The Street of Broken Dreams

by Tania Crosse

  ‘Cor, Mum, you didn’t half make me jump!’ she cried, her palm reaching protectively to her throat. ‘It was so quiet, I thought you were all out celebrating.’

  ‘You heard the news, then?’

  ‘Course I did. It’s all over the place. And I heard before you did, probably. The newspaper boys were already calling out about it when I was on me way to work and you were still fast asleep. Japan surrenders!’ she mimicked. ‘Read all about it!’

  Eva shook her head with a chuckle. ‘Yeah, fantastic news, ain’t it? Mind you, took the Japs bloody long enough, didn’t it? You’d’ve thought one of them bleeding bombs was enough, without waiting for a second one, and then they waited a few days to make it official.’

  ‘Strange lot, the Japs. Don’t seem normal to me. But never mind. It’s all over now,’ Mildred crowed. ‘We can all sleep easy in our beds. Can I have a dripping sandwich or something? I’m starving.’

  ‘Course you can, love.’ Already on her feet, Eva reached for the unappetising loaf on the table and began to saw off a slice for her daughter.

  ‘So where’s everyone else?’ Mildred questioned, flinging herself into a chair. ‘Why ain’t you out celebrating?’

  ‘Have been. We heard it on the wireless first thing. They repeated the announcement what that new Prime Minister of ours, Attlee, made at midnight when we was all tucked up in our beds. And a nice surprise to wake up to the news that today’s another public holiday, and all. But your dad and Jake and Zac still went into Price’s to make sure they could have the day off. When they got back, they decided to go and watch the State Opening of Parliament. Never had the chance before. Took Primrose with them, but I didn’t wanna go. It was chucking it down. Went round to Bridie and Ron’s instead. Ain’t been back long.’

  ‘Well, I wonder what the others are up to now.’ Mildred began to ladle dripping from the chipped enamel fat-cup onto the chunk of bread. ‘All right for some. Some of us have had to work, even if it is a flipping public holiday.’

  ‘You wanna cuppa to go with that?’

  ‘Yes, please, Mum. If you’re putting the kettle on.’

  ‘Yeah, I am. Could murder a cup meself. Bridie gave us one, but it was so weak, it was like bleeding dishwater. Between you and me, I’m sure it ain’t just rationing. They can’t afford much, I don’t think. But you never hear them grumble.’

  ‘Think you’re right,’ Mildred called out as her mum disappeared into the scullery. ‘Things are better now, mind, with Cissie back at work. She won’t get the evening off, neither. The show must go on, and all.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Eva gave a pensive nod as she shuffled back into the kitchen, her slippers scuffing along on the worn quarry floor tiles. ‘Kettle was stone cold, so it’ll take a minute or two to boil,’ she muttered absently, since the words on her lips were far from those going round in her head. It was only the day before yesterday that Cissie had come to confide in her, and Eva was still in shock. Poor bloody kid. But she wouldn’t tell a soul. Not even her Stan, who she shared everything with. The only other persons outside the Cresswell family who knew the truth were this Sean fellow and Jake. Eva’s heart bled for her younger son. She could tell he was absolutely smitten, but Cissie had explained how she couldn’t bear the idea of a man touching her in that way ever again. So could there possibly be any future in their relationship?

  And Jake wasn’t the only one of her offspring Eva was worried about. She knew more than anyone that Mildred’s happy-go-lucky, carefree mask hid a far deeper, more troubled soul.

  ‘Well, you must be overjoyed with the news,’ Eva declared, putting a beaming edge to her subtly probing question. ‘Means Gary’ll be coming home soon.’

  She noticed that Mildred’s lips twitched. ‘Not for a bit, I don’t suppose,’ Mildred answered. ‘The Japanese surrender won’t actually be done and dusted till the beginning of September. So they’ll be keeping troops and the navy on alert till then. Didn’t you read all of it? Or wasn’t it all on the wireless?’

  ‘Oh, erm, no,’ Eva had to admit. Her Mildred, though, was becoming quite the learned one, wasn’t she?

  ‘And then they’ve got to get back,’ Mildred went on, biting delicately on the last of the bread and dripping rather than stuffing it into her mouth, Eva noticed, as she would have done just a couple of months previously. ‘It’s a hell of a long way to go by sea, even going through the Suez Canal. And then they’ve got to come right the way from the far side of the Med. So it’ll be ages before Gary’s back even if he left tomorrow.’

  ‘Yeah, I suppose so.’ Eva turned back towards the scullery as the kettle started to whistle. Since when was their Mildred such a clever clogs?

  Eva took her time making the tea, the problem chewing at the back of her mind. For how could she broach the subject while making it seem uncontrived?

  ‘Well, here we are,’ she said, coming back into the room with the teapot. ‘Used all the milk ration till tomorrow, but there’s a bit of sugar left.’

  ‘Right, ta, Mum.’

  ‘So what you gonna do for the rest of the day, then?’

  ‘When I’ve had this, I’m gonna change and then I’m meeting Oscar at the other side of the bridge at half past three. Gonna go and join in all the celebrations, me and him. ’Specially now the rain’s cleared up. Never see nothing like this again in our lifetime. Least, I hope we don’t! They say people’ll have fireworks and all sorts. Music and dancing in the streets. And later on, lots of public buildings are gonna be lit up. Course, we can’t stay out too late what with having to be up at the crack of dawn for our shift, worse luck.’

  Eva drew in a wary breath through pursed lips. How could she put it without making it sound too obvious? ‘You see a lot of this Oscar, don’t you?’ she said mildly.

  But Mildred merely shrugged. ‘So? Why shouldn’t I? We’re just mates. I like being with him. He’s clever. Knowledgeable about stuff. Doesn’t mind explaining things to me that I don’t understand. Makes us feel like I could be clever, too.’

  ‘Well, you are clever, love. Cleverer than what I could ever be. I’ve even noticed you’ve been talking posher since you’ve known him,’ Eva observed cautiously.

  ‘D’you think so?’ Mildred’s face lit up with pride.

  ‘Yeah, I do. And I don’t know what Gary’ll think about it when he gets back.’

  ‘Gary? Well, I don’t care what he’ll think. And I’m not gonna live like a flaming nun till he comes home. Anyway, he’s hardly written to me over the past few months, so why should I care?’

  Eva pulled in her chin. ‘You are engaged to him, love, remember.’

  ‘I know. But I’m not a hermit. Besides, I thought you and Dad were never that keen on him.’

  ‘Well, it was all a bit rushed,’ Eva agreed, biting her lip. ‘But you did promise him.’

  ‘Yes, well, I’ll see what happens when he gets home. And I’m not stopping going out with Oscar.’

  Eva blinked at her daughter, thoughts flying about in her brain. Mildred could be as stubborn as a mule. Just as she’d been when she’d announced she and Gary were getting engaged in the first place. In some ways, Eva was secretly pleased. This Oscar sounded a much better catch. But she could see trouble ahead. In the meantime, though, perhaps she should try and be a bit more open-minded.

  ‘So, good-looking is he, this Oscar?’ she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

  Mildred stared at her for a second. ‘Yes,’ she nodded carefully. And then she threw caution to the wind as she grinned openly, ‘Actually, he’s bloody gorgeous!’

  A smile flashed across Eva’s lips at her daughter’s obvious enthusiasm, but then she asked in a serious tone, ‘So you sure you’re just friends? Seems to us you quite fancy him. And you say he’s footloose and fancy-free? So,’ Eva hesitated for no more than a heartbeat, ‘if you didn’t already have Gary, would there be something in it?’

  The jubilation slid from Mildred’s face and she lowered her eyes. ‘I don’t know, Mum,’
she sighed. ‘From my side, yes, I think there probably would. But I don’t know about Oscar. He’s such a gentleman, I don’t think he’d let his feelings show. Not when I’m engaged to Gary. And why would he fall for some ignorant little cow like me when he’s so posh and clever?’

  ‘For the same reasons Rob fell in love with your sister. ’Cos you’re good and kind and funny. And you ain’t ignorant. You just ain’t had the chance of a good education. And you want to learn, so with him as your teacher, well. And let’s face it, being a clippie for two years when there’s a war on and having to deal with all sorts is an education in itself.’

  Mildred’s eyebrows wriggled. ‘Yes, I suppose so. And I mean, Oscar obviously likes being with me. And I love being with him. So… Oh, I don’t know what to think.’

  ‘Well, I think you should go out and enjoy yourself with him. It’s not every blooming day a world war comes to a complete end. And if anything starts developing between you, then you should let it. As a mum, all you ever want is to see your children happy.’

  Mildred met her mother’s steady gaze. ‘D’you really think so, Mum? That I should let me feelings for Oscar show?’

  ‘Yeah, well, at least then you’d know how he feels. And you’d know if you really feel something for him, too. Now, when you’ve had that, go and make yourself look your best for him.’

  At Eva’s words, Mildred popped the last piece of bread into her mouth and, getting to her feet, washed it down with a slurp of tea. ‘Thanks, Mum,’ she nodded. ‘Should’ve spoken to you sooner, you wise old owl.’

  ‘Oi, not so much of the old!’ Eva called at her daughter’s retreating back as she went out of the door. Were they words of wisdom she’d imparted? She hoped so!

  But those words stayed in Mildred’s head as she hurried across Albert Bridge at the appointed hour, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Her heart flipped over when she spied Oscar waiting for her, looking even more handsome in his civvies. Well, what the heck. The last twenty yards or so, she ran towards him, arms outstretched, so that he was pretty well obliged to open his own arms wide to catch her. Oh, it was so good to feel him against her, his strength as he lifted her off her feet and swung her round.

  When he set her down again, she grinned up at him breathlessly. He looked astounded, but then he started laughing as he shook his head at her.

  ‘Mildred Parker, you’re crazy!’ he chuckled. ‘Nearly knocked me over!’

  ‘Well, you don’t celebrate the end of a world war that often!’ she told him, her face split in a joyful smile. And then she added for good measure, ‘And I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather celebrate it with!’

  She threw him a cheeky glance. He could either think her whirlwind greeting was because of the celebrations or because she had feelings for him. Hopefully, she was sowing a seed and then could see what his reaction would be.

  Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. She grabbed his hand and pulled him forward. ‘Come on, let’s catch a bus up to Trafalgar Square and see what’s going on there!’

  She saw an answering grin spread across his face. He glanced down at their joined hands but made no attempt to pull away as they walked towards the bus stop.

  Mildred thought it was the most wonderful afternoon of her life. The morning’s rain had completely dried up and people were singing and dancing in the streets. It wasn’t nearly so packed, though, as it had been on the two VE Days, and it all seemed a bit watered down by comparison.

  Mildred supposed it was because the war in the Far East had affected far fewer people. It was only if you had someone fighting out there, as she had, that you really felt involved. And after all, it wasn’t Japan that had dropped all those flaming bombs on London and all the other towns and cities in Britain. Also, it was three months now since Germany had surrendered, and the euphoria had died down. Nothing much had changed. Rationing was still in force – in fact, in some instances it was flipping worse – and the nation had been warned the austerity could go on for years. And Gawd knew how long it would be before this new welfare state the new Labour government had promised would come about.

  On their way home, she and Oscar had discussed it over a meal of soup and home-made rolls in a quirky little café he knew in Chelsea’s King’s Road. The rolls were so much nicer than anything you could buy in the shops, and the soup tasted delicious. It was a fitting end to the celebrations, even if it hadn’t, generally speaking, been as boisterous as the VE Days. And Mildred knew she’d enjoyed it more because she’d spent it with Oscar.

  ‘I’ve had a smashing time,’ she said as he paid the bill and they left the café. ‘Thanks ever so much.’

  ‘Just a pity we need to get some shut-eye before our early shift tomorrow,’ Oscar answered ruefully, ‘or we could’ve stayed out later. I’ll probably be in bed before Georgie.’

  ‘Won’t you be worried about her?’

  ‘No, no. She’s with a group of school friends, so she’ll be OK. She’s a bit scatty, but when it comes to it, she’s got her head screwed on. And one or two of the parents have gone along, too. And Mum was going to a neighbour’s in our block of flats, so she won’t have been on her own, either.’

  ‘My mum was on her own this afternoon. She’d been in with our new neighbours, the ones I told you about, but me dad and me brother and sister went to watch the State Opening of Parliament this morning. Their only chance ever ’cos they’d normally be at work. But I expect they’ll have got back soon after I left.’

  ‘Certainly been a lot going on recently,’ Oscar observed. ‘The end of the war, the election, new government, the celebrations—’

  ‘Well, I’m so glad I spent these ones with you,’ Mildred interrupted him, Eva’s words coming back to her as they reached the corner with Beaufort Street that ran into Battersea Bridge and her way home. ‘It’s OK. I can walk back on me own from here. And thanks again for a super time.’

  She turned to him, and before her courage waned, she rose up on tiptoe and placed a quick peck on his cheek. She stood back, smiling and holding her breath. How would he interpret it? A polite kiss from a friend swept up in the joy of the occasion, or something more?

  Oscar looked somewhat taken aback. But before he had a chance to react, Mildred danced away. ‘See you in the morning!’ she called back to him, laughing and waving as she skipped down the street. Well, she couldn’t give him a better hint than that, could she?

  Now, she’d have to wait and see.

  Twenty-Seven

  ‘So, Deidre, ma petite, what was it you wanted to speak to me about in private?’

  Monsieur Clément indicated that the girl should sit down in the chair opposite the desk in the office of the producer who had gone off to a meeting with the new Arts Council. He himself sat down in the producer’s seat and leant back, contemplating the expression on the dancer’s face. He couldn’t quite make it out. But what he knew of old was that she could be difficult to handle sometimes.

  ‘Oui?’ he prompted when she didn’t begin at once.

  ‘Well,’ she said hesitantly, ‘I’m not quite sure I should be telling you this, but I thought you ought to know.’

  Ah, the English had an odd way of beating about the bush, n’est-ce pas? Monsieur Clément thought to himself. And now he could put a name to the look in Deidre’s eyes. Devious.

  ‘If you think it is something that could affect the company, then you should tell me, ma chère,’ he encouraged her, already on his guard.

  ‘It could be if it became common knowledge,’ Deidre answered. And now he could detect the smugness in her voice. The vindictiveness. Oui, that was the word.

  ‘What could?’

  ‘Well, it’s to do with Cissie.’

  Monsieur Clément, so used to scrutinising tiny movements of the body, saw her straighten her shoulders, and he was sure she was trying to hide a spiteful smile. He sat forward slightly.

  ‘Go on.’

  It seemed that Deidre didn’t need telling twice now tha
t she considered she’d hooked him in. ‘It was last Saturday, at the stage door after the performance,’ she said, launching delightedly into her story. ‘It was really strange. A black GI went to speak to her. She obviously knew him and they had a bit of an argument. And then he gave her something. A small package. A bulging envelope, I think, though it was hard to see properly. But it all looked a bit suspicious to me.’

  ‘Is that all? Did something else happen then?’

  ‘Not really. Not with him. He went away. But then something else did happen.’ She wriggled forward and dropped her voice conspiratorially. ‘There was another chap as well, in civvies. He spoke to me while he was clearly wanting to speak to Cissie. Anyway, he said to me wasn’t Cissie brilliant when she’d only just returned from her ankle injury. Well, I naturally thought he’d just got it wrong. I mean, her ankle was way back last year. At that point, it wasn’t obvious to me that he knew her, so I just said no, she’d been away recovering from TB, and he was really shocked. And then he saw the argy-bargy with the GI and ran over as if to protect her. The GI was already leaving, but then Cissie spoke to this other chap, and it was as clear as day that they knew each other well. So, I think, from his reaction about the TB thing, that she’d been lying to him. And if she has, maybe she’s been lying to us all along as well. I mean, what proof do we have that she was ever ill at all? I know she said it was a mild case, but I never saw her coughing or anything. She just suddenly disappeared. So what if she went off dancing somewhere else? Not in London, else we’d know, but in some other place? She just went off, leaving you in the lurch – or you would’ve been if you hadn’t had me to fill in. Or, worse still, what if she went off to have a baby, and it was that GI’s? The timings would be about right. That could’ve been money for the kid he was giving her. If it got out that our principal dancer had had an illegitimate kid – and by a darkie at that – the press’d have a field day! It could ruin the company. So I reckon you should give her the push before it’s too late.’