Susan

by Patricia Pacjac Carroll

  Susan set the plates. “Laine, are you traveling with your parents?”

  “They’re dead. I’m with my stepfather and his son. They won’t miss me, though.” He smiled at her.

  Ed ushered the boy to the pail. “Sit down. We’ll eat in a few minutes.” He went to Susan. “Anything I can help with?”

  “Could have started the fire.” She dared him to question her.

  “Sorry, I had to ask Laine’s stepfather. Smells good.”

  Susan stared at him. Ed had changed. He was almost likable. Almost nice.

  ***

  Ed took a cup of water to the boy and one for himself and sat on the log. “Susan is a great cook. Anna, too.”

  Susan filled Laine’s plate first and set it in front of him. “We’re glad to have you, Laine.”

  The boy grabbed his fork and dug in.

  Ed nudged him. “Wait until the others have theirs. Then they say grace.”

  Laine nodded and set his fork down. His dark eyes darted around the table. But he relaxed as the others sat and waited. No one was making a fuss or yelling at him.

  Ed breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t sure what he was doing or why. But he’d felt like the boy needed a friend.

  “Laine, where are you from?” Anna smiled at him.

  Cheeks red, the boy looked at her. “Missouri near Joplin. That’s where me and my pa had lived. He died.”

  The folks around the table grew quiet. Ed took the salt and handed it to him. “I think most of us have had a death in the family. We’re all on the wagon train to find a new life.”

  Susan nodded. “Ed is right. Hard times often move people to search for something better.”

  “My stepfather doesn’t like me. Beats me some.” Laine stuffed a piece of biscuit in his mouth, not caring what he’d said as if he’d recorded the weather.

  Ed buttered another biscuit and handed it to him. “I had my share of licks. My father used to get the biggest switch he could find and whack me from here to kingdom come. Never laid a hand on my brother.”

  Laine stared at him. “Then you know what it’s like.”

  Ed stared at the boy and saw his younger dark eyes searching his out. Ed nodded. “Yeah, I do. I left home and made a mess out of my life. I plan to undo some of that on this trip.”

  Susan glanced at him, and she looked at him with a softened expression. Usually, when she stared at him, it was with hard judgment.

  Laine washed the biscuit down with a sip of water. “I was thinking of riding off. Going on ahead.”

  Ed grinned. “I could tell. I wouldn’t do it if I were you. You’re maybe a year too old for the Indians to take you in and make you one of their own. Likely they’d scalp you or worse.”

  “Worse?”

  “Don’t ask.” Ed handed him another helping of stew. “Eat up.” He glanced at Susan. She was watching them. He could see that she was wondering why he’d brought the kid to eat with them. Ed hadn’t known until this very minute.

  “I was thinking, Laine. If your stepfather says it’s all right, maybe you could help me out with this wagon. Stay over here with us.”

  Laine’s eyes brightened. “You think so?” Hope sounded in the boy’s words.

  Ed nodded. “John could use help getting the oxen in the morning. Susan could use help getting the firewood and buffalo chips later on. And I could use a hand to ride with me. Sam likes to send me out time to time to scout a little way out. Plus, we can hunt. Susan can cook prairie chicken and whatever else we find.”

  Susan smiled. “That sounds wonderful.”

  Ed grinned at her and liked the way she was looking at him. Yeah, he’d spent most of his life in trouble, but maybe he could change and help the boy at the same time.

  Chapter 8

  Susan waited the next day for their turn on the ferry. Ed had asked Laine’s stepfather, and the man had almost shoved Laine onto Ed. “Take him and don’t bring him back.” The man had said.

  Her heart went out to the boy, but Laine seemed as happy to be rid of the man as he was of Laine. And Ed the happiest of all.

  She’d asked if Laine knew how to swim. The boy didn’t, and she could see it bothered Ed. “When we get to a calm river or pond, I’ll teach you. Everyone should know how to swim.” She wasn’t about to tell the boy about her sister, but the fear of losing someone else scared Susan.

  About half the wagons were over on the other side now, and their group was coming up next. John had the oxen yoked and ready to take the wagon to the ferry. Laine was on his horse following Ed.

  She almost said he should get down when Ed turned and dismounted. “We’ll ride the ferry.”

  “I don’t have the money.” Laine shrugged.

  Ed nodded. “I have plenty. I’ll pay for yours too.”

  “I’ll pay you back.”

  Ed caught the boy by the shoulders. “No, you’ll earn it. Right now, we’ll help get this wagon on the ferry. It’s going to be a tight fit, so stay close to me. Our horses and Susan will go on the next ferry.

  Laine stayed right next to him. With great persuasion and taps with the driving sticks, they got the oxen and wagon loaded onto the ferry. Ed told Laine to hold onto the wagon wheel, and then he put blocks around the wheels and checked to see the brake was set.

  John stood by the lead ox and nervously looked around. “I can’t swim.”

  Ed hollered to him. “Hold on. We’ll be across in a few minutes.”

  Soon the oxen across the river pulled the rope tight, and the ferry moved out into the river. Waves beat against the barge, shoving it sidewise. Water lapped over the edge and got their feet wet.

  John looked nervous.

  Ed made his way to the lead oxen nearest him and held the beasts’ horns. “John, hold onto Red. He looks nervous.”

  The big ox tossed his head and bellowed. John hung on, but after another bellow, Big Red shoved John back, and he fell off the ferry.

  John went under, came back up but was flailing in the strong current. He went down again and then bobbed up like a cork splashing and crying out for help.

  Ed dove into the water and swam toward him. At first, the river tore John away from his grasp. Ed yelled at John to kick and grab his hand. But John was frantic, beating the water and choking.

  Ed struggled to reach him, and finally, his hand met the man’s shirt. Ed pulled and John, climbed on top of him. Ed slugged him, knocking him senseless and towed him to shore. Finally, he pulled John to dry land.

  Susan ran over to him and knelt to help John.

  The man coughed but finally sat up. “Thanks, Ed, you saved me.”

  Ed didn’t hear him, he was watching. Laine was on the ferry alone with the wagon and oxen. But the boy had moved up and had the lead ox by the horn just the way Ed had held him.

  With a grin, Ed waved.

  The boy nodded just as the ferry reached the banks. Sam helped Laine off and onto the shore. He pointed for him to go up the hill and out of the way. Laine did as he was told, and Ed breathed a sigh of relief.

  John coughed and shook the water from his head. “Thanks, Ed. I owe you.”

  Ed nodded. “You’d have done it for me.”

  “I Can’t swim.”

  Ed grinned at the man. “Then, you’ll be taking swimming lessons with Laine.”

  ***

  Susan had stared in shock when John had fallen overboard, and then Ed dove in to save him. She could have lost them both. Not that she was married to either one. She thanked the Lord that they were all right. One of them would be her husband.

  Yes, that’s what she’d said to Sam to secure a place on the wagon train. And she knew down deep that she would honor her word. For a brief moment, she shuddered to think that Ed would have gotten her by default if John had drowned.

  Then Ed had dived in the water and saved his rival. That gave Ed a few points. She turned to Anna and excused herself. Seeing them on her side of the river, she went to see how they were.

  Susan ran
to the bank of the river. “Are you two all right?”

  Ed looked up at her with a wry grin. “We’re fine.” His eyes questioned her. Almost as if he could read her mind.

  Shaking, she knelt beside John. “You’re not hurt?”

  Shaking his head, John laughed. “Not at all. I didn’t even swallow too much water, Ed got to me so fast.” He stared at Ed. “You could have let me go, and you’d have won Susan’s hand in marriage.”

  Ed walked to him and held a hand to help him up. “When she agrees to be my wife, it will be because she wants to.”

  John took his hand and stood. “I like that about you, Ed. You’re a fair fighter.” John turned to her. “I wonder what you thought?”

  Susan stepped back. “What does that mean? I was concerned. I don’t want anyone to be hurt.”

  John nodded. “I’m fine.” He brushed past her and went to the ferry.

  Ed shook his head. “Come on. We’ll ride the ferry over with the horses. I don’t suppose you can swim?”

  “I’m an expert swimmer.” She stared at him. Locking her gaze with his and forcing him to look away. Sometimes he made her so angry. Yes, John was right. Ed was a fighter. She hung back with John and watched Ed walk to the ferry and followed him.

  Ed was so smug. What did he think he was doing when he rescued John? Did he do it to impress her? Well, he hadn’t. Arrogant man. She and John followed Ed and stepped on the ferry. Susan made a point to stay far from Ed while John stayed beside her.

  Susan smiled at John. “I hope you’re not too cold?”

  “Not at all. The sun is warm.” He grinned. “Rather refreshing.” He smiled at her.

  Susan laughed. “Does nothing bother you?”

  John’s smile faded. “A few things, but not when you’re around.” A brisk wind blew over them as they were being ferried across the river. He shivered as a cloud passed overhead. “I’ll be glad to get into some dry clothes.”

  She looked at him. “There are some of Dan’s clothes in the wagon. I can get you some if you’d like.”

  “That would be great. It’s a little cooler than I thought.” He smiled at her. “You’re a very thoughtful woman. I like that about you.”

  Susan’s cheeks grew warm, and she dropped her gaze. The ferry lurched, throwing her against John.

  He put his arms around her and held her. “I like that, too.”

  Hurriedly, she pulled away from him. “John, please. Not in front of everyone.”

  “You mean not in front of Ed? There’ll be a day when you’re going to have to make a choice.”

  “I know that. Don’t forget that I have six months to decide.” She smoothed her skirt and tucked in a stray curl. Embarrassed by John’s forward nature yet wondering if he was right about her reasons.

  That first day, she would have married John and had no intention of giving Ed a look. But lately, she’d begun to consider Ed. He did have a few good qualities. Taking in Laine was the most surprising. Now, he’d just saved John.

  Ed could have solved his troubles right then and there. He didn’t have to dive in to save John. Many wouldn’t. But he didn’t even hesitate. Was it because he was a fighter? She wondered.

  John was not a fighter. A soft soul that only wanted to live and enjoy life. What kind of husband would he make? Could he even be a farmer? They were going to Oregon to get the free land. Would John be able to keep his?

  Yet, he was so fun to be around. At times, John could make her feel as if she were the only one on earth. And the stories he told, she could listen to him for hours.

  Ed was quiet. She bet John and Ed hadn’t said more than a dozen pleasant words to one another. Most of the time, they threw barbs at one another. Challenging each other. Sooner or later, she’d have to choose. But right now, she just wasn’t sure at all. She needed more time to see their character. See which one would make the best husband. Perhaps, see which one she could love.

  ***

  John was cold, all right. Not just from the water and wet clothes. Susan left him feeling less than wanted. Oh, she was pleasant enough to him. Even liked him, he could tell. But when she was with Ed, John could see there was an excitement between them that was missing with him.

  Maybe it was dislike or hate, but whatever it was, John wished he had it too. When Ed was with her, it was like her face lit up. Even when they were arguing. But when Susan was with him, she was comfortable. As if they were brother and sister. Not unlike Nick and Anna.

  He needed to court Susan. Let her know how much he cared about her. He stepped off the ferry and ran toward the wagons. The sooner he changed, the better. He sure didn’t need to catch a cold and look any weaker up against Ed.

  He’d just reached the wagon when he heard Susan laugh. She was right behind him and telling Anna about his ordeal. Ed walked past him and clapped Laine on the back.

  “You did fine getting the wagon up the hill and out of the way.”

  The boy beamed. “Yes, sir. Even Sam said I did a good job.”

  The two of them walked away.

  John was alone. Wet and cold. His thoughts clung to him like soaked clothes. Alone. Always alone. Ed, the dark stranger, had the boy. Susan had Anna. Likable John Burke was alone like always.

  He waited for Susan and hoped she’d hurry. He didn’t want to interrupt her and get in her way. He rubbed his arms. All his life, he’d felt the same way. Don’t bother others. Stay in the shadows and keep quiet.

  Oh, at times, he could be the life of the party and make people laugh. He always wanted to please others. And when he made people feel good, that was when John felt alive. But how could he make a living and take care of Susan by being the life of the party?

  Susan came to the wagon and put a hand on his shoulder. “Oh, you are cold.” She undid the tailgate and pulled down the step and climbed inside. Within minutes, she came outside with a new shirt and trousers.

  She handed them to him. “You and Dan were about the same size. These should fit.” She laughed and ran back inside the wagon and came out with a pair of socks and shoes. “Here you go. These shoes look better than the ones you have.”

  John took them and smiled. “Thanks. I’ll pay you back.”

  “Dan would have wanted you to have them. I doubt they’d have fit Ed.”

  There’d been no put down in the way she’d said it. Still, John felt inadequate taking Dan’s clothes. But after looking at his own, she was right. He’d look better. His right boot had a hole in it. His left was missing the heel. “Thanks.” He took the clothes and walked to the cover of the brush on the other side of the wagons.

  After he changed, he looked at his old clothes, the best he owned, and threw them away, shoes and all. Susan was right, the clothes wouldn’t fit Ed. The man was taller and more muscular. John brushed off a fly and walked back to the wagon.

  Susan saw him and smiled. “You look great. Just like they were made for you. And the shoes?”

  “Perfect fit.”

  She smiled. “Imagine that. Almost as if it were meant to be.” She closed the tailgate and secured it. “Sam said we’d camp here for the night. It looks like we should be able to find some wood for fires.

  John caught her as she stumbled over a rock. “Don’t hurt yourself.” Touching her, holding her lit fires inside him. He wondered if she felt anything.

  She looked at him and righted herself. “Thank you. I can be so clumsy.” Her hand rested on his arm.

  Just at that moment, a ray of sunshine slipped through the trees and shone on her and lit her hair like a golden flame while her green eyes brightened. John felt his heart skip. He was falling for her. Never had he felt this way about any woman.

  Of course, he’d never known a decent woman who was of marrying caliber. But Susan, she was special. Beautiful in every way. And at that golden moment, John wanted nothing more than to please her and take care of her. He’d do anything for her.

  Chapter 9

  Ed stared at the wagons slowly making the ben
d around the landscape. Tonight, they were bedding down in the sight of Scott’s Bluff. Before 1851 the wagons had to go south until the army made Mitchell’s Pass.

  Ruts in the prairie showed the way that so many travelers had journeyed before. The scouts spent their time checking rivers and crossings, watching for Indian trouble, and other wagon trains that might slow down the progress.

  Ed and Laine had taken to riding with Sam and looking ahead for him. Ed enjoyed the kid’s company and the fact that Laine never asked to go back to his stepfather. Ed was getting used to having him around and happy that he saw the boy changing.

  It made Ed feel good. For once in his life, he was having a good influence on someone. Looking beyond himself and caring for the boy had changed Ed’s life, too. At least for now. He had to admit his track record wasn’t very good.

  Then there was Susan. He didn’t know what to think about her. At times, he caught her watching him but could never tell if it was with caution and wariness or interest. She was pretty and would make any man proud.

  But she never told him what she wanted. What she was looking for in life. He got the feeling that although she’d stayed put at her home, she’d never put down roots and was as loose as he’d been.

  No talk of a past love. No man she’d had an interest in. Yes, she signed on to be a mail order bride for his brother. But they’d only written a handful of letters. Who was she? Did she even know?

  Why he would be so concerned bothered him. It wasn’t like he knew what he wanted out of life either. He’d roamed the country, not even looking for anything. Just moving. Really not caring about anyone until he’d ridden up the hill and met Laine.

  The kid had latched onto him as if he were drowning in a sea of apathy. It was clear the stepfather didn’t care about him. His parents were dead. His stepbrother was scared of him. Which said more than Ed wanted to know about Laine.

  But he understood. When you feel like no one cares, sometimes the only thing you can do is strike out at others to get a reaction. Even if it was anger at least it the response told you that you were still alive. Well, he’d be that for Laine. He didn’t want the kid to go through what he had in his wild years.