The Warrior's Curse

by Jennifer A. Nielsen

  I said, “Loelle’s theories were correct. So long as I lived, magic could not be pulled from me. I had to die.”

  “You died,” Simon quickly echoed. “I saw you die, Kes.”

  “Yes. When I attacked Joth with the Olden Blade, he returned the attack, taking everything from me, my life, my magic. My corruption.”

  He shook his head, still skeptical. “Then how are you alive?”

  Explaining myself was proving more difficult than I had anticipated. It required me to relive the worst of my memories, and to feel the horrible weight of my crimes. I told him about the black disk I had created, how it contained the piece of Endrick’s magic that could restore life, as it had once restored Sir Henry’s life when Tenger—

  “Tenger killed Sir Henry,” Simon said. “He told me about that, or tried to.”

  “Simon, I’m just me. And I know it’s too late to change anything for us. I know about your betrothal with Harlyn. But I’m asking you to believe what I’ve told you.”

  His eyes welled with tears, but he swallowed them down before walking over to my old wardrobe and pulling out a deep blue gown with cream lacing at the torso. It was one that had been prepared for my arrival from the Lava Fields months ago, so at least it should fit me, even if it was more formal than I’d usually worn since becoming the Infidante. And it was a vast improvement from my sleeping gown.

  “This should be a simple one to get into because it laces up the front,” he said. “The Alliance cannot offer you any ladies-in-waiting—”

  “I require none.”

  He hesitated, then cautiously nodded before continuing. “I doubt you’d want Trina or Harlyn’s help here either. Or Imri Stout’s.”

  Despite the need for quiet, I laughed softly; then he said he’d find me something to eat while I changed clothes. I was finishing up the lacing when he returned with some bread and cold slices of meat.

  “It’s simple food,” he said, setting the tray on a small table in front of my fireplace. “Nobody here is a cook.”

  “It’s perfect.”

  He sat across from me, eyeing me like we were strangers. I tried to talk to him, but each time I did, his doubts about me were evident in his eyes. How could I say more when he was struggling to believe what I’d already said? Maybe none of it mattered. If Rosaleen could help me find a place to hide, I’d leave at my first opportunity and no one would ever see me again.

  I’d never see Simon again, which created a desperate ache in my heart. But that was better than sitting across from him as he pretended his hand wasn’t resting on the hilt of his sword, or that he had clearly left my door unlocked in case he should need to call for help. Anything was better than having to sit across from him now, wanting to be closer to him, to rest in his arms again, but to know that was no longer a possibility.

  Finally he said, “I think the best approach is to speak first to the people who are most likely to be on our side. Then we can use their help to convince the others who are most against you.”

  “No matter who speaks to him, Tenger will never change his mind about me.”

  Simon lowered his brows. “Tenger is dead, Kes. Joth killed him.”

  My breath lodged in my throat and I struggled for a way to respond. My relationship with Tenger had always been uneasy, and I had understood nearly from the beginning that he thought of me as little more than a tool to accomplish his goals. Yet it still hurt to hear this news, especially because I knew I bore some of the blame.

  Finally, I set down my cup. “I’m so sorry. When I shared powers with Joth, I didn’t know any of this would happen. I couldn’t see it.”

  “I know that.” His voice was more tender than I’d expected. “And we’ll make the people here understand it too.”

  I shook my head. “We will never get everyone to understand. As long as I’m here, I will be a source of division within the Alliance. I will splinter one person from another; I will divide you from the people you are supposed to lead. We both know that is true.”

  “We’ll just have to find a way!” Simon ran his fingers through his hair, and for the first time, he began to look as anxious as I felt. “We’ll talk to them, tell them everything you’ve told me—”

  “Do you believe what I’ve said?”

  Simon stopped, and when he locked eyes with me, my heart stopped, waiting for his answer. Finally, he whispered, “A lot has happened. I just need some time.”

  “So it’s not about convincing the others here to accept me. It’s about convincing you.”

  He leaned forward, and his gaze intensified. “I believe you, Kes, every word you’ve spoken here. I just need time to understand it all. Most people in the Alliance will feel the same way, and some may never understand. The person we need to worry about most is Gabe.”

  He was right. Gabe and I had not been on good terms for some time, though, admittedly, Gabe had his reasons. Among them, I had nearly poisoned Simon to death.

  “Gabe will not believe there is any chance you could be completely recovered,” Simon added, then fell silent as the door opened. I caught my breath in my throat. Gabe was on the other side.

  “Indeed, I don’t believe it,” he said, stepping into the room with three other well-armed Coracks, his eye on me as if I were about to attack.

  Simon stood, crossing in front of me with his hand at his sword. “How did you know?”

  “Drops of blood leading from where Rawk landed last night into Woodcourt. Someone noticed you loading a particularly large plate of food this morning and taking it to a room other than your own.” Gabe shrugged. “It wasn’t the hardest thing to figure out, Hatch.”

  Simon drew his sword, and I stood behind him. “Kestra is staying here, under my protection.”

  “No, she isn’t.” Gabe nudged the other Coracks forward. One raised a disk bow at me. Two others aimed at Simon. “Don’t make this a fight,” Gabe added. “All of us will lose if you do.”

  Simon huffed, then slowly lowered his sword. The disk archers remained in position.

  “We’re a fair people.” Gabe pulled out the same binding cord as he had once used to hold me prisoner in the Slots, and wrapped it again around my wrists. When I’d had magic, I could have escaped this with a single thought and casual tug of my arms, but now I would remain bound until Gabe released me.

  “Is that really necessary?” Simon asked. “She’s not our enemy.”

  “That’s what the trial will determine. Whatever is decided, Simon, you must accept her fate. If you refuse, we’ll pass sentence right now.”

  Simon looked over at me, and I felt his concern as a pit in my gut. “When is the trial?”

  Gabe frowned back at him. “We’re ready for her now.”

  Despite Kestra’s assurances that she had no ability to attack Gabe, he still insisted that her hands be bound before we left the room.

  She eyed him steadily as the binding cord went around her wrists. I wasn’t sure what she was thinking, but I knew her enough to know that she was masking a deep fear of what was about to happen.

  I could not hide my emotions nearly as well. My legs felt weak as I followed Kestra into the corridor. All I could do was to hope that this trial would be fair, as Gabe had promised, but given all that had happened over the past few days, I doubted that Gabe and I had the same understanding of justice.

  We were led to the ballroom of Woodcourt, the same place where, not so long ago, Basil and Kestra had come to be married. I had stood near the far wall, watching for an opportunity to get her out of Woodcourt. Should things go poorly, I might need to try the same escape again.

  But it would be impossible this time. The room was full of Alliance members, most of them armed. They parted for us to enter but quickly closed the gap behind us.

  I leaned in to Kestra. “You are not here alone. I am on your side.”

  “You may be the only one,” she replied.

  A dais was already in place, stretching across the entire front of the room. Five
chairs were set in a row on the left side with a single seat on the right that was offered to Kestra. She gave me one final smile of feigned confidence before stepping up. She attempted to sit tall, to seem unafraid, yet she looked so small up there, alone. Her hair was still undone, so it fell loosely around her shoulders, and her eyes intently scanned the audience. Her bound hands rested in her lap with the other end of the binding cord on Gabe’s wrist, and she interlocked her fingers to lessen their shaking.

  Gabe stood in the center of the platform. “It has been decided that each group here should have a vote. Guilt can be decided by majority vote, but innocence must be unanimous.”

  “How is that fair?” I asked. “That has never been our standard!”

  “But it must be now. The lives of every person in this room, indeed, of every citizen of Antora and beyond, will be affected by this vote. We must have a standard that ensures us all of her innocence. So if you have been chosen to represent your people, come forward.”

  Trina was the first to step forward for the Coracks, and Basil came next for Reddengrad. I was already tallying votes and believed they would vote in Kestra’s favor. Commander Reese of my cavalry came forward for the Halderians and would likely vote against her, as I expected would Imri Stout, from the Brill. An Antoran man came forward, introducing himself as Renn. I knew nothing of him, which made me nervous. Surely he knew that Kestra was raised as a Dallisor, and that would hardly work in her favor.

  Five judges, and three likely votes against her. Even by our usual standards, Kestra had already lost this trial.

  “I am here for my people too,” a woman said, stepping onto the dais.

  “We have all groups here,” Gabe said. “Who are you with?”

  “My name is Halina, and I am Navanese. Until yesterday, I was a half-life. Kestra restored me; I am here on behalf of those she has restored, and those she did not.”

  Gabe nodded. “Someone get us a sixth chair.”

  As they did, I glanced over at Kestra, whose eyes betrayed a greater fear at seeing Halina than anyone else. And she likely had a good reason to be nervous, based on Halina’s cold expression.

  “Let’s begin,” Gabe said. “Kestra Dallisor, what can you offer us in your defense?”

  Gabe had to ask the question a second time before Kestra tore her attention away from Halina. But when she did, she spoke calmly. “I can offer nothing at all until I know who you are putting on trial, and for what charges.”

  Gabe’s brows furrowed. “The answer to who is on trial should be obvious.”

  “But it’s not. Am I on trial for being a Dallisor, for having been raised in the Dominion? Or am I being tried as a half-Endrean, for having a similar bloodline as Lord Endrick? I am also half-Halderian as well as the heir to Woodcourt, which, in the absence of both Lord Endrick and my adoptive father, makes me the heir to the Scarlet Throne. So do you try me as your queen?”

  Gabe said, “Defend yourself with whichever of those identities best justifies your actions. For the charges against you are many, and they are serious. You are charged with treason, with the murder of hundreds of Ironhearts, not to mention all those who were assaulted by your magic. You are charged with the attempted murder of Simon Hatch, now a king. And with the attempted possession of a throne that does not belong to you, but to the people of Antora to choose for themselves who will rule there. How do you plead for these crimes?”

  “I cannot deny anything that I have done,” she said. “But I will deny that they were crimes.”

  Gabe had been studying the reaction of the audience to her confession of guilt, but now he turned back to her, genuinely confused. “Treason? Murder? Corruption—you deny these are crimes?”

  “Is treason a crime when the Coracks seek to replace the ruler?” She looked at Gabe directly. “Are you a traitor, Gabe? Or a patriot?”

  Caught off guard, he stumbled through his words. “I am … I have only sought for … for what I believe is best for my country.”

  “If that is the standard, then you must either pronounce me innocent or else offer your own neck beside mine when we hang.”

  I glanced over at the judges. All of them were nodding except for Halina and Imri, who exchanged a brief whispered conversation. That worried me.

  Recovering, Gabe said, “There is also murder. Do you deny poisoning Simon Hatch last fall, the effects of which nearly killed him?”

  Kestra looked down at me, attempting to remain calm, but I saw the sorrow in her eyes and I shook my head back at her, hoping she knew that I understood why she had done it. She said, “I concede that I was attempting to escape after Simon kidnapped me.”

  “And what of the Ironheart soldiers you tricked into lowering their weapons only five nights ago? After they did, you and Joth ordered their slaughter.”

  That prompted Kestra’s first big reaction. She sat up straighter and vehemently shook her head. “I swear that I did not know Joth was going to kill them. When I made the offer to set them free, that was sincere.”

  Gabe’s eyes narrowed, and he stared directly at her. “If that is true, then why did you leave with him? If you were truly shocked by those actions, I’d expect you to get as far away from Joth as you could.”

  “That wasn’t possible,” she said. “We were about to attack Lord Endrick. If I changed plans then, the attack would have failed!”

  From the line of judges, Halina said, “And during that attack, you ordered half-lives into your service. You must have known what Endrick would do to them.”

  “I didn’t know!”

  “The judges may not speak,” Gabe said, though it was too late. The damage had been done.

  Gabe continued. “How many of our own people did you assault with your magic, stealing as much strength as you needed for yourself, no matter the cost to them? Either you killed them, or you nearly did, on more than one occasion.”

  “I took nothing more than I needed, and only when I needed it.” Kestra’s tone was becoming increasingly anxious.

  “But when was it your right to take anything from them at all?” Gabe asked.

  “When I became the Infidante!” Kestra nearly shouted the words, though in frustration more than anger. “When suddenly I became this person who alone could kill Lord Endrick! Did anyone really believe there would be no price for that, that no sacrifices would have to be made other than by me? Gabe, you have seen me in battle, and you have been with me when I have had to make those decisions. You know for yourself that I never touched any life without a reason.”

  Gabe let the effect of her words settle in the room before he said, “I saw it when the reason was selfishness. What about those who have been killed in your place when you refused to come forward?”

  She tilted her head. “Who do you mean?”

  “Simon’s mother, Tillie.”

  That seemed to rob her of her breath. Kestra only lowered her eyes, and in a voice almost too soft to hear, she whispered, “Guilty.”

  I had entered this trial thinking that I was prepared for anything for which I might be accused and had believed that I had defended myself well.

  Until this moment.

  Gabe had brought Simon’s mother into this trial, and suddenly I no longer cared to fight. Maybe while under the influence of so much corruption, I had dismissed her death, but now, my senses had returned to me every whisper of heartache that I had carried since the moment I’d first understood the danger she was in. What was the point of defending myself now, when he had opened this festering wound, one almost beyond my ability to bear? If this was Gabe’s route to my conviction, then maybe he was right.

  “You admit your guilt, then,” Gabe said.

  “She tried to save my mother.” Simon stepped forward, almost directly in front of me but addressing the judges. “I was there. I stopped her from entering my mother’s home. She fought me and begged me to let her go, but we couldn’t lose the Infidante.” Then his eyes settled on Gabe. “Kestra fought to save you too, once you
entered that same home. That’s when she finally got her way. Did you know that, Gabe, that she sacrificed herself to save you?”

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Gabe look at me, but I kept my head down.

  Simon continued. “The consequences of what she did led to Lord Endrick crushing her heart. She needed magic to survive it, something that would never have been necessary had she selfishly kept her place while you were killed that night.”

  Gabe went silent for some time after that. I needed the silence too, to gather my own emotions. Was it possible that Simon no longer blamed me for his mother’s death? Could I hope for that?

  Finally, in a quieter voice, Gabe said, “Whether she wanted the magic or not, and whether it is fair or not, she has become corrupted. Like any infection, if it is not healed, it is fatal. In Kestra’s case, it could be fatal to all of us here as well.”

  I looked over at him. Nothing in this trial was more important than making him understand this single issue. “The corruption is gone. All magic I once had, that I’ve ever had, is gone.”

  “Impossible!” Gabe crossed in front of me, his expression leaving no doubt that he believed I was lying. “Loelle assured us that she investigated every hope for pulling magic from you and none of them would work without killing you.”

  “It is not impossible.” I held up my bound arms. “Do you think I would accept this if with a breath of magic I could pull my hands apart and set myself free?”

  “Can you prove the magic is gone?” Gabe asked.

  From the far end of the room, I saw a person push forward, his head cloaked, but he lowered the hood once he reached the front of the crowd.

  I had already recognized him. “Father!” His face was bruised and his expression was strained, but he was here and alive. That alone gave me hope and a joy beyond anything I could have imagined, even given my circumstances.