Trouble and the Wallflower

by Kade Boehme

  Davy was mesmerized by Gavin’s golden singing voice. He could have sworn he’d heard him sing before, so how had he not noticed that rich baritone before? Even though he was being completely silly, Gavin still sang the song beautifully. This time Gavin separated them and spun under their joined arms, then came back to Davy, ass to Davy’s crotch, as he swayed them. Davy laughed at Gavin’s sweet abandon as they danced together.

  By the end of the song, they were both laughing and Davy was feeling light as air. Davy stopped, completely taken with the joy on Gavin’s face. Gavin smiled so serenely at him, eyes full of happiness. “God, I’m so in love with you, Davy Cooper.” Davy blushed, but smiled back . His heart was so light in that moment. It was such a sweet feeling.

  Gavin kissed him, then held him close as they rocked to a slower Nat King Cole song. Gavin’s arms felt so strong and sure around his waist. Davy was finding it harder and harder to pick a favorite of his moments with Gavin, but he knew this one would rank right up at the top.

  After a while of swaying and a few slow kisses, getting lost in their bubble they started becoming impatient, and Davy could feel Gavin’s hardness against his thigh. Davy regretfully pulled out of the embrace.

  “Okay, I gotta finish up,” he said, trying to be the voice of reason, though he really didn’t want to. He laughed at Gavin when Gavin poked out his bottom lip in a pout. “You’re ridiculous.” God, he loved how comfortable he was with Gavin. He’d never felt so free or open around someone. “We’re just lucky I already clocked out. It’ll take five minutes to finish up.”

  Gavin huffed in mock annoyance. “Fine. I’ll pack up my stuff.”

  Davy made his way back around the corner and watched Gavin stomp over to the booth he’d been sitting at and pack his book away in his messenger bag, every once in a while throwing a pouty look over his shoulder at Davy like a petulant child.

  “Pitiful. You’re effing pitiful, Gavin.”

  “But you love me.” Gavin smiled brightly, almost looking like the happy child he’d never had the chance to be. It stilled Davy’s heart.

  “Yes, I do love you,” Davy said, shaking his head. “Though I don’t know why.”

  “Hey!” Gavin said in mock offense.

  Davy just waved him off. “Stop distracting me so I can make Ray his to-go peanut butter shake, then we can go home and screw our brains out.” He couldn’t tell who was more surprised by his statement. He didn’t say stuff like that. What had Gavin done to him? Gavin obviously was enjoying this new Davy, though, because he let out a shocked guffaw.

  Gavin came to the counter and leaned over to where Davy was counting down his cash drawer, then stole a kiss. “That sounds fucking awesome.” Davy felt his face heat under Gavin’s leer. “Although, I don’t know who’ll be happier. I mean as much as I enjoy sex, especially sex with you, I think if he was a few years younger, Ray would marry you just for your peanut butter shakes.”

  Davy pulled out his most seductive look, damning how silly he felt. “Well, I am pretty good at all things that require a little… sucking.”

  Gavin’s eyed widened and he gripped his heart dramatically. “Damn, baby. You need to hurry the hell up.” He reached across and grabbed Davy by the apron, then pulled him into a sloppy kiss. “I’d like to put that theory to the test.”

  A full-body shudder wracked Davy. It took him less than five minutes to be out the door.

  “Ray, we’re home,” Gavin called out as he led Davy into the house by his hand. Davy realized Gavin had been doing things like that more and more lately. Maybe Davy wasn’t the only one who felt a little possessive. He didn’t mind in the least. Touching Gavin, even in the simple ways, drove him wild and made him feel cared for.

  “In the den, Gavin,” Ray’s voice directed them. Davy set down the to-go cup that held Ray’s peanut butter shake and took his hand back from Gavin so they could take their shoes off. When Davy kicked his shoes into the corner where everyone else’s were piled, he turned and Gavin stole a kiss. Davy jumped in surprise, then laughed at himself.

  “So jumpy,” Gavin teased, poking him in the ribs where he was most ticklish.

  “What are you, four years old?” Davy swatted at Gavin’s searching hands. “Stop!” He laughed, moving toward the den in a brisk pace, Gavin hot on his trail.

  Davy stopped in his tracks, Gavin running into his back, when he saw Ray had company. He didn’t really need to ask who she was when he felt Gavin take his hand in his and grip as if he might float out to sea if he let go.

  The woman was an older, feminine version of Gavin. She was tall and thin with the same deep-brown eyes, and Davy knew if her eyebrows hadn’t been done they’d have that same prominent shape as Gavin’s. Other than her clothes that would have looked more appropriate on a twenty-year-old, she looked older than he’d expected.

  Carmen Walker looked from Gavin to Davy, then at their linked hands. For a moment, Gavin thought he saw annoyance in her eyes, but she quickly recovered with a smile that was eerily similar to Gavin’s smile when he was feeling contrite—which, let’s face it, was rare, and she was no better at contrite than he was.

  “Hello, Gavin.”

  “Carmen.” Even Davy flinched at the icy tone Gavin shot at her. If Davy didn’t know their past he would have felt bad for the woman.

  “Gavin….” Ray’s voice was reproachful. Davy looked at Gavin, who was staring hard at his mother.

  “What’s she doing here?”

  “Well, my father is sick and my son is dealing with it all on his own,” Carmen said, as if it was the stupidest question she’d ever heard.

  Gavin scoffed and let go of Davy’s hand to stalk over to her space. “Gavin, back down,” Ray tried to ease out of his chair, but his eyes glassed over in pain, so Davy rushed to his side and put a hand on Ray’s shoulder, pushing him gently back down into the chair. Carmen shot another look that could be read as annoyed at Davy, but he couldn’t say for certain. He really wished he was better with people.

  “You expect me to believe you’re just here, out of the blue, to help?” Gavin’s voice rose with every word.

  Carmen held his gaze. “I know you have no reason to trust me, but you don’t know the whole story. I’m here to help and to try to be a family. I know I have to prove myself but I’m here to try.”

  Davy almost gasped hearing Gavin’s mother say words similar to the ones Gavin had once spoken to him. Gavin flinched back, obviously affected. Carmen’s eyes flashed in victory, much the same as Gavin’s had at one time. Davy was stunned at the resemblance, but he knew that was where their similarities ended. He still had a sense there wasn’t much pretty lurking beyond the woman’s surface, whereas beyond his hard surface Gavin was all goodness.

  “Fuck this. I won’t hear it.” Gavin marched over to Davy and snatched him by the hand. Davy could see the desperate need to flee in his lover, and the pain in Gavin’s eyes made him want to pull Gavin close and make everything better, though he knew he couldn’t.

  “Come on, Davy. We’re fucking out of here.” Davy winced. Gavin obviously didn’t realize he was still yelling. Even he did, but Gavin was freaking out too much for Davy to think telling him to calm down would be wise. Davy went along as Gavin tugged him toward the door, throwing Ray an apologetic look. Before they’d made it out, though, Davy froze, pulling Gavin up short. Gavin tried to tug, but Davy stayed rooted to the spot looking at the door to the kitchen, and pulled back on Gavin’s hand.

  “What in the serious fuck?” Gavin turned on Davy. Davy put a hand on Gavin’s face and let him have a moment to breath. Gavin’s nostrils flared, gaze darting over Davy’s face, wild with the need to run.

  “Gavin, you gotta calm down.”

  “What the fuck for?”

  Davy did his best to not shrink under Gavin’s anger and panic. “Gav, you’re scaring him.” Davy nodded toward the young boy who’d come in from the kitchen, wide-eyed and apparently startled from all the yelling. Carmen noticed the boy at
the same time Gavin did and moved toward him.

  “And who in the fuck is that?” Gavin’s voice was so small.

  “Language,” Carmen scolded. She folded the boy, who couldn’t have been more than three or four years old, up in her arms and lifted him onto her hip. Davy didn’t know how Gavin could ask such a silly question. The boy looked at them with another pair of those deep-brown eyes from under that similar noble brow as he hid in his mother’s shoulder..

  “Who is the fuck is that?” Gavin was working himself into a fit.

  Davy gripped Gavin’s shoulder, awaiting the blow.

  “Gavin,” Carmen started, smiling at the child. “This is Oliver. Your brother.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “What?” Gavin knew he was yelling. Even Davy’s steadying hand on his arm wasn’t helping him regain control. And Gavin hated losing control. Especially when he did so was because of his mother. From the moment he’d seen her face he’d completely lost his grip.

  “Gavin, calm down,” Davy said softly. Gavin felt bad when Davy had to put up an obvious fight not to cower under the glare Gavin shot him. Davy rubbed his arm, trying to comfort him. It wasn’t working. Gavin was shaking. He wasn’t really angry or scared, his nerves were just completely shot. It was too much to take in.

  His mother. Here. Still dressing as though she was Gavin’s age, but she had a belly that spoke of too much beer and a face aged from too many rough nights. He had a flash of sympathy, knowing not all of it was her fault. He’d gone to Al-Anon a few times and knew alcoholism was a disease, but that fact didn’t erase a fucked-up childhood. And it sure didn’t erase the image of his first love balls-deep in his own mother on the same couch he’d shared his first kiss with Max—his first kiss ever.

  He closed his eyes against the flood of painful memories. Reality sucked right now. No matter how far he’d run from it, it just wouldn’t let him go.

  Holy shit. And a brother? One who looked so much like him that it created an ache in Gavin’s chest. Gavin was sad for not knowing the kid and he felt horrible because it was plain that he was scaring the shit out of him, and he knew their mother had probably damaged little Oliver enough without Gavin giving the kid a nervous condition. He tried to reel in his emotions, anchoring himself to Davy’s touch. Gavin gripped the hand Davy had on his arm and breathed in and out with his eyes closed. Davy murmured quiet reassurances that Gavin appreciated more than he was capable of expressing, especially right then.

  “We should take this in the other room. Away from small ears,” Ray said. Gavin watched Ray struggle through his pain to try to get out of his easy chair. Gavin smiled at how quickly Davy let go of his arm to rush to Ray’s aid. The fact that Davy knew Gavin would prefer Ray be helped than for Gavin to be coddled went a long way to distracting Gavin himself enough that he could pull himself together. Watching Ray give in to Davy’s kindness, accepting him so completely, was such a stunning thing to Gavin.

  “You’re right,” Gavin said calmly. He walked over to help Davy with Ray’s weight.

  The old guy laughed and said, “Of course I am.” Gavin and Davy laughed, despite the tension of the moment. Ray started making his way toward the kitchen.

  Gavin held out his hand for Davy to come with him. “Davy?”

  Gavin almost snapped again when he saw the slightest temper flair in his mother’s eyes. Ray held up a hand. “Davy, I’m gonna need something stronger than that peanut butter shake, so why don’t you let Oliver there have it? Would you mind watching him for a minute while I take care of these knuckleheads?”

  Gavin and Carmen started to protest, Davy looking very unsure at Ray’s request.

  “Ray. Davy is important to me. He should be there.”

  Ray shook his head at Gavin in the way he did when he thought Gavin was being a jackass. “No, Gavin, Davy here is important to all of us. He’s family. But I’m sure he and Oliver would rather not watch you and your mother box like a pair of drunk kangaroos.”

  He knew Ray was right. Neither Davy nor Oliver deserved to watch Gavin and Carmen square off. But Ray’s acknowledgment of Davy as family created such a heady feeling that Gavin’s knees went weak. Gavin looked at Davy, who was chewing his bottom lip, but smiling and looking at the floor, before collecting himself and holding his arms out to take Oliver from a dumbfounded Carmen. Gavin wasn’t sure what it was to her that Davy was important to them. She didn’t know shit about what his relationship was with Davy or with Ray. Fuck her.

  “C’mon, Ollie. Me and you, we’re gonna go look at your brother’s model cars. Sound cool?” Oliver looked uncertainly at his mother, and when she relented, still looking at her father with wide eyes, Oliver smiled and said, “Cars.” Gavin fell in love with one single word. When Davy took Oliver in his arms and said, “Nice to meet you, Ollie,” Gavin thought he’d seen God when Davy used the nickname he and Oliver smiled at each other.

  “I’m not Ollie, I’m Oliver!” Oliver said enthusiastically in the way only a kid could say.

  Davy shook his head. “Oh, no. I’m calling you Ollie. Cuz I’m too lazy to say Oliver.”

  Oliver laughed at Davy and said, “Silly.” Gavin couldn’t recall ever having been such a happy child. He wondered with some envy whether Carmen had actually been a loving mother for Oliver, or whether he was just a resilient child. He’d probably like one of those third-world orphans who don’t get enough love, so they cling to everyone else really easily. Gavin laughed sardonically at his cynical inner voice.

  “Is that settled?” Ray asked. He was clearly as pleased at the sight of Davy and Oliver’s interaction as Davy was, as his face was full of pure affection. God, Gavin was thinking he’d turned into total mush on the inside. Damn that Davy. And now the kid? Davy and Oliver chose that moment to look at Gavin with wide eyes and bright smiles.

  He was so screwed.

  Gavin scowled at Carmen, who was still looking over the scene with a mix of wonderment and what Gavin still considered too much like annoyance. That only served to get him hot under the collar all over again. “Let’s get this over with,” he snapped.

  Carmen and Ray both frowned at him but they headed into the kitchen. He looked at Davy, who gave him a reassuring half-smile, then Gavin followed his grandfather and his erstwhile mother into a room that had been his safest place for so long. And he couldn’t help but be furious because here she was. She was taking the walls down on his safe place, replacing them with the mold and the rot that was his painful memories with her.

  Stop being so dramatic, he scolded himself.

  “Okay, Carmen. I’m waiting,” Gavin said, watching her help Ray ease into his chair at the breakfast table.

  She looked around the room for a moment. “Wow, the memories in this old house….” She looked as though she was reflecting on the room fondly, though she’d done nothing but trash her memories of the place she’d grown up and he childhood for as long as Gavin could remember.

  “I’m not here for you to reminisce about your past, which last time I checked you weren’t so fond of.” Gavin saw that Ray was not pleased with his bitchy tone. He couldn’t help himself, though. He didn’t trust the woman as far as he could throw her. “Why. Are. You. Here?” He bit each word off, looking at Carmen pointedly.

  She stood, squaring her shoulders. “I wanted you to meet your brother and for your grandfather to have a chance to know Oliver before he died.”

  “But why now, Carmen?” Ray asked. “Not that I’m not grateful to see the boy, I just don’t understand the timing. I’ve been sick a long time.”

  Carmen went to speak but Gavin cut her off. “Or you could have brought him years ago when Ray wasn’t sick. I mean, how old is the kid, anyways? Three? Four?”

  “He just turned three in March.” Carmen was a bit shamefaced at the answer. Gavin wondered why, then he stopped himself from reeling back when he did the math on some things.

  “Why are you here?” Gavin snarled.

  “I just finished rehab
. Six months sober.” She was looking at Ray now. “I heard how sick you were and knew it was time to see you.” She looked at Gavin straight on. “Time to come home.”

  “This is—” Gavin started, but Ray quieted him with a stony gaze.

  “This is always your home, Carmen,” Ray said calmly.

  “What?” Gavin asked incredulously.

  “Gavin. I’m disappointed. She’s come to make amends. Now, I don’t know the whole story of what’s gone on between the two of you, and I’m afraid I don’t want to know.” Ray turned that stony gaze to his daughter. “Carmen, of course you and that boy are welcome here as long as you need. But make no mistake, I don’t trust you, yet. God knows I love you. You’re my baby girl, and I’ve wanted nothing but to see you standing here in front of me, sober and healthy, for a long time. I feel blessed to have seen it before I die. But this is more for Oliver than for you. He had a right to know his brother.”

  “Yes, sir.” Carmen actually sounded contrite.

  “Ray?” Gavin heard the desperation in his own voice.

  Carmen walked over to him. “Gavin, I know I did horrible things to you. I do. I’ll regret them until the day I die, but I do want to try to make up for it. I want to be here for you so you’re not doing this all alone.”

  Gavin’s chin jutted out stubbornly. “I’m not alone. I have Davy.”

  “Yes. Davy. He seems like a sweet kid.” Gavin could tell Carmen’s smile was fake. Or it could be he was just that distrustful of her. And why shouldn’t he be?

  “Carmen, you’ll remember that Davy has been a big help. He’s welcome whenever he likes,” Ray said, and with that the subject closed.

  Carmen nodded at her father. “As it should be.” She looked back and Gavin. “You obviously care for him.” Another fake smile. Or maybe that was her genuine smile. Her face had become tired over the years. Maybe it wasn’t capable of a genuinely happy expression.