Love Notes (Friends Lovers or Nothing Book 4)

by Chanel, Jackie

  “She’s doing well. She’s trying to hold on for a little while longer. We’re hoping she can make it until you come home. Thank you for asking.”

  “Tell her not to wait for me,” I insisted. “It doesn’t matter where I’m at when she goes into labor. I’m not going to miss it, Ma. I’ll come home.”

  “And Roxy and Joey will kill you. She’s okay, Aiden. Don’t start worrying. So what’s this about Mt. Vernon?”

  “Do you want to come up? We’ll probably roll out of Chicago the day after tomorrow because I have a second show here tomorrow. I’ll meet up with the band when they get to Indiana. So, do you want to come?”

  “You’re just asking me because you don’t want to have dinner with the Carol and Phil alone.”

  “You’re absolutely right,” I laughed.

  “Sure, I’ll come. Delilah can keep an eye on your sister for a couple of days. I have to check on the house anyway. Two birds, right?”

  The mournful tone of my mother’s voice let me know right away that she wasn’t really feeling my invitation to come to Mt. Vernon with me. I probably should have rescinded my invitation but she has to come back here at some time or another. Why not just rip off the Band-aid and get it over with? It wasn’t like she and my sisters were so gung-ho about letting me grieve on the island by myself without calling me every single day and begging me to come home. If I had to face my demons in LA, Mom has to face hers here in Illinois.

  “Just gotta do it, Mom,” I told her. “I’ll have Mona book your flight. And it doesn’t matter how much the ticket costs so don’t ask. I’m doing this, okay? I know you can buy your own plane tickets but not this time.”

  “Fine, Aiden. Waste your money on frivolous stuff. It’s your money. You earned it.”

  “That’s right and I’m earning a hell of a lot more so I can afford to spend five hundred bucks on my mother every single day if I want to. I wish you’d just let me take care of you.”

  “You do enough for me, Aiden,” Dina sighed softly. “I’m not going to live off you for the rest of my life.”

  “Why not?” I argued. “I lived off you and Dad until I was twenty. I figure I owe you at least twenty years.”

  “You don’t owe me anything,” she laughed. “But I see where you’re coming from. You know, the older you get, the more you remind me of how you used to be before you hit puberty. You used to love me so much. You’d get so mad at Dad for arguing with me or even disagreeing with me. You were my angel.”

  “I still am.”

  “I love you, Aiden.”

  “I love you too, Mom. I’ll talk to you later.”

  I hung up before she could add anything else to the conversation. First, I almost cried in Target and now this. I can’t keep doing this. I should be okay by now. It’s been over two years. I leaned forward and covered my face with my hands.

  Get it together, Aiden.

  I felt Sunny sit beside me and put her arm around my shoulders but I didn’t move.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah. I’m fine. Why?”

  “Because you’ve been sitting like that for twenty minutes and you haven’t heard a word I said or noticed that your phone rang three times. What’s going on?”

  I looked up and leaned back on the sofa this time. Sunny is probably the only one I can talk about this shit with. Delilah and Sara will just cry because they miss my Dad probably more than I do. I can’t talk to my mother because she’s dealing with this worse than I am.

  “How long is this shit going to hurt so fuckin’ bad, Sunny? How long is it gonna take for me not to think about my dad a million times a day? I told Roxy and Joey that I didn’t want to come to Chicago yet and they booked these dates anyway. I don’t want to be here. The last time I was in this fuckin’ state I was burying my father! What the fuck!”

  I jumped up and began pacing the floor. It wasn’t enough. I wanted to throw something…to punch something.

  “Jesus! I’m losing it and I knew this shit would happen if we came here. No one ever listens to me!”

  “Aiden,” Sunny said calmly from the sofa. “What happened? Where is all this coming from?”

  “Nowhere…I mean, yeah, I ran into my dad’s best friend in the store today. And I almost fuckin’ cried while he was talkin’ about my dad. Then Mom…she’s so sad all the time and nothing I do or say works. I miss him too, you know. But I can’t say shit to them. My mom and my sisters need me to be strong. But I don’t want my dad to be dead, Sunny! I want him here! I want to go out there and see him standing next to Coach Williams watching me fucking play with legends like Fat Cat and Roy. I don’t want people telling me what he was like and that he was proud of me. I want him to say it. I want to hear my father tell me that he is proud of me. Not was, Sunny. Is! I don’t want my dad to be dead!”

  Sunny walked up behind me and put her arms around my waist. Her touch brought a flood of tears to my eyes so I just let them fall. It feels like I’ve been holding these tears back for months. I’m never alone. That’s the problem because I’m not going to get this emotional in front of other people.

  “Aiden, baby,” Sunny said softly. “You don’t have to keep this in. That loss was huge and it was recent. Two years is not a long time and this is supposed to be hard for you. Being back here, so close to home, is supposed to bother you. That’s why I’m here. I got you, Aiden. If you want to scream, then scream. Cry, get mad, break something. But don’t hold your grief in. You’re allowed to grieve and mourn for your father just as much as your sisters and mother. You have to do it.”

  As grateful as I was for her words, I still wiped my eyes and straightened up like nothing happened. I’m not a punk. Never have been and never will be.

  “So, how long are you with us this time?” I asked. Sunny shook her head.

  “That’s it? You have an emotional breakdown then want to act like nothing happened?”

  “It’s nothing, Sunny. So, how long are you here for?” I asked again.

  “Well, Delilah’s got everything under control in Los Angeles for now. I got Asia, Leilani, and a couple of other clients squared away. And, as far as I know, Daniela’s got everything in control with the stores. I can roll with you for at least another week before I need to check-in with Jade and see what she has for me.”

  “Good,” I nodded. “When the crew rolls out after the show tomorrow, we gotta get Mom from the airport.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I kinda promised my high school coach that we’d stop in Mt. Vernon before we headed to Indiana. Mom wants to check on the house since she’s thinking about putting it on the market. I thought you were still going to be gone so I asked her to come up here. I don’t want to go back there alone.”

  “Aiden, you don’t ever have to do anything alone. I’m here whenever you need me. Didn’t I just say I got you?”

  “Mom’s probably gonna take Summer back to LA with her. She misses her baby.”

  “Yeah, like your daughter’s gonna go for that,” Sunny scoffed and lay down on the couch. “How long before you go on?”

  I looked at my watch. “Forty-five minutes.”

  “Good. Wake me up in thirty. I still gotta get you dressed, Superstar.”

  Chapter 13 - Minneapolis

  As soon as we crossed the Minnesota state line, the music switched from Will’s favorite jazz station to Prince’s 1999. Everyone on the bus perked up and started singing and dancing. The second bus carrying Steve, Perry, and my backup singers, Kyle, Jeannette, and Claudia pulled up beside us. We could see them dancing and singing. This was another tradition, our way of paying homage to the great state that birthed the most prolific musical genius to ever walk the planet.

  I discovered Prince, not Purple Rain Prince but Controversy and Dirty Mind Prince, the same way I discovered Jimi Hendrix. Full on total immersion. He was the one other musician besides The Rolling Stones that my father and I actually agreed on. When things were good between us, before
I left for college, we’d sit in the den and listen to dusty vinyl records from the 70s and 80s. Prince, Pink Floyd, The Stones, and The Grateful Dead. Those few moments were when I knew that my dad had a little cool in him still. He may have hated my hair, my choice of college, and my affinity for blues-rock but he respected me and I knew he loved me. He’d tell me stories about his college days playing football and hook-ups before he met my mom. I was his son, the only Tyler boy and my dad didn't always hate me. In fact, I know he never hated me, just some of my choices.

  Either way, Prince was one of our favorites and never will I set foot in Minnesota without adhering to tradition.

  “You know what we've never done,” Mike said. “We've been to Minneapolis at least five times and we've never been to Paisley Park. You think he’d let us in?”

  “No,” Erica laughed. “We live in California and we ain't never been to Neverland either. We've been to London a thousand times and we ain't never knocked on the Queen’s front door. We ain't special. I bet he doesn't even know who Aiden is.”

  I was offended. “The hell you mean? Everyone knows who I am!”

  Erica turned up her nose. “You think you’re famous enough for Prince to know who you are? Boy, that ego is bigger than your head.”

  “I met him once,” Joey interjected. We all turned in stunned silence and stared at him.

  “Seriously?”

  “Yeah, seriously. Cool dude. But he’s fuckin’ Prince and he knows that shit.”

  “So, can you call him and see if we can stop by Paisley Park?” I asked. “I really want to get inside there.”

  “I said I met him. I didn't say anything about having his number. You wanna see Paisley Park, you better do what everybody else does and drive past that motherfucker and say a prayer.”

  That’s exactly what we did too. Will and Charlie pulled the buses over and all eleven of us stood across the street like tourists, not celebrities, and gawked at the legendary compound.

  “Real shit,” I said to Erica who was standing next to me snapping pictures on her phone. “I’m going to have something like this one day.”

  “With a secret vault with all your unreleased music too?” she asked. “Lord knows you have a ton of it.”

  “Hell yeah. And people are going to exactly what we’re doing right now. Stand outside and imagine what’s happening in there.”

  “What are you going to call it?”

  I couldn’t tell if she was genuinely interested or just egging me on so she and the guys could break my balls about it later.

  “I’m gonna call it Summer Time, after my baby.”

  “Not Sunnyland after you absentee girlfriend?” Erica said in that condescending and snide tone she’s been using lately when she talks about me and Sunny.

  “Do I look stupid?”

  Erica shrugged. “I’m just sayin’.”

  “Sunny may not always be my girl but Summer will always be my first born child.”

  I turned my head and continued to stare at the large white building. I could only imagine what was going down inside so that’s exactly what I did. I imagined the ultimate jam session going down inside Prince’s purple studio.

  Mona tapped my shoulder. “Aiden, whose house is this?”

  My entire band, backup singers, and road managers all yelled or groaned in shock. I stared at my assistant like she’d grown a third eye or something.

  “I’m going to ask you one question and think carefully about how you answer it,” I told her. “Are you serious? Because, if you’re serious, you are fired.”

  Mona burst out laughing and playfully pushed me. “No! I’m just messing with you. I know where we are. You should see the look on your face. Why are you ears so red?”

  “You laugh but you would be pissed if we just pulled off and left you here.”

  “Ain’t nobody leaving you,” Zack rushed to Mona’s defense.

  Since our night out in Toronto, his crush on my assistant was getting out of control. Since Mona’s all about her business, I knew that he was going to have a hard time gaining any dating ground with her. In a way, I appreciated Mona’s focus and her eagerness to make sure that I’m okay, first and foremost. I’m not lazy; I’m just busy and forgetful. I’d rather have someone like Mona reminding me when I have an interview or appearance than have any of my managers screaming in my ear 24/7.

  While Zack and Mona were low-key flirting, I snapped a couple of pictures of Paisley Park and sent them to Kat. She immediately called me, screeching ‘I know you’re not where I think you are!’ in my ear.

  “Hey, Miss K. How you been?”

  “I’m fine. Why are you stalking my man?”

  “I’m planning a kidnapping. How else are you gonna have his babies?”

  Kat laughed so long and hard that I could hear her tears in her eyes. Man, I’ve missed that laugh. It was a little after twelve in Atlanta so I knew that she was either in her garish pink office at Rabbit’s or sitting at home drinking coffee and watching Bones on TNT. Either way, I could tell she was happy to hear from me.

  “I’m too old to have anybody’s babies. I got enough of y’all as it is,” she managed to say through her fits of laughter.

  “You miss me yet?”

  “Every single day. I don’t know how I get through the day without seeing your face. Oh wait...I have Wi-Fi. I see you all damn day, every day. You ain’t never met a camera that you didn’t love, have you?”

  “Your sarcasm is noted, but for real, I miss you.”

  “No one told your silly ass to move to California permanently.”

  Kat Mays should have that statement printed on a t-shirt, keychain; maybe even make it her ringtone. She blames Roxy for a lot of things and my move to LA is at the top of the list, right under stealing Joey away from the family. I legitimately fear for Roxy’s safety when she and Kat are in the same room.

  “Are we going to do this again? Now?” I asked.

  “We’re gonna do this until your bring your ass back to Atlanta with my grandbaby.”

  “Summer is your great-niece, not your grandchild.”

  “Summer is whatever the hell I call her,” Kat snapped. “And I want to see her. You need to hurry up and get here.”

  “Well, I’m on tour,” I laughed, “so I kind of have a schedule that I have to keep to. I can’t just bring Summer to you. You can talk to your niece about that. Besides, Mom has Summer now. If you ask, I’m sure she’ll let you keep her for a week or two. Call her.”

  “Maybe I will. How’s your mama doing?”

  “Okay. Just okay.”

  “You know I don’t care if you’re on tour or not. You make time for your mama, boy. She lost her husband. She needs her babies around her, lovin’ on her. You hear me?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I just saw her in Chicago and I’m going to spend some more time with her when we get to California. I have like five shows there.”

  Then, like she has done for the last two years since my father died, Kat softened her voice and asked how I was. It was a loaded question that I knew I wouldn’t be able to answer with ‘I’m fine.’ I wouldn’t anyway. Only Miss K and my mom consistently worry about how I’m holding up and I would never lie to either of them about this. So I told Kat the truth; that I had a lot on my mind andd I would go into detail after the show.

  “Hey,” Kat said warmly. “Now or later, you know I’m always here for you. I love you like you’re my own. Got it?”

  “Yeah, I got it.”

  “Good. And if you and Erica don’t play “Erotic City” tonight, I’m gonna beat the brakes off both of y’all when I see you.”

  “We’ve never played that!”

  “You’s a lie,” Kat hollered. “Y’all played it right here in Rabbit’s. I heard y’all. You was probably just playin’ it to get in the mood so you could screw her later but it still sounded good. And your lil ass better not get on that stage in Minnesota and not play a Prince song.”

  “Kat, you know how I feel
about covering Prince.”

  “Fuck your feelings, Aiden! If Adam Levine can screw up Kiss, you damn sure can play Erotic City.”

  “Why? So Prince...the motherfuckin’ legend, can diss me on the Internet? We both saw what he did to Adam. No, Miss K, I am not setting myself up for that.”

  “You scared?” Kat mocked me. “You scared of a little Prince? Or you scared that you and Erica might actually fuck until dawn and Sunny will kill you?”

  “Neither!” I laughed. “I’m scared that your baby daddy has the power to ruin my career if I fuck up one of his songs.”

  “Bullshit. You play Jimi as if the man himself taught you how to play “Voodoo Child”. I’m pretty damn sure you won’t fuck up “Erotic City”. Did you mess up “Purple Rain” when you played it for Sunny?”

  “I’d been working on that for weeks,” I reminded her.

  “Oh, pull down your damn skirt and play the goddamn song, Aiden!” Kat hollered.

  “How would you know if I played it or not?”

  “Because your little assistant sends me a video of every show you play. I like her. She’s cute and efficient. Don’t screw her.”

  “Bye Kat,” I laughed because it was definitely time to hang up. “I gotta go.”

  “Love you, baby.”

  “Love you too.”

  A few minutes later, we climbed back on to our buses and headed straight to the Target Center. I thought about Kat’s request. “Erotic City” is not that hard and we have played it before. What that hell...it’ll probably be fun.

  ***

  “Aiden! Aiden!”

  Roxy, Tracy, Mona, and Erica ran down the hallway backstage no more than thirty seconds after I exited the stage. The Twin Cities crowd was going nuts as thunderous chants of ‘Encore! Encore! Encore!” filled the arena.

  My four favorite girls rushed towards me then all four of them grabbed me and began dragging me to the side of the stage, five minutes too early for my encore.

  “What the hell?” I protested.

  “Shut up and look!” Roxy pulled back the curtain a little so I could see out into the crowd. “Is that...” her voice dropped as her unspoken question was answered.