The Warrior's Curse

by Jennifer A. Nielsen

  Darrow smiled at me, as if to say everything would be all right. Somehow, despite the rumbling pit in my stomach and the persistent throbbing in my head, I believed him. I believed my father.

  Standing beside Simon, Darrow addressed the judges directly. “Loelle was always correct. Magic cannot be taken from a person without killing them. That’s what happened to Kestra on that dueling platform. She was dead when I found her, but she had left behind a means with which I could start her heart beating again.”

  “Through magic,” Gabe said.

  “The magic was used on her,” Darrow said. “It didn’t come from within her.”

  “How do we know that?” Gabe turned back to me. “Kestra, none of us here, myself included, wants to pronounce you guilty of anything, I swear that. But if there is still magic within you, then corruption will follow. Can you prove that it is gone?”

  A hush fell over the crowd. If I lost the trial, this would be the reason why. But I would not bow down to this fight.

  “Prove that you wanted a fair trial,” I replied, feeling my temper begin to burn. To the judges, I added, “Prove that your decision wasn’t already made long before this trial began, that you came here with every intention of giving me a chance at freedom. If you cannot prove these simple things, then how dare you vote against me?”

  “They are not on trial,” Gabe said. “Please, Kestra, there must be some way to assure us the corruption is gone. Give us that proof, and I will call for a vote right now.”

  “How can I prove what is not?” I asked. “Can I prove that I have never seen a falling star? Never danced in the moonlight? Can I prove what is not in my mind, not in my heart?”

  “Then how can we set you free?” Gabe shook his head. “I’m sorry, Kestra, I really am.”

  “I can prove it.” Darrow pulled a confused-looking Harlyn forward from the audience and spoke to her. “Shoot me with your disk bow. Somewhere that might be fatal if I am not given the strength to heal.”

  I stood, shouting, “Father, no!”

  “That is my daughter,” Darrow said to the judges. “If there is even the tiniest bit of magic still within her, she will use it to save me. If she does not, it will only be because she cannot. And then you must find her innocent.”

  “No!” I started to run down the dais, but two Coracks behind me each grabbed an arm. I searched for any magic within me to drop the two of them to the ground, I genuinely did. If I had found any at all, I would have done it, no matter what it would have meant for me.

  “That is my offer, then,” Darrow said to Gabe. “I will provide the proof you require for her innocence.”

  “Don’t do this!” I cried. “Gabe, I confess. I confess to the accusations, every one of them. We all know you were going to punish me anyway. So do what you will to me, but do not allow this.”

  Simon stepped between Harlyn and Darrow. “Gabe, this has gone too far. If you order Harlyn to shoot this innocent man, I will take the disk myself.”

  “But I am not targeting you, nor Darrow.” Harlyn aimed her disk bow directly at me. “Kestra has confessed, and now she must pay.”

  “Harlyn, no!” Simon cried.

  “If it saves Darrow, then let her do it!” I shouted. “I’ve lost him too many times already. It will destroy me to lose another person that I love.”

  The room had gone still, and I had all but stopped breathing. I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable. I’d been struck with a disk before, I knew what to expect. It would bite, the sting would spread from the wound, then it would be over.

  I waited, but nothing happened. And when I finally opened my eyes, Harlyn was lowering her bow. She said, “There is your proof, Gabe. The corrupted cannot love.”

  If there had been silence before, a single falling snowflake could have been detected in here now.

  “Call for the vote,” Simon said.

  Behind Gabe, Trina stood. “My vote is innocent, on all charges.”

  Basil immediately followed. “Innocent.”

  Next, the Antoran stood. “We have no love for the Dallisors, but she is clearly not a Dallisor. We have no love for the Endreans, but there seems to be no magic in her. The fact that this girl has had to bear the weight of both those cursed houses is punishment enough. Innocent.”

  Halina, the girl who had been a half-life, stood. She had stared at me for the entire trial, without a glimmer of sympathy. I was terrified of what she might say, which only worsened when she began. “It was my plan from the beginning to vote against you. I can admit that because my reasons were just. You restored my life only because our king forced you to do it. And when you did it, you robbed me of my magic, a magic you now claim is completely gone, which means what you took from me can never be restored.”

  Tears had welled in my eyes, and all the words that came to my mind were inadequate to explain myself. I was so deeply sorry, and yet, if I were in the situation again, I would have to do the same thing. How could I possibly tell her that?

  Then Halina said, “If those were the charges of this trial, I would be the vote that determined your execution. But you are charged with treason and murder and corruption. If you are guilty of treason, then so are we all. I was one of those who obeyed Joth’s orders to kill the Ironhearts. I cannot find you guilty of murder and justify myself. You are also charged with corruption, and you were corrupt, Kestra. I know the hold it had on you. However, nothing I saw then remains in you now. Reluctantly, I must vote innocent.”

  I hadn’t realized how long it had been since I’d breathed, but finally I exhaled and looked over at Simon, who didn’t seem nearly as relieved as I had hoped. His attention was on his commander, who stood and gave only a slight nod at Simon before addressing me.

  “Half-Halderian is half a reason to believe your words. I am a father too, and I know what I would risk for the life of my daughter. It is the purest love. Seeing her willingness to sacrifice her own life is a sign of that same love.” He hesitated a moment, then said, “Innocent.”

  I smiled, and then my eyes fell upon Imri Stout. If she was not convinced, none of the votes already cast would make any difference. And I already knew by the sour expression on her face that she had no sympathy for me.

  Imri stood. “The question is not your guilt or innocence. It’s what we are willing to risk for our vote. There is a great risk if I say you are innocent. If you have fooled us all, then we will lose everything. But there is little risk if I vote for your guilt. Even if I am wrong, all that we have lost is one life that is no longer of any use to us.”

  I said nothing more for my defense. It was obvious how she intended to vote.

  Imri continued. “The Scarlet Throne is now occupied by a person who has declared himself king. He has Lord Endrick’s magic, your magic, and any magic that was born into him. What is your plan to stop him, should we release you? If it is true, that you have no magic, then I say you are not worth the risk.”

  “I wasn’t fully honest before,” I said, and heads in the audience shot up. “It is true, that I have no magic within me. But I do have magic.” With my hands still bound by Gabe’s rope, I reached into the satchel at my side and withdrew the second of the disks that I had made last night. “Joth and I shared the same powers. Whatever I had, he still has. Just as Lord Endrick created the Olden Blade, I created this disk. And as the Blade could kill Endrick—”

  “This disk can kill Joth,” Imri finished. She stared at me for some time, her expression warming with respect. After a deep sigh, she added, “Regardless of my personal beliefs of your guilt, I also believe that we need you alive if we are going to finish this war. Therefore, my vote is innocent.”

  A cheer rose up in pockets around the room, though there were also plenty of people who eyed me with suspicion. I supposed it would take time to convince them, if I ever did. Gabe frowned at me, but the binding cord released from around my wrists.

  Simon ran onto the dais, took me by the hand, and led me from the room.
>
  We had just entered the corridor when Gabe’s voice called from behind for us to stop. Simon squeezed my hand tighter, and his other hand went to the hilt of his sword.

  “It’s over. The trial has been decided,” he snarled.

  Gabe spoke firmly, without emotion. “Yes, but I have not decided.”

  Simon turned, putting me behind him and making it clear with the position of his body that he would fight if necessary. “You were the accuser, Gabe. You cannot be that and the judge. Unless you intend to rewrite the rules again.”

  Gabe held up his hands, keeping distance between us. “She has her freedom, but Joth is still on that throne, and we must decide what to do next.” He kicked at the ground. “No, I must decide what to do next. Kestra seems to have a plan. I have to decide whether to follow her. Whether to believe she is the person you think she is.”

  “Follow us, or don’t,” Simon said. “You were supposed to be my friend, and until the last few days, you were one of the few people I trusted, no matter what else was happening.”

  “I’m still that friend, Simon. Haven’t you said yourself that your feelings for Kestra would get in the way of making the right decisions? I was protecting you, and everyone on our side, everyone you are supposed to be leading! I’ve proven my friendship!”

  “Have you?” Simon’s hands curled into fists. “If this is your idea of friendship, then it is one I don’t need.”

  He tried to lead me away, but I crossed in front of him and said, “We need every person we can get. I’d like to talk to Gabe.”

  “Talk?” Gabe arched a brow. “Are you going to grab my arm and turn me into a puddle on the ground?”

  “If I could, I’d be thinking about it. Some of your accusations went too far.”

  Gabe stared at me without expression, then gestured for the two of us to walk. I whispered to Simon that we would be all right, and he stayed back, though his hand had returned to his sword. I didn’t think Gabe would try anything, not after the judges had just decided my innocence. But I had a knife in my boot, and I could get to it if necessary.

  After we had rounded our first corner and Simon was out of sight, Gabe said, “If you knew my history, you would understand why I made those accusations. I grew up with the Coracks, fought the Dominion my entire life, considered every Dallisor I encountered an enemy, because they always were. When Simon joined up, he and I fought together, and no matter what, he was always there when I needed him. Then he met you and everything flipped upside down. It didn’t matter anymore that you were a Dallisor, or worse, that you were Endrean. He somehow ignored the fact that you nearly killed him. It took the death of his mother for him to finally question his relationship with you. And once you obtained magic, he should have ended any connection with you, but he didn’t.”

  I wasn’t sure what Gabe expected me to say to that. He didn’t know my history either, yet he had presumed to cast every sort of judgment upon me.

  He continued. “I made those accusations because I had to protect the people in that room. Kestra, if you were lying—if you are still lying about your abilities—I had a duty to do everything I could for them.”

  “I did not lie, not once.”

  “You are still Endrean, and could reclaim your magic. Then the cycle would repeat itself. We can never fully trust you.”

  I stopped and stared at him. “Do you think you are immune from any sort of corruption? That the lack of magic somehow shields a person from ever causing harm to another, or abusing their position of power? You have sided against me at nearly every opportunity since the day we met, so how can I ever trust you?”

  That seemed to affect him. After a pause, he asked, “Will you walk away now? Most people would. They’d count themselves lucky to still be alive and would get as far from this coming fight as possible.”

  “I bear some blame for Joth being on that throne. So I must be part of the plan to remove him.” I shrugged. “Most people would walk away. I cannot.”

  “Perhaps you should,” he added. “Six judges found you innocent, but that does not mean all their people agree with their decision. Can you be sure that a stray disk won’t accidentally catch you from behind?”

  Slowly, I nodded. “Will it be your stray disk?” It was a sincere question.

  “Answer me this: Why did you make that disk you showed us in the trial? If the corruption was still inside you, why would you do such a selfless thing?”

  I shrugged. “It was never selfless. I thought the Olden Blade would kill Joth, just as it did Lord Endrick. But I also knew there was a chance of failure and that he would take my magic. So I gave myself a way to get the magic back. That black disk contains Endrick’s ability to take a person’s magic by killing them. That was my plan if everything else failed.”

  Gabe seemed to be sincere in trying to understand me. “It still is your plan, I assume. You’ll shoot Joth with that disk, and if it kills him, all his powers will come to you.”

  “That was my plan at first, but it cannot be me to wield that disk. I am no longer the Infidante. That was proven when I tried to attack Joth with the Olden Blade.”

  “And why did you do that? You must have known that if you failed, you would lose all your magic.”

  “That was the most selfish part of all. I knew that Joth was fighting Simon, and that Joth would do whatever was necessary to win.” I drew in a slow breath. “I attacked Joth because it was my only chance of saving Simon’s life. Whatever happened to me, I could not let him die.”

  “Why not?”

  I wished the conversation had gone in any other direction. I pressed my lips together, then said, “You believe that the corruption took me over, that it was the whole of my identity. And you are almost entirely correct about that. Almost.”

  Gabe shook his head. “Kestra, I saw you with the corruption. It controlled you.”

  “You have no idea how strong it was, Gabe. How it filled me, how its weight tried to push out every good part of me. But there was always a piece of me that it could not touch. This fraction of my heart showed mercy to Harlyn in the throne room, tried to warn you in Highwyn of the condors overhead. That piece of my heart could not be touched because it loved so much. I loved Simon with a power greater than magic … I still do.”

  Gabe glanced down, doubting me. But finally, he said, “Well, we have one thing in common. Simon is—or was—my best friend. And you were the girl he once loved. For his sake, we may have to learn to work together.”

  My smile quickly faded into something far more serious. “We must work together, Gabe. Whatever our disagreements, I am not your enemy, nor are you mine. We have one common enemy now sitting on the Scarlet Throne. If we spend all our energy fighting each other, that only benefits him.”

  “Agreed.”

  Gabe shrugged and looked as if he were about to walk on, then said, “When I said you were the girl he once loved, that wasn’t the full truth. He still loves you, Kestra.”

  My face flushed, though not for the reasons Gabe might have thought. I shook my head, trying to push down the emotions that were rising in me. Hope was a dangerous thing, and I couldn’t allow Gabe to threaten me with it. “Simon cares for me, and perhaps he always will, but I know the love is gone. He and Harlyn will marry; that’s the plan.”

  Gabe stepped closer to me. “When Harlyn entered Simon’s life, she should have been the most obvious decision. Even though you weren’t there, you still stood between them. I went on patrols with her, saw her after she’d leave meals with Simon. I talked with her hour after hour some evenings, trying to explain Simon to her, trying to explain you. Simon loves you, Kestra, and if you don’t know it, then you are the only one.”

  I smiled, not only because I believed him, which sent a rush of joy into my heart. But also because I finally understood Gabe as well. I said, “That must be the way you love Harlyn. I hear it in your voice when you say her name.”

  Gabe opened his mouth to object, then let out a heavy sigh
and nodded. “I have learned to love her in silence. She never sees me—”

  “I see you now.”

  Gabe turned and saw Harlyn approaching us in the corridor. She shrugged with some shyness and stepped forward. “I came out to be sure everything was all right. I didn’t expect …” She glanced up at Gabe. “I didn’t know.”

  Gabe merely stared at her, possibly struck dumb.

  I smiled at Gabe. “From now on, you and I will fight together, and on the same side. We will defeat Joth Tarquin.”

  He stuck out a hand, barely aware of me anymore. “Agreed.”

  I shook it, then with a backward grin at Harlyn, said, “I suspect you two want to be left alone now.”

  Simon was waiting around the first corner after I left Gabe and Harlyn behind. I startled at first to see him, but his smile was wide and the warm expression of his eyes pulled me toward him. I glanced back briefly, then said, “Did you hear—”

  “Everything.” He cradled my face in his hands and kissed me, sending warmth throughout my body, the kind of beautiful heat no magic could ever imitate.

  A ceremony was held that night for the destruction of the Olden Blade. The full Alliance was in attendance, with two notable exceptions: Loelle, who said that while she did not support the actions of her son, she could not strike against him either. Nor was Imri Stout there, although most of the Brill were. She sent an excuse that she preferred to work toward improving the growing technologies of her people rather than to see the dying magic of another people.

  A fire was built in the center of the courtyard, stoked with oils to intensify the heat, and indeed, by the time the ceremony began, the fire could be felt from the farthest corners of the courtyard.

  As others talked of the battles they’d seen already and tried to anticipate the challenges yet to come, I only stood in front of the fire, staring at the flames. The Olden Blade was in my hands. How comfortable it had become there, like it was part of me. For a while, it had been part of me—its magic was my magic, its purpose was mine as well.