Burden

by K. C. Wells

  Jesse made comments throughout the movie, laughing at Hugh Grant’s roommate as he flexed in his underwear for the press, and sighing when Julia Roberts impulsively kissed Hugh. His eyes started to close before the end, however, not that Randy was all that surprised. Jesse really had seemed tired when he’d turned up at the coffee shop. When Jesse leaned into him, his breathing more regular, Randy knew he’d fallen asleep.

  Randy sat there, not wanting to move, Jesse’s golden head against his shoulder, his breathing slow and even. Randy craned his neck to look at him, trying not to disturb him. God, he looks so peaceful. Jesse had changed a little since the Black Lounge days. He was leaner in the face, for one thing, but it suited him. He’d always been a slim thing back then, but there seemed to be more definition in his arms these days. That haircut made his face appear softer, accentuating his beauty.

  There. Randy could admit that much to himself. He found another man beautiful.

  He switched off the TV and closed his eyes, drinking in the moment. A warm feeling of peace washed over him, and Randy exulted in the unfamiliar sensation. It felt… good.

  Better than that, it felt… right.

  The call of nature was not going to be ignored, however, and Randy had to move. He got up very slowly, conscious of Jesse’s weight against him. Jesse stirred a little, then sighed as Randy eased him down onto the couch. By the time Randy got back from the bathroom, Jesse was fast asleep.

  Randy didn’t have the heart to wake him, not when he clearly needed the sleep. He went into his bedroom, removed a sheet and pillow from the closet, and brought them back to the couch. He covered Jesse with the sheet, but as he tried to gently lift Jesse’s head to slip the pillow under it, Jesse awoke, blinking.

  “Oh wow. I was totally gone there,” he said groggily. He struggled into a sitting position. “I should leave.”

  Randy gently but firmly pushed him back down onto the couch. “You can sleep here. It’s a comfy couch. I should know—I’ve fallen asleep on it enough times. Stay. Have breakfast with me in the morning before I go to work.” Jesse opened his mouth to protest, but Randy gave him a firm stare. “You got anything else you need to be doing right now? Anywhere you need to be?”

  After a moment, Jesse shook his head. “No.”

  “Fine. Then you stay.” Randy nodded toward the kitchen area. “There are glasses in the cabinet above the sink if you want water. There’s a new toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet. I’ll put out a towel for ya. If you need anything, my room is the far door on the left of where you came in, all right?”

  Jesse nodded, smiling faintly. “Thanks.”

  “No problem. Now go back to sleep.”

  Jesse snickered. “God save me from bossy cops.” He kicked off his sneakers. “I should brush my teeth,” he said, midyawn. “I hate waking up with garlic breath.” Another yawn, this one longer.

  “Sure. Whatever.” Randy watched, amused, as Jesse lay down and rolled over to face the back of the couch, stuffing the pillow under his head. Randy stared at him, the long line of his body beneath the sheet, the slow movement as he breathed evenly. He clicked off the lamp in the corner and crept toward his room.

  Once inside, he softly closed the door. He undressed quickly and got into bed.

  What a great evening. Randy had loved every minute of it. He could have woken Jesse and let him go home, sure, but he hadn’t wanted Jesse to leave. They’d had more than a few laughs during the movie, and they hadn’t put away all that much beer. What had surprised Randy most was how relaxed he felt in Jesse’s company.

  Well, we’re not exactly strangers, are we? Granted, Jesse hadn’t been working in the Black Lounge the whole time Randy had been there undercover, but Jesse had been an easy person to get along with. Plus, there had been all the times they’d met up during the trial. Maybe that’s why it feels so natural to be around him. We’ve moved on from being cop and witness to being friends.

  Except friend wasn’t the right word for Jesse. It was a hell of a lot more complicated than that.

  Randy closed his eyes, trying not to think of Jesse in the next room.

  I’d love to do this again.

  He didn’t want this to be a one-off.

  JESSE STRETCHED and yawned. He had no clue of the time, but he’d slept like a log. He patted his jeans pockets for his phone before realizing it was on the floor beside the couch where he’d left it the night before. Jesse picked it up and peered at the screen. Six fifteen.

  He had no idea what time Randy usually left for work, but he figured it would be early.

  In that case, I’ll put the coffee on. Then he reconsidered. First priority was cleaning his teeth, because… yuck.

  Jesse got up off the couch, folded the sheet neatly, and deposited it on top of the pillow. Randy had been right about the couch—it had been supremely comfortable. Jesse padded through the apartment to the bathroom and located the toothbrush Randy had mentioned. What the hell was I thinking last night? Garlic? Gum was definitely going to be on the agenda for the rest of the day, not to mention a damn good shower when he got home. Garlic was usually a no-no, but Jesse had been so hungry, and those knots had smelled so damn good, he hadn’t been able to resist.

  His ablutions finished, he went into the kitchen area and did a quick hunt for the coffee. The red plastic container of Folgers wasn’t hard to find, and Jesse set up the coffee machine. Next, he found a large white ceramic container with the word BREAD on it, sitting next to a toaster. Perfect.

  By the time the coffee had dripped its way into the pot, the toast was done. Jesse went to Randy’s door and knocked gently. No response. He knocked a little harder. “Randy? There’s coffee and toast when you’re ready.”

  “Huh?” A pause. “Really?”

  Jesse chuckled. “Yes, really. Come and get it.” He went back to the living room, where he’d placed two mugs and two plates of toast on the coffee table.

  Randy emerged from his room, looking bleary-eyed and pretty damn cute.

  “Good morning.”

  “Mornin’.” Randy sniffed the air. “That’s nice to wake up to. You’ll have to stay over again.” He flopped down onto the couch and reached for the coffee, then smiled after the first mouthful. “And you make good coffee.”

  Jesse snickered. “What’s difficult about making coffee?”

  “You’d be surprised. My dad can’t make coffee for shit.” Randy took another drink from his mug. “Oh yeah. You can definitely stay here again.”

  Jesse laughed. “You just love me for my coffee.” It was a joke, of course, but one that gave him a pang. What I’d give for you to love me for real. Jesse gave himself a swift mental kick in the ass. Enough with the torture. He glanced over at Randy, who appeared not to have reacted to his words. Good.

  They finished the toast and coffee in silence. Randy took the mugs and plates over to the sink. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower before work. If you want, you can go now, or you can leave with me. We’ll be heading in the same direction, after all.”

  Jesse liked that. Anything to spend more time in Randy’s company. “I’ll leave when you do.”

  “Great. Then I’d better get my ass in gear. I won’t be long.” He disappeared toward the bathroom.

  Jesse proceeded to wash the dishes, listening to the sound of running water on the other side of the wall. He had to smile when Randy started singing. Whitney Houston? Really? Jesse chuckled, then started singing along to “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.” He caught Randy’s laugh, and then both of them were singing, Randy slapping the bathroom wall in time to the music.

  Now there’s a new experience.

  By the time Randy was ready to leave, Jesse had put away the dishes and made sure the living room was tidy. Randy gave him an appreciative glance. “You just wanna be sure of an invite back, don’tcha?”

  Jesse sighed dramatically. “Damn. You saw straight through me.” As Randy unlocked the front door, Jesse stopped him with a hand to his arm. “About las
t night. Thanks. I had such a good time. And thanks for letting me sleep on the couch.”

  Randy peered at him. “Looks like it did you some good. And you’re welcome. Seriously. I had a great time too.” He paused. “By the way, joking aside… I’d really like it if we could do this again sometime.”

  And that right there made Jesse’s day. “I’d love to.”

  Randy’s smile lit up his face, reaching his eyes. “Great.” He opened the door, and Jesse stepped out into the hallway to wait while Randy locked up. Randy’s words gave him a warm feeling that he knew would stay with him.

  What a perfect way to start a day.

  Too bad it was back to reality.

  Chapter Ten

  RANDY STARED at the tickets in his hand. “You sure about this?” He still couldn’t believe his luck.

  Detective Mona Lawrence laughed. “Course I’m sure. I’m not gonna be able to use ’em, now, am I? Not with the in-laws suddenly decidin’ they’re gonna visit for the whole damn weekend. I’m glad you want ’em. Thing is, are you sure you can find someone to go with ya at such short notice?”

  “Oh yeah.” That was a no-brainer.

  She grinned. “You got someone in mind, don’tcha? Who’s the lucky girl?”

  “Just a friend.” Randy smiled to himself. Jesse is gonna flip when he hears this. “Thanks again, Mona.” He smirked. “By the way. Nice outfit.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yeah. What you really mean is, nice tits.” She adjusted her cleavage in her tight-fitting cerise top. “I swear, some of the guys’ eyes were out on stalks when I walked through here this morning. The sooner I’m off these stings, the better. I’m gettin’ real tired of playin’ the hooker.”

  Randy patted her arm. “I feel for ya, really. I’m on next week.” Time to once again wait in a seedy hotel room for johns to show up so he could arrest them.

  She nodded. “Oh well. I’m outta here. See ya.” She walked away from him, and he couldn’t resist.

  “Really rockin’ those killer heels, Mona. You should wear those more often.”

  Without even turning her head, she flipped him the bird.

  Randy laughed. He’d worked with Mona ever since the squad had been put together. She was a damn fine detective and had worked her ass off on the sting operations. And probably her feet, too, in those heels. Thank God Randy could wear pretty much what he damn well pleased.

  He went over to his desk and got out his phone to compose a text.

  Hey, got a minute?

  Jesse’s reply was swift. Sure. What’s up?

  Okay to call?

  Seconds later, his phone rang. “Hey.”

  “Do you have anything planned for the Fourth?”

  A moment of silence. “Not at the moment. I’ll be busy over the weekend, though. Got a shift in a restaurant, but that’s just Saturday and Sunday morning. Why?”

  “How’d you like to go to Coney Island?”

  Jesse snickered. “Really?”

  “Wait, hear me out. There’s a new venue opening up, the Amphitheater, and they’ve got a concert Monday night to celebrate. And I’ve just been given a pair of tickets to it.”

  “Oh, cool. Who’s playing?”

  “Well, it might not be your kind of music, but—”

  “Quit stalling and tell me,” Jesse said with a laugh.

  “The Beach Boys.”

  Another pause. “Seriously? Hell yeah. You know me, I love music concerts. The Beach Boys? Talk about iconic. Wow.”

  Randy loved the excitement in Jesse’s voice. “Hey, I just had an idea. I’m not working the Fourth, so why don’t we make a day of it? You know, Luna Park, ride the Cyclone, the Ferris Wheel…. There’s the hot-dog-eating contest at Nathan’s too. Have you ever been to Coney Island?”

  “A couple of times, when I first came to New York. The whole day?”

  “Sure! We can catch the train from midtown, maybe midmorning. The hot-dog contest, then a stroll along the boardwalk. Fried clams and a beer at Ruby’s, then spend the rest of the day in the park. The concert starts at seven, and then there’s the fireworks. Just be prepared for it being real busy there. It’s the place in NYC to celebrate the Fourth.”

  “Are the seats good?”

  Randy laughed. “Would it matter if they were all the way at the back? Gimme a sec.” He pulled the tickets from his wallet and peered at them. “Wow. I’m really gonna owe Mona. These are damn good seats.” They were in the front half of the amphitheater.

  “You sure you wanna go with me? I mean, isn’t there anyone else you could take along? Not that I don’t love the idea, you understand. I just don’t want to take someone else’s place.”

  Randy closed his eyes. There is no one I would rather spend the Fourth with than you. He cleared his throat. “Yes, I’m sure. I wouldn’t have asked you otherwise.”

  “Then okay. Let me know nearer the time where you want to meet. And… thanks, Randy. This is so cool.”

  “You’re welcome. Have a good weekend, and I’m glad you’ve got some work lined up. I’ll see you Monday.” Randy disconnected the call, then put away his phone. Jesse hadn’t hesitated to tell him about the work he’d be doing, and it sounded plausible, but Randy couldn’t help wondering if it was a lie. Because there was some part at the back of his mind that was certain Jesse was soliciting.

  Right then, Randy wanted to believe he had it all wrong. Except he didn’t have time to think about such things.

  He had work to do.

  RANDY HAD just gotten out of the shower when there was a knock at his door. He grinned. Like I don’t know who that is. He opened it to find Owen standing there, looking smart-casual in a pair of black jeans and a white shirt, with a slim gold chain around his neck.

  “It must be Friday,” Randy quipped.

  Owen looked him up and down. “That towel doesn’t suit you. Take it off.” He leered.

  Randy rolled his eyes. “Get in here.” He stood aside to let Owen enter. “Go sit while I put some clothes on.” He didn’t wait for a response but went into his bedroom, leaving the door ajar. “I keep telling ya, you really need to try out these lines on a boyfriend, you know, not your straight neighbor,” he called out.

  He caught Owen’s chuckle. “Sorry. Not buying the straight part, not anymore.”

  Randy opened his closet and removed a clean pair of jeans. “Was there something you wanted, or did you just come over here to cast doubts on my sexuality?” He had more than enough of those himself. He squirmed into his jeans.

  “How would you feel about going for a drink tonight?”

  “What, and miss our Friday night in with a bottle or two of wine?”

  There was a pause, and then Owen spoke from the other side of the door. “Are you decent?”

  Randy laughed. “Like you haven’t already peeked. Yes.” He pulled the door open. “Okay, what’s this about a drink?”

  Owen stared at him and sighed. “I always guessed there was a hairy chest lurking beneath your clothes. You just made me a happy man.”

  Randy flung the damp towel at him. “When you’ve finished lusting after what you can’t have…. You said a drink?”

  Owen placed the towel at the foot of Randy’s bed, then stepped back. “Ever been to a gay bar?”

  Randy snorted. “Lots of times.”

  “You mean for work, right?” When Randy nodded, Owen smiled triumphantly. “As I thought. Well, I’d like to take you for a drink in a gay bar I know.”

  It sounded innocent enough, but Randy’s heartbeat quickened and something fluttered in his stomach. “Why a gay bar in particular?” Except he already knew the answer to that one.

  Owen leaned against the doorframe. “The last time we spoke, I sensed a great deal of curiosity in you. I just wondered if you’d like to satisfy that curiosity. Nothing heavy, mind, just a drink in a bar, surrounded by gay men. Actually, not just gay men. Probably all shades of the LGBTQI spectrum.” He gave Randy an easy smile. “What harm would it do to go
for a couple of drinks in a public bar?”

  No harm that Randy could think of, apart from the fact that his heart was pounding at the mere thought.

  He could refuse.

  He could make an excuse.

  Except Randy knew Owen had nailed it. He was curious.

  “Fine. A couple of drinks, no more.”

  Owen’s eyes lit up. “Excellent. In that case, choose what else you’re wearing, and we can go.”

  Randy burst out laughing. “Excuse me? There’s this little thing you might have heard of, it’s called food. Really useful. Keeps you from fainting after a long day at work.”

  Owen waved a hand. “We can eat near there. Tons of places to eat. And if I wait until you’ve eaten, you’ll change your mind, so uh-uh.” He pointed to the closet. “Shirt. Choose one. Casual.”

  Randy gave up and pulled a black shirt from its hanger.

  “Ooh, the man in black. Very sexy.”

  Randy glared at him. “Down, boy. Or I will change my mind.”

  Owen mimed zipping his lips and left the room.

  Randy slipped his arms into the short-sleeved shirt, his heartbeat still not back to its normal level. “What am I getting myself into?” He knew this was irrational. He had nothing to fear from a drink in a gay bar. He’d been in gay bars before.

  Then why am I nervous?

  RANDY PERCHED on the high white barstool and gazed at his surroundings. Rise was in Hell’s Kitchen and, at first glance, appeared to be very popular—and not what he’d expected. The music was a great mix of modern and throwback, with two large screens showing videos at one end of the bar. The place was packed, and what surprised him was the clientele. He’d anticipated a very young crowd, but what he saw was a mix of all ages, including older guys maybe in their fifties who seemed perfectly at ease with the fun, upbeat, happy vibe that filled the bar. The bartenders…. Oh my.