Love Was Not an Option

by Edward Kendrick

  “This I have to see,” Greg replied sarcastically. “What are you going to do? Bite my neck? Drink my blood? Or maybe turn into a damned werewolf? Go for it, Nick. Let’s see what you can do.”

  With a thought, Nick shifted. The terror on Greg’s face tore at Nick’s heart. He wanted to shift back. To take the man he loved in his arms and tell him it would be all right. But it won’t be. It never can be. He remained frozen in place as Greg backed away, his hands held out as if to protect himself from the creature he saw standing in front of him.

  “This isn’t real,” Greg whimpered. “It can’t be. Such things don’t exist. Not in the real world. It’s impossible.” He stared hard at the werewolf, tears streaming down his face, now. “Why, Nick? Why?” Then he turned and ran, just as Nick had known he would.

  Nick sank back on his haunches, his head lowered in defeat. If he’d had it in him, in his werewolf form, he would have cried as well. Instead, he raised his head, howling out his pain until it echoed off the mountains’ walls. Finally exhausted, he shifted again, his clothing reappearing when he had. He remained where he was, staring up at the clouds which had turned dark, presaging a storm. Soon the rain began to fall. When lightening flashed across the sky, he prayed it would strike him dead.

  It didn’t. The storm abated and when it did, Nick clambered to his feet and slowly walked back down the trail to his car. In one part of his mind, he hoped Greg would be there, waiting. He wasn’t. Nor was he at home. Nick banged on Greg’s back door, then bringing his vampire to the forefront, he misted and went inside. If Greg had been there, he had left again, although all his things were there as far as Nick could tell.

  By the time he got home he was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally. He collapsed fully dressed on his bed, falling into a deep sleep filled with dreams of the man he loved and had lost.

  * * * *

  Monday morning dawned bright and sunny—the antithesis of Nick’s mood. The first thing he did, even before getting out of bed, was call Greg. He didn’t expect him to answer, and so he wasn’t terribly surprised when the call went directly to voicemail.

  The last think he wanted to do was get up, dress, and go into work. But he knew he had to. He had people who depended on him.

  What do I do when they ask where Greg is? He knew the answer and gave it when everyone was gathered for the staff meeting.

  “Greg got a call last night. A family emergency. He doesn’t know when he’ll be back.”

  “Soon, I hope,” Mark said. “I’m meeting with Mr. King this morning to show him what Greg and I have come up with. Knowing him, he’ll say he loves it and then immediately ask for changes.”

  “If that happens, Helen, will you please step in?”

  “Of course, Nick. Mark, as soon as we’re finished here let me see what I’ll be dealing with.”

  “Will do,” Mark replied.

  The staff meeting, and then the day, seemed to drag on interminably. Nick tried to concentrate on what he had to do. He knew he was failing miserably when Brenda came into his office, closing the door behind her.

  She stood beside him, looking at him long and hard before saying, “He’s left you, hasn’t he? The two of you broke up?”

  Nick started to deny it, then nodded instead. “We had a huge misunderstanding yesterday. I said some things I shouldn’t have. He…he couldn’t forgive me so he said it was over.” He sighed deeply. “End of story, end of us.”

  “I’m so sorry, Nick. I thought you’d finally…” She bent to give him a hug, kissing his cheek. “If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here.”

  He smiled wanly. “I think I just did. I’ll be fine. It’ll take a while, but I’ll recover. Thank you for caring.”

  “You’re my friend, as well as my boss. Of course I care.” She hugged him again. “Now, about those letters you were supposed to sign.”

  * * * *

  Niko’s mother took one look at him before wrapping her arms around him. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

  “He’s gone. I told him about me, about what I am, and he ran.” Niko smiled sadly. “Literally ran, as fast as possible. Two days ago.”

  “Have you looked for him?” Étienne asked, putting his arm around Niko’s shoulders when Jelena stepped back.

  “No, Dad. What’s the use? He hates me now. No, maybe not hates. He’s terrified of me and I can’t blame him for that.”

  “Surely he realizes it’s only a part of who you are,” Jelena said. “He knows you, the man, and loves you. He has to realize you’re the same person, no matter what form you take.”

  “Somehow I doubt it. He watched me shift and the look of terror…Gods, I hope I never have to see that again. It tore me apart.”

  “Of course it did. He’ll get past it,” she replied reassuringly. “Give him time to adjust.”

  Niko snorted, crossing to one of the patio chairs to sit, staring morosely down at the ground. “In a hundred years? That’s what it’ll take and he’ll be dead long before then. He’s not like me, like us—long-lived.” He looked up at his parents. “I may have been around for…way too long it seems, but right now I feel like a kid, running home to his parents because he doesn’t know how to handle his problems on his own.”

  “That’s what parents are for,” Jelena replied. “To help their children when they’re in need.” She smiled, patting his arm. “It’s part of the package, so to speak.”

  “Do you want us to look for him?” Étienne asked, taking the chair beside Niko. “If we find him, we can try to talk some sense into him.”

  “Right. If you tell him who you are, he’ll take off again. If you don’t, then why should he believe you?”

  “I can be very convincing,” Jelena replied.

  “Mom…” Niko shook his head. “I want him back of his own free will, not because you compelled him.”

  “Would I do that?” she said with a brief smile.

  “In a heartbeat, my dear.” Étienne smiled at her. “For our son, you would do anything.”

  “True,” she admitted.

  “I have to deal with this on my own,” Niko said. “I only came home to let you know what happened, and cry on your shoulders.”

  “Have you thought about what you’ll do, if he does return?” Étienne asked.

  “Tell him I love him and need him,” Niko replied. “There’s nothing more I can do but that. If it isn’t enough…” He shook his head sorrowfully.

  “Have you told Kasper and Darwin, and anyone else you work for? They might be able to locate him.”

  “Are you kidding, Dad? Greg’s human. He knows supernatural beings exist, thanks to me. They’d want him dealt with, one way or another. My feelings wouldn’t matter.”

  Étienne nodded. “I’m afraid you’re right. It was a stupid suggestion.”

  “Not stupid. You’re trying to help. No. I’m just going to have to wait it out and pray he loves me enough that in the end he’ll decide I’m worth it in spite of everything.”

  “He will,” Jelena said with conviction.

  Niko gave her a stern look. “Without your help.”

  “Yes, dear. I promise.”

  “Thank you.” Niko got up. “I suppose I should go back home.” He smiled wistfully. “Maybe he’ll be there.”

  “Stranger things have happened,” Jelena replied hugging him. “You had better keep in touch so we know what’s going on.”

  “Yes, Mom, I will. Honest. And didn’t that sound like something a kid would say?”

  His parents laughed and then he left.

  The moment he landed in his living room he opened his senses, praying Greg had returned. Then he shook his head. “If he has, he wouldn’t be in here. He doesn’t have the key, any more than I have one for his place.” He teleported to Greg’s house and found no sign that he had returned. Back home again, he showered and got ready for bed. Then he went to the window, staring out.

  “Please, please,” he whispered. “If there�
�s anyone listening—” he looked up at the sky, “—if he doesn’t come back to me, keep him safe. That’s all I ask. Keep him safe and if he has it in his heart to do so, let him forgive me.”

  Chapter 11

  Time seemed to creep by. When Nick was at work it wasn’t too bad since he was able to bury himself in what needed to be done. It was the nights, the lonely nights, with nothing to do but miss Greg and wonder where he was and what he was doing, that got to Nick. Every evening on his way home, Nick would stop at Greg’s house, hoping against hope he’d be there. On Wednesday he noticed a few of Greg’s things were missing—some clothes, personal items, and a family photo that had sat on the dresser in Greg’s bedroom.

  He must have come by late last night, or even today when he knew I’d be at work. Is he still here in the city? If he is…Nick knew it was possible, if not probable, and that there was no way to find him if Greg didn’t want him to. Which, obviously, he doesn’t.

  Thursday when he went by Greg’s house, Nick noticed the lawn was beginning to look like a jungle, so on Saturday he did something about it. While he was mowing, one of Greg’s neighbors stopped to ask who he was and why he was doing that.

  “I’m a friend,” Nick replied. “Greg had to go out of town for a while and asked me to keep an eye on his place.”

  “Okay,” the man said. “I did wonder, since I haven’t seen him around here for the last few days. If I see any strangers who seem too interested in the place, I’ll call the cops.” The man chuckled. “I was about to, on you, until I figured a burglar wouldn’t be mowing his lawn.”

  “It would be a clever ploy, but yeah, unlikely,” Nick replied with a brief laugh.

  Sunday, Nick went running at the park, just as he and Greg had done almost every Sunday since they’d met. He knew he should have gone somewhere else—somewhere without memories. He also knew why he hadn’t. Deep in his heart he was praying Greg would be there, too. Greg would laugh, saying, “This time I’ll beat you,” as they raced along the path and everything would be as it had been.

  Nick knew it wouldn’t happen. It had been a week since the fateful day when he’d revealed what he was to the man he loved. A week, and the only sign he had that Greg was still alive were the things that had been taken from his house.

  Monday morning, at the staff meeting, Nick decided it was time to bite the bullet and tell his employees that Greg wouldn’t be back. Obviously he couldn’t let them know the real reason, so he said, “I wasn’t quite honest when I told you last week that Greg had a family emergency. In truth, he received a job offer from a company in Ohio. It was too good to turn down, and as much as I hated to, I told him he should go out to talk to the people. He did, and he accepted the job.”

  “But what about you?” Susan asked in dismay.

  “They didn’t offer a job to me,” Nick replied, trying to make light of what he knew she was really asking.

  “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. I thought the two of you…” She sighed.

  “We had a good thing going,” Nick said. “But when it came down to it, I wasn’t about to stand in his way. We had a long talk and I convinced him that his career was more important than anything else, including me.”

  “He’s fucking crazy,” Helen said, then blushed. “Sorry for the language.”

  Nick smiled. “For a couple of days I thought so too, even though I pushed him into leaving. Now…” He shrugged then moved the meeting on to what needed to be discussed, business wise.

  * * * *

  It was Tuesday evening, after a stressful day at the office, and Nick needed to work it off the way he sometimes did when that happened. Or the way he had, before Greg had come into his life, and his bed.

  With a thought, he was deep in the mountains. Not at the path he and Greg had used. He’d never go back there. It held too many memories.

  The moment he landed, and after making certain no one was around—unlikely given the time and the cold weather—he shifted. Then he ran, racing through the trees, trying to outrun his thoughts and the emotions they engendered. He succeeded, for a time, pouring all his concentration into what he was doing—not why.

  It worked and eventually worn out, he collapsed in a small clearing. The moon was full and he wondered if his father—compelled to shift because he was a full werewolf—was enjoying his run. Probably as much as I did, although for different reasons. That thought brought Nick back to reality. If I’d handled it differently, would Greg have been able to accept what I am? A question he’d asked too many times over the last week. He knew the answer. Nothing he could have said or done would have softened the blow.

  He could have stayed where he was, sleeping in his wolf form until the rising sun woke him. It was tempting, but it wouldn’t have solved anything. Shifting, clothing himself with a thought, he teleported home.

  The moment he landed in his bedroom, he knew he wasn’t the only one in his house. His pulse quickened as he hurried downstairs—not from fear, although there was an edge of that, but in anticipation.

  Greg was standing at the living room window. He turned when Nick entered the room, various emotions flashing over his face—trepidation, relief, and perhaps love, although Nick wasn’t certain he wasn’t reading that into what he was seeing because he wanted it to be there.

  “How…?” Nick hesitated. “How did you get in here?”

  Greg almost smiled. “Pried a basement window open, hoping like hell it wouldn’t set off the alarms. I guess you forgot to turn on the security when you left.”

  “I did,” Nick replied. “Stupid, but…” He took a step toward Greg, stopping when Greg held up his hand.

  “I have to—We have to talk,” Greg said. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.” He looked away momentarily. “Too much thinking, not all of it good. The way we left things?” He shook his head.

  “You did what I had expected. Not what I’d hoped, but I knew that would be the outcome.”

  Greg nodded. “I’m sure you did.” He looked around. “You haven’t changed things around, I see.”

  Nick shrugged. “It’s only been a week.”

  “Ten days. A very long ten days.” Greg finally moved to take a seat on the sofa.

  Knowing sitting at the other end would be unwise at the moment, Nick settled in the armchair, looking expectantly at Greg.

  “As I said,” Greg began. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Seeing you do that thing, becoming a werewolf…Damn, Nick. That’s impossible, and yet I did see it. Not like some special effect in a movie. It was real and it fucking scared the hell out of me. I tried to rationalize it as some sort of mind trick. Something a vampire would do, which would have been possible since you said you had that in you, too. Of course that would have meant I believed you did. But how could I?”

  “Because you loved me,” Nick said softly.

  “But was love enough?” Greg replied. “To find out the man I care so deeply about was some creature out of myths and horror stories.” He stared at Nick, as if trying to reconcile the man he was seeing now with the one who had turned into a werewolf in front of his eyes. “After I ran, and got totally lost for a while, I found a road and a nice guy who gave me a lift back down here.”

  He paused for a moment before continuing. “I got a room in a third-rate motel on the edge of the city. I figured I’d be safe enough there. I slept, hell, almost twenty-four hours, believe it or not. I figured later it was my mind protecting me from thinking about what had happened until I had the strength to deal with it. When I got up, I found a place to eat and then wandered the streets. I kept looking at people, wondering if some of them were…supernatural, I guess.”

  “That’s the general term for us,” Nick said. “There aren’t all that many wandering around, at least compared to the billions of humans.”

  “I would hope not. That idea is scary, to put it mildly. Or rather, it was at first. Anyway, back to what I was saying. Tuesday, I did some research. I’m sure the librari
ans thought I was writing a story and wanted to know the myths behind vampires and werewolves. I came away with the feeling those old timers were frightened of anything they couldn’t understand and came up with a way to explain it away. Last Wednesday I decided—” Greg chuckled, “—I was beginning to look like a street person since I was wearing, and sleeping in, the same things I had on Sunday. I snuck back home to get some clothes and what have you, cleaned up, and took off. I was going to go back home but how could I explain why to my folks. Instead I found a different motel, in a different city, and I’ve spent the last few days working things out in my head.”

  Nick nodded. “I’m afraid to ask what conclusions you came to.”

  “In the end, it was very simple. Just because you’re a bit different from most people—” his lips curled up in a wry grin momentarily, “—you’re still the man I fell in love with. A good man. And honorable man or you wouldn’t have risked telling me, knowing what could happen when you did—what did happen. I had to reconcile the two sides of you and accept I still love you, not matter what.”

  Nick heaved a sigh of relief, although he felt compelled to ask, “Are you certain?”

  “I’ve never been more certain of anything. I love you. It’s not something I have any control over. I love you, and if you’re willing, I want us to be together again.”

  “Willing? God yes I’m willing.” Nick was on his feet seconds later, crossing to where Greg sat. Or where he had been sitting because he stood, taking Nick in his arms.

  “I missed you,” Greg said. “So damned much. If I’d had brain one—”

  Nick put a finger to Greg’s lips. “You’d have done the same thing because you had to. I realized that. It’s why, well, part of the reason why I wouldn’t let my parents go looking for you. Why I didn’t look for you, as much as I wanted to. You had to put everything together and decide for yourself what you wanted to do.”