Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 1

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  The acid-spewing monsters were blown to pieces or burned into nothingness. Explosions filled the land as the magical power reached its zenith.

  “How’d you like that!” “Did you see?!” came the voices of young mages as they watched the devastation unfold below. Riveria had a different reaction from her young female allies’: a long sigh of relief.

  Their camp had sustained considerable damage only hours before. They had lost a lot of supplies and energy, but worst of all they had lost most of their weapons and armor to an unstoppable acid attack they were seeing for the first time. They’d saved what they could, but their stocks were almost empty.

  If Riveria had not been there to control the situation—or to contribute to the battle herself—there was no doubt the Expedition party wouldn’t have stood a chance.

  “To think protecting the camp would be so dangerous…” she muttered to herself under her breath.

  “In any case, they’ve all been dealt with…”

  She surveyed the battlefield from her spot on the crest of the hill.

  Their magic attack had been the final blow. Aiz and the others were quick to dispatch the badly injured survivors. Just like Finn, watching her allies take so many risks in battle made Riveria’s head hurt. However, he was in charge. Their actions were his problem, not hers.

  Still, what were those beasts…?

  Loki Familia’s supporters, who had dragged the cargo boxes out of camp under heavy duress and supplied the forward groups with weapons, were happily embracing and celebrating the victory. Riveria was so deep in thought that she didn’t notice them.

  Judging by how Aiz and the others fought, they, too, had encountered the same monsters on level fifty-one. A new species of monster and an ambush at the relatively secure “safe point”…Riveria felt that something major was about to occur…She quickly shook her head. No amount of thinking would solve this problem. She had other priorities at the moment.

  The wounded needed to be attended to, and the battlefield needed to be searched for drop items, among other things. Riveria was about to turn on her heel—when her jade eyes suddenly caught something in the distance.

  “What is that…?”

  Her strong yet feminine lips mouthed those words before she could stop them.

  “All done!”

  Aiz’s sword pierced the remaining survivor. Only the adventurers were still moving on the devastated plains.

  Tiona celebrated the victory by calling out to Aiz and pumping her fist in the air. The blond girl released her enchantment and looked down at the sword in her grasp.

  Finn still carried her weapon of choice. The weapon he’d given her as a replacement looked like little more than something pulled out of the scrap heap. The combination of Aiz’s skill with the sword and Airiel had been too much for the blade to take. It would have broken on the next strike had the battle gone on any longer.

  That was the only downside to the girl’s fighting style—it was difficult to find weapons and armor that could keep up with her.

  Ignoring the twinges of pain and fatigue throughout her body, Aiz went about her business as usual, her expression as aloof as ever.

  “Tough little bastards…Think everyone who stayed behind’s okay?”

  “Oh? What’s this, Bete? Worried about Riveria and our supporters? That’s a first!”

  “Shut it. If they didn’t hold their ground, we can’t get out of here! Don’t go getting the wrong idea!”

  Tiona and Bete’s argument finally broke the tension as everyone started to relax.

  While Tione stood beside Finn, Raul almost tumbled forward when Gareth smacked him on the shoulder, and Lefiya had a smile on her face. Everyone’s expressions became softer as they basked in the glory of a job well done.

  Aiz glanced back at the rocky hill before surveying the area one last time. She was about to turn away.

  That’s when it appeared.

  “—!”

  The thing announced its presence.

  It advanced through the ash forest, breaking tree after tree. The echoes were still far away but getting louder.

  Everyone’s eyes immediately snapped in that direction. The adventurers armed themselves; the relaxed atmosphere disappeared in an instant.

  The echoes reached them like the trees were screaming out in pain. However, the creature could be seen only from the crest of the hill. Riveria and the mages stood in stunned silence, watching anxiously as the adventurers on the plains scrambled into formation.

  They didn’t know how long they waited.

  If it had been much longer, they might not have stuck around.

  Finally, the adventurers on the plains saw the beast emerge from the tree line.

  “…Did that come up from below, too?”

  “Destroying everything in its path…Probably?”

  “Don’t be stupid…”

  Everyone but the Amazonian twins was too stunned to speak.

  The creature had to be at least six meders tall.

  What’s more, it was at least twice as big as the largest of the monsters they had been fighting against.

  Its body was the same pale, yellowish green with long, flat arm flaps. Most of its body was the same shape as the caterpillar monsters, with the exception of one big difference.

  “Is that a person…?”

  The caterpillar-like lower body was no different from the others’. However, instead of a mountainous lump of flesh on the front end, there was a distinctly human torso and head leading the charge.

  Four arms, two on each side, their shape resembling the bodies of stingrays or perhaps folding fans. They were flatter than flat, as though they had no thickness at all, and seemed to glide through the air as it moved. Long tendrils as thick as snakes whipped from side to side on the back of its head.

  Spots of bright colors covered its body like random splashes of paint. Some looked natural, but most seemed to be the remnants of whatever monsters had been on the receiving end of its poison.

  The brightest spot was where eyes would have been on a human face. The curves of its human torso were distinctly female. Had the rest of the body not been a worm from the deepest pits of hell, it might have been attractive. Its belly didn’t appear round enough to be pregnant, but the skin around it was pitch-black and pulsing.

  “If we slew something that big…”

  —An unfathomable amount of purple acid would flood the area.

  Raul gawked at the monster large enough to be a floor boss, his eyes locked on the black pouch containing enough of the purple liquid to turn the rest of the plains into a bubbling swamp.

  Thinking back to their previous battle, most of the badly injured monsters had exploded before they could be slain. If this monster did the same thing, the explosion might be powerful enough to utterly destroy everything on this floor.

  Even if they managed to kill it, everything nearby would be in danger.

  Visions of the devastation ran through everyone’s heads.

  Gareth adjusted his helmet, beady eyes looking out from deep within. “For that big one, I reckon we’ll need to hit its magic stone nice an’ clean.”

  “So where do we start stabbing, huh…?” Bete responded to his analysis with obvious sarcasm.

  The beast completely emerged from the forest and came to a stop a good distance from the adventurers.

  It looked something like an insectoid centaur or some kind of half-human, half-snake lamia monstrosity from the front.

  The human head of the huge monster faced Loki Familia from across the smoldering plains.

  “…”

  The female monster made the first move.

  Its four arm flaps opened wide, as though it were greeting its long-lost love.

  Specks of light filled the air—not just reds and oranges but greens and blues as well.

  Spores, or perhaps some kind of pollen. The swarm of color flowed across the plains.

  A cold chill instantly shot up their spines.


  All of the top-class adventurers immediately jumped backward.

  A heartbeat later, millions of tiny explosions went off at once.

  “KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!”

  “GUhhh…!”

  Lefiya felt the heat of the blast on her face as she screamed at the top of her lungs. Every blade of grass, every pile of ash, every remaining monster corpse went up in flames in an instant.

  Those specks weren’t something as ordinary as pollen.

  Every single speck of the multicolored cloud was a bomb.

  Finn called out to his allies under the cover of the smoke and dirt that filled the air in the aftermath.

  “All groups, full retreat!”

  He gave the order.

  The gazes of everyone else immediately shot to his location. Their leader, however, was focused completely on the female worm.

  “Get back to camp; tell the others to take the bare minimum and get out of here.”

  “C’mon, Finn! Are ya serious?!”

  “Are we just going to ignore that thing?!”

  Bete and Tione voiced their objections. Their pride as top-class adventurers and as members of the strongest Dungeon-crawling familia in Orario, Loki Familia, would not let them run away from this fight.

  It had made its way to this safe point. What was to stop it from going even higher? There was no telling how many casualties other adventurers would suffer if that happened.

  “I don’t like this any more than you do. But we need to slay it and do damage control at the same time. Easier said than done, I know.”

  Finn knew the orders he had to give, but it pained him to do so.

  He shook his head slightly before making eye contact with the blond-haired, golden-eyed girl.

  “Aiz, take it down.”

  The prum squared his shoulders to her and added, “Alone.”

  “Think this over, sir!”

  Lefiya’s voice shrieked before anyone else could respond.

  Tiona and the others were about to argue when suddenly—BOOM!

  The monster had already released another cloud.

  The adventurers could see its shape moving through the smoke, countless legs shifting in tandem with its flat arms open wide.

  “…There’s no time. Raul, go to Riveria and tell her to get everyone out of there!”

  “Hey, wait, Finn! Why only Aiz?! I’ll go, too!”

  “A woman protectin’ my ass? Aw, hell, no!”

  “General, there has to be another way. Please reconsider.”

  Tiona, Bete, and Tione braced themselves against the next round of explosions while trying to argue their point.

  However, Finn silenced them.

  “Don’t make me repeat myself. Go.”

  He might have sounded calm, but his voice was laced with an undeniable power.

  No one could go against this short blond prum.

  Tiona and the others knew that once Finn flipped that switch, there was no turning back.

  With reluctance and resentment on their faces, the young adventurers started to retreat.

  “…A-at least allow me to support her!”

  Lefiya, on the other hand, stayed behind to plead her case.

  Her thin shoulder was grabbed from behind and her body was yanked away from Finn.

  “Lefiya…It’s okay.”

  “—”

  Aiz stepped between them and gently pushed the elf back toward the camp.

  It took a firm shove to get her to step back.

  Aiz was too strong for her, and Lefiya stumbled.

  “…”

  She looked at the human girl for a moment, a tear running down her cheek, until finally she turned to follow the rest.

  Aiz watched her leave for a few seconds before turning back to face the oncoming monster.

  “Sorry, Aiz.”

  “It’s fine.”

  As the leader, Finn sometimes had to give unpopular orders. However, it was very rare for him to apologize for them.

  Most likely, what he was ordering her to do right now conflicted with what he’d told her earlier that day. The disparity was eating away at him inside. That was why he took this opportunity, when the two of them were alone, to offer an apology. In turn, Aiz understood his situation and shook her head from side to side.

  If Finn said this was for the best, it was for the best. Tiona and the others knew it as well.

  She was best suited for fighting against that monster.

  “I’ll signal you once we’re clear. Buy us as much time as you can.”

  “Understood.”

  Finn quickly issued his final orders, and Aiz looked forward with vigor, knowing exactly what she had to do.

  Taking Desperate back from Finn before charging, she raced across the battle-scarred plains, the only line of defense between the female caterpillar and her friends.

  The beast’s many legs carved their way through the dirt. Its arm flaps waved. Stripes of bright colors slashed their way through the thinning smoke.

  Aiz rushed toward her enemy with no hesitation and nary a sound.

  Her golden eyes flashed. Then she whispered:

  “Awaken, Tempest.”

  She summoned the wind.

  Shimm. Her weapon sang as it emerged from its sheath.

  The female figure shook.

  All of the monster’s senses locked onto Aiz as if responding to the wind. Its human torso shifted into position, following her movements.

  A crack suddenly appeared in the middle of its smooth “face,” opening its jaws as wide as possible.

  Its entire body contracted as it launched an incredible stream of liquid from its head with enormous pressure.

  In terms of amount and speed, there was no comparison with the other caterpillar monsters. Aiz chose to evade it with a quick sidestep.

  The roar of a waterfall overtook her a heartbeat later. The blast was powerful enough to carve a chunk out of the ground where she had been standing, before crashing into the rock hill not too far behind her.

  The hill collapsed in on itself, the crest falling into a newly formed pit of the purple liquid. Black smoke rose from the bubbling pile as the hill continue to crumble.

  If I don’t lead it away…

  Her first priority was exactly what Finn had ordered: to buy time for their retreat.

  At the same time, she could lure the beast into some more advantageous terrain.

  Luckily, the monster was focused on her. If she put some space between them, it should come after her—that was her train of thought.

  She was only half right.

  “!”

  The creature crossed its four arms, making two Xs in front of its chest before opening them as wide as it could.

  Aiz couldn’t believe her eyes as the creature released enough of its sparkling spores to block her view of the ceiling above.

  “—”

  The glinting multicolored cloud fanned out in all directions around her before descending.

  Everything within range of the spores would be utterly destroyed. Aiz had been trying to only divert the monster’s course up to that point and realized it was too late to completely dodge the cloud. Instead, she called on the wind enveloping her to form a shield.

  That’s when the spores all exploded at the same time.

  The ground shook; more and more sonic booms assaulted her ears, each impact more powerful than the last. Aiz lost her balance for a moment as her vision spun.

  Bracing herself again, the girl felt her skin and light armor seared by the intense heat. She gritted her teeth and rode it out.

  The explosions stopped. However, there was movement in the smoke. With a flash of pale green, the monster was coming.

  “!”

  Flat arms sliced through the air, clearly cutting the last of the smoke out of the way as it streaked toward her head.

  A quick twist, duck, and back step allowed her to dodge three of the arms.

  However, the monster’s four
th arm—one of the lower set of two—connected.

  With the side of her blade, she managed to get into a defensive position at the last possible second. But the impact was so powerful that it sent her flying backward. Were it not for the wind’s protection, that hit could have crushed every bone in her body.

  Her body spun once as it flew over the ravaged land. First her hand hit the ground. Bending her arm like a spring, she pushed off the ground and used the wind to land on her feet. She slid to a stop on top of the charred grass and took an offensive stance with Desperate in the same motion.

  The beast had already started its next attack, another blast of the liquid. She brought her sword down into it with all of her strength.

  The marble-patterned acid and silver blade collided with a bang.

  The blade cut through the stream and, with the help of the wind, guided the flow around her.

  It was awe-inspiring. One lone adventurer using a single sword to defend against the monster’s cannon-like acid attack.

  The caterpillar’s female torso bent forward, trying to overwhelm the human with even more pressure. The girl’s golden eyes narrowed as she dug in her heels, but she didn’t falter.

  The first to give up in this reverse tug-of-war was the monster. Cutting off the flow of acid, it roared menacingly at its prey. Aiz flicked her sword as the last of the liquid flew by her. Then she charged.

  I can’t give it any space!

  It was indeed focused on her, but it couldn’t be drawn.

  The monster could turn the area to a burning wasteland if it were so inclined. It didn’t have to chase Aiz to inflict damage.

  The only safe place from its spore cloud, somewhere that the creature itself would get caught up in the blast, was right on top of it.

  Finn and the others would have to manage on their own; she couldn’t help them get any distance.

  Therefore, Aiz focused completely on keeping the female caterpillar engaged in combat.

  “!”

  The creature dove toward the incoming human, its four arms poised and ready to attack.

  Her theory was correct; the beast wasn’t using its spores. Aiz deflected the creature’s left arms with her blade and spun past the right. Her speed and agility allowed her to focus on a new target, the many little legs supporting it on the right side.