Hearts Divided

by Masters, Ellie

“But not with the band…”

  “I can’t compete with Ash. His voice is crazy good.”

  Perhaps, but Sebastian could certainly lend that magical voice to the backup vocals.

  Sebastian turns the intensity of his piercing blue gaze on her. Immersed in the beauty of his presence she’s not prepared for the fire simmering in those eyes. Her hand flies to her belly, but it’s not quieting the raging butterflies inside. The look he gives is feral and ravenous. His gaze slides down her body, sweeping head to toe as he devours and claims. It’s a look without hesitation or apology, and time itself stands still. A gasp hitches in her chest, but she’s not running and straightens as she keeps her eyes steady on him. His smile is gone, replaced by something much darker, needier, and dangerous.

  But he made a promise.

  She needs to know he’ll honor it, because she desperately wants to feel safe with him. A shudder works its way down her spine. The butterflies in her gut flutter about, making her tremble and sway. Sebastian lifts his thumb to his mouth and traces the seam of his lips, looking ready to devour her bit by bit. The intensity of his gaze is difficult to face, and even harder to stand up to, because the man is chiseled, hard, and determined. Then she realizes a terrifying truth; she’s not coming out the other side of this unscathed.

  Since he’s in no hurry, she takes the time to admire him. Eyes of the deepest blue make another path along her body as she takes in the hard-cut lines of his jaw, clean-shaven like his head. He’s strong and resilient, dedicated to the memory of his twin, and utterly breathtaking. Beautiful doesn’t describe him. He’s entrancing, captivating, and arresting in the severity of how his entire focus centers on her.

  He sweeps his gaze up from her feet, moving along her skinny legs, knobby knees, and pencil thin thighs. She’s underweight and feeling subconscious about her bony hips and barely there breasts. This man has seen all the shapes possible in the female form and gorged himself on their pleasures. She’s not worthy to stand beside the women who grace his bed and won’t ever measure up to them. Not that she wants to become one of so many.

  “You’re breathtakingly beautiful.” His voice is low and scratchy. Needy. He shifts Duke in his lap and adjusts himself, not in the least bit concerned about revealing how hard he is beneath that zipper.

  She tears her eyes away from his lap and vows to only look him in the eyes from here on out. It’s a promise she’s doomed to lose.

  “Thank you.” A flush heats her cheeks, and she hates how his praise affects her. He thinks she’s pretty. Irritation rises because what he thinks shouldn’t matter.

  He stares, and she stares right back. His harsh demeanor is hard to face, but she does. The intensity he brings to each moment is downright scary, but he’s had a decade to perfect his rock god persona. There’s no denying his power, or the effect it’s having on her. Goosebumps lift and skitter down her arms, lifting the fine hairs, and making her shiver. The things he promises in the heat of that gaze aren’t things she’s ready to explore. Not yet, and maybe never, but she refuses to allow the past to ruin this moment.

  Fear is a mind killer and she’s worked hard enough to strengthen hers.

  “Are you ready to go?” She desperately needs to think about something else. An evening alone with him may not be the best choice, but it’s better than thinking about what they could do in her apartment for the rest of the night.

  His gaze is moving again, laying devastation in its wake. He’s savoring a feast to come, but it’s not something she can give.

  “You’re killing me, smalls,” he says with a shake of his head. “Like, I’m dying over here.” But he’s up, unbending his tall, muscular frame to tower over her. The room feels smaller and her heart flutters. There’s simply too much of him. He grips the waist band of his jeans and makes another adjustment. The prominent bulge behind the zipper takes her mind on a spin of delicious torment. With a shake of her head, she forces those thoughts into the far recesses of her mind.

  “Um, how long are we going to be gone? I don’t want to leave Ranger for too long.”

  “He’s coming with us.”

  “I thought you said no dogs?”

  “I did, and they won’t be coming with us, but I intend on having you out all night. He can stay with Duke’s sitter.”

  “Sebastian, I’m sorry, but I’m not…we’re not…I can’t stay out all night.”

  He comes to her and lays a hand on her arm. “Relax and take a breath, we’re not going to do anything you don’t want to do.”

  But that’s the problem. He makes her want things she shouldn’t. He’s overwhelming and sexy as sin and…and…everything a girl could want. She’s defenseless against his charms.

  “You have no idea, do you?” He’s staring again, and she withers beneath that stormy gaze.

  “No idea about what?” Be cool! Play this cool. But she’s gangly and awkward, the farthest thing from cool.

  “How perfect you are.” He states it as fact. Almost as if he believes the lie.

  “Sebastian, that’s a little corny, even for a rock star.”

  “Corny?” He laughs. “I think you might be the first woman to ever call me that.”

  “Not you, but that line. How many times have you used it?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

  “It’s okay, Holly. Let’s take a moment and regroup. First off, it wasn’t a line. I’ve never needed a pickup line before and I’m not going to start now. Not with you.”

  “Oh.”

  “Second, I want you to do something for me.” He presses his hands to the sides of her face and cups her cheeks. “Can you do that? Do something for me?”

  “That depends on what you want.”

  “How about a little faith?”

  He gave his word, except he’s not keeping his hands to himself. The heat from his palms brand her skin and tunnels straight to her core, turning her needy and stirring a hunger she’s managed to suppress for years. But she trusts him. For whatever reason, he’s busting through her barriers and crawling inside her most private places. This is a problem, because if she’s not careful, he’ll take up residence in her heart. When he leaves, she won’t survive the devastation.

  Her voice shakes. “Okay.” That answer should be a resounding No, but she’s curious enough to see what he wants.

  He bends until his forehead touches hers. The heat of his breath reminds her of their kiss. She feels him, all of him, invading her personal bubble and making himself at home.

  “Close your eyes and breathe,” he says.

  “That’s it?”

  “Your eyes are still open, smalls.”

  His lips are mere inches from hers. Memories of that kiss fly through her head, spike her anxiety, and make her body tremble.

  “Now,” he says with authority. “Close your eyes and trust me.”

  Her eyes snap shut, responding to the command.

  “Perfect. Now, breathe with me. Slow and steady.” He takes in a deep breath and she inhales, following his lead. Then he’s pushing out his breath, slow and steady, and she’s following along. Another breath in and the beating of her heart slows. In and out, their breaths meld, unifying them. He breathes and she follows until the panic inside is nothing but a memory. A connection stirs between them, one where he captivates her will, guides it, and takes control.

  “Now, how do you feel?” He asks.

  “Better.” Her lids flutter open and she tumbles into the depths of his eyes.

  A look of concern flashes across his face until resolve steps in. “One day, you’re going to tell me.”

  “Tell you what?”

  “Your fears.”

  “Sebastian…” Those belong to her and aren’t meant to be shared.

  He brings his lips close, only a breath separates them, but he pulls back at the last second with a groan. Before he releases her, he grabs at the clip binding her hair.

  “Your hair is too bea
utiful to be put up.” His will is not to be denied.

  Her wet curls cascade down her back and bounce at her waist. Her hair is her worst feature, next to her knobby legs and bony hips. It’s wild, untamed, and refuses to be constrained.

  “My hair’s a mess and wet!”

  “And perfect, just like you.”

  “You don’t even know me.”

  “I intend to know a hell of a lot more. You’re not getting rid of me, although I see it in your eyes.”

  “See what?” What can he possibly see in her eyes?

  “Fear. Doubt. Insecurity.”

  “I’m not—”

  “—going to argue with me.” He asserts, cutting her off. “No arguments tonight. Promise me. I promised to be a gentleman, and I want you to promise not to argue about every little thing.”

  “Technically,” she says, gripping his hands, “you broke your promise.”

  “Did not.”

  “Did too.”

  “No, I didn’t. You have no idea how hard it was to sit here knowing you were naked in there. I’ve been a veritable saint.”

  “True, but you were going to keep your hands to yourself.”

  “Aw, fuck!”

  She’s laughing, because Duke is on his feet, nuzzling his master, wondering what’s wrong.

  Sebastian points. “You know that’s not what I meant. I meant groping and kissing and fucking.”

  “That may be.” She’s willing to concede the intent of his promise, but there’s something about him which makes her need to push his buttons. She can’t help herself. “Technically though…”

  “Oh, don’t get all technical on me. I kept my word, although I sure as hell didn’t want to.”

  “And you want brownie points?”

  His lids narrow. “That’s not what I want, and you know it.” His presence is undeniable. His need is a combustible force rising between them, growing more potent with each breath.

  Her voice drops to a whisper. “I don’t know if I can give you that.” Arguing is her defense mechanism, fine-tuned to keep men at arm’s length.

  He pulls her against his hard body. “I don’t know who hurt you, but dammit, I swear I’ll make him pay.”

  It wasn’t one man. It was many. But she appreciates the sentiment. Refusing to spill any tears, she tucks that memory back where it belongs. The past is the past, and that’s where it belongs.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t do this?” She pushes him away. “I’ll find a way to pay you back.”

  “Oh, there’s no way in hell we’re not doing this.”

  “Sebastian…”

  “Holly…” He closes the distance. “Promise me no more arguing.”

  “I’ll try, but you have to promise—”

  “There’s no way in hell I’m keeping my hands to myself tonight, and kissing is definitely back on the table.”

  “I’m not going to sleep with you.” She refuses to become one of his nameless fucks.

  “Never say never.”

  Her hands are on her hips. “Promise you won’t…”

  He’s rolling his eyes. “Goddammit, Holly, but you’ll be the death of me. If it helps you relax, I promise to keep keeping my junk in my jeans, but not the rest. I have every intention of touching you.”

  And kissing. She completes his thought in her mind. She won’t survive another of his kisses.

  She sucks in a breath and seals her fate. “Okay, I guess I’m ready.”

  “Don’t be so excited about it,” he says with sarcasm. “You really should give me a chance. I’m a pretty nice guy when you get to know me.”

  That’s exactly what she’s afraid of. Turning to Ranger she gives a command. “Come!”

  Ranger is up and out of his crate. Tail wagging, he leads her to the front door. She’s going to regret this, but Sebastian isn’t letting her go. The fire in his eyes, the determined set of his jaw, and the powerful bunching of his muscles tell her this. His mind is made up, and she doesn’t have the force of will to stand in his way. With a deep breath, she opens the door and heads into the unknown.

  19

  Bash

  Holly’s nervousness is a huge red flag, but Bash is determined to peel back her layers and discover all the mysteries this woman holds. She has secrets he intends to unlock. First and foremost, her fear. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize the girl has issues. She’s too afraid of simple things, like bringing a man up to her apartment. Granted, he’s used to women falling at his feet, literally, but he’s not a scary guy. There’s no reason for her to be this afraid.

  It’s not that she’s not interested. There’s fire burning in her veins, but something lurks in her past. With any other girl, all he would care about is getting her into his bed. That may be high on his list with Holly, but he’s willing to take his time to figure out what makes her tick.

  There’s always the possibility she isn’t interested in him, but that kiss! The echoes of the kiss surge in his veins, heat his blood, and keep him in a state of perpetual arousal. Then there is the pile of notes he found on her kitchen counter.

  Why would she break apart his music? It makes no sense, but he’s impressed. She has a unique understanding of drums. It’s phenomenal actually. When he first saw her at Grady’s, he thought she was an okay drummer, unpolished and typical of what he’d expect from a girl. She played only one part of the drum line from Insanity. He’d assumed it was because she couldn’t play the whole ensemble. It’s an honest conclusion, because the drum line is complex and difficult for even advanced players.

  He wonders if she can play the entire piece, and a sinking suspicion tells him this is true. Why did she split up the piece into multiple parts? It doesn’t make sense. What’s her angle? He’s intrigued, but concerned. Too many people have tried to play him over the years. If he didn’t know Holly, he would be suspicious she is trying to worm her way into the inner circle of the band. That’s not the case, however, because she’s making it clear she’s not interested in him.

  No sex?

  Did he really agree to no sex? He must be mad.

  Now that he can touch her again, his hands are on her and he takes advantage of every opportunity to feel her body. Placing his hand on the small of her back, he guides her to the elevator. Riding the car down, he reaches for her hand. He stands beside her, eliminating the space between them, brushing his arm against her shoulder. She’s a tiny thing beside him, perfect in every way. Her hair is wet and the springy curls cascade down her back. He can’t wait to run his fingers through her hair while his lips are locked with hers. There are other things he imagines, but he’ll settle for another kiss or two for tonight.

  Heading out the parking lot, he tugs her to his side, draping his arm over her shoulder as he scans the parking lot for threats. Opening her door, he helps her into the Jeep, providing support with his hand. She accepts each of his touches, growing less nervous as he draws her closer and closer. It’s too early to push for that kiss, and they’re miles away from what he really wants, but he’ll be patient and wait.

  “Where are we going?” She asks.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “Seriously?”

  “What? You don’t like surprises?”

  “I’m not sure if I should be worried or not.”

  “Well, the first part of our evening isn’t a surprise. I can smell myself and need a shower too. We’re going to my hotel room. This time you can wait on me, but I won’t force you to make silly promises about keeping your hands, lips, or anything else off me. In fact, if it’s something you just need to do…I’ll suffer through it.”

  Her laughter spills through the parking lot as he turns the key, warming his heart and bringing an answering smile to his face. The dogs settle in the back seat. Duke is sitting on his haunches, head already hanging out the side of the Jeep. Ranger lays down and tucks his snout between his paws.

  “Oh, really?” She questions. “You’ll suffer?”

  “Hey,
if I must…”

  She punches him playfully in the arm. “Well, we wouldn’t want that. How about I keep my hands to myself?”

  He backs out of the parking spot. “You’re killing me.”

  “You make it too easy.”

  “So she says now, but just wait.”

  “For?”

  “My revenge.”

  “I don’t even want to know what that means.”

  She’s probably right, because what’s going through his mind is wicked as sin. He said no sex, but that leaves the evening wide open for hundreds of ways to make her scream. He cocks his head, considering how far she’ll let him go.

  On the way to the hotel, she pesters him about his plans. He’s not budging. Secrets aren’t as fun if they’re given away. They pull up to the front of the hotel and he hands the keys to a bellhop. Holly clips a lead to Ranger’s collar and he does the same for Duke. She looks to him, uncertain what comes next.

  “Here, let me have that.” He takes Ranger’s lead. “These two are going to have an amazing night.”

  “Um, is he going to be okay?” She’s not looking convinced, but Bash worked everything out while waiting for her to shower and dress at her apartment.

  He turns to the bellhop. “Has he arrived yet?”

  “Yes, Sir. The kid’s waiting in the lobby.”

  “Awesome.” He hands over a sizable tip and gestures for Holly to go inside.

  Sitting on one of the lobby couches, Timothy’s knees bounce with nervous energy. He pops to his feet when he sees Bash enter with the dogs. Duke’s ears perk up and he tugs at the leash.

  “Looks like Duke missed you,” he says to Timothy.

  Timothy doesn’t say hello to Bash, going instead to the dog he raised and had to give up.

  “Duke! How you doing boy?” Timothy gathers Duke into a hug. Duke waggles his butt and dances with his meet and greet. Slobber is flying. Ranger sits, perfectly behaved while Timothy and Duke finish saying hello.

  “Is this the kid from the shelter?” Holly looks to Timothy.

  Bash gives a nod. “Timothy, this is Holly.”

  Timothy straightens and thrusts out his hand. “Nice to meet you.” They shake and Timothy kneels before Ranger and holds out his hand. “Hey boy.” Ranger sniffs, cautious at first, but then licks Timothy’s palm.