A Soulless Year Three

by Eva Brandt

  Because of our circumstances, we’d never had a real, normal relationship. There had always been lies, ploys, and second agendas between us. Most of it was already in the past, though. Wouldn’t it be stupid to give up, now of all times, when I could actually change that?

  The idea scared me, but just like Satan, I’d never been a coward. If I tried this, if I exposed myself to heartbreak again, I wouldn’t survive it. But I’d already abandoned the idea of survival, so that wasn’t a big deal.

  Besides, my parents needed me. Even if my lovers had helped them, they weren’t safe yet. And I’d made a deal with my mentors.

  I’d accepted the Power of Death. It might have been because I’d wanted to save my loved ones, but I’d done it. I’d agreed to be the protector of The Mortal Realm, and I couldn’t just go back on my word because I didn’t like what my boyfriends had done to me in my past life. That was stupid and irresponsible.

  “Better?” Satan asked, her dark red lips twisting into a tiny smirk.

  “Not really, but good enough,” I said. “At least for now.”

  I might fall apart later, but for the moment, I no longer felt like I was paralyzed by fear and indecision.

  “I have to face this, even if it hurts. I might still end up soulless. Who knows? But even if that happens, I’ll at least know I gave it my all.”

  “That’s the spirit. Those assholes won’t know what hit them.”

  Her comment reminded me of all the enemies I’d left behind and everyone who had been out to get me. Thinking back, it must have been one of the archangels who’d turned me to salt. Or maybe the High Seraph. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but if I remembered correctly, that curse had been a favorite of Kemuel’s.

  They would have probably been relieved if I’d been consumed by The Shadow Realm. I’d have been just another problem they didn’t have to deal with. It was a shame that I’d made a different decision.

  As Satan’s shadow melted away into the darkness of The In-Between, I focused on my connection with my lovers. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected to find, but it wasn’t an outburst of energy, panic, and chaos.

  Fractured thoughts drifted in my head from different directions.

  “This is bad. At this rate, we won’t be able to save all these people.”

  “Fuck. Why do humans have to be so greedy? I hate demons.”

  “This has to work. We can’t fail now, not after everything that’s happened.”

  “I can’t die here. I want to see Delilah again.”

  “I’m sorry, Delilah.”

  “Where are you, Delilah?”

  “Please come back, Delilah.”

  There were so many voices, and I had trouble understanding them all through the cacophony of their frustration, determination, and fear. But I still identified their souls, still felt them reach out to me, needing me.

  I closed my eyes, and behind my eyelids, I saw what had been happening while I’d been here, feeling sorry for myself. Just like Morrigan had said, Michael was with Lucifer, and seemed to be preparing for a ritual to bring me back. Cain had unexpectedly decided to help.

  One of the voices was his. Ours truly was a strange fate. I’d never expected to feel anything for him, and he must have been in the same situation. But now, here we were.

  I didn’t have the chance to examine the ritual too closely, because I ended up having to focus on my Watchers. At one point, they’d been dispatched to The Mortal Realm and were fighting hordes of demons. Stranger still, they were all in different places, and alone.

  They were putting up a good fight, but at this rate, they were going to die. I couldn’t allow that.

  Somewhere in Tokyo, a group of demons launched themselves at a tiring Azazel. I willed myself to his side. The In-Between tried to protest, but I was determined. The power of my anger sliced straight through the barrier around The Shadow Realm.

  The next thing I knew, I was landing next to my lover. The aftershocks caused by my power sucked the life out of all the demons nearby. I quickly tightened my hold on it, before it did the same to Azazel and to every human in the area.

  I needn’t have worried, not about Azazel, at least. He was a little injured, but I hadn’t caused any of his wounds. He turned, his breath catching when he saw me standing there. “Delilah? You’re back?”

  “Obviously,” I replied tersely. “What is this all about?”

  My sharp tone snapped Azazel out of his shock. He vibrated with tension—and possibly with the desire to touch me—but he still provided me with the answers I sought. “There’s been a rebellion in The Infernal Realm. After Demogorgon bit Alyssa, she lost control of her powers. It had a detrimental effect on the demons. Some of them broke out and have decided to seek leadership in the first Satan.”

  Say what? “Okay, that’s a new one. Fuck.”

  I looked around, watching the demons approach, now a little more cautiously. I had no intention of being a leader of Hell, but this was still something I could use.

  Taking a deep breath, I thought about Satan, about the way I’d been in The Shadow Realm and in my memories. My aura shifted and expanded, turning darker, hotter. My feathers started changing colors.

  Control it, control it. You can do this, Delilah.

  Out loud, I said, “I appreciate the support, but The Mortal Realm isn’t a target right now. While I do have a dispute with Lucifer and his queen, I’m confident that we can reach an agreement if we discuss it diplomatically.”

  I chose my words carefully, but most of it went over their heads. They instantly recognized my aura, just like I’d hoped.

  “Satan!” an imp shouted. “It’s really you! We weren’t sure… We thought it was a rumor…”

  “Command us, Great One,” a kitsune added. “Let us serve you and slay all your foes. Starting with that pest.”

  She was still glaring at Azazel, and a part of me appreciated that. It was nice that they still remembered me and they wanted to avenge me.

  But I couldn’t let myself be fooled. Most demons had been obedient to Lucifer for millennia. Things had only gone downhill now because of his issues with Alyssa. Had the situation been different, had Lucifer’s wife not lost control of her power, these demons would be trying to kill me.

  I didn’t blame them for it. That was the nature of demons. Most of them weren’t known for their loyalty. But that didn’t mean I’d suddenly decide to trust them.

  “I’ll handle my personal issues on my own. Your help isn’t necessary.”

  “But, Great One, he murdered you!” the fox demon protested.

  “I know what he did,” I answered. “Don’t question me. Go home. The three realms must have balance. This battle won’t help anyone except our enemies.”

  The demons hesitated. For a few seconds, I dared to think I’d arrived in time and would be able to end this without further bloodshed. But that would have been much too easy.

  A five-headed goat emerged from behind the kitsune and glowered at me. “You’re a liar,” it said. “You can’t be Satan. You’ve stolen her power somehow, but you aren’t her. She would have never said such things. Kill her!”

  Just like that, chaos exploded in the plaza, the demons converging upon me and Azazel once again. I was strangely clear-headed. “If that’s the way you want it, so be it.”

  The Power of Death came easily to my fingertips. I didn’t let it infect my aura. Instead, I used it to target the demons individually.

  It was tedious and difficult, but I had no choice. There were still humans lying around, unconscious, but breathing. I could already catch a glimpse of some drifting souls, but there were far less dead than I’d originally thought.

  Azazel was a great help. We fought side by side like we were two parts of the same whole, moving easily around one another, keeping the demons from approaching too much.

  All things considered, it must have taken us around five minutes to destroy at least three-quarters of the demons in Tokyo. A few of them tri
ed to use the humans as hostages. Those died very quickly and I registered their faces in my brain.

  If things went well, I’d be able to arrange for their punishment to be harsher than that of the others.

  Around two dozen demons tried to make their escape, but were intercepted by a second group. This one was led by Stefan, and he’d clearly come to provide aid.

  “You’re late,” Azazel shouted.

  Stefan grunted. “Had to drop by elsewhere first. I see you’ve been doing well enough on your own.”

  “That’s just because of Delilah.”

  “You’re welcome, then,” Stefan offered. “Who knows? Maybe I did you a favor. If not for my delay, she might not have returned at all.”

  I was unimpressed and narrowed my eyes at him. “You really presume too much, Stefan Schwarz.”

  “Not at all,” he answered. “I’m just making an effort to control myself and not attack you on sight.”

  “Fair enough. I can understand the impulse. I feel the same when it comes to most of the people in your family. But I also don’t have time for you right now. I’m needed elsewhere.”

  “If you’re referring to tracking down Sariel and Yeqon, they’ve already received reinforcements,” Stefan answered. “But go for it, if you want. The less time I have to spend around you, the better.”

  I left Stefan in Tokyo and, together with Azazel, pursued the thread of my connection to my lovers. We ended up in New York. Sariel and Yeqon were both here, together with Leviathan.

  As far as I could tell, the battle was already over. There were more dead here than in Tokyo, and I suspected that had something to do with my presence. In Japan, a lot of the angry demons had abandoned their previous quest and attacked me instead. Here, the mortals hadn’t been so lucky.

  If I’d been faster, if I hadn’t wasted so much time in The In-Between, less blood would have been spilled today. Too late now.

  Pushing back my regrets, I walked up to Sariel and Yeqon. “Are you all right? I heard what happened from the others.”

  “Are we all right?” Sariel repeated.

  “I’m dreaming,” Yeqon said, staring at me in shock and awe. “You can’t possibly be here and asking us that.”

  In response, I slapped him so hard he went flying into a wall. Leviathan winced and several of his minions scuttled off, taking refuge behind their leader.

  Yeqon was undeterred. He got up, ignoring the mild burn now decorating his cheek. “Okay, so I’m not dreaming. How?”

  “I’m a primordial soul with the Power of Death. Of course I could come back on my own if I wanted to. You didn’t need to cut a deal with Lucifer to ensure my safety. Dumbass.”

  Sariel flinched, and I knew what he was thinking—that the deal hadn’t been just to bring me back. We had to talk about that too and about everything else that was standing in the way of our relationship. I’d decided to give them a second chance, but that didn’t mean we could just ignore what had separated us in the first place.

  “In any case,” Leviathan said, “maybe you could discuss this elsewhere, and at a later date. I’m pretty sure this skirmish has drawn all the wrong attention.”

  I didn’t like Leviathan that much, but he’d always been the sensible one among Lucifer’s lieutenants. The idea of going to The Infernal Realm didn’t appeal to me, but it was necessary. I wanted to get my parents to safety, once and for all, and have a real conversation with Lucifer.

  This could have all been avoided if he’d just opened his mouth before attacking me. I could have told him I had no designs on his throne and didn’t intend to question his claim on The Infernal Realm. But no, he’d decided to kill me instead, and had ended up destroying his own family in the process.

  “Good idea, Leviathan,” I said, “but I have to warn you I won’t allow any of the demons to attack me again. Also, some of these creatures seem to have an allegiance to my past self.”

  “Yes, we noticed. It will be taken care of. Don’t worry about that now. Do you need help traveling to The Infernal Realm or can you make it there on your own?”

  It was a perfectly reasonable question, but I still shot him an ugly look. “I’ll be fine, thanks. I’m sure I can manage on my own.”

  To prove my point, I summoned my power and sought out the path to The Infernal Realm. Even after all this time, it was easy for me to find it.

  But when I actually tried to use my magic and leave, I found that path blocked. Frowning, I tried again, thinking I’d made a mistake the first time.

  I hadn’t. In front of me, Leviathan paled, and I instantly knew he was having similar problems.

  Several winged figures emerged from a shadowy alley, glowing with celestial power. “I’m afraid I can’t allow you to leave. You’ve already caused enough suffering. You need to be destroyed, once and for all.”

  Well, that answered that. Mentally sighing, I turned toward the approaching group.

  “You tried that once, Kemuel, and it didn’t work. Just give up already.”

  The High Seraph walked up to us, with Uriel and Azrael trailing behind him. “I can’t do that,” he answered. He smiled slightly at me, and the expression struck me as both eerie and condescending. “You haven’t changed, Satan. You still don’t understand the true power of The Celestial Realm, or the power of knowledge. And that’s why you’ll never win.”

  It occurred to me that I’d spent the better part of these last few weeks sparring with Kemuel, on his own turf. If there was anyone who knew my skills right now, it was probably him. But that was all right. He might have learned things about me, but at the same time, he’d given me the key to his power and to his heart.

  “You’re wrong, High Seraph. I have changed. And in your arrogance, you can’t see what’s right in front of your nose. But that’s okay. I think it’s time for me to finally teach you a lesson.”

  My lovers flanked me, taking protective positions around me. Leviathan was already reorganizing his troops. Up above us, I caught a glimpse of Virtues and Thrones hovering in the air, ready to attack.

  I licked my lips and tasted blood and ash on my tongue. “Do you really want to do this, Kemuel? Do you really want a war between the realms?”

  “The war has already started, Delilah,” Azrael replied. “It’s up to us to end it. Where there is death, there must also be life, and it has to be protected. You’ve been back for less than a day, and already you’ve killed thousands of people.”

  I laughed. “Don’t pretend you care, Azrael. They’re only humans, and you’ve always seen them as beneath you. But fine, if that’s the way you want it, let’s fight.”

  Fiery blades appeared in my lovers’ hands, mimicking the weapons’ of our newly arrived opponents. A whip manifested in mine. “You might have killed Delilah St. John, High Seraph Kemuel. Let’s see if you can do the same to Satan.”

  Battle of the Two Queens

  After all this time, I’d expected to find holding the whip a little more awkward. I didn’t. It felt right in my hand, like an extension of me. And when I used it to slice off an angel’s wing, it felt even better.

  The emotion should have alarmed me, but at this point, I’d bypassed panic and gone straight into fury. Instead of facing me himself, Kemuel was throwing the other angels at me. It pissed me off, especially since I could see his end goal.

  I wrapped my whip around an angel’s throat and tugged. The edges of the weapon lit up, separating his head from his body.

  “You know, you can throw as many of your minions as you want at me, but it won’t change the truth. You’re weaker than me, Kemuel. You always have been.”

  “Oh, I know that,” Kemuel replied as he blasted a demon apart. “Everyone does. But I’m not alone. The Supreme Being is always with me.”

  If that were true, we wouldn’t be fighting this battle in the first place, but whatever. Kemuel could believe whatever he liked. His zealotry wouldn’t save him.

  “You’re a fool, Kemuel. I have a far greater power s
upporting me, one that even The Demiurge can’t beat.”

  Kemuel glared at me, the shade of his archon wings already appearing behind him. I smirked to myself. “What? If I’m wrong, stop hiding and face me properly.”

  Angels were easily riled up by slights against The Supreme Being, and the High Seraph was no different. And yet, he hadn’t turned into his archon form yet.

  I knew why he hadn’t taken that step. It was much too dangerous. There was a reason archons were a rarely discussed concept, and that was because their true selves caused too much damage to The Mortal Realm. If Kemuel shifted in the middle of downtown New York, he could kill millions of people.

  Would he do it? Celestial beings didn’t care that much about collateral damage, but Kemuel was making a show of having come after me because of the deaths I’d caused. What was he actually thinking?

  It didn’t take me long to get my answer. His body started to grow, losing its humanoid shape and turning into the familiar, intimidating monolith.

  The energy stemming from his transformation was almost like that of a black hole. As he grew, the ground vanished, leaving behind only nothingness, a barren crack in reality.

  “Well, that’s going to be difficult to fix,” Sariel said with a sigh. “Once again, you’ve proven you don’t care about humans at all.”

  “If they’d cared, they would have shown up before the battle with the rogue demons was over,” Azazel pointed out.

  He was probably right. In fact, Azazel’s comment made me suspect that Kemuel knew exactly what had happened and was well aware this attack wasn’t my fault. They just didn’t care and wanted to get rid of me because I was a thorn in their side.

  Leviathan let out an irritated sigh. “This is shaping up to be a really frustrating day. A riot, and now an archon? What have I done to deserve this?”

  “Is that a rhetorical question or are you actually asking?” I inquired. “Don’t worry, Lord of Envy. I’ll handle this. I’ve fought him before. I can do it again.”