Trust Me, I’m a Personal Trainer

by Sam Derbyshire

  “So am I,” replied Maggie as the waitress appeared “and that actually sounds good. I’ll have the same, I think. So that’s two avocado and tomatoes on sourdough, please, and a black coffee.”

  Maggie looked at the waitress. “And I wonder if you can help me with something?”

  Rachael held her breath. Maggie was a bit like Rex; you never knew quite what they were going to come out with.

  “Of course,” replied the chirpy waitress, high on plant power and wholesome good vibes.

  “Hemp milk,” replied Maggie. “Is it legal?” She lowered her voice. “I mean, I thought hemp was, you know, cannabis?”

  The waitress smiled. “Yes it is, but a different variety, don’t worry, you won’t get high on it.”

  “Well that’s a real shame,” replied Maggie. “I quite fancied a double hit of high-ness. Coffee and cannabis sounded quite appealing. Might have made life a bit more interesting, hey, Rachael? I’ll try it though; I’ll have a hemp latte. Thank you.”

  And as the waitress disappeared, Rachael laughed. It was difficult to comprehend how she had disliked Maggie for so long. She certainly wouldn’t listen so easily to others and be so quick to judge in the future. Gossip, as she now realised, could be toxic and jealousy was an ugly trait. Women could be a nightmare sometimes. Maggie was an inspiration and she’d become a great friend. She couldn’t imagine life without her now.

  CHAPTER 51

  With their coffee and breakfast ordered, Maggie and Rachael’s conversation turned back to the matter in hand. Truth be told, they were both enjoying the intrigue.

  “Well,” said Rachael, “it looks like Rex has got a session with Thor this morning too. He must have booked one by himself. He said it was football again and I asked him if Callum was going, but he said no.”

  “Callum said he was playing golf.”

  “Rex said that too, so he probably is. It was quite funny though because he said that Steve was going, and I said that I would phone Lucy and see if she wanted a coffee and then he had to backtrack and said, “Oh I forgot, Steve had to stand in for someone at golf too.” It was hilarious. He must know I’ve guessed.”

  “Well it’ll be interesting for Thor, especially as I told him that they both thought he was having an affair with us. Thor was horrified.”

  “That’s a shame, I was living in hope,” said Rachael.

  “He’s bound to interrogate him,” continued Maggie. “He was quite annoyed that they thought that, he’ll want to put him straight. Shame really because it was convenient for me, keeps Callum off the real scent.”

  “So are you seeing Myles next weekend?” asked Rachael. “I can’t believe he’s still coming up.”

  “Why?” said Maggie. “He’s invited, he’s more of a friend of Davie’s than Callum is. Callum doesn’t like Davie much either. To be honest he doesn’t seem to like anyone these days, probably because he’s a bit depressed.”

  “Won’t be easy for Myles though, will it? Wont he feel a bit awkward?”

  “I doubt it,” replied Maggie. “I’m sure he’s been there before; it probably won’t be the first time he’s been out with the husband of someone he’s seduced.”

  “Mmm, probably,” replied Rachael, still amazed that Maggie was throwing all her eggs into one highly dubious basket. “Hopefully it’s the last.”

  Maggie was quiet for a moment. She had her doubts too, but for some reason she was prepared to take a risk. It couldn’t be any worse than the marriage she was planning on leaving behind.

  “I hope so too; I just have to trust him, don’t I?”

  Rachael, sensing that she may have touched a nerve, turned the focus on herself. She’d been unsettled too this morning when Rex had mysteriously become appealing over breakfast; it wasn’t in her master plan, she now felt a little confused.

  “I don’t know what to do either,” she said, smiling at the waitress who had returned with a jug of iced, minted water and glasses.

  “What do you mean?’ said Maggie, pouring the water into two glasses. “With Rex? I thought you’d made up your mind to chuck him out.”

  “Well I had,” said Rachael, taking a sip of the water. It was so refreshing. “But now I’m not sure. He’s sort of grown on me again.”

  Maggie was astonished.

  “How the hell’s he managed that? You wanted to kill him last week.”

  “I wanted to kill him this morning,” laughed Rachael, “but he is actually quite funny and I suppose we’ve spent more time together lately since Amy’s been home. We have had a laugh and I really think he is trying to get fit. He’s not been out since the football night and he’s hardly had a drink. Christ, I even thought I might want to have sex with him this morning, for the first time in ten years.”

  “Oh well,” said Maggie, taking a plate from the waitress. “Give it a go, it’ll be a lot cheaper than getting divorced.”

  “Yeah probably, but, oh I don’t know,” said Rachael. She didn’t know; she didn’t know what she thought any more. She changed direction. “So, when are you going to tell Callum about Myles? Or are you going to tell him? It’s not going to be easy, is it?” She couldn’t imagine having to tell Rex that she was having an affair with Myles Cavendish. It was one thing admitting to an affair, but owning up to an affair with a guy they’d all known for twenty years wouldn’t be something she’d want to do. She wondered how the guys would take it and what it would mean for their friendships.

  Maggie sighed.

  “Myles and I did discuss it. To be honest, Callum and I can’t go on like this for much longer. He’s so miserable and obviously just wants to be with this Emma woman and it’s horrible sharing a house with him. He hardly speaks, he’s glued to his phone and – most of the time –he just sits in his study; it’s really lonely.”

  “Tell me about it,” replied Rachael. “Until recently, Rex only came home before nine if he couldn’t find anyone to have a pint with and then he’d come home pissed and fall asleep and I’d just get so angry. It’s been so different having him home in the evening and actually sharing a meal together.”

  “Do you think it will last?” asked Maggie, taking the hemp latte from the waitress. It looked OK although she wasn’t convinced that it could possibly resemble the real thing.

  “I’ve no idea,” replied Rachael, taking her black coffee. Maybe she should have tried the hemp; it looked OK.

  “The thing is, I’ve also got the girls to think about. They’ve got exams. It couldn’t be a worse time for them, actually, although they are away at school. I’m not going to say anything until after Davie’s birthday though; I don’t think it’s fair to spoil a party. I’ll have to do it soon. A boil is always better after its lanced, it’s just the lancing that is extremely painful.”

  With the arrival of their breakfast, both of them mulled over their situations. The breakfast looked delicious and they were both happy to tuck in.

  “This is delightful,” said Maggie through a mouthful. “Good choice.”

  “Thanks,” replied Rachael. “I’m beginning to wonder how I ever lived without avocados.”

  “So what made Amy get into this vegan thing?” said Maggie. “It’s all very interesting although I’m not sure I could cope with it.”

  “She wants to save the planet,” said Rachael, “because our generation have completely stuffed it for them by selfishly trashing the place for their future. Apparently, meat production causes methane, at least I think that’s what she said, which is causing global warming, which will melt the ice in the artic and flood half the world. Then we’ll all try to kill each other as we all fight for whatever land is left which hasn’t been flooded or covered with plastic. Or something like that.”

  “Well that’s depressing,” replied Maggie, taking another sip of hemp latte.

  “Anyway, I’m sticking to it at the moment, it’s definitely helping me lose weight.”

  “I’m looking forward to this night out, aren’t you?” she said, changing th
e subject. “It’s a coincidence that it’s the same night as Davie’s do, although the upside of them getting the message from Thor is that they know where we’re going and they’ll be wanting to avoid us at all costs. I wouldn’t want to bump into that lot on a night out, would you?”

  “Especially under the circumstances,” replied Rachael. “I don’t think I could handle it, especially knowing about you and Myles. It would be a bit awkward.”

  “Oh Myles and I would carry it off, don’t worry. Anyway, let’s think of the positives. A night out calls for a bit of dressing up, doesn’t it? I could do with a new frock. When are we going shopping?”

  And as the new BFFs turned their attention away from their marriages to shopping for a while, life, for a brief moment in time, returned to normal.

  * * *

  Rex was feeling a little nervous. He’d only really had to work out for about twenty minutes in their first session, as by the time they’d both been weighed and interrogated, they hadn’t had to exercise for very long. Worryingly though, he’d found it extremely tough and he had no idea what a one-to-one was going to entail. What he did know was that he wouldn’t be able to compare himself to Callum this time; the spotlight would be well and truly on him. Thor appeared in front of him. Rex was impressed; he wanted to look like Thor. He knew he didn’t have youth on his side, but surely it wasn’t too late to turn the clock back a little.

  “Rex,” said Thor. “Good to see you, come in. We’ll have a bit of a chat before we head downstairs.”

  Rex took a seat as Thor took out his file.

  Thor noticed that Rex had bought new shorts; they weren’t quite as loud as the last pair and hopefully he could bend over in them this time. He looked nervous though. “What made you book your own session? I thought you weren’t that keen.”

  “Well I wasn’t,” said Rex, “this was all Callum’s idea, but I actually quite enjoyed the last session and I realised how unfit I was. And, to be honest, I want to try and keep my wife.”

  “And you think training will help?”

  “Well, she thinks it’s helping her and she’s lost weight. She’s doing it because she wants to divorce me and find someone else.”

  “And do you want a divorce?”

  “No, course I don’t,” replied Rex.

  “And have you told her that?”

  “Well sort of, but she’s just ignoring me.”

  “What do you mean, sort of? Have you sat down and talked about it?” asked Thor, knowing full well that Rex wasn’t the kind of guy to want to indulge in a serious conversation. He was the type of bloke who would just try and laugh it off and hope that everything would just sort itself out.

  “It’s difficult when she doesn’t want to speak to me other than take the piss,” laughed Rex. “But we’ve had a bit more chat the last few days; our daughter’s been home so we’ve been eating together so she’s had to speak to me. She even smiled at me this morning so there’s hope. Christ, I haven’t had a drink since our last session and I’ve even turned fucking vegan. You’d think she’d notice that I’m making a bloody effort.”

  “Well that’s obviously a start, I just think you’ve got to sit her down and tell her how you feel; don’t be a smart arse, just tell her you don’t want a divorce. You could also come clean about training with me, then you’d have something in common.”

  Rex grinned. “Oh she knows already, she doesn’t miss much. She knows I’m lying.”

  “Well stop bloody lying and just tell the truth, man,” said Thor. “What’s the point? She’s not lying, is she?”

  “I don’t know, she could be. She says she’s not having an affair, but she could be. How would I know?’

  “Well she’s not having an affair with me, mate, let’s get that clear. I never mix business with pleasure. Too bloody risky. If she is having an affair, it’s not with me.”

  “Right,” replied Rex, slightly embarrassed.

  “And I’m not having an affair with Maggie, either, so I would be grateful if you could pass that on too. That’s all I’m going to say. Right, let’s get down to business,” said Thor, standing up. “We’ll go to the gym, set up a programme for you to do by yourself and then, next week, we’ll get outside and do some serious training. If you want to turn yourself into Brad Pitt you’re going to have to put some effort into it.”

  Rex stood up. Thor was a good bloke. Callum was wrong. He’d put him right after the session. He didn’t want a divorce, he wanted to save his marriage. He held out his hand for Thor to shake.

  “Thanks, mate,” said Rex. “Appreciate it.”

  And as he followed Thor to the gym, Rex felt a little different. Hopefully it wasn’t too late. She had smiled at him this morning, she’d even found him funny. Maybe there was a spark left. He just needed to find a way to relight the fire.

  CHAPTER 52

  Maggie, alone in the kitchen once again, checked the clock. It was five-thirty. The stable hands had gone home and Mrs Ogilvy had left early. She had a sixtieth birthday party to go to which Maggie had heard every detail about for weeks and she was under no illusion that she’d hear the post-party analysis over the next few weeks too. Mrs O had made the cake, her niece was doing her hair and nails and her daughter had bought her a new dress. Maggie had never seen anyone so excited about a night out. Mrs O obviously didn’t get out much. Mrs O was also very pleased with the cake. Her cousin loved Rod Stewart so she’d made a wee Rod out of marzipan. He had tartan trews. She’d promised to bring Maggie a piece on Monday. Maggie smiled to herself. Even Mrs O was out tonight. Maggie hadn’t been out since the girls’ weekend. At least she had next weekend to look forward to.

  Maggie checked her phone. She didn’t expect to hear from Callum but it annoyed her that he didn’t even have the courtesy to let her know that he wouldn’t be home for dinner. She wondered why she was still bothering to feed him at all, but in a funny sort of way she knew that by keeping some semblance of normality, she could keep control of the situation. She still needed time to work things out, she needed to make sure that she was going to be financially secure and have a decent roof over her head and she knew that time was running out. Callum was probably planning his exit strategy too; she doubted he could hold out much longer. Maggie sighed. There would be so much to work out and she was desperate to spare the children from the fallout. She didn’t want a messy divorce, but when Callum realised that Myles Cavendish was involved, she fully expected negotiations to go downhill. Thinking about Myles, she called him but it went to answerphone. She wouldn’t leave a message, she’d text him later. It was Saturday evening, he was probably out too. Annoyingly, Rachael was also going out; Rex had offered to take her to dinner. Rachael was sceptical, but she’d decided to give it a go. Rex seemed to be trying and Maggie thought Rachael should give him a chance.

  It was a nice evening, maybe she should make the most of it before it got dark. If Callum wanted dinner now, he could get it himself. Calling the dogs, Maggie pulled on her boots and set off over the fields. Hopefully next weekend would be a bit more exciting. It couldn’t possibly be any worse.

  * * *

  Having showered and moisturised, Rachael wrapped herself in her white towelling robe and tied a small towel around her wet hair. She hadn’t planned on washing it but she’d decided to make a bit of an effort. Amazingly, Rex had booked a really nice restaurant this evening and, surprising herself by accepting his invitation, Rachael was now feeling a little confused. This hadn’t been the plan. This had been nothing like the plan. The plan had been to finally extricate herself from her marriage and hopefully move on to better things. She hadn’t anticipated giving him another chance; he’d already had too many. Walking through to her bedroom, Rachael sat on her bed and looked at herself in the full-length mirrored wardrobe. Removing the towel, she shook her head and ruffled her hair. She liked it. Messy and free. She wished it would stay like that but she knew it wouldn’t. As usual, it would take a lot of product and a decent amount of t
ime to get it to resemble something stylish. She wondered why she bothered. Her mother had never bothered at her age, but then her mother hadn’t been bothered with very much; she’d been grey at forty-five. Rachael was different. She had no intention of being grey at any age. Standing up, she opened her underwear drawer. She hadn’t thought about underwear since the girls’ weekend and there certainly hadn’t been any call to wear anything sexually alluring for a while now. Did she plan on sleeping with Rex tonight? She didn’t really know. The fact that she was thinking about it though was probably an obvious sign. Rachael picked out a matching bra and knickers. Maybe red was too suggestive, but she’d brought them in the sale with her staff discount and she hadn’t worn them yet. Rex probably wouldn’t even notice, he’d just be desperate to get them off. She still wasn’t sure. It was ages since they’d slept together. Rachael closed the drawer and removed the labels. They had the whole evening to get through yet and, quite frankly, there were plenty of things that could go wrong. Rex was a loose cannon. With Rex, nothing was guaranteed.

  * * *

  Downstairs in the kitchen, Rex, with the help of Amy, was preparing a few nibbles. Thor had told him to make some effort, given him a few tips and Rex had called Amy. Amy had messaged him a shopping list and he’d actually managed to get everything. He was quite pleased with himself.

  “Do you want a glass of champagne, pet?” asked Rex, opening the cupboard and taking out a couple of glasses.

  “Well yes please, if there’s enough,” replied Amy, “although I don’t want to get in the way of romance.” She winked at him.

  Rex laughed as he took out another glass. “Don’t worry, there’s plenty. We don’t want to come out of the traps too early, we need to pace ourselves. I don’t want to get plastered, I might be on a promise.”

  “Sorry, Dad, that’s too much information. Romance is one thing, sex is another.”

  “Are you two talking about sex?” interrupted Rachael. “Oh lovely, is that champagne?”