Apostate

by Frankie Robertson

  Tasha pressed her cheek against his chest as she held him close. **We have places to go and people to meet,** she said, though a distinct lack of conviction colored her thought.

  **I hear and obey.**

  Tasha snorted as she reluctantly pulled away. **If only.**

  Kellan laughed and shut the door in her face.

  An hour and a half later they parked in front of Melchior and Athena’s house in a slightly more recently developed section of Bisbee. The neighborhood was less quaint than the Old Town area but also less hilly and easier to navigate with a car. The floral fragrance of Tasha’s shampoo filled the car and he would much prefer to nuzzle her shoulder-length hair than follow up on the two Apostate U’dahmi, but neither of them were responding to phone calls or texts. Tasha was worried. He, on the other hand, was sure they’d bugged out as soon as he and Tasha had left their gallery.

  U’dahmi were skilled at hiding. How much more so would an U’dahmi sharing a body with a human host be? They had to hide their existence not only from the U’dahmi Council but also the Celestials. And the irony of thinking of them as Apostates wasn’t lost on him. The Council would consider the cohabiters to be Apostates because they exposed their existence to humans, while the Celestials considered all U’dahmi to be Apostates since they’d willingly and willfully abandoned the Celestial Realm to avoid taking sides in the war. Interesting that the Gaians weren’t tarred with that same brush—probably because Gaia and her followers had chosen to integrate with the Terrestrial Plane long before the conflict arose.

  Tasha took his hand and caught the tail of his thoughts. **I looked up Apostate in the dictionary after Monique tried to impress the need for secrecy on me. She was afraid that my unique experience with Celestials like Jared and Gideon would make me sloppy. It seems to me it’s a convenient label to use when you don’t want to look at a person or a situation too closely. An Apostate is someone who forsakes his religion or cause. The U’dahmi never took up the Celestial cause, so you shouldn’t be accused of forsaking it. Neither should the cohabiters. They’re even more obsessed with keeping a low profile than normal U’dahmi.** She huffed a laugh and rolled her eyes. **I can’t believe I just called the U’dahmi “normal”.**

  He lifted a brow. **I think I should be insulted.**

  **You know what I mean!**

  **I do.** He returned to her earlier thought. ** But most Celestials don’t see it your way. Michael is pretty stiff-necked about loyalty and maintaining order. He and his Seraphim see withholding our allegiance to them as being only half a step away from rejecting their cause. Raphael follows Michael’s lead because it’s easier than arguing with him. Lucifer and his Lightbringers were the only ones who ever effectively challenged him, but even they fell in line. **

  **Leaving only the crazy factions still on the outs?**

  **Pretty much. The true Apostates have a few leaders that are still a thorn in Michael’s side—Beelzebub and Lucifuge among them—but no shortage of trouble makers. They have very different ideas about what the Celestials’ purpose should be. Fortunately, they spend as much time fighting each other as they do fighting the Celestials.**

  **Sounds messy.**

  **It is. That’s one reason the Seraphim are obsessed with keeping order, and why the U’dahmi wanted no part of their war.**

  Tasha squeezed his hand but remained quiet in mind and tongue. Kellan rested in her mental company. Being with her last night and this morning had filled a void in his soul that he hadn’t realized he had. After a few moments, he made himself release her hand so they could get out of the car and go check the house. Talking with her mind-to-mind felt so natural, so comfortable, it was hard to return to verbal communication.

  Tasha smiled shyly. “I feel the same.”

  He knew she must, otherwise their connection wouldn’t flow so easily, but he was pleased that she acknowledged it. In the space of six months, she’d gone from denying her psychic skills to conversing telepathically with ease.

  “Is this what it’s like between you and Jasper?”

  A jolt of guilt made him freeze with his hand on the door handle. The balm of his connection with Tasha had pushed his anxiety for Jasper to the back of his mind. It had hidden there like a stone in his shoe, but her affection had allowed him to ignore the fear he felt for his partner. She’d restored his equilibrium, but now he again had to face the possibility that another U’dahmi, his partner, had died.

  She must have seen the pain in his face because she quickly backtracked. “I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to ask.”

  “It’s all right. You can’t know what it’s like for us unless I tell you. I don’t mind sharing that with you. Just—not right now.”

  Tasha nodded mutely, her grief for bringing up a painful topic clear on her face. She was already out of the car and halfway to the door by the time he walked around the Cherokee. He wasn’t surprised. Modern women didn’t expect a man to hand them into and out of a carriage anymore. The horses under the hood of a car weren’t going to spook and knock them to the ground. But sometimes Kellan missed the old ways, when a man could show his consideration for a lady.

  He caught up with her and forced her to pause with a hand on her arm while he assessed the property. Bright blue with white gingerbread trim, the house had a hollow feeling. The drapes were still drawn even though it was nearly eleven in the morning.

  “Let’s knock on the door,” Tasha said, pulling away.

  Kellan caught her arm again, holding her back. “Let me go first. I’m not expecting trouble, but I’d rather err on the side of caution.”

  She didn’t roll her eyes, but Kellan suspected she wanted to. She felt bad about bringing up a difficult topic so she didn’t argue, letting him precede her up the walk to the yellow door. As expected, no one answered his first or second series of raps.

  “No one’s here.” Kellan turned but Tasha wasn’t there. A rill of alarm zinged down his spine, quickly suppressed. She hadn’t cried out; he’d heard no sound of struggle. The minx had probably slipped around back.

  Behind him, the latch on the front door clicked and he spun around.

  “They left the back door unlocked,” she said. “A lot of people do in a small town.”

  Anger tightened his jaw. She’d taken a risk leaving him that way. “I told you to stay behind me.”

  “Chill. I wrapped myself in shadow so the neighbors wouldn’t see me sneaking around.”

  She didn’t get it. “That’s neither an explanation nor a justification.”

  “You should come in, Michael,” she said, implying he was as stiff-necked as the Seraphim First. “If you want to bitch me out, the front porch probably isn’t the best place to do it. Not to mention, the place looks like it’s been tossed.”

  Tasha’s pleasure in using her new skill cooled as Kellan glared at her. He was angry, which seemed totally unreasonable since she’d found a way in that didn’t involve forced entry.

  “Don’t. Ever. Do that. Again.”

  “But I helped us get in.” She sounded defensive. Not the tone she wanted. “Look,” she waved her hand around, “this place is wrecked. I think something happened to them.”

  Kellan held up his hand, stopping her. “You said you wanted to be my partner. Then be my partner. You have to work with me, not go off on your own without letting me know what you’re doing. And for now that means following my lead since I have years of experience as a private investigator, let alone millennia of just being alive, and you don’t.”

  “Seriously? Are you going to play the age card in every argument? Ana used to do that, too.”

  “That’s not what this is about. If you could have apprenticed to Coco Chanel, would you disregard her advice? Would you think you knew better than she did how to design a dress?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Then respect my accumulated knowledge, too.”

  “I do!” But he was so hot it was hard to remember sometimes that he had a few y
ears on her.

  Kellan just stared at her, his dark eyes holding hers, demanding that she see things from his perspective. She cringed inwardly. He was right. She’d wanted to impress him. She’d been showing off. “Sorry. I’ll touch base with you before going off on my own.”

  His face relaxed, but only partly. “Thank you. I’d prefer you didn’t go off on your own at all, but for now, I’ll take what I can get. Let’s take a look around, starting in the bedroom.”

  Tasha followed him. “But as talented as Chanel was, I wouldn’t apprentice with her. She was a Nazi spy.”

  He glanced over his shoulder, a slight smile quirking his lips. “Good to know.”

  She sighed. “You already knew that, didn’t you?”

  Kellan answered with a Gallic shrug.

  Something unknotted in her chest. He didn’t nurture his anger. That was also good to know.

  The bedroom was in even more disarray than the living room. Clothing lay discarded across the bed and the floor, and several of the dresser drawers were half open.

  “Do you think they found what they were looking for?”

  Kellan answered from inside the closet. “Of course, since they knew where to look.”

  “What do you mean? Do you think whoever it was forced Melchior and Athena to tell them? Do you think they’re all right? And what do you think they were looking for?”

  Kellan backed out of the closet, with a bemused expression. “Their emergency cash. It looks like Melchior and Athena didn’t have bug-out bags already packed. Careless of them.” He shook his head. “But they would surely have had some funds secreted away to finance their escape if they needed to make a quick getaway. Especially after Jasper visited and they knew the Council had them on their radar. In fact, I’m rather surprised they didn’t leave right after he left.”

  “You think Melchior and Athena did all this? Why?”

  “No suitcases in the closet. And the mess.”

  Tasha glanced around. “I hate to admit this, but my room looked kind of like this when I was a teenager. And in college my roommates were even worse. I think I owe Ana an apology.”

  Kellan chuckled. “You’ll get your chance. Our next stop is Tucson.”

  Something lifted in Tasha’s breast. She and Ana hadn’t been close for years. It had mostly been her own fault. Ana had embraced their parents’ pagan religion, and Tasha had rejected it wholesale. Their magic hadn’t saved them and so it had been a lie—or so she’d thought. She’d been a teenage PITA. Now she knew better and she wanted to make it up to Ana, but Kellan had sequestered her for the last six months to keep her safe. “I thought you didn’t want me exposed to the Golden Path.”

  “I still don’t, but now that you’ve had some training you’re less vulnerable. And I don’t have a lot of choices. Tucson is where Jasper’s body is, and Jared has contacts in the police department. I’ll need his help getting access to Jasper’s phone. You might as well visit your sister while we’re there—not that I could keep you from her.”

  Tasha grinned. “You’re learning, grasshopper.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Dave sat with Julie sipping a chocolate shake. Alex had already finished his vanilla cone and was now clambering through the McDonald’s PlayPlace. The new steel door he’d bought was in the back of his SUV with a red flag hanging off the corner. He’d spent an extra sixty bucks to get one with a half-round window at the top because Julie’s eyes kept going back to it, and what the heck, it was in stock. He’d also purchased a peephole kit. The new door was probably going to be the most invasion resistant part of her miserable little trailer.

  “I hate that you can order a shake without a second thought about how many calories it has,” Julie said.

  Dave pulled the straw out of his mouth. “Come with me for a five-mile run this afternoon on the beach and you won’t have to worry, either.”

  “Funny.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “Even if I could run five miles, I don’t think Alex can, and I’m not leaving him alone again until he’s twenty-one.”

  Dave grinned. “He might have something to say about that.”

  Julie stared straight ahead, blinking quickly. Was she crying? “Alex is a good kid, and you’re a good mother. Don’t doubt that.”

  “Except I brought a low-life like Chad into our home. What if Chad had gotten hold of him? What if Alex had shot him? Or you? I wasn’t there to protect him!”

  “Fuck, Julie, you made a mistake! You both survived. You’ll do better next time.” He put down his shake.

  Julie wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked hard at him. “Is that your criteria for success? Survival?” she asked softly. Her question didn’t contain any criticism. She sounded sorry for him.

  “I’ve been in some deep shit-holes and lost good buddies in combat. Surviving doesn’t feel like success when that happens. I’ve made choices I’m not proud of and fucked up plenty over the years. That doesn’t feel like success either. But surviving means I’m still here, and maybe I can fix some of the things I’ve screwed up. I couldn’t do that if I were dead.” Sometimes that was all that kept him going. “It's not everything, but surviving is always step one.”

  She pursed her lips and nodded. “I’m glad you survived,” she said quietly.

  Those four words dropped into his heart and sent a ripple of hope through his soul. Maybe they could mend fences after all.

  Tasha released a deep breath of relief as Kellan pulled the Cherokee into the open bay of Jared’s four-car garage. Even though she’d wanted to return to Tucson to visit Ana, it was also where the Golden Path had kidnapped her less than a year ago. She pretended—both for Kellan’s peace of mind and her own—that she wasn’t worried about them finding her again. It was a lie and they both knew it. She still had nightmares about being locked in that lightless cell. They didn’t come quite as often as they did six months ago, but Monique had probably tattled to Kellan every time she’d found Tasha up at three in the morning with every light in the condo blazing. The Dark might call to her, but that didn’t mean she liked it.

  As soon as Kellan killed the engine the door rolled down behind them. He’d driven around for a while making sure they hadn’t picked up a tail. Tucson was a mid-sized city where most of the residents, including Jared’s neighbors, xeriscaped their yards with desert-adapted trees, cactus, and crushed granite. That kind of landscaping both conserved water and didn’t give stalkers many places to lurk. When they’d called to let him know they were coming Jared had said they’d seen no sign of surveillance for over three months—and he should know since he owned a security company. But Kellan wanted to be careful, and in this case, Tasha was grateful for it.

  A Mercedes SUV and two Priuses occupied the other parking bays. Jared was seriously rich, a result of having had over a hundred and sixty years to accumulate his wealth. Which made Tasha wonder, was Kellan rich, too? He’d been around for way longer. Monique had been, too, but a lot of her money had been inherited from her body’s late husband.

  Jared stood by the door into the kitchen, holding it open. He wore a crisp yellow button-down shirt tucked into his dark-wash jeans. Standard Tucson garb taken up a notch. He’d helped rescue her from the Golden Path in May, but Kellan was tense, and that made her wary. The Lightbringer hadn’t been friendly toward Kellan when they’d first met, but Kellan assured her that Jared was a good guy and he’d brought her to the Celestial’s home, after all. That implied a certain amount of trust.

  Tasha touched his hand. **Are you okay?**

  Her lover glanced at her, lifting the corner of his mouth in a wry smile. **I’m fine.** But underneath his assertion, she could feel his worry. Not about Jared. He was anxious about Jasper and whether he was still alive, and trying to not let it get the better of him.

  She squeezed his fingers. **That’s normal. I’m here.**

  Kellan’s eyes widened a bit, grateful for the support. He nodded, and then got out of the SUV—bu
t not before bringing her fingers to his mouth for a light kiss.

  “Ana’s inside,” Jared said after giving Tasha a brief hug. “She’s practically jumping up and down she’s so anxious to see you.”

  Tasha was eager to see her sister, too. She returned Jared’s embrace after she recovered from her surprise. Her skin tingled where he’d touched it. He hadn’t seemed like the hugging type, except with his wife, Cassie, and his daughter, Grace. Maybe that was because he was a Lightbringer and more concerned with knowledge and information? Her sister’s husband was a Guardian and seemed more affectionate. But to be fair, she didn’t know either man very well. She’d barely met them before Kellan had whisked her away.

  Jared shook hands with Kellan. “I called everyone over after you phoned. That way you’ll only have to explain everything once.”

  Kellan drew back a little. “It wasn’t my intention to disrupt everyone’s lives.”

  “You’re used to operating independently. I get that,” Jared said, pushing the door wider so they could pass into the house. “You might as well tell us what’s going on, though. We’re here, and then if you do need help, we’ll be ready.”

  “Tasha!” An instant later Ana was folding her arms around her and pulling her close. “How are you?”

  Ana looked the same, though possibly even happier than she’d been six months ago at her wedding. She wore her long brown hair down. Jeans and a turtleneck covered her rounded figure. In the summer she’d wear her hair up or in a ponytail, and she’d don a tank top or a loose flowing peasant blouse and shorts. It was the same style she’d worn since they were teenagers. It was comforting in a way, if predictable. Her sister had always been more interested in ease of wear than fashion.