Love's Wall

by Karen Deen

  “Why would two young party girls want to hang out at the park with two seven-year old’s and their old spinster mother? Don’t get me wrong, they would love it and I would like the company. I just don’t want to take up your time and bore you with a play date.” My mind was feeling a little excited that maybe, after all these years of being in the city, I was finally making a couple of close friends. I was trying not to get my hopes up and was offering them an out so that they could change their minds after just being polite.

  “Are you for real?” they echoed at the same time. “Of course, we want to meet them and spend time with you all. We can’t get you to come out with us, so the next best thing is to go on a play date.” Lilly stared so hard into my soul with her forceful eyes that I didn’t dare say no. I lightly nodded and they both gave a little squeal of joy. I held my breath and wondered what I had gotten myself into. We exchanged phone numbers, so we could organize it during the week.

  While we were chatting, a call got put through to my counter. “Can you girls just hang on two seconds while I take this?” They smiled while I lifted the receiver.

  “Hi Emily, sorry. It’s Patricia from the office at the school. We have Sophia in the sick bay because she feels like she is going to be sick and has pains in her tummy. She was crying a little and asked us to ring you. Samuel is with her because he wouldn’t let her be on her own. He said it was his job to look after her. Can you please come and pick them up? We have a virus going around the school and don’t have room in sick bay for them to stay there.” Shit, shit, shit. How was I going to get bitch face to let me go early to pick them up? This was going to be a disaster.

  “Okay, thanks Patricia. Tell them I will be there as soon as I can.”

  “What’s wrong, Emily, you look like you just got bad news? Are you ok?”

  “Oh girls, I don’t think I can take much more of this. That was the school. Sophia is sick, and I need to pick them up. Samuel is being the protective big brother.” They both knew what this meant.

  “Alesha, you stay here with Emily and I will go and butter up the devil a bit, get her in a good mood. Buzz her phone in two minutes to come over. Let’s see if we can pull this off!” Lilly marched over to the cashier’s counter with her eyeshadow and I could see her chatting to my manager, laughing that fake laugh while she threw compliments at her.

  I looked at Alesha and said, “Wish me luck,” then picked up the phone to buzz the cashier desk.

  As her eyes meet mine, the wicked witch told me she would be here in a minute. My heart pounded as I saw her round the counter and start towards me with Lilly in tow.

  “What is it, Emily? What is so important?”

  “I’m really sorry, but I just got a call from the school and I have to leave. The kids are sick, and I have to pick them up.” My knees shook as I watched the redness crawl up her face and her eyes get wider.

  “I am sorry, Emily, but you can’t leave. That is not a good enough reason.”

  What the hell was she talking about - not a good enough reason? Who the hell did she think she was? My blood pressure started roaring up so high that I could hear it pulsing through my ears.

  “Pardon me, what did you just say? Did you just say my children who are sick are not important enough for me to take time off and go to them?” Alesha placed her hand on my back to help me stay calm and show her support, but it wasn’t working.

  “How dare you.” My voice was now raising up a few octaves because nobody ever makes a remark about my children. It just resulted in me coming out of my corner swinging.

  “I suggest you lower your voice, Emily, and listen to what I tell you. If you want to keep your job, you will call the school and tell them that you will be there at the normal time to pick up the children. They will let you know if they get any worse.” She stood there with her arms crossed, exerting her power in her body language.

  “I will not lower my voice. As I said, my children are unwell, and I will be leaving now to go pick them up and take them home. I will let you know if they are well enough for me to return to work tomorrow.” I ground my teeth together, trying to keep a lid on the aggression which was just about to let loose. I turned to head towards the locker room to get my bag.

  “Stop right there, Emily. If you leave work today, you will not be required for work tomorrow or any other day. You have been issued several warnings and this is your last. By taking time off today, you will be dismissed without any notice.”

  I stopped but didn’t bother to turn and face her. “I will clear out my locker and leave in five minutes. I will be writing to your boss to explain why you felt the need to relieve me of my job, as well as the union and the media. Nobody tells me to put anything before my children. They are my world.” I stomped off without even looking around.

  I threw open the door to the locker room and it hit the wall with a loud bang. I slumped down on the stool and put my head in my hands.

  Oh my God, what have I done?

  I have lost my job, which means no food or roof over our heads. My breathing started to quicken, and I struggle for breath. This can’t happen, I need to get to the kids. Try to concentrate Emily. You can fall apart later. Breathe in, out, then in, out, then in.

  Hold it together.

  You are strong.

  We will work this out.

  Oh, who am I kidding? There is no ‘we’. I am on my own, just like always. My legs shaky, I start stuffing the few things in my locker into a bag. Not that I had much to pack. My mind was racing as fast as a race car at full throttle. I took one look around the room and headed for the door.

  As I exited the locker room, there was Lilly giving my manager a piece of her mind, with Alesha backing her up. Lilly was the head strong one, but Alesha would never let her go into battle on her own.

  I couldn’t deal with any more, so I took off out the side door and ran down the road to the school. By the time I entered the office at the school to get the kids, I was a sweaty mess. Again.

  “Hi Patricia, sorry it took me a bit longer than I thought.” She looked me up and down. “Sorry, just give me two seconds to catch my breath then I will get you to grab the kids for me.”

  Again, Patricia just glared at me. I am sure she was thinking I was a nut job, but I had given up caring today. I counted to ten and took a big breath, then relaxed a little and smiled. “Where is Sophia and Samuel, can I see them now?”

  After getting the kids on the bus and home, I settled Sophia on the couch watching her favorite Disney movie Lilo and Stitch. She could quote it word for word. Come to think of it so could I.

  Samuel set himself up next to her, just to be close so he could make sure she was okay.

  I walked into the bathroom and turned on the tap to cover the tears and sobs that were now streaming down my cheeks. I couldn’t hold them in anymore. What the hell was I going to do? I knew this morning this day would turn to shit, and I was right, but I never dreamed it would be this bad. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.

  Unfortunately, whether I like it or not, life keeps throwing it at me anyway.

  3

  Zach

  I SHOULD HAVE asked for a double shot of coffee this morning. Then again, maybe I should have asked for a dash of scotch to go with the coffee to get me through.

  Today would be a tough day, they always were when you were telling people they needed to find a new home. Although we always tried to give the tenants plenty of notice, so they have time to find a replacement, there was always a few tenants that struggled for whatever reason. We had the correct paperwork in place. Bob Walter made sure all the eviction notices were correct, in order and that there was no way we could get caught up in legal action.

  People become emotional when we are, effectively, kicking them out of their home. I can’t blame them at all. It was the worst part of my job. If Grant had his way, he would just have a messenger deliver them all, but I can’t do that. It isn’t right, and I believed we should do it persona
lly.

  Although, every time I turned up to start at a new site, I regretted not listening to Grant. Today was no exception. A lot of the tenants were not wealthy as the sites we were evicting them from were usually run down. The tenants lived there because they were cheap.

  I am lucky in that I have never known what it was like to grow up in a home that was struggling for money. Don’t get me wrong, we were never rolling in money, but Dad worked hard and provided well for our family. We weren’t spoilt and had to get part-time work as kids to save for things that were luxuries.

  “Good hard work never hurt anyone,” Dad used to say. Or, “You never get anywhere by sitting on your backside and holding your hand out.” His words were so true, and we had all grown up and learned to work just as hard as Dad and Mom to get what we wanted.

  If you were to look at my sisters, you would think they were spoilt girls living off trust funds the way they looked and shopped. The truth be known, they worked just as hard as us boys and deserved every pair of shoes they wished to splurge on if that is what they chose.

  I, on the other hand, had a few weaknesses that were much more expensive than shoes. I loved my house, and of course my cars. Both loved to suck me of money at every chance they got. But I didn’t regret any of it. As I stood in front of the Branch Street property with papers in hand, I knew how lucky I was. Having a safe and welcoming home to go to at night. Each night when I put my head on the pillow, I knew my home was mine and nobody could take it from me. Most of these people had never known that luxury.

  I stood on the curb looking up at the apartment block with its crumbling brick walls and sad-looking roof. The garden had long been just a bed of weeds and looked like it’d been a very long time since it had seen any color. The path leading up to the first block was all cracked and uneven, but still holding together. Walking up the path, I went through the words in my mind of how I was going to deliver the news. I needed to show how genuinely upset we were about the eviction and how they were welcome to call our office for help to relocate. Grant hated that I offered that but I had a heart and could never just throw someone out and not care.

  I decided to start at the back of the complex and work my way towards the road. I had forty-five of them to do and it would take me all afternoon, if everyone was home. Okay, take a deep breath and get started, Zach. The sooner you start, the sooner the pain will be over. The first door opened after I had given it a light tap to reveal an elderly man who walked hunched over with a limp. My heart sank, and I knew this afternoon was going to be hard.

  At each door, as I went through the situation over and over, receiving mixed reactions. Most were shocked and not expecting it. Some were quiet, took the papers and closed the door. Others were far more vocal, ranging from yelling, to tears and even a punch being thrown with Mr. Espizido. He threatened me to get off his land or he would call the police. I didn’t want to correct him and state that I owned the land. That really wasn’t a threat. He was upset, and I understood that, so just apologized and backed away from his front door.

  For a moment, I thought maybe I should have listened to Grant and had security with me. It just wasn’t in my nature to come in heavy handed. Grant tends to disagree and says it isn’t like that, it’s just to keep me safe if things got out of hand.

  One of the last stops for me was one I wasn’t looking forward to. Apartment fifteen which is on the bottom floor in the second block, close to the front of the complex. It was where I had spotted the cute little boy and girl the other day when I was here taking photos. They looked the same age and were happily chatting on the front step when they saw me across the road.

  A bit wary at first, they quietly just watched until I lowered the camera and smiled at them. Both of their faces lit up like sunshine as they waved back. They glanced back at the front door, obviously waiting for someone, and then turned to wave again. They giggled as they talked to each other while watching me with the camera. I didn’t want to scare them, so I kept moving into the complex to take the other photos I needed. I was in a hurry to get the last pictures and get back to the office. I didn’t want to be late for the family meeting and God help me if I turned up to the meeting not prepared. Not that most would have minded but Master Grant would crucify me for not being prepared.

  One day I would love for him to be rattled a little and turn up missing something. We would never let him live it down! As serious as we all are about the business at the end of the day there was still the family ribbing that happened.

  I hoped that never changes.

  I looked at the eviction notice in my hand for Apartment fifteen and the name of the tenant read ‘Emily Jacobs’. She was the only person on the lease, which made me nervous. She was a single mother with children and I was about to evict them and put them out on the street. I would take plenty of punches from Mr. Espizido rather than go down and knock on Apartment fifteens door. I stood looking up at the sky for a moment, getting ready in my head what I was going to say before I headed down the path. Luckily, it was during school time, so at least the kids wouldn’t be home while I delivered the sad news. It would give their Mom time to get over the shock and upset before it was time to get them from school. I had only seen two kids, but I wasn’t sure if there were any others.

  Digging deep and breathing in a big breath, I started down the path to the door and up the three concrete steps to the front porch where the two little sunshine faces had stood yesterday and made me smile.

  As I raised my fist to the door, I hesitated, and my stomach clenched tight. I can do this, it is not anything personal and I will make sure she finds somewhere else to lease. I would never see a woman and her children on the streets or not safe. No one in the family would let that happen, ever. We took pride in our values, both in business and life. Looking after those less fortunate was one of them.

  Okay. Man up, Zach, and get this over with.

  I knocked three times and could hear a small amount of noise coming from the apartment, possibly from a television. Someone was home, so at least I could get this over and done with. I heard little footsteps running away from the door and a voice calling out to his Mom that there was someone at the door. I stood patiently waiting as I heard more footsteps, heavier this time. They were getting closer, which made my heart speed up with the anticipation of the door opening. I heard a sweet voice near the door telling the little boy to go back to the lounge room and keep an eye on his sister. No such luck to time it with no kids, but no backing out now. I could hear my heart beating in my ears, it was pounding that loud. The door opened, and my heart just stopped, and all my words frozen. Looking up at me was the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were soft and a gorgeous blue color that was like the sky on a summer’s day. When I looked deep into her eyes, though, I could see a sad soul. One who had lived a hard path. I stepped back because it took me by surprise. I wasn’t like that. I was never one to be caught off-guard like this. I pulled myself together long enough to introduce myself, as Emily looked up at me, wondering who I was and what I wanted.

  “Hello, Ms. Jacobs. My name is Zach Stevenson, from Stevenson Developments and Constructions. We are the owners of this building. I am sorry to say I am not here with good news today. We are in the process of handing out eviction notices because the buildings are going to be demolished. A new apartment complex is going to be built in its place.” I stopped to take a breath because I knew I had been talking too fast, trying to get it all out and over and done with. I was going to crush the world of the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. My life totally sucked right now, and I couldn’t do a thing to fix it. I looked back up from my feet, not realizing I had looked at the ground the whole way through my speech.

  When I reached Emily’s face and looked back in her eyes, I knew I had taken a knife and stabbed it straight through her heart. It was bleeding all over the ground and the pain was killing her. Emily hadn’t said a word, but she didn’t need to. Her face told me everything I needed
to know. I had just pulled her world out under her and she was free falling with nobody to catch her.

  For the first time in my life I had that uncontrollable feeling of wanting to be the person to catch her when she was falling, take away her pain and make her safe. It was crazy as I had seen her for just under five minutes, but already I knew I couldn’t let her go. Life was about to get complicated, I knew it and there wasn’t a damn thing I would be able to do to stop it. But did I even want to stop it? That would be the question I couldn’t even begin to think about.

  She hadn’t said anything and was just standing there staring at me. I could see the tears building in her eyes.

  “Don’t worry though, Ms. Jacobs. We have given you plenty of time to find another apartment and I’ve included my phone number on the papers. If you have any trouble finding another place, I can step in and try to help relocate you.” Still, I was met with silence. I could see she was trying hard to keep her emotions under control before she opened her mouth to speak.

  “I don’t know what to say,” Emily replied quietly, almost whispering. “I just don’t know what I am going to do.” The tears slid down her face. She looked like one of those little porcelain dolls with the painted tear drops on their cheeks. Her tears were quiet but making a constant trail down her face. She held her breath to keep the flood gates from opening up. Just as I was about to speak again, we heard a little boy yelling for his Mom.

  Emily

  I just stood there, frozen.

  I couldn’t breathe, talk, move or even function. What the hell had I done in another life? What could I have possibly done that was so bad that I deserved this to happen to me and to my children? Suddenly, Sammy’s voice broke through my stunned silence and snapped me into action.