Secrets of Silvergum

by Mandy Magro

  ‘How long ago was this?’

  She was terrified of answering but had to. ‘At Riley’s eighth birthday party.’

  Zane looked as if she’d just king hit him in the chest. He shook his head and turned away from her. And then he paced, his expression hardening with each and every weighty step.

  ‘Zane?’ Nervous, she chewed her fingernail.

  Steely silence met her. All the dreams she’d carefully stored away in her heart were tossed to the wayside. It was so stupid of her to think this was something they might have been able to work through. There’d be no going back from here. Not ever.

  ‘Zane, please say something, anything. Yell at me if you have to.’ She took a few hesitant steps towards him. He didn’t answer. Just stopped pacing and stood there, silently, staring right through her, his fists clenched at his sides. A muscle in his jaw ticked. His breath was heavy, strained. His handsome face looked as if it were carved from stone, the rage growing in his stormy eyes.

  ‘I’ve wanted to tell you the truth, so many times, but was terrified of you reacting like this.’ She blinked, trying desperately not to let the tears fall.

  ‘Please, just leave.’ His words burnt, scorched her already bleeding heart to a crisp.

  ‘Can’t we at least talk about this?’

  ‘No,’ he boomed. He pointed to the door. ‘Please, leave, now.’

  The tears she’d done so well keeping at bay slipped and fell down her cheeks. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she turned away from him – wishing he would forgive her, comfort her. Anything but this.

  ‘And, Em …’

  She stopped, hopeful.

  ‘Don’t tell Riley.’

  Nodding, she turned and kept walking, leaving her heart and soul behind, where it belonged, with Zane.

  CHAPTER 23

  Four weeks later

  Zane’s mobile buzzed from the dash. Grabbing it, he noted the caller ID before drawing in a deep calming breath. ‘Hey, Emma.’ It had been the most he’d said to her since the day she’d told him about Riley.

  ‘Hey, yourself.’ She cleared her throat. ‘I just wanted to congratulate you on your win at court yesterday.’

  ‘Yeah, thanks, it was Kay’s will and the recovery of the gun from Peter’s office that did it.’ His stubborn ego rearing its ugly head, he reminded himself of what Emma had also done to help make it all happen – not that it changed a thing as far as they were concerned. ‘Cheers for your affidavit and for taking the stand to back it up.’

  ‘Of course, it’s the least I could do. I’m so relieved to know there was nothing in the safe to incriminate me, despite what Peter had said in his letter. Not that there could have been, but we both know he could do almost anything.’

  He silently agreed with her. ‘How’s Riley coping with it all?’

  ‘Yeah, okay, I suppose. In a way it’s helped her to see the man Peter was, and she’s come to understand why he and I never saw eye to eye.’

  Indicating, he turned towards home. ‘Well, that’s a good thing.’

  ‘Uh-huh,’ Emma said.

  Silence fell and then hung.

  ‘Anyway, I’m driving, so I better get off the phone.’ Not that it had ever bothered him before, but he needed an out; everything between them was still too raw.

  ‘Yup, okay, but before you go …’

  ‘Yeah?’ Oh god he ached to tell her that he loved her, and that he forgave her – but he wasn’t ready yet and wasn’t sure he ever would be.

  ‘We can’t leave everything like this, Zane.’ Her tone toughened. ‘Regardless of how angry you are with me, and how much you want to pretend I don’t exist, Riley deserves to know you’re her father. Just remember, she’s innocent in all of this.’ She sighed. ‘I just really hope you want to be a part of her life.’

  Zane huffed, disappointed with himself. Emma was right – their grievances had nothing to do with Riley. He was acting like a damn child by wallowing in his anger and disappointment. ‘Of course I want her in my life, and I want to be in hers.’ And he meant it, from the depths of his heart.

  ‘You do?’

  ‘Yes, of course I do. I love her, and I’m proud as punch I’m her father.’ He wanted to tell Emma he was going to get around to doing the right thing – he just needed some time to let it all sink in, but bit his tongue.

  ‘That’s so great.’ She breathed a sigh of relief. ‘I was thinking, if you agreed, that maybe we could camp out for a night and tell her then, away from everything else.’

  ‘If that’s what you think is best.’

  ‘I think it’s one of the better ways to break it to her, out where she’s most at peace, yes.’

  ‘Okay then, when?’ He knew he was being short but couldn’t help it.

  ‘Tomorrow night, if you’re free. We can leave here mid-afternoon.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll be over at your place sometime after midday.’

  ‘Great, thanks, Zane.’

  ‘Riley’s my daughter, so don’t mention it.’ It felt strange, saying it out loud, but he liked the sound of it – very much.

  ‘Bye.’

  ‘Catch you tomorrow.’

  Tossing the mobile onto the dash, his stomach backflipped as he turned down the familiar dirt road. Not only because they would soon be telling Riley he was her father, but also because this was it, he was going home, and this time it would be for good. Permanency was a foreign feeling for him, and he wasn’t sure how it settled within his travelling soul. But he wouldn’t want it any other way – especially having Riley as his neighbour now.

  Pleased to be free of the stuffy hotel room he’d been living out of for the past four weeks, he pulled his LandCruiser to a stop at the gate of Wattle Acres and then regarded the urn safely belted up against the passenger seat. It had been a fairly easy process to have his biological mother’s ashes released from the neighbouring township’s crematorium. At Zane’s request, the judge who had heard his case ordered Alison Yate’s remains to be passed over to him with a crash of his gavel. Just as Kay’s ashes were there, as was her spirit, he’d spread Alison’s in the same place in Wattle Acres. This was where they belonged. The woman who had carried him and the woman who had raised him. Martin Turner’s remains, which had been recovered from the makeshift grave in the Silvergum National Park, could stay where they were now, in a simple plot at the local cemetery. One day, Zane might be ready to visit him.

  With shaky hands he pressed the remote to open the gates and rubbed his sweaty hands over his jean-clad thighs. He imagined the sign he was having made for his bull-riding rodeo school hanging above them – and he welled with pride as the flash new gates swung open in wide arcs. He’d decided this level of security was necessary, given how heated Michael was outside of the courthouse. He’d yelled out to anyone who’d listen that he would make Zane pay.

  Let him try …

  Rattling over a cattle grid, he shifted through the gears, accelerating as he headed up the long, winding dirt drive. As he cleared the top of the rise, he saw the picturesque acreage sprawled out before him, and the magnificent old homestead. He cut the engine, the pounding of his heart growing stronger as he tried to get his head around the fact that all of this was now legally his. It had been a bittersweet victory – having to hear all the sordid details of his father’s death while bearing witness to the black-and-white photos of his shallow grave and skeletal remains. The solicitor he’d hired from the big smoke of Sydney had fought hard, but fair, in the courtroom. Michael hadn’t had a chance in hell of winning, no matter who he was rubbing shoulders with. The evidence had been overwhelming.

  As much as some thought it should, it didn’t give Zane an ounce of satisfaction to see Michael stripped of his right to be a lawyer. There was nothing to be gained from being revengeful. And although he never wished to speak to him again, he was relieved Michael wasn’t charged as an accessory to a murder Peter had so callously committed, the judge ruling that he, Michael and Emma were young and impre
ssionable at the time. He said they had been brainwashed into believing they had to do what Peter told them to do or pay the price. The judge made it clear that, in his opinion, Peter Wolfe was the devil himself.

  Retrieving his bag from the back seat, and the urn from the front, he made his way over to the front door. Slipping the key into the new locks he’d had put in, he smiled as he stepped inside. All Peter’s personal belongings long gone, it was a clean slate for him to start a new life. One he had decided he wanted to share with Riley. No matter how much he still loved Emma, he just didn’t know if he could ever get past her keeping something so life-altering from him. He wasn’t sure if he could ever look at Emma in the same way again. Tomorrow would be the first time they’d been in each other’s company, outside of the courtroom, since the morning after making such beautiful, soul-deep love. It would be interesting to see how it all unfolded.

  * * *

  As the sun sank below the distant mountaintops, a sudden chill filled the night air. The three of them were sitting on a log Zane had dragged into the camp, enjoying the welcoming warmth of the campfire and the sight of the heavens filled with seemingly endless stars. They ate their camp stew in grateful silence, plates precariously balanced on their knees.

  Cutting three more pieces of damper, Emma gave one to Riley and then offered Zane a piece. ‘Would you like another, to mop up all the yummy juices?’

  ‘Does a bear shit in the woods?’

  Riley gave him a slap and laughed through her mouthful of food. ‘Uncle Zane, that’s gross.’

  ‘Nah, it’s not, Riles, it’s nature,’ he teased.

  Emma flashed him a look of sympathy when Riley called him ‘uncle’. He smiled back and shrugged gently. Not long now and that would all change. He was just waiting for Emma’s first move to break the news to their daughter. The thought both excited and terrified him, for Riley’s sake. Thinking about this, he mopped up the stew on his plate, shoved the damper in his mouth, and stood up. Suddenly feeling nervous as all hell, he needed to move. Collecting Emma and Riley’s plates, he headed over to the bowl of sudsy water and washed them up, along with the empty cast-iron pot. Placing another log on the dwindling fire, he watched the sparks dance and twirl into the night sky, the glow of it lightening up Riley’s pretty face. The blue eyes, the wavy hair, and the way she smiled as she talked to Emma – how could he have not seen the similarities there before?

  Stretching her arms in the air, Riley yawned. ‘I think I’m going to hit the sack.’

  Emma looked to her watch. ‘It’s only seven-thirty, that’s a record for you, love.’ She threw Zane a subtle sideways glance.

  ‘Yeah, I know it’s super early, but all this fresh air makes a girl tired, I tell ya.’

  ‘Yeah, it does, huh.’ Emma gave her a tight hug. ‘Night, love, sleep well.’

  ‘Night, Mum.’ She padded over to Zane and gave him a hug too. ‘Night, Uncle Zane, sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite.’

  ‘I’ll try not to.’ Zane kissed her on the forehead. ‘Night, sweetheart.’

  With the fear of a snake crawling into her bed, Riley had set up her swag on the back of Zane’s LandCruiser. She climbed up and settled in, her soft snores announcing she was fast asleep only minutes later.

  ‘Far out, she really was tired,’ Zane said with a chuckle.

  Emma held her hands up to the fire, twisting them back and forth as she warmed them. ‘She’s right, though, being out under a blanket of stars does make you feel sleepy.’ She yawned. ‘It’s catching.’

  Zane turned to her, his heart reaching for hers. ‘I reckon I might hit the sack too, then.’

  ‘Actually, me too.’ Emma padded over to her swag.

  Stretched out in his swag, gazing up at the Southern Cross and the sweep of the Milky Way, Zane released a pent-up breath. ‘We have to tell her soon.’

  ‘I know. Let her have a good night’s sleep and we’ll tell her first thing in the morning.’

  ‘Promise.’

  ‘You have my word.’ She glanced over at him, and the same familiar blaze of heat shot through him. He was never going to be able to get away from what she did to him, and so innocently too.

  ‘Okay, night,’ he mumbled, turning so his back was to her.

  ‘Night, Zane,’ she whispered.

  * * *

  Up before first light, Zane boiled the billy over the glow of the campfire just as the sun began its ascent into a pink-hued sky. Stirring and then climbing from her swag, Emma joined him. It was not long after that Riley came over too, a huge smile on her face as she looked to where the new day was breaking in a jaw-dropping sunrise.

  ‘Wow, what a glorious sleep,’ she said, raising her hands up high and stretching up on her tippy toes.

  ‘That’s good, love.’ Emma’s voice shook. She patted the log beside her. ‘Come, sit. We have something we need to tell you.’

  Riley’s smile all but disappeared as she walked towards her mum. ‘This sounds serious.’ She looked to Zane for answers, but with his heart in his throat he remained tight-lipped. She sat, her expression one of deep concern. ‘What is it?’

  Emma took Riley by the hands and held them tight. Zane shifted from boot to boot, not knowing where to stand or what he should be doing. Taking a deep breath, as if drawing strength from the untainted land around them, he watched Emma and slowly released it.

  ‘Riley, there’s no easy way to tell you this.’

  ‘Oh my god, Mum, are you sick? Have you got cancer?’

  ‘No, nothing like that.’ She looked to Zane, and then back to Riley. ‘Years ago, Zane and I went on a date.’

  ‘You did?’ Although her eyes were as wide as saucers, Riley was smirking now.

  ‘Yes, and one thing led to another, and well, Riley, Zane is your father.’

  Tearing her hands from Emma’s, Riley stood and stepped back. ‘What did you just say?’

  Zane took a few hesitant steps towards her. ‘I’m your dad, Riley.’

  She laughed and shoved her hands in her pockets. ‘You’re kidding, right?’

  Emma and Zane both shook their heads.

  Her hands moving to cover her gaping mouth, Riley kept shaking her head. She stepped back further, away from them, her eyes filling with tears. Turning, she ran for where she’d tethered Boomerang to the LandCruiser. Tugging herself up, she jumped on bareback and then cued Boomerang into action.

  ‘Riley, please wait,’ Emma called after her.

  But like a bullet fired, she was gone, Boomerang’s thudding hooves disappearing into the thick scrub.

  ‘We have to go after her.’ Emma’s face was as pale as a ghost.

  Hating to see Riley so distraught, Zane wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but he also understood her need to run and get some headspace. That was what he always did when something was too hard to face straight away. ‘Do you think that’s wise?’ He sighed. ‘Maybe we should give her time to let it sink in, before we go chasing after her?’

  Emma raked a hand through her hair. ‘Maybe.’

  The silence that fell between them was broken by a single, high-pitched scream.

  Fear exploded in Zane’s chest. He shook some sense into himself, and racing forwards, began following the hoof tracks. With no other horses, and the track too narrow for his LandCruiser, he’d have to look for her on foot. His boots slipped on wet leaves, and he caught Emma as she stumbled over fallen branches beside him. Blinded by her tears, she struggled down the slippery slope, holding tightly to his hand, her whispers to God, begging for Riley to be okay, tearing his heart to pieces. Thundering hooves approached and Boomerang galloped towards them. Wooing the gelding up and then soothing him, Zane hoisted himself onto his back. Holding out his hand, he then helped Emma up.

  He tapped her leg. ‘You right to go, Em?’

  ‘Yes, go, please, and hurry.’

  Zane enticed Boomerang onwards, his eyes switching from the hoof marks to the thick scrub he was trying to weave throug
h. It seemed to be taking forever, but cresting the ridge, he spotted Riley, lying alongside a huge fallen tree trunk. Although they were still a distance away, he could see she wasn’t moving and his heart almost exploded in fear.

  ‘Oh my god, Riley.’ Emma’s cry was almost primal, her pain unfathomable.

  Horrified but refusing to show it, so he remained a pillar of support for Emma, Zane quickly directed Boomerang over to Riley.

  Coming to a halt, Zane saw that her face was pale and filled with pain.

  ‘I’m okay, I think I’ve just broken my leg.’ Her brave words contrasted with the tremor in her voice.

  Zane felt himself slump and breathe out, as if he’d been holding it for a lifetime. Not a religious man, he still thanked God for answering Emma’s prayers.

  ‘Oh, Riley, sweetheart …’ Emma cried, as she quickly slid off the horse and crouched at Riley’s side.

  Zane followed her, overwhelmed with relief as he knelt alongside their daughter. Adrenaline and terror lingered in his body like a bad aftertaste, and he watched Emma lean over and gently pull Riley into her arms, and then weep from the depths of her heart. He didn’t want to disturb them, but from the way Riley’s leg looked, he knew they had to get her to the hospital as quickly as they could. He knew all too well, with an injury like that, once the shock wore off, immense pain was going to kick in. He wanted his beautiful daughter to have relief from it sooner rather than later.

  He gently touched Emma’s back, and she let go and sat up, although her hand remained clasped around Riley’s. ‘I’m going to have to carry you to the LandCruiser, Riley,’ he said, brushing hair from her dirt-smudged cheek.

  Biting her lip, Riley nodded. ‘Okay.’

  Very carefully, he scooped her into his arms and cradled her against his chest as he rose.

  Riley’s pain-filled eyes falling upon his, she wrapped her arms around his neck and then tucked her face into his shoulder. ‘It hurts so much.’

  ‘I know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.’ He choked back his emotions – they weren’t going to do him any favours.

  ‘I’m the one that should be sorry,’ Riley whispered through her tears.