Unequivocally His in Lockdown

by Meg MacRose

  “You haven’t explained why Tansy, of all people, is at your home…”

  “Nor does he need to.” His father appeared next to his mother, reprimanding his wife.

  “Hi Dad,” Jake responded in relief. At least there was one person in his family who wasn’t hell bent on sticking their nose in.

  “Well, I think he needs to explain. She was never an appropriate friend for Steven. One must ask why she’s suddenly friends with Jake as soon as Steven is married.”

  For fuck’s sake. The words almost erupted out of his mouth. Except he was also guilty of asking the same question not a day ago.

  “What are yo u saying Mother?” Steven’s scowl came up on the screen. “Tansy is one of the most kind-hearted and friendly persons who I have ever met. She has also been there for me as my friend for many years. I’d thank you to show her some respect, please.”

  Jake was ready to turn his laptop off. This was going from bad to worse. Life in lockdown was far simpler when it had just been the two of them.

  “And Jake, promise me you’ll treat her well. She doesn’t deserve your ridicule or whatever it is that turns you on.”

  Jake remained silent. He didn’t dare speak. He could list many things about Tansy that turned him on, but none were suited for his family’s ears.

  “Steven. Jake. Can we please return to the reason we have hooked up in the first place?” His father’s voice thundered as his face reappeared. “Deidre, Ella, please leave us to complete our meeting. Ella dear, lovely to see you. But we’ll catch up later.”

  Jake almost laughed out loud as his mother shot daggers at her husband before leaving the room in a huff.

  “Well, I’m just impressed that you all worked out the technology. Especially you Jake!” The face of Jake’s chirpy personal assistant appeared.

  Who else just watched Tansy in his home? He’d never live this down. At least they hadn’t seen her straddled on his knee.

  He couldn’t concentrate on business. Not when he knew that Tansy was upset upstairs. On his bed. All alone.

  The image of her hurt expression was like a sword in his side. Every time he thought of her, the sword twisted a little deeper.

  What could he say?

  The revelation that he enjoyed having her around hit him hard. He enjoyed waking up with her in his bed. He liked that they were in lockdown, away from interference. It was just them in their world. He could almost forget that they had never liked each other. Or that she was Steven’s friend, and not his. He believed her when she’d said that she’d never had a physical relationship with his brother, but she still had that special bond with him.

  His fingers tapped the bench. He looked blankly back at the screen. He didn’t bother focusing on what the rest of them were discussing. No doubt there would be meeting minutes distributed later. His mind was too preoccupied with Tansy. He’d never been one for long-term relationships. As she’d described it, he was a player. Tangle free and lots of fun. But that had been pre-lockdown. Pre-Tansy.

  Maybe this is what lockdown did to people? Changed their focus. Removed the material distractions.

  What would happen next? When the restrictions eased. When she no longer had a reason to stay in his home. The thought of her not here anymore was a leaden weight in his stomach.

  He couldn’t be bothered with trying to explain to his family what was happening.

  He did what he should have done ten minutes ago. He pressed the off button and closed the lid.

  That god-awful comment that he’d made about Tansy being a piece of eye-candy echoed in his ears. He was annoyed with himself on two counts. The first for feeling like he had to defend himself against his family. And the second, for hurting Tansy. A guttural hiss escaped his lips.

  There was no point waiting around. He had to talk to her. He raced up the steps three at a time, slowing down as he entered the landing, and then his room.

  There she was. Lying on her belly, on his bed. His headphones on her ears blasted out a recent top hit song.

  He was both grateful and annoyed that she was unaware of him watching her. The headphones were an unequivocal ‘do not disturb’ sign. It disturbed him because he didn’t know what to do.

  In a different circumstance, he would have appreciated the view he had of her. Of her shapely arse, and that he could see up short skirt to her brief panties, as her legs swung in time to the music. He might have even let his fingers trail up her legs. He stopped himself. This wasn’t the time.

  He retreated out of the room. Unsure on how to proceed. How to bridge the gap that his big gob had once again created.

  * * *

  Tansy

  Tansy sat up. Her ears ached from the music. She pulled the headphones off. She’d been lying on the bed tapping away on the laptop for hours. It was already dark outside.

  Work had been a cathartic release. She’d finished two unique complicated house designs that weren’t due for weeks.

  Who would’ve thought Jake insulting her like that would help her plough through her tasks?

  She corrected herself. He hadn’t insulted her though. It had cut deep hearing him talk about her in that way. That she was just the entertainment.

  She was more annoyed with herself. She’d known what he was like. He hadn’t changed in all the years she knew him. His comment shouldn’t have surprised her.

  She couldn’t regret that she was stuck staying here. He’d shown her a sensual side of lovemaking that she always thought belonged in chick-flicks.

  It wasn’t like she hadn’t had relationships before. But none of her boyfriends had ever made her feel like a powerful, sexy goddess. That’s how he made her feel. Even when he’d sprawled out watching her do her yoga, his comments hadn’t annoyed her. She hadn’t even found him lewd or off-putting. Instead, he’d turned her on. Excited by the prospect of adding to their new and spicy love-making.

  The problem was somewhere during this lockdown, she’d lost her heart to her best friend’s brother. And that’s what aggravated her. Someone like Jake would never, ever be able to return her affection. Yes, he enjoyed her body. He probably even enjoyed her company. But that was it. She was the entertainment. Just as he said.

  She had to stop thinking about him. Which was hard, seeing as she was on his bed. His musky scent enveloping her.

  Her phone vibrated. There were a dozen text messages from Stevie and an online invitation from her sister. She’d respond to Stevie later.

  Hey Tanse. How’s lockdown for you? Ivy and I are hooking up in a chatroom. Join us if you can. Link is attached. Would love to see you xxx Lily.

  Guilt washed over her. She hadn’t even messaged her two sisters once while in lockdown. She was sure they were fine. They were capable adults, finding their own niche in the world. Besides, she had never been super close with her sisters. Their father had married her mother when she was 11. Their marriage was why they’d moved to Belgravia. To start a new life.

  She flicked the link to Lily’s chatroom. Her sister immediately appeared.

  “Hey Tanse. Great to see you. Can you see Ivy?”

  Her other sister Ivy was waving madly from a little room.

  “Hey Ive. Are you on your houseboat?”

  “Sure am. Good to see you Tans.” Tansy smiled at her sisters. The girls were starkly different. Ivy travelled the world as a photographer, and in between contracts lived on her small houseboat moored on the small jetty in the river at the back of the house where Lily lived. The girls’ maternal grandmother had bequeathed the house to them.

  “It’s great to see you both too!” She meant it. It was lovely to see her sisters’ friendly faces. It was also funny to think her sisters were connecting through their phones when they were literally living only a hundred metres from each other.

  “So, what have you been up to? How was your friend Stevie’s wedding?” Lily called out.

  “It was wonderful. It was…” She was about to describe the afternoon in more detail when sud
denly she burst into tears.

  “Oh god, Tanse. Are you okay?” Ivy’s concern brought on another bout of tears.

  Tansy wiped her eyes with her fist. She didn’t know where to start.

  “Tansy? Where are you?” Lily asked with a furrowed brow. “It doesn’t look like your flat.”

  Tansy hiccupped. “It’s not. I’m at Jake’s house.”

  “Okay Honey. Start at the beginning. When I saw you at Christmas, you made no mention of any relationship. And definitely not of any Jake,” Ivy exclaimed. “In fact, you were working long hours. And I distinctively remember telling you you needed to get out and socialise a lot more.”

  Tansy sniffed through the tears. “I’m not in a relationship. Not really. After the wedding, I stayed over at Stevie’s brother’s place and got stuck here for the lockdown. You might remember Jake.”

  “Ah. Awful luck that. So, Jake is Stevie’s brother? Weren’t you guys like arch-enemies when we were kids? You used to come home in tears because he always teased you mercilessly.”

  Tansy blubbered again.

  “What’s he done?”

  “That’s just it. He has done nothing.” Tansy shrugged her shoulders. “It’s me. I’ve bloody well fallen for him. Even when I knew that we would be nothing more than bed-buddies during lockdown. I knew it was just a shag. But somewhere in the last few days, it became more for me.”

  “Oh Hun. Don’t take it hard. You’re feeling the brunt of the isolation. We all are.” Lily counselled her. “When the restrictions are lifted, and we’re back to normal, you can chalk it up to life’s experiences.”

  “Not that it makes it any easier for now.” Ivy interjected. “But it might make it easier. My advice is to keep doing what you’re doing. No point wallowing by yourself.” Her sister paused for a second. “This lockdown will make us all mad before the end. But having someone to share the madness with will make it infinitely easier to deal with.”

  “Thanks girls. I mean that.” Tansy wiped her tears away. “When did you girls get so wise?”

  “Anytime. And I mean that Tans. Call me if you’re feeling sad.”

  “Ditto for me too.” Ivy called out. “Who knows, maybe next time you can repay the favour!”

  Tansy smiled at her sisters. “Too right. Any time. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I haven’t just fallen in love with a guy who can’t return my affection. Maybe it’s just a lockdown induced facade!”

  Ivy shuddered. “Lockdown induced facade? That sounds like a spell cast onto the world. Imagine the birth-rate soaring because of it!”

  Tansy laughed. Ivy’s view of the world had always been unique.

  “I feel bad. We’ve talked about me. But not about you. Have you heard from Mum and Patrick?”

  “We’re good aren’t we Lil?”

  “Yep. And I spoke to Dad yesterday. They’re fine. Your Mum is worried about you. Dad said they hadn’t heard from you.”

  “So Tanse. Next piece of advice. Call them. But for goodness sakes, don’t tell them you aren’t at home. You know what they’re like!” Ivy called out.

  Tansy laughed. Ivy was right. Her mum and stepfather would freak if they knew that she wasn’t safe and sound at home.

  “Girls, something’s come up. I have to go.” Lily looked over her shoulder at a disturbance in the room behind her.

  “Lil. What’s going on? Do I need to come up to the house?” Ivy half threatened.

  “No. It’s fine. I’ll chat later.”

  “Thanks girls. I love you.” Tansy was feeling weepy again. She’d never felt such a powerful connection to her sisters again.

  “Love you too. How about we catch up regularly? Might be helpful for all of us!” Ivy waved goodbye as she spoke.

  “Don’t let Jake wear you down. Just enjoy the moment! Anyway, ciao.” Lily’s voice was the last thing Tansy heard before her screen went blank.

  Her sisters made sense. Life would normalise when the restrictions eased up. There was no point getting anxious. Not yet, anyway.

  Tansy’s stomach rumbled. She had eaten nothing for hours. Not since her mid-morning cup of tea. She had to eat. And she had to put her big pants on and talk to Jake. Even if she hadn’t yet figured it out. The only surety was, she wasn’t ready to let go of whatever they had. Not yet.

  But it still bothered her he thought she was just the entertainment. That’s what strippers and call girls were. It tarnished what they’d shared. And that wasn’t fair.

  She liked sex with Jake. She liked how he made her feel.

  Tansy crept down the stairs. It was all quiet. The lights were on, but she couldn’t hear any movement.

  Jake’s laptop was sitting on the bench closed. He wasn’t working then. The kitchen was empty.

  She walked through to the empty sitting room.

  Where on earth was he?

  She put her hand to her stomach to stop it from rumbling again.

  She stepped through to the large glass conservatory. Her heart stopped for a beat. He sat in an oversized cane chair at the end of the room, near the glass door to the garden. He faced the darkened sky, his reflection shining back in the window.

  Tansy propelled forward, unsure what she should do. She sat down in the other cane chair next to Jake’s.

  “Grab a glass if you want a drink.” His voice slurred.

  He was sozzled!

  “No thanks. I thought I’d order some food. Are you hungry?”

  “Um. No. Yes. Actually, I’m starving. I’ve been waiting for you to come down.”

  Tansy shrugged. “I was working. I’m sure you know how it is.” She would not apologise.

  “What are you ordering?”

  “Pizza if I can find some. Otherwise, it’ll be whatever is delivering! Are the restaurants or takeaways even delivering?”

  He waved his hand in the air. Tansy smiled at his inaptitude. There would be no sense coming from him tonight.

  “Why are you smiling at me?”

  “What can I say? You look a mess. There’s no hint of that immaculately dressed bossy CEO.”

  “You know my family were all pissed off with me today?”

  “Why? Were you rude about them too?”

  “Ouch.” He slapped his hand against his heart. “No. It was because I insulted about you.”

  “I can understand Stevie getting upset. He’s always been protective. Like the big brother I never had. But your Mother? I don’t get why she’d be annoyed. Unless it exemplified poor breeding or something!”

  “Hah. Very funny. How did you know Mother was there too? No matter.” His hand waved around like he was conducting an orchestra. “It annoyed mother that you were here. Apparently, you can’t be trusted. She thinks you’ve gone from one brother to the next!”

  “Everyone’s images were lined up at the bottom of the screen. But, give me a break. I hoped you explained that it was all about the sex?”

  “My new sister-in-law wasn’t impressed either. She told me to run after you and explain.”

  “Explain what?” It confused Tansy. Stevie’s now-wife had been polite to her, but she’d never been overly warm to her. But that was understandable. Relationships didn’t need three people.

  “I have no idea. But apparently calling you eye-candy is not allowed.” His words ran together in a garbled way.

  Tansy snorted. “I don’t think it was the eye-candy reference that upset anyone.”

  That made Jake stop and look at her quizzically. “What was it then? I said nothing else.”

  He looked genuinely puzzled. Tansy could have almost sympathised for him if he hadn’t hurt her with his words.

  “I’m sure it was the reference that I am the entertainment.” She retorted back to him.

  “Oh. Well.” He paused for a bit. “Did I say that?”

  “You really said it.”

  He sat back as he thought it over. He gulped back a mouthful of whiskey and shuddered as he swallowed it.

  Tansy didn’t know if his ignoranc
e to his own comment made it worse or not.

  She was too tired and hungry to examine it any further with him. Besides, he was blotto.

  She stood up. “I’m going to order pizza. Any preference for topping?”

  “Eh? I’m no. Whatever. I don’t care.”

  She’d given up on him. She stood up to leave when his voice stopped her in her tracks.

  “You’re not the entertainment, you know?” He exhaled before he leant forward and poured another nip of whiskey into his glass. “Although what we do together is very entertaining!”

  Tansy shook her head. She needed to order food. To do that, she needed her phone.

  She slipped upstairs to get her phone.

  Jake hadn’t moved at all.

  “It’s rained all afternoon.” He commented as she sat back down.

  “Did it? I didn’t notice.” She remarked absently as she searched for pizza delivery nearby.

  “We’re like an old married couple. Talking about the weather.” He complained as he took another swig.

  “Speak for yourself. I couldn’t care less about the weather. I’m too busy hunting for food.”

  “I’m not a good host am I? You even have to find your own pizza.”

  “I’m sure I’ll survive.”

  Finally, she found a pizzeria that would deliver. There was no point asking Jake what he’d like, he was in no state to comment either way. She decided on the vegetarian and the supreme. She checked the exact street address off the calendar invite on her phone. Perfect. In half an hour, she’d be chomping down on some food.

  “You know, I’m glad that you’re here while we’re in lockdown. It would have been very boring stuck here by myself.”

  “Which makes me then entertainment then?” Tansy retorted caustically.

  “No. Not that.” He leant over and left his glass on the low table between them. “It was destiny. We weren’t meant to spend isolation by ourselves.”

  “Destiny? I wouldn’t think you’d believe in such a thing.”

  “Even big bossy CEOs can believe in destiny.”

  Tansy’s phone vibrated.

  Your order is being completed. It will be delivered in 10 minutes.

  Thank goodness!