Autumn Secrets

by Katie Winters

  When the Katama guests disappeared down the hallway, Janine slipped through the doorway and lifted her chin to greet her mother. She held a box of donuts and placed them tenderly at the center of Nancy’s desk. Even still, she struggled to meet her eye. It had been two days since Carmella had broken the news of Nancy’s potential health problems, and Janine had required several conversations, many of them tear-filled or scream-filled. “Why didn’t you tell me? All we’ve done is repair our relationship over the past few months. All we’ve done is grow closer. And now, it’s like all that work has flown out the window.”

  Now, Janine spoke into the donut box. “I’m sorry about some of the stuff I said last night.”

  Nancy blew out the air from between her lips. She lifted a donut to her mouth, took a small bite, then placed the chocolate-glazed monster back in its place. “Like I told you before, there’s nothing we can do about it right now. The test results aren’t back.”

  “The waiting is just so awful.” Janine crossed and uncrossed her arms. Outside, the wind howled against the glass and whipped through the trees. “Did you see the news? They think a tropical storm might come through.” Her eyes twitched.

  “I saw.” Nancy leaned against the desk and considered the waves from Katama Bay as they burst against the far dock.

  “Are you used to big storms like this?”

  “We’ve had a few,” Nancy replied. “Neal and Elsa arranged for a safe house for everyone at the Katama Lodge. If it gets too bad...”

  “We’ll bring everyone up there?”

  “Yeah, and ourselves,” Nancy affirmed. “And there’s enough food up there to last us, just in case things get particularly dire.”

  “What do you mean? What could happen?”

  “If the electricity goes out, if we don’t have water for a few days...” Nancy shrugged, even as her heart sped up with a sudden jolt of worry.

  “Have you ever had to take the guests there?”

  “No. Never.” Nancy’s nostrils flared. She lifted the same chocolate-glazed donut and took three large bites in a row. Sugar rolled across her tongue, and her thoughts stirred wildly. “But it’s business as usual until we make the call, okay?”

  Janine’s squinted out at the angry ocean. “I’ll keep an eye on the weather.”

  “Thank you.” Nancy chewed somberly, then asked, “Are you feeling okay? After that tabloid magazine?”

  “That’s the thing about tabloid magazines, isn’t it? They’re big news for one day and one day only. I should have remembered that when we found the magazine. Already, the grocery store doesn’t have that issue in stock. Probably by next week, everyone will have forgotten my name again. And it helps not to be in the city. I have this whole life here. I have you. And I have Elsa and Carmella.”

  Nancy’s heart thudded. “Carmella. I haven’t seen her since—”

  “I know. Me neither,” Janine said. “Elsa said she’d rearranged a lot of her schedule to avoid seeing us. I think she feels guilty for revealing your secret like that.”

  Nancy’s first instinct was to say she should feel guilty. She promised me! She promised to keep my secret safe!

  But revenge and vitriol were elements of her old life. They had no use here— not in her world of compassion and empathy and forgiveness.

  “It’s always been such a mess between Carmella and I,” Nancy said softly.

  Janine nodded. “The longer I stay with all of you here, the more I get that sense. But Elsa and Carmella have both given me their versions of their life stories. They’re complicated, to say the least. You fell into an already poisonous environment. You can’t blame yourself for not being equipped to fix every element of it.”

  Heels clacked down the hallway to reveal Elsa, her cheeks porcelain and pale and her eyes enormous, like saucers. “Have you seen the news about this storm?”

  “We were just talking about it,” Janine told her.

  Elsa slipped her fingers through her hair. “It’s just been that kind of year, hasn’t it? One thing after another.” She stepped toward the window and watched the waterline. “Bruce hasn’t stopped calling since yesterday.”

  “And have you answered?” Nancy asked.

  Elsa shrugged like a teenager. “I have. I just don’t know. I ask myself if I want to get my heart broken all over again, you know?”

  “But Elsa, Aiden didn’t break your heart. Not on purpose,” Nancy said softly. She placed her hand over Elsa’s shoulder and added, “He loved you with everything he had. And maybe Bruce could do that, too.”

  Elsa crossed her arms tightly over her chest. She looked closed-off, like a frightened animal which a pack of wolves had cornered. “Maybe it’s all too soon. I don’t know.”

  Again, a strong gust of wind rushed against the windows and whipped across the trees. Nancy shivered.

  “It’s not going to be pretty,” Elsa said as she nodded toward the brewing weather. “I have a feeling we’ll have a whole lot of chaos on our hands. So I think I’ll tell the staff to start battening down the hatches.”

  Elsa turned and walked back toward the hallway. Just before she disappeared, Nancy asked, “Have you seen Carmella at all today?”

  Elsa shook her head. She turned and made heavy eye contact with Nancy, then added, “She probably just needs time. The way she feels guilt is enormous. She’s frozen with it. But if you coax her out, bit-by-bit—”

  Nancy nodded. “It’s always like starting from scratch with her.”

  “No. Not anymore,” Elsa said. “She’s timid and frightened, but she’s also attacking the problem head-on with therapy.” She again glanced toward the window, where a bird whipped past, struggling against the winds. “Once we get through this tropical storm, we’ll have another girls’ night— just the Remington-Grimson girls. And whatever happens with those tests, we’ll attack that head-on, too. We’re stronger together.”

  Elsa then disappeared into the shadows of the hallway. Nancy collapsed into the chair alongside her desk and dropped her chin to her chest.

  “I have to get going,” Janine told her. “I have a client at eight and another at nine.” She paused, dropped her teeth over her lower lip, then added, “Are you going to be okay? Do you need anything?”

  Nancy wanted to point out that these sorts of questions were the very things she’d wanted to avoid; she hadn’t wanted pity. On the contrary, she had wanted to wade through these potential horrors until the very last minute to pretend everything was all right.

  “I’ll be fine,” she told Janine, her words pointed. “Good luck today.”

  Janine nodded. “You too.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  By four in the afternoon, the weather channel illustrated a far different picture of the approaching storm. The consensus was that it was on its way full force, and it had the potential to be dangerous. Elsa sent a text alert to all of the women at the Katama Lodge, which demanded their presence in the large dining hall, where they would receive instructions about the hours ahead. Nancy hovered toward the back of the dining area and watched as, one after the other, women in their late twenties to late fifties entered the dining hall, many in athletic wear with their eyes enormous as they whispered about the potential threat of the storm.

  “Do you think the Lodge is high enough? Is there a potential for flooding?” This came from a woman in her mid-forties, a woman incredibly prone to anxiety, who had stayed at the Lodge far beyond what Janine had recommended, as she feared returning home and slipping back into her anxious waves of depression. She simply couldn’t get it into her head that she had to, one day, return home. The Lodge had become her refuge, and she had enough money to keep that going. Nancy had heard she was an heiress.

  “It’s difficult to say how the storm will affect us,” Nancy told her. “It depends on several factors. But, luckily, we have a place to take all of you. We’ll outline the procedure shortly, but for now, if you could please sit down?”

  The heiress certainly didn’t
look made of money, not then. She teetered slightly onto her toes as her lower lip bubbled around. Nancy wanted to tell this girl to pull herself together, but she wanted to scream the words to herself, as well. Everything seemed just as tumultuous as the weather outside, with no clear end in sight.

  Elsa appeared in the doorway. All the blood had drained from her cheeks, and she seemed unwilling to return. Just after her, Bruce Holland appeared. His shoulders were broad and powerful, his face stern. Elsa whipped around and lifted her chin toward him as her eyes swam with tears. Nancy could just barely make out what she said then.

  “I have to take care of these people.”

  “But who will take care of you?” Bruce returned. His hand splayed over her cheek. “You’re so goddamn proud all the time. You don’t have to be, you know.”

  Elsa’s chin quivered. Bruce hadn’t allowed the rift between them to continue. Instead, he’d taken everything into his own hands and forced Elsa to see the truth: that he was falling in love with her. He didn’t want to hurt her. It was pure, and it was messy, and maybe that’s all that the world could offer any of them just then.

  As if on cue, rain-splattered itself across the tall windows, which wrapped out from the grand dining hall and offered a sterling view of the Katama Bay, which now seemed so volatile and violent in the fresh hours of the storm.

  Bruce lowered his lips over Elsa’s, and they kissed tenderly, their eyes closed, as more and more guests from the Katama Lodge entered the dining room to await instructions. Nancy turned her eyes from Elsa and Bruce and found Janine beside her, her brow furrowed as she typed furiously on her phone.

  “I just want to make sure Henry knows he can come to our safe house,” she explained. “I’m worried about him.”

  “Of course. Do you have the address?”

  Janine nodded. “Mallory gave it to me. He said he wanted to get some footage of the storm for his documentary, which is crazy. I told him that being an artist doesn’t mean risking your life. And he then gave me a whole list of artists who have risked their lives in the name of art. I told him the difference is that I, Janine Grimson, wasn’t dating any of those people. He hasn’t texted back since.”

  “Ugh. I’m so sorry.” Nancy’s heart rattled with worry. “I’ve sent Carmella several messages as well, but none of them have gone through. I’m worried we won’t have cell service soon.”

  Janine pressed her lips into a fine line. “She hasn’t responded to my messages, either.”

  “This is ridiculous.” Nancy yanked her phone from her pocket and dialed Carmella’s number. It didn’t even ring; it went straight to voicemail. Of course, in this day and age, Nancy knew better than to leave a voicemail. “Shoot.”

  Elsa hustled to the front of the dining hall. She spread her hands out in front of her like a preacher and asked for the women to quiet down. Slowly, the gossip and murmurs halted. They turned their eyes toward Elsa like frightened kindergarteners.

  “Good afternoon, everyone. As you can see, we have something of a storm on our hands.” Elsa clasped her fingers together too tightly; her anxiety swelled off of her in waves. “We have several buses on their way to the Katama Lodge. They will drive all of us over to the safe house, which is located far from the waterline. My father had it built for this very reason.”

  Several of the women exchanged worried looks. Some gasped outrageously as though they thought they were being recorded. Finally, one woman raised a frail hand to ask if they could collect their valuables from their suites and cabins prior to departure. Elsa said yes as long as they hurried back.

  “The storm is about to get much stronger, and we need to get over to the safe house as soon as we can,” Elsa informed them.

  As the women hustled back to their rooms, three Lodge staff members gathered to mount storm-protecting walls over the large window of the dining area. As the walls were mounted, Nancy’s sinister feeling of being trapped in, enclosed, grew bigger, more ominous. The air seemed strange in the large space, without a view of the external world.

  Elsa remained poised near the front of the dining hall. Bruce stood alongside her and whispered something to her, something that made her nod. Nancy hustled up to both of them and said, “I’m getting really worried about Carmella.”

  Elsa seemed like a frantic bird. “I don’t know where she is.”

  “I tried to call her.”

  Elsa’s tears rolled down her cheeks then. “This is the single most selfish thing she’s ever done. She must know we’re out of our minds with worry!”

  “I don’t think we should play the blame game just yet,” Nancy told her. “We don’t know the whole story.”

  “The only story right now is that a tropical storm is on its way, the island is in danger, and everyone needs to take cover,” Elsa said pointedly.

  Nancy tried again to dial Carmella, and again, the call went straight to voicemail. She hustled out into the parking lot, where three buses had lined themselves in expectation. Several Lodge guests had jumped onto the buses and now huddled near the windows, watching as the rain flashed across the glass. Nancy’s hair dribbled down her shoulders.

  Bruce appeared in a large raincoat. His eyes were frantic as he searched for Elsa. Elsa bounded down from one of the buses and flung her arms around him. “Are you sure you can’t come with us?”

  “I have to go get my family,” he told her. “But I’ll bring them to the safe house immediately afterward. I’ll meet you there, I promise you.”

  Bruce kissed her and then hustled toward the far end of the parking lot, where he revved his engine and made his way out through the dark and sloshy roads. It was difficult to imagine, but Nancy had seen it before— miles and miles of Martha’s Vineyard roads, covered only with water off the Nantucket Sound.

  Janine appeared wearing a backpack and a large raincoat, with a hood wrapped over her forehead, allowing only her eyes to peer out. She gripped her mother’s shoulder and said, “Let’s get on the bus, okay? The Lodge is protected, and our guests are all on board. Time for us to hunker down.”

  But Nancy blared, “No!” far louder than she’d expected to. Janine’s eyes widened, but Nancy soon explained. “We have to find Carmella. She isn’t the kind of person to know what to do in these kinds of situations. She won’t protect herself to the fullest because she doesn’t feel she deserves protecting.”

  Janine’s eyes hardened with understanding.

  “You and Elsa should go with our guests,” Nancy affirmed as she set her jaw. “But I’m going to drive over to Carmella’s apartment and investigate.”

  “Her apartment is close to the waterline,” Janine said hesitantly.

  “I know.” Nancy’s heart pounded with worry. “But Janine, I can’t go to the safe house knowing one of my girls is still out there. I owe it to Neal to keep his baby safe.”

  “But you owe it to me to keep yourself safe,” Janine whispered. Then, hurriedly, she added, “I know that’s selfish, but it’s true.”

  Janine’s eyes filled with tears. “Go. Get on the bus. Please.”

  Elsa appeared alongside Janine. Her hair had flattened over her neck and her forehead. “Get on the bus,” she echoed. “Both of you. I heard a rumor the storm will soon transition to a hurricane.”

  “Oh God.” Janine’s face scrunched tighter. “Mom, seriously? You can’t risk this.”

  “Risk what?” Elsa howled against the wind.

  “I have to find Carmella!” Nancy called. She reached into her pocket to check that her keys remained. “If all goes according to plan, we’ll be back on the road in no time.”

  Elsa’s eyes darkened. “That’s so dangerous, Nancy. So, so dangerous.”

  Nancy wanted to tell her just how little she currently cared about that. But, she felt on the brink of death anyway; she could risk the little time she had left.

  “I just can’t let her go,” Nancy whispered. “It’s my fault she’s out there on her own. She should be here with us.”

 
; Elsa and Janine exchanged glances. It seemed that a whole conversation hummed between their eyes.

  “Get on the bus,” Nancy insisted again. “Let’s get going. We can’t just stand out here until the hurricane whisks us away.”

  “We’re going with you,” Elsa blurted then.

  “It’s final,” Janine affirmed.

  “Girls. Seriously. No.” Nancy shook her head so violently that her hair slapped her cheeks.

  “Nancy. Don’t be stupid. We’re in this together,” Elsa blared. She then jumped toward the front bus, where she spoke to one of the bus drivers and pointed toward the exit. In a moment, one by one, the buses eased out toward the road and then snaked up toward the inner belly of the island, where the Katama Lodge guests would be spared from the severity of the storm.

  This just left Nancy, Elsa, and Janine in the parking lot, in the shadow of the huge Lodge— all at a loss and stirring in total fear. Nancy then gripped her car keys and flung them out of her pocket. “Let’s go. Are you with me?”

  They rushed toward Nancy’s BMW— a gift from Neal a few years ago and nothing she felt she deserved. Nancy turned the keys in the ignition as Janine gathered herself in the passenger seat, and Elsa latched her seatbelt in the back. The radio announcer seemed to have a lot to say, and none of it was good news.

  “We’ve now fully transitioned from tropical storm to hurricane,” he announced. “Batten down the hatches, islanders. Get to a safe place. Remember that just because we live in paradise doesn’t mean that nature won’t take its toll on all of us. Also, think of your neighbors and friends, anyone who might not have a place to go right now. Reach out to them. Call them if you can. Remember that often, the cell service goes out for hours or even days at a time.”

  “I wish she would answer her stupid phone!” Elsa cried from the back, having tried Carmella again.

  “It’s off,” Nancy shot out. “Or maybe she lost it?”

  “I don’t know. Now that the guests are safe, my brain is bleeding with worry for my silly sister,” Elsa continued.