by K. M. Raya
Once their clothes were gone, Sebastian became more frenzied. His hands roamed her body as he made love to her right there on the library sofa. He pushed his hard length into her with ease, causing her to cry out. Her every sense was filled with nothing but him. He grazed her leg, touching the mangled scars but didn't hesitate for a single second. He thrust faster and faster, pushing her further into the cushions of the couch and causing it to rock. His fingers tangled in her hair and the only sounds in the building were those of his skin slapping against hers.
She breathed a sigh of relief and contentment as he continued to love her and caress her everywhere. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once and she couldn’t get enough. The room grew humid and she prayed that nobody would walking in on them. Her body spasmed around him as he thrust one final time before moaning into the crook between her neck and shoulder.
His breaths were still labored later as they laid there side by side. His arm was slung around her and her head was tucked beneath his chin. Sebastian had pulled a blanket from somewhere, she didn't care where, and covered them when it became chilly again.
"That was incredible," he told her as she drew circles with her finger on his bare chest.
"I always knew it would be."
"What does this mean though?" She asked hesitantly. She almost regretted asking.
He pulled in a heavy breath and released it slowly. "I honestly have no idea. Everything's so fucked up."
She began to pull away but he squeezed her tightly to his side. "But that doesn't mean I regret anything. I swear it. We just need to take this a step at a time and figure it out."
She knew he was right. But it didn't make it hurt any less. Had this occurred the summer before, she would have been over the moon and shouting her triumph from the rooftops.
She pulled herself up, bringing the blanket with her and tried not to blush. He had already seen all she had to offer, but the moment was over now and her nakedness made her uneasy.
"Leaving already? Freya, I swear I didn't mean anything by it..." He started to say but she held her hand up gently to stop him before he started.
"No, it's not that. I really need to get back to the cabin. If you haven’t noticed, the sun is up and people are going to start showing up soon." She threw on her pants and shirt with haste, hoping the door to the library would stay shut.
"Last night was amazing. It was everything I have ever imagined it would be okay? I promise," she assured him and his worry fled his expression.
"Okay, as long as that's all it is. I should be heading in too." He stood and dressed before wrapping his arms around her again. "It'll be alright Frey. I can't promise you I won't be difficult sometimes, or that I wont mess up. It might take time but something's got to give eventually alright?" His words were lighthearted, but there was an undertone of genuine worry there.
"Yeah... eventually." She nodded and planted a soft kiss on his cheek before turning and exiting the small, stuffy room. She left him staring after her and didn't dare to turn back one last time.
Freya
"Happy Birthday!" Came a series of shouts as Freya stepped out of the bathroom after a nice long shower. She jumped back with a yelp and a hand pressed to her chest as she looked around the room.
Her roommates stood before her with Maverick, Tosh and Garrett as well, each holding a tiny cupcake in their hand with a single lit candle. Freya's heart swelled in her chest and tears threatened to fall.
"Oh my god you guys!" She yelled back as they laughed at the shocked expression on her face. "Mav you really didn't have to do this," she chastised him but she couldn't hide her smile.
"Hey now, it wasn't just me, these two sneaks already knew what today was, don't ask me how." He told her as he approached her with a smile.
She held her breath as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, but the hug felt nice. "We need to have a talk later on, yeah?" He whispered into her ear, low enough that nobody heard.
Her heart rate sped up. She knew what he wanted to talk about. Somehow, Maverick knew everything. She looked into his eyes, but she didn't see any anger there. She nodded her agreement before turning back to the others. She didn't know Tosh and Garrett well, but they were counselors at Wolf Mountain and had not attended Madsen Prep. They smiled at her with no hatred in their expressions and it was beyond refreshing. They were there in support of Maverick and she appreciated it all.
"Well, blow out the dang candles, you nerd!" Sam urged. "I'm starving and its pancakes in the dining hall today!"
Freya laughed at her perpetually hungry friend and took a deep breath, blowing out each candle one by one. "Thanks guys, really...it means more than you know," she told them.
"Oh fooey, you know we got your back, girl," promised Phee and it made her feel warm all over. She was being ridiculous and cheesy but it had been so long since she had felt even an inkling of true friendship that her body almost didn't know how to react.
They day passed with little fanfare and Freya was thankful for it. She had talked her roommates out of a birthday bash just as she had done with Maverick. They got the hint quickly that it wouldn't be happening, but promised to spend the whole night with her where they would eat junk food and play card games. She honestly wouldn't have it any other way.
A knock at her door pulled her from a light nap that evening and Maverick let himself into the room. She sat up straight and gathered her blankets around her legs for comfort.
"Hey Mav," she called to him and he smiled.
"Hey birthday girl," he teased and proceeded to sit on her bed in front of her. "We need to talk."
She felt nervous. She didn't want to have this particular talk. "I have literally no excuse..."
"Don't apologize. There's nothing to be sorry for. I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for this." He gestured between the two of them. "I've known your heart belonged to him the first time I saw you with him that night in the woods, and I could see it in your eyes as soon as I saw you this morning."
"Are you serious?" She asked him. She was astounded.
He smiled at her and grabbed her hand in his. "I'd be an idiot not to see the way you looked at him, Freya. And I'm not an idiot." He smirked and she rolled her eyes. "But I’m also okay with it. What you and I shared this summer was beyond words, and I can't even deny that I’ve fallen for you a bit." He blushed.
"But I'm not gonna to stand in the way of something that has clearly been happening since before I came into the picture," He told her and a pang of sadness washed over her. "But, I do hope that you and I can continue to be good friends. Because as strong as my feelings for you are, I really do care about our friendship. I don't think I can give that up so easily."
This made her smile from ear to ear. Freya threw her arms around Maverick's neck and hugged him tight. "I'll always be your friend, Mav. I can't imagine not having you in my life. I'm so sorry that it can't be in the way that you wanted..." She sniffled and tried to block the tears from falling. "But you’ll always have a piece of me," she promised him.
He hugged her back but hesitated. This wasn't all he came here for. "What is it? Spit it out, I can see you thinking." She prodded at his chest.
He sighed and ran a hand over his short hair. "I'm curious about... what happened?" She knew what he was referring to and she knew she couldn't hide it any longer. He had confided in her regarding his brothers cancer and she had kept nothing but secrets.
"You may have heard about those teenagers from Madsen Prep who died last year," she told him and he only nodded. He'd settled back on the bed and waited patiently. "It was my fault."
She breathed out heavily. "They were my friends and we were partying after homecoming and we were all drunk. After we left, I drove them home but we never made it," she confessed.
She looked to Maverick but his face was open and she didn't see any hint of judgement there. "The sad thing is that I can't even remember getting into the damn car. Sometime after we stepped out of the hous
e, I blacked out and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in the pile of mangled car parts with my friends dying around me." She began to cry and Maverick pulled her to his chest.
"Shh, it's okay." He cooed as she cried. He rubbed her hair to soothe her.
"Mina and Ben both died that night but Carmen— Sebastian's twin sister and my best friend... she's in a coma. Has been for months. They say she could wake up at any moment but she hasn't and it scares the hell out of me."
Maverick held her close and rubbed circles on her back now, caring for her the way only he could. "I'm incredibly sorry Frey. I can't even imagine the things you have seen."
She sniffled. "Well there you have it... the worst thing I have ever done or will ever do." She hung her head. She felt so much shame.
"What you did was incredibly stupid, I'm not even going to deny that. But accidents do happen and it doesn't make you a bad person. You made a bad decision, and yes you will live with it forever, but you can't let it become you."
She nodded for lack of a better response. She knew he was right, but doing was much harder than saying. She wiped her tears from her cheeks and settled back into her spot by the head board.
"Thanks Mav. Really, you don't even know how much you helped me just by being here to listen. That was the first time I even said it all out loud."
He smiled and it warmed her chest.
"Let's get some dinner, okay?" He suggested as he hopped up from the mattress and held out his hand.
"I could eat." She teased and followed him up without hesitation. Together, they headed out the door and towards the dining hall.
Freya
The dining hall was packed. The rain continued to pour outside and so every single camper seemed to be crammed into the stuffy building. The close quarters made Freya uneasy. She could feel the eyes on her as she grabbed her food and sat with her friends.
People glared at her from every direction and didn't even try to hide the whispers. She could feel herself sinking back into the dark pit of despair she had just managed to emerge from and it was obvious to those around her. Phee and Sam watched her with wary eyes while simultaneously glaring at everyone around her. An older counselor approached the front of the room and a hush fell over the hall.
"Good evening campers! Now that I have your attention, it's time for Sappy Sunday!" The room cheered, groaned and laughed. Freya ducked her head.
She had always loved Sappy Sunday. Campers received mail all week long, but a special mailbox had been put in place separately for parents who wanted to embarrass their children by sending them embarrassing letters with kissy faces and hearts all over the envelopes. If you received a Sappy Sunday letter, it would be read out loud in front of the entire camp and everyone collectively dreaded it.
Laughter rolled through the room as letter after letter was read aloud. Unfortunate campers held their bright red faces in their hands as their parents or sneaky friends words were read into the microphone. Freya almost smiled a few times, remembering the way her father had sent her a huge, bright green Sappy Sunday card year after year that sang a song when it was opened. Then the hurt came when she realized that card would never come again.
"To Freya Eleanor Lockwood," a voice rang through the room and a hush fell over the crowd once more. She looked up to see a bright pink envelope, covered in heart shaped stickers and yellow ribbon. What the hell?
The announcer cleared his throat and read the letter inside. "Hey Car. How's everything? Pretty shitty I bet. I'm sorry...that's not what I'm here to say at all. I need to tell you that I'm sorry. I messed up. I hope you can forgive me someday because I don't know what I'd do otherwise..."
Freya gasped, as did the rest of the room.
The counselor stopped reading. "What they hell is this?" He asked to nobody in particular.
In a matter of seconds Josiah was on the stage, snatching the letter from the counselors hand and gliding to the microphone. Freya felt like she could pass out or throw up. Perhaps both. Josiah's dark eyes latched onto hers and a wicked grin took over his lips. She didn't recognize this Josiah. He seemed vindictive now.
He cleared his throat dramatically.
"Because I don't know what I'd do otherwise. I miss you every single day and camp just isn't the same without you guys. I keep waking up in the cabin wanting to yell at Mina for keeping the lights on only to find Phee sitting in her place... I think you'd like Phee through Car. She's loud and embarrassing just like you. Don't tell anyone this but I have a theory that she and Sam are together...like, very together. At least I hope they are. Everyone deserves a little bit of happiness in this messed up world. Everyone except for me, that is. I've tried to search for the words that would make this all better but I know they don't exist. What I did to you... to all of you is unforgivable. Anyways Carmen, I haven't been by to visit you because every time I try, your parents call hospital security. Not that I blame them, but just know that I'd be there holding your hand every second of every day if I could. I miss you. I miss you so goddamn much that my whole body aches. I hope you wake up soon... Much love, Your drunk driving, best friend murdering, life ruining, Freya Lockwood..."
You could hear a pin drop.
It was absolute silence.
Every single pair of eyes was trained on her and she felt like she couldn't get in enough air. The hum of the mic rang through the air as Josiah stood there with a smug grin on his once kind face. She stood from her seat and hands grasped for her but she dodged them. She could barely make out the sound of voices calling her name over the flow of blood rushing in her ears. People were whispering, pointing...accusing. Everyone glared at her.
They hated her. Her eyes landed on a familiar pair of blue ones that stared back in disbelief. Sebastian sat there, but didn't say a word. His face was stricken and she couldn't bare to look at him any longer. She rushed to the doors but stopped suddenly before she reached them. She turned to face the silent room.
"I'm so fucking sorry..." Is all she whispered before slamming through the doors and into the rain.
She slipped and slid through the mud as she ran. She could hear footsteps in the distance and people calling her name but none of it mattered. She ran faster than she ever had before despite the throbbing agony in her right leg. Trees flew passed her in a blur of raindrops and wet pine needles.
She ran for what seemed like hours though it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. As she weaved her way through the mud, she recognized the path she had taken not long ago. The same path she and Maverick had hiked only a week before. Freya tripped and stumbled. She sobbed so hard that her tears began to blend in with the pouring rain as it soaked her entire body. Guilt was crashing over her and she could no longer contain it. After a while she approached the spot she had she visited with Maverick and fell to her knees in the mud. Sobs wracked her body and visions of the crash danced in her head.
It was coming back to her.
The screams, the sickening crunch of metal as the car was torn to pieces around her. She crawled to the edge of the cliff and gripped the mud beneath her fingers. Her clothing was soaked and her skin stung from the biting rain. Her leg throbbed and her ears were exploding with the sounds of debris and booming metal. She couldn't shake it. The memories. They were inside her. She wanted them gone.
Freya stood to her feet on the ledge, watching the water slosh beneath her. It was a long way down to the shallow lake below. The rain rippled on the surface, causing the water to vibrate. It was incredibly inviting.
Raising her head to the sky she let the rain batter her face. "I'm sorry!" She shouted to nobody. Anyone who needed to hear it was long dead.
She raised her foot and let it hover over the edge and for a moment, she let herself feel peace. She knew the fall should kill her. At least she hoped it would. Then she would be free. She would pay the final price for what she had done. The sky opened up above her and the full moon peeked through, casting an eerie glow across the water. The rain had stopped and
all was silent.
Before she took that last step that would send her off the cliff and into a world where nobody knew her shame, Carmen's face flashed before her eyes. Her eyes were so dark blue, just like her twins and so filled with sorrow for what Freya was about to do. It made her hesitate. She knew that Carmen wasn't really there, but she was still somewhere. That had to count for something.
Something inside her snapped then. She yanked her foot back to the muddy ground and stepped back from the edge of the cliff face, changing her mind and deciding to live instead.But a voice called out to her from the trees, startling her and causing her foot to slide through the slick puddle beneath her. She couldn't catch her balance and she flailed. Panic welled in her chest as the muddy earth beneath her gave way. No, no no please! Freya screamed as she plummeted to the cold, dark water.
Sebastian
