by R. S James
“What the fuck do you mean? If you hurt her, I’ll end you.”
“I didn’t do a fucking thing, except what she asked me to do, which was to read the text from her phone, while she was in the shower. It was your fucking father.”
“Did he want money again? That fucking douchebag.”
“You fucking knew and didn’t say anything to me. What the actual fuck. I feel like neither of you need or want me around.”
“Dude, chill. I only know, because the last time he messaged her she told him she had to talk to you about it, and he blew up on her, and then texted me asking.”
That’s the last thing I hear, before I hang up the phone and look to see I have no messages nor missed calls. Driving around, I feel like I’m missing something here. Shaking the feeling off, I go to the lake. Getting out, I go sit at a picnic table and just watch the water. After about an hour, I realize I jumped the gun. Really, I don’t know if she even gave him money or paid his bills for him. Going back to the truck, I see I have about fifteen missed calls and text messages, but none from Carly.
Going to our bank app, I sign in and look to see if she has ever withdrawn the money to send him any, or if she paid his bill online, and I see nothing at all. Now, I’m at the end of a double-edged sword. Part of me is so happy, but the other part of me, is still pissed she didn’t say anything to me about it. Feeling my phone vibrate once again, I see it’s Carson, and I’m not sure I’m ready to talk yet, so I send it to voicemail. I immediately get a text from him.
“Carly has been cut, and she is in the Emergency room, waiting to see when she goes back to surgery. Get your head outta your ass and get here.”
Throwing the phone to the side, I get in and turn the key over and floor it out of there and to the hospital. Looking left to right, I finally see Carson sitting there, and I rush over to him. When his eyes meet mine, I know I’m too late.
“She just went back. Here she wanted me to give this to you.” It’s the matching heart and key to mine. I got a tattoo, and she got a necklace. I can feel the tears well up in my eyes, when I raise my eyes back to Carson, he is holding out a phone. Reaching for it with shaking hands, opening the phone from the lock screen, and I see a picture of Carly and I kissing.
I see she texted out a message to me.
“X, if your reading this, then I’m in the operating room. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the first time he texted or called asking for money. I take full responsibility for that. However, I I won’t be treated the way you did today. You didn’t even trust me, and you just flew off the handle with what you thought was right. You hurt me deeply, when you just walked away. You know that is what my dad did, and how it hurt me, and yet, you still did it. I feel like we need a break, because one you don’t trust me, and I refuse to be in a relationship without trust. Two, I need someone who won’t walk out without talking to me first. I mean, if you would have given me two fucking seconds you would have known everything but nope not you. You just take off like I’m nobody. Honestly, I think that is what hurts the most is that you can walk away so easily . You hurt me deeply, and I don’t know how to work through this with you without giving up on myself. I’m sorry I make it so easy to walk in and out of my life. But thank you for helping me realize what I can and cannot live with in a relationship. I won’t keep you from Carson or anyone else in the family. Just please give me some time to heal my heart. I love you, and I know that won’t change overnight or ever, but for me I need to try. Goodbye.”
Sitting down next to Carson, I put my arms on my legs and my head in my hands. “Dude, I told you not to walk away, and it would only lead to trouble. You know how much trust means to us, but especially Carly.”
“Hey, guys. We got here as soon as we could. How is she? What the hell happened?”
“Hey, Mom. Maddox, she went into work, and there were two guys who were in a bar fight, and they were separated. Well, one of them had a knife, and our hero Carly stepped between them, and he was swinging, and he got her twice. She kept at him, until the cops got here and put him in cuffs. He was crying how sorry he was to cut her, and he didn’t mean to, but it was too late. They said she didn’t know she was cut, until the on-call doctor told her to go into a room and sit down, so he could look at her arm. The first cut was about six inches across and, the second was three both on her forearm.” Carson tells everyone. Finally having enough, I stand up and turn to Claire, “This is all my fault. This morning while she was in the shower her phone went off, and she asked me to see who it was, and what they said. It was Colton, and he wanted money to pay his electric bill. I was furious. I mean, why hasn’t she told me this. Why would she give him our money? I mean, I know he knows my family has money, but that’s not mine. I work hard for my money, and she’s out giving it to him! Well, anyway I got pissed and left. I went to the lake and just watched the waves. I won’t lie. I went and looked at our bank to see if she had given him money or paid his bills, and she hasn’t given him anything nor paid any of his bills. Then, I got the text from Carson, and I rushed here for him to give me this.” Showing her the necklace and handing her the phone, I turn and walk to the cafeteria. Just to have a few minutes to myself to figure out how in the hell I’m going to, or if I can fix this shit. After what feels like forever, Carson comes in and says, “Come on, she is out and in recovery. It barely missed the artery and nicked the bone, and they put a plate in and some screws. She is okay.”
“Does she know I’m here?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her. I talked to the doctor, then I came to get you. Mom was going to see her, when I came to get you, so I’m sure she told her.”
“I need you to know I’m not giving up.”
“I know, bro, I know; it isn’t going to be easy, but you two will figure it out.”
Going in her room, she is groggy, but alert enough to know who we all are, and she’s asks me to bring her up some different clothes that she can wear home. Walking to her, I brush my lips on her forehead, and then her lips and whisper, “I don’t accept this. We aren’t over. I love you, and I’ll be back.” Laying the necklace down in her hand, I walk out of the room and out of the hospital. I know this is going to be rough, because she is stubborn, and so am I. Going home, I grab her a pair of yoga pants, a tee shirt, hair brush, tooth brush and body lotion putting it all in a bag I head back to the hospital. She is still in the room, and this time she’s by herself. “Hey, babe. Do you want or need help changing?”
“No, I think I’ll be okay.” Getting up slowly, she goes to the bathroom and sits down on the toilet, slowly putting her panties on, and her yoga pants still sitting down, as she takes the gown off and puts her injured arm in followed by her other arm and head. Once that is on, she stands up and slowly pulls her pants and panties up. Coming out after she brushes her teeth, she sits back in the bed. I know she is thinking, and I have a sinking feeling I’m not going to like what she has to say. “Before you say anything, please know I’m sorry for how I reacted and what I said. I love you.”
“Xavier, I know you love me, and I love you. You also know how important it is to me for us to have absolute trust. Because without trust we have nothing. I’m sorry for what you read and what you think I have done. You couldn’t be farther from the truth. I have not now nor ever given him money, nor have I paid his bills. I have never touched any of your money for anything all the bills get paid out of my own account. I don’t touch the joint account, and I don’t feel like I have the right, since it is your money that goes in there.” Putting her hand up to stop me, “Yes, I have a portion of my check deposited in there, but that isn’t for bills that is for us. I wish I would have told you that he was asking for money, but do you know how humiliating it is to say your father is begging you for money, because he can’t pay his bill. Not because he’s working, but because he spends it on whores and alcohol? Do you know how humiliating it is to think or to know your boyfriend doesn’t trust you? I know you love me, and I love you, but
do you trust me? Don’t answer me. I think we need to take a break for a while. I need someone who is all in. I have to have it all or nothing.” Getting up, she slowly walks out, and I just sit there.
Carly Present
The next morning, I have the feeling of being watched, and opening my eyes, I come eye to eye with Caitlynn. “Carly, why was you crying yesterday? Who was that guy in Momma’s room?”
“Babe, let me up.” Getting up, I use the bathroom than take Caitlynn to the kitchen “I was crying, because I had to do the right thing, and it hurt my heart. The guy is my dad.”
“If it hurts your heart, why did you do it?”
“I had to do it because it is the right thing to do. Sometimes, the right thing is also the hardest thing to do.”
“Why did you have to do it? And what did you have to do?”
“Caitlynn, you know that when you do something naughty, you’re going to be in trouble right?
“Yup!”
“So, you decide on rather to do good things or bad things. If you do good things, you get rewarded, and if you do bad things, you get in trouble.”
“Yeah, good things I can come stay with you, and bad things I have to stay in my room.”
“Okay, my dad made some choices that hurt my heart, and I had to tell him.”
“Did you put him in time out?”
“No, he has to sleep with himself.”
“You sleep with Xavier, and Mommy and Daddy sleep together. I sleep with my babies sometimes.”
“No, Caitlynn. When you do something wrong, and you know it’s wrong you tell mom, right?”
“Yes, because I have to tell the truth.”
“Right, well if you don’t tell the truth how do you feel?”
“Bad, and I don’t like it.”
“Your pretty smart for a little lady!”
“I know just like my favorite big sister.”
“Want to cook for Xavier?”
“Carly, I have to tell you something.”
“Okay what’s up, babe?”
“Promise you won’t be mad?”
I promise, what’s up?”
“I love Xavier and want to keep him forever.”
“Sweet girl, I know you love him, and he loves you also, but he’s my boyfriend, so you can’t keep him.”
“But you’re not married, so I could keep him.”
“She’s right ya know!”
I turn towards Xavier’s voice, “What is this? “Gang up on Carly today?”
“Nope, but the idea appeals to me, so let’s go get married today and keep each other forever!”
“Okay, I’ll marry you today and every day for the rest of my life.” I lean over to kiss him, only to be interrupted by Caitlynn, reminding me she is “starbing.” We eat pancakes and head to the hospital where mom is and have our friend from the hospital marry us in Mom’s room with only mom, Maddox, Carson, Caitlynn, me, and Xavier there. Mom is my witness, and Carson is Xavier’s. I wear a white sun dress with yellow flowers on it, and Xavier wears tan shorts and a white polo shirt. Our wedding night is unlike any other! We have Caitlynn, so we order pizza and get a movie! I wouldn’t change it if I had to.
I have finally graduated, and I’m now Dr. Carly Allen, MD.
It’s been about a month, since I became Mrs. Xavier Allen! Today, I start working in my office, and I’ll be splitting my time between being on call and office hours. I meet my first patient and fell in love. Phillip is a 58-year-old man with the heart of gold. He’s the type of man that you know would make the perfect father. I think maybe that is why he and I have such a connection. His daughter was killed years ago by a drunk driver, and his wife couldn’t deal with the loss and he lost her as well. He and I talked a little about my dad and my relationship, and he told me I need to forgive him not for him, but for me. I’m not sure I’m able or ready to do that yet. I haven’t even told him I married Xavier yet. I haven’t talked to him, since the day he showed up in Mom’s hospital room, after she had surgery. I haven’t really thought about him or the choices he has made. I kind of feel like I’m being punished for his dumb decisions. Although I know Phillip is right, and I must forgive him to set myself free. I guess, I’ll have to face the music this weekend. Maybe, we can stop in and see Xavier’s family as well, while we are up there. Phillip is good to go however I must see him again in three months to check on his medicine.
Friday has finally come, and I leave the office at noon, so we can make the trip to see my dad and Xavier’s family. Getting home, I grab a quick shower, and we are ready to roll. I told mom what we were doing, and I was shocked that she was supportive of us going, and me forgiving dad for myself. I didn’t even tell him I was coming. I just want to go and see him and get everything out and in the open. I hope I can make him understand my feelings, if not I guess all I can say is I tried. Xavier and I leave and start our trip. Caitlynn wanted to come, but I need to do this by myself. Xavier is driving today because I feel like I’m heading into war. He must sense my inner turmoil, as he reaches over and takes my hand in his, and tells me, “Everything will be okay. I will be with you the whole time, I promise. And just so you know, when we have kids, I will never treat them this way. That is a promise to you.”
We stop for the night, and I go in to take a long hot bath. When I come out, I’m completely stunned, as the only light in the room is from the candles. There are yellow and white rose petals everywhere. I do a slow circle to finally see my heart, standing by the balcony doorway with his shoulder propped watching me. My feet start walking towards him with no impute from my head. Once I reach him, I wrap my arms around him and just breathe him in. He holds me tightly for a minute, and then pulls my head back and tells me, “This is our wedding night, and the one we had was perfect, but I want to give you everything.” His lips slowly come to mine. It’s not a kiss, but he’s making love to my mouth. Sliding his hands down, he grabs my ass and lifts me up. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I moan, “Please, I need you now, babe.”
Shaking his head, no he says, “We are only getting one wedding night, and we are going to do it right. I’m going to taste every single inch of your body, before I give you what you want.” My towel is gone, and I’m on the bed and he is doing exactly what he said and tasting me. He starts at my hair line and works his way to my eyes, my nose finally, and my lips. I get lost in this kiss. However, before I get to lost, he moves onto my chin, my neck, my shoulders, and down my arms, and then to each finger. Back up my arms and down my chest to my achy breast. He goes around and around, kissing every part of my breast, until he finally gets to my nipple, and then it’s just a quick little peck on it, before he moves on. Down each rib and my stomach, before he gets to my center, as he looks up at me and winks, and then goes to my legs and kisses my right leg all the way down. My knee, my ankle, my feet, and each toe. Repeating the process on the left side, before he goes back to my center, and he barley touches me and sends me over the edge. He is watching me and doesn’t expect me to push him over. He looks shocked, until I bend to his face and tell him, “Babe, it’s my turn to do that to you!”
Shaking his head, “Babe, I don’t think I can handle that.”
With a smirk playing on my lips, “Sorry, babe I had to, so you can as well I promise it will be worth it.”
I follow the same path he did, until I get to his cock, and it is begging me to take a lick, so I do. He moans and groans, so I suck him deep in my mouth and he comes in my mouth. I finish my journey of his body, and when I get back to his cock, it’s rock hard again. I give him a proper blow job and swallow every drop once again. He picks me up and lays me on the bed under him. Holding my face in his hands, he says to me, “I promise to always be honest, even if I know it will hurt you. I promise to always be your best friend, your partner in crime, and your everything. I will never leave you, like your dad did. I will always put you first. Most importantly, I will always love you.”
With tears roll
ing down my face, I grab his face, “I promise to always be honest, even if I know it will hurt you. I promise to always be your best friend, your partner in crime, and your everything. I promise to give you babies. I promise to always put you first. Most importantly, I promise to always love you.”
Sealing our mouths together, as our bodies join. Our eyes are locked on each other’s, as I feel everything he is feeling, and it is the most incredible feeling in the world. Our love making is slow and passionate. When my release hits me, I see colors. His orgasm hits, as soon as mine does, and I see the pleasure in his eyes. He collapses on me, and our breathing evens out. I start thinking. He must feel me tense up because he rolls to the side and takes my face in his hands and looks directly into my eyes and whispers to me, “No. Tonight, we are not thinking. We are just Mr. & Mrs. Xavier Allen, and this is our wedding night. Tomorrow, we will deal with the real world, but tonight, is just you and I.”
“Okay, your right. I love you.” I think to myself about the news I found out. However, I’m worried I’ll lose it again, so I will keep this to myself for a little while. We just lay together, wrapped around each other, telling each other our dreams for the future. We are both quiet for a little while, when I roll over and look directly into his eyes and tell him, “Babe, I’m so scared that I’m going to go tomorrow, and he isn’t going to care. He’s going to tell me I’m not good enough or something, and I’m going to be shattered all over again. What if I’m not strong enough? What if this is nothing but a mistake? Oh, my goodness what have I done? I should have thought this through more. I-.”
I’m cut off when his mouth crashes into mine. This kiss is deep and demanding. When he lifts his head, he looks at me and says, “Baby, you are more than “enough,” and if he decides that he doesn’t want a relationship or anything with you, well you still have Maddox and more importantly you have me. If this shatters you, which I don’t think it will, you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, and I’ll be there to help pick up the pieces. I love you.” He shifts and pulls my back to his front and kisses my ear and tells me, “Good night, Mrs. Allen.”
