Live by the Sun, Love by the Moon

by J.T Jackson

  Ian Hanson floor 12 room D-23.

  I click the elevator for up. I'm going to the 12th floor I guess. Kinda high up. It seemed like it took forever for the elevator to stop, and when the doors open, my heart started pounding in my chest. I took a deep breath and walked down the hallway. D-12, D15, D20, then boom. D23. I almost knock, but then I ring the doorbell instead. It was the longest five-seconds of my life and then the door slowly opened. It was Ian. Thank goodness.

  “Hey! What are you doing here?”

  “I'm sorry to disturb you Mister Hanson, but I was returning your phone.” I didn't know who he was with or what he was doing so I just tried to keep it professional.

  “Why are you talking like that? No one is here. Come in.”

  “Oh.” I let out some relief. I walk in and it's very bright. All the light is coming from a giant window with no shades or curtains. Everything was either black or white. Black couches, white chairs. White carpet, black lamps. But that isn't what caught my attention. It was the art on the walls. Still no color. Either black or white but they were beautiful. Ian closed the door and walked in front of me.

  “You got something against color? I ask jokingly.

  He laughed "Haha, no not really. Welcome to my home.”

  “It's beautiful.”

  “Thanks.”

  I almost forgot why I came. I pulled the phone out of my pocket.

  “Oh, you left this.” I hand it to him.

  “I was looking for this.” Ian was wearing a white tank top and some old jeans. But he looked so hot. I couldn't help myself but to just watch him.

  “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “No thanks. I just wanted to drop that off.”

  “You don't have to leave.”

  “I'm sure you have other better things to do.”

  “Not really, I was just sketching.”

  Sketching? As in drawing? As in something I didn't know. Has he ever said anything about this before?

  “I didn't know you draw.” He looks at the pictures on the wall.

  “You did all of these?” He nods his head.

  “They're beautiful.”

  “Come, follow me.” He takes my hand and leads me to a room. It's darker than the front room and one lamp is on. There are papers and posters everywhere. Drawings mostly. Then some are painted.

  “This is my art room. I was in here before you came.”

  There were no chairs or couches in here. Just pillows on the floor. And a bookshelf filled with photo albums and books.

  “Can I see one?” I ask already having my hand on one to pull out.

  “Sure.” I pick one up. Random is written on the front of it. I flip through the pages. There were some of ponds and some of animals, some of people, trees, everything. Most of them seemed to be done in pencil, but they were so detailed. One was of an old couple on a park bench, and I could see the wrinkles on their eyes. One of a pond, I could see the reflection of a tree behind it.

  “These are amazing.” I say to Ian who is on the floor sketching on a pad. I put the book back and pick up another one. This one was different from the other ones on the shelf. They were all black leather bonded. But this one was bigger and was silver coated. I open to the first page. It's a girl. She's sad, cause I can see it in her eyes. Something about her face, it's like I know her. Like I know what she feeling and why she's sad.

  "Luna!” Ian calls my name standing up. Then I realize, that the sad girl, is me.

  Chapter Seventeen

  There's a date at the bottom of the page. 6/7/13. That was a year ago. I didn't even know Ian until three weeks ago.

  "Luna.” he steps closer to me. I flip to more pages. Another one of me, walking down a sidewalk. One of me drinking coffee. All dating back to a year ago.

  “Luna, I know what you're thinking.”

  “Do you really? What the hell is this Ian? Why were you drawing pictures of me before we even met?”

  “It's kinda hard to explain.”

  “Well, you better try, because right now, this is making you seem like some weird stalking creep.

  “I know, but please just...”

  “Just what? Why don't you tell me what this is?”

  “I can't right now.”

  “You can't or you won't?”

  “I won't... Because I can't.”

  “Wow, ok.” I open the door and walk out. He follows behind.

  “Wait, Lulu, don't leave.”

  “Then tell me!”

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “The truth. Tell me the truth.”

  “Fine. Look you're just gonna have to trust me and believe me. Ok. Promise?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Say it. Say you promise.”

  “I promise.”

  “I saw you once, when I was drawing. Over by a park by the coffee house. I thought you were beautiful so I sketched you. I saw you a few more times, in the same area, and I don't know, there was something about you that I had to capture. The way you moved, it was like you were always in a pose. The perfect pose. The way the sun would hit your face, and how one strand of your hair would fall across your cheek. I was in no way stocking you, it was by chance, I promise you. I mean clearly you were beautiful, but I wasn't following you or anything,. I just always happened to be at the right place at the right time. That's what happened when I saw you at the club. I wasn't sure at first if it was you, but when I saw you outside, I knew it. Luna, I know I sound crazy and like some weird guy, but it's not like that, I swear. This was all just by chance."

  "And the internship? That was all by chance too?”

  “Yes!”

  It was hard for me to swallow. The idea that he was drawing me for months and I didn't even know. That he didn't tell me. I didn't know rather to be upset or not. I believed him. I honestly deep down in my heart believed him. There was nothing in my body to believe otherwise.

  “Ok, I believe you. Why didn't you just tell me?”

  “I was just trying to find the right time. I didn't want you running away from me. I really care about you Luna.”

  My chest fills up with all kinds of emotions. I don't think anyone has ever said that to me. Maybe my mom, but she doesn't count. I've never had anyone that cared for me when they didn't have to.

  “Don't say that.” I say.

  “Why? It's true.” He snaps at me. His tone has changed.

  “No, no, it's not.”

  “Why are you always trying to get me to change the way I feel about you? Why won't you let me close to you?”

  “Cause, you don't need to be. I can't... Give you what you want.”

  “You don't know what I want. I've never asked you for anything Luna.”

  “I don't know if you can give me what I want?”

  “What do you want?”

  “I want someone who can walk down the street with me and hold my hand. I want someone to make me coffee every morning and lays next to me every night. Someone who doesn't have to leave and cover tracks for being with me. I want someone who's honest with me. Someone to talk to me. Someone that can... Love me.”

  “I want to give you all that."

  “I gotta go.” He reaches out and grabs my arm.

  “Why are you so afraid to admit that you feel something for me?”

  “Why are you so sure that I do?”

  He lets go. I see his face drop a little and he takes a step back. I know that what I just said probably hurt a little. It hurt me to say it. I don't even know why I said it. We just look at each other. I can't read him right now, his face is blank. I want to apologize, but I don't. I walk to the door and open it. I look back at him and he walks over. Still no words exchanged. He just kisses the top of my head, like he always does and holds the door. I go out and walk down the hall. Tears well in my eyes. Why am I always crying when I'm with this man. And what I said, was painful. The look in his eyes. Not angry, or pissed off. It wasn't even sadness. It was worst. Something I
've seen only in my mothers eyes. A weakness and love.

  Chapter Eighteen

  I pull up to this huge white and blue house. It looked like something out of an old movie. Flowers and rose bushes across the yard. I feel nervous walking to the door. But right now, I think I just need some Ian-free time. Clear my head and think about stuff. But not too much. I need a distraction. I rang the doorbell, and not even before it's done ringing, it opens.

  “Hey, you made it.” Andre says greeting me with a hug.

  “Yeah.”

  “How are you?”

  “I'm good. I bought cookies, I didn't know if I should bring anything.”

  "Oh, you didn't have to do that. Thanks," He takes the plates from me and we walk in the house and he takes me straight in the kitchen. A middle age woman is standing talking to someone who's cooking. The help I suppose.

  “Hey mom,” he calls out, she turns around.

  “This is Luna. The girl I told to about. She walks over to me and hugs me.

  “Nice to meet you dear. I don't know what you've done to my son, but he's been talking about you all day.” She smiles.

  “Mom!” Andre scolds.

  “What darling? A girl this beautiful must know the affects she has on men. Don't you dear?”

  She winks at me. I don't know how to answer. So I try changing the subject.

  “You have a beautiful home ma’am.”

  “And she's polite. Thank you dear. Dre, go introduce her to your sister and everyone in the back.”

  “She had a couple glasses of wine already. She's feeling it. Beth has been excited to meet you. She thought for a while that maybe I was gay.”

  I couldn't help but wonder to ask myself. He was a very pretty boy. Like he spent more time in a mirror than I did. I thought it would have been too far to ask though. When we reach outside, I hear people laughing and giggling. I see her first. Not a face easily forgotten, or a ring. Andre walks me over to the table. Everyone turns to look at us.

  “Hey, this is my friend Luna. Luna, this is my sister Beth and my father Frankie.” His dad reaches out his hand to me and holds it.

  “Nice to meet you sweetheart.” Frankie says. He's tall, like Andre. I could never imagine the world getting much smaller than it just did. Beth, or Liz… whatever just sat there before speaking.

  “Luna, sounds familiar. Have we met?” She asked happily.

  Yeah dumbass. I only met you last night. But before I could let any smart ass remark slip out of my mouth, I saw Ian walk around the corner. I freeze. Everything thing in my body froze. My heart stopped beating. My lungs stopped breathing. My mind stopped thinking. I could see it on his face too. It seemed like an eternity, but really only a few seconds. Then I see Ian put on his professional face.

  “Hello, Luna”

  “Mister Hanson.” I say with my voice shaking. I have a feeling there's gonna be a lot of that.

  “You know each other?” Andre ask. He looks at me but Ian answers.

  “Yes, we have had the pleasure of Miss Stone interning in the office for the last few weeks.”

  “Oh, right, that's why you were at the party. Why didn't you tell me you knew Ian?”

  Why didn't you tell me that your sister was his fiancé? We all have questions here.

  “I guess it never came up.” I shrug my shoulders.

  “Please sit.” Frankie ushers me to sit in a chair. I sit between Liz and Andre. Ian sits across from me on the other side of Beth.

  “We were just talking about the wedding.” Liz shouts out. She places her hand on Ian's. And smiles at him. She takes her left hand and slide it closer to me. I guess this would be more uncomfortable if I wasn't already kinda mad at Ian. It still wouldn't be easy though.

  “It's beautiful.”

  “I know right. It's not exactly the one I wanted but I like it I guess.”

  I look at Ian like, is she serious right now?

  “So dad, I was thinking backyard wedding. It's so beautiful back here. Plenty of space.”

  “Me and your mother were thinking about that.” He says.

  “Yes, I love it. Fairy tale themed. Princess and prince stuff . I've already hired a wedding planner. We meet with her tomorrow baby. I want it to feel like a fairy tale back here. Full of magic and love.”

  Wow, she probably pick the most cliche wedding theme ever. Fairy tale? Really? Well automatically, a diva would pick this theme. Call themselves a princess just so they can have an excuse to be a bitch. She just kept rambling on and on about the wedding. I don't see how they actually sat there and acted like they cared. It was more like she was giving an opening monologue and we were just the audience. Watching and listening to what she had to say. After ten minutes, I couldn't take anymore. I excused my self to use the bathroom. Of course, when I got inside, I got lost and one of the housekeepers had to help me find my way. A housekeeper. Really? Who's so busy they can't keep up on their own house? When I finally find the bathroom, I just stood in there. My face was red and hot. I could feel the blood pumping through it. I threw some cool water on my face and took a deep breath.

  Back outside. Andre's mom had join everyone else and was talking to Liz about wedding plans and Frankie, Ian and Andre were talking about cars. I sit closer to them to avoid the wedding conversation. Andre looks and smiles at me.

  "Ian, I'm telling you, the 1964 Mustang kicked the 67 Cameo’s ass." Andre shouts across the table.

  "I disagree with that."

  Ian says in his calm understanding lawyer voice. I watch his lips as they move into words. My stomach tightens and it feels like I'm on a roller coaster. I'm just lost for a moment, I don't even hear Andre calling my name. He touches my shoulder.

  "Luna, what do you think?"

  I'm put on the spot. What do I think? An easy question, so hard to answer.

  "Well, the mustang did create a roadway for the cars with the whole pony class thing, but something about a Camaro. I vote camaro." Andre's dad laughs.

  "Sorry." I mouth to Andre. He grabs my hand and says ok. I look at Ian and he's looking back at me with a smile.

  People come out and food is being placed on the tables.

  "Everything look amazing." Andre's mom says. I still don't know her name. Or their last name. I'd feel embarrassed asking out loud. So I lean over to Andre and whisper it too him.

  "Washington." He whispers back. I lean back to my chair and Ian is starring at me. His eyes cut into me like a 6 foot sword through the middle of my chest. I sip my water and try to break from his gaze.

  "So, Luna, right?" Mrs.Washington asked me.

  "Yes, ma’am."

  "So dear do you work or go to school?"

  "Yes, I go to the university here and I work at a coffee house." And a strip club. But maybe we’ll leave that for next time.

  "And the internship of course." Ian cuts in and says.

  "Oh right. At the law firm with Ian. How's that?" She grabs her glass of wine. But Frankie takes it from her and puts it back on the table.

  I look at Ian before answering. He has a grin sketched on his mouth.

  "Very interesting so far. I've learn a lot of new things there."

  "Do you and Ian work together a lot?"

  He's the only person I work with. All day everyday. And last night and this morning. But I feel for the sake of everyone at the table I should just lie a little.

  "Not really. I do a lot with the whole office. Running around and things like that."

  "Oh. It must be amazing to intern at such an amazing place. The people there are the best at what they do." Mrs.Washington picks up her glass again and takes a gulp.

  Mr. Washington tries to take the attention away from his wife and directs it to the food.

  "Well, lets not let all this good food go to waste. Dig in."

  Bowls of salad and trays of finger sandwiches are passes around the table. Glasses of ice tea and wine are being poured. For the most part. No one talked while eating, till everyone was alm
ost done. I didn't say anything.

  When Andre and I were both done, we left the table so he could show me the rest of the house. I could feel Ian's eyes burning into my skin until we made it in the house. We just walked around the huge house and he told me about how it was built, whose lived there and for how long. I just let him talk, since he seemed to like it. It appears his whole family likes to talk.

  "I think my family really likes you."

  "I like them. Your parents are really sweet."

  "Yeah, and sorry about my mom. She gets like that when she's been drinking too much."

  "It's fine."

  After the tour, we go and sit with everyone in the living room. They have out tea and coffee makers and sweets on what seemed like a bar.With sugars and creamers and flavoring. It was like a mini coffee shop bar. Ian and Liz are sitting on a big couch with Mr. and Mrs. Washington. I sit next to Andre on a smaller couch.