Compass

by Deborah Bladon

  His lips brush mine. “I should have been with you. I could have taken care of you after. You were all alone?”

  I nod.

  “I can’t fucking believe you went through this by yourself.” He holds me against his chest. “You needed me. I should have never left your side.”

  Chapter 52

  Gage

  Katie has been fast asleep since I tucked her into her bed.

  Seven or eight hours have passed since I brought her home from the boutique after telling Natalie that she needed to cover for Katie today.

  I’ve been next to the woman I love, watching her sleep while I think about the hell she went through.

  I can’t be angry that she didn’t tell me she was pregnant with my child. All I feel is compassion.

  I left her. I didn’t tell her why so when she found out she was expecting a baby, her emotions must have been twisted into such a tangled knot that she couldn’t unwind them.

  She was expecting my child.

  I shake the thought away with a heavy exhale.

  “Gage,” she whispers, her eyes still closed. “Are you here?”

  I lean forward on my forearm so I can press a kiss to her mouth. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Her hand snakes behind my head to twist in my hair. She kisses me. This time it’s soft with parted lips. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

  “Open your eyes,” I whisper against her mouth.

  “I’m scared to.”

  I manage a small laugh. “Tell me every secret that’s inside of you. I want to know them all.”

  “I only have one more,” she says, her eyes still shut tight.

  “Open your eyes and tell me.”

  Her eyelids flutter, revealing those two beautiful hazel eyes.

  “The secret, Katie. I want to know.”

  I pray to God it’s not as earth shattering as the one she told me this morning. I’m still processing that. It’s going to take days, if not weeks, for me to wrap my mind around the fact that she was pregnant.

  Her hand slides to my cheek. “I love you.”

  I’ve waited five years for that priceless gift. “I love you too.”

  “You’ll tell me about Kristin.” Her eyes search mine. “Tell me everything.”

  “You need to sleep more.” I run my hand over her forehead. “Sleep. I’ll make us dinner and then we’ll talk.”

  “Just another five minutes,” she says, snuggling into my neck.

  I’ll take it.

  I’m due back in California the day after tomorrow to sign the new custody agreement. I won’t leave Katie, but I can’t miss my chance to have unrestricted access to my daughter.

  In a perfect world, I’d see my daughter every day while I built a future with the woman I love.

  I don’t live in a perfect world.

  I live in a complicated world full of challenges. I’ll make it all work. I have to.

  ***

  “I haven’t slept this much in years.” Katie looks up at me.

  I’m back in bed.

  I spent most of my afternoon on the phone talking to my daughter, her mother and my attorney.

  Kristin wanted to know when she’d be able to visit me in New York.

  Madison shut that down quickly, saying that she needed to find a job before they could plan another trip.

  They’re still living under my parents’ roof.

  I suspect that will stay the same until Madison can set herself up in a small place.

  “How long have you been awake?”

  I planned on being here when she opened her eyes, but I was in the kitchen prepping a salad while I semi-argued with Madison about the future.

  I kept the tone of my voice down not just so I wouldn’t wake Katie, but I didn’t want to get Madison fueled up.

  Kristin’s been through enough. She doesn’t need the added stress of listening to us debate what’s best for her future.

  “Not long,” she answers with a smile.

  “You’ve been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders for years.” I brush my lips over her forehead. “I wish I had known what you went through.”

  Her hand leaps to my face to cradle my cheek.

  “I’ll do everything in my power to take care of you now,” I go on, “I love you, Katie.”

  “I love you,” she whispers back. “I’m so happy that you’re here.”

  I move so I’m closer to her. I know she can feel the brush of my hard cock against her hip.

  “You’re happy that you’re here too,” she sighs. “I’ve missed you.”

  I’m about to show her just how badly I’ve missed her.

  Chapter 53

  Kate

  Gage’s fingers slide over my hip before they dive between my legs.

  He groans when he feels how wet I am.

  “Jesus, Katie,” he growls out between clenched teeth. “I could blow my load just from touching you.”

  “I want more,” I say shamelessly kicking back the covers that are shielding my body from his view.

  “More,” he repeats back, gliding down my body. He peppers kisses over my skin.

  First, it’s my breasts.

  He stops to take my left nipple between his teeth. When he bites, I purr.

  “You like that?”

  He knows I do.

  His attention and talented tongue shifts to my right breast. He sucks the nipple between his lips.

  I arch my back from the bed when he captures my left nipple between his fingers.

  He pinches it, just as he bites my other nipple.

  I scream out.

  “I can’t wait to taste you.” He licks my nipple softly, lashing his tongue against it. “You’re going to be so wet.”

  His mouth moves to my stomach. He takes his time kissing the skin and biting it.

  By the time he reaches the top of my mound, I’m squirming and whimpering.

  “You’ll come as soon as I touch your pretty little clit.” He pushes my legs apart, revealing my bare pussy.

  “Please, Gage,” I whine. “Please.”

  His head drops, but it’s not to my core. He sets his attention on my inner thighs.

  Painfully slow kisses dot my skin as he nears the top of my right thigh.

  “I can see how wet you are.” He blows on my pussy. “You’re going to come over and over again.”

  I reach down to cup my hand over the back of his head, urging him closer.

  His tongue moves in one long stroke over my core.

  I scream out in pained pleasure. The ache for release is too much. “Lick me.”

  “Lick you?” he repeats back with a note of amusement laced into his tone. “You’re so fucking polite. Tell me what you really want.”

  I look down into his stormy green eyes.

  “Eat my pussy. Make me come.”

  He lowers his head and sends me almost instantly into a mind-numbing climax.

  ***

  “I doubt like hell that I can walk.” Gage’s laughter fills the room. “You’ve fucked the life right out of me.”

  “I was returning the favor.” I cup my hand over my mound. “My pussy is aching more now than before you fucked me.”

  He turns to look at me. “I like when you talk dirty.”

  I kiss him softly on the mouth. “I love when you do.”

  “In that case…” He turns on his side to face me. “I love fucking you. I love how tight your pussy is. I love that you get so wet that I can taste you on my lips for hours after.”

  “You’re going to make me want you again.” I sigh.

  “I want you to feel that forever.”

  “I will.”

  “Let’s get you up.” He rolls onto his back. “I made a salad earlier. You should eat some of that and then let me wash you in the shower.”

  I swing my legs over the side of the bed. Spotting my blue silk robe on the floor, I reach for it. “Do you remember when you used to wash me in the
shower?”

  Silence fills the room.

  “You’d pretend that you wanted to soap me up, but it was a ploy to feel me up.”

  There’s still no response. Glancing over my shoulder, I see him standing with his phone in his hands.

  “Is everything all right, Gage?”

  His head pops us. “Everything is perfect. I’m with the woman I love.”

  “I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” I move to stand. “Take your time.”

  I tie the sash on the robe and walk out of the room, knowing that everything is far from all right.

  Chapter 54

  Gage

  “It’s not my birthday.” Gus looks down into the brown paper shopping bag that contains a new raincoat, four pairs of socks, a pair of new shoes and a sun hat.

  “It will be one day this year,” I quip. “Call it a friend doing another friend a favor.”

  “I’ll call it what it is.” He places the bag on the bench. “You’re a saint.”

  “Far from it.” I laugh.

  I don’t know what the hell I am.

  Selfish fits the bill.

  I left Katie last night so I could stop in at Tin Anchor. I bought the bar months ago as a way to build something for my daughter.

  The plan has never been to get her behind the bar serving drinks once she’s old enough.

  I wanted to double or triple my investment in the place so I could leave her something when I’m gone.

  I named it after her.

  The first time I called her Tin, her face lit up, so it stuck.

  She’s been my anchor in the storms of my life these past five years. She kept me grounded when all I wanted to do was bolt.

  I don’t want to give up the bar, but I might have to in order to fund bi-monthly cross-country trips to see Kristin.

  “Trouble has found its way back to you.” Gus pats my shoulder. “What’s weighing you down?”

  I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans.

  I didn’t feel up to working out this morning, so I put on the jeans and a Tin Anchor shirt. I needed kindness more than exercise. I knew Gus could provide it.

  The urge to swing by Katie’s place to see her first was strong, but she told me in an early morning text message that she’s meeting Tilly and Olivia for breakfast.

  I scrub a hand over the back of my neck. “Kristin and her mom are setting up shop in California. Katie is here.”

  Gus pushes the paper bag to the side before he lowers himself to the bench. “What’s Katie’s take on this?”

  I’ve been hesitant to throw this at her.

  I turned her life inside out once.

  How the fuck can I ask her to do it again?

  “Don’t tell me you haven’t discussed it with her.” Gus waves a finger at me.

  “I can’t expect her to sacrifice everything for me, Gus.”

  “You think it’s a sacrifice. Katie may see it differently.”

  “I can do both coasts. I spend weekdays here, and a few times a month fly back there.”

  “That sounds like a hell of a bad idea to me.”

  “Why?” I ask with a cock of my brow. “It can work.”

  “Until Kristin takes ill and you’re clear across the country.” He jabs a finger into my side. “Or you burn out because you’re running yourself ragged trying to live two lives at once.”

  I turn to look at him. “If I ask Katie to move back to California with me, she’ll be giving up her business and her friends. She’s made a good life for herself here.”

  “If you don’t ask her to move to California with you, you’ll be taking away her choice.” He glances at the river. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for her, Gage. She does.”

  He’s right. I made a choice for Katie years ago that changed both of our lives forever. I can’t do it again.

  ***

  Hours later, I watch Katie through the window of her bridal store.

  She’s wearing a light green dress. Her hair is braided to the side. She’s breathtaking, as she always is.

  A smile lights up her face. Pure joy emanates from her when she’s around a bride-to-be. I can’t imagine the inner strength it took for her to get through the days after I called off our engagement.

  On top of that, she had to face losing our baby on her own.

  She pushed through. She prospered. She came out of it with grace and humility.

  She’s the woman that I want my daughter to look up to.

  Madison is a good mom, but I want Katie’s influence in Kristin’s life.

  I’ll only get that if I tell Katie what’s going on. I have to let her in. I have to give her a voice in this because it’s the right thing to do.

  My phone chimes in my pocket.

  I tug it out and glance at the screen.

  It’s a text message from Madison.

  I read it twice, not believing for a damn minute that it’s real.

  Madison: Cancel ur flight to L.A. Ur not coming here.

  I turn my back to the windows of Katie Rose Bridal so the woman I love doesn’t see the rage on my face.

  With fury racing through me, I dial Madison’s number.

  “Hello, Gage,” she says in that smug tone I can’t fucking stand.

  “What the hell? We had an agreement. I am coming to see my daughter.”

  “Calm the fuck down.” She laughs. “You’re not coming here because we’re coming there tomorrow.”

  “You’re coming here?” I turn back to face the windows of Katie’s shop.

  I spot her looking at me. A beautiful smile graces her face.

  Calmness blankets me when she raises her hand to wave.

  I do the same back.

  “Don’t read too much into this,” Madison stops to take a deep breath. “I got a call from a company in New York today. It’s a huge company, Gage. I have an interview for a District Operations Manager position.”

  “In Manhattan?” I ask to be crystal clear.

  “In Manhattan,” she repeats back. “I’m qualified for it. It’s right up my alley and it would make things easier for Kristin.”

  I respect her for wanting to put our daughter’s needs first.

  “It’s closer to Perry too, so fingers crossed.”

  “I’ll arrange a hotel for you and Kristin,” I offer because I want my daughter to be comfortable.

  “I already booked a room for myself.” She clears her throat. “Kristin can stay with you if you want.”

  If I want?

  “What the fuck do you think?” I chuckle. “Let me know your flight details. I’ll meet you at the airport.”

  “I hope I get the job,” she says quietly. “I never considered Manhattan as a place to live full-time, but maybe this is meant to be.”

  “You didn’t say a word about applying for a job here.” I stare at Katie, wanting nothing more than to go into the store and sweep her into my arms.

  “I didn’t apply for it.” Madison laughs. “The woman who called me said she heard from a friend of a friend that I was looking for a job and wondered if I’d be interested in relocating to New York City. I’ve told everyone I know out here that I’m searching so I guess someone put in a good word.”

  Fate doesn’t have a hand in this.

  It’s too big of a coincidence.

  “What’s the name of the company?”

  “Liore Lingerie. The woman I’m meeting is named Olivia Donato.”

  Chapter 55

  Kate

  “I need to talk to you,” I say to Gage as he marches toward me.

  He’s been outside my store for the last ten minutes. He spent most of that time on the phone.

  I couldn’t hear anything he was saying, but I know what it’s about.

  Yesterday, when he thought I was asleep in my bed, I was listening to him.

  He was telling Kristin that he loved her and hoped that one day he could show her Times Square and the Empire State Building.

  She must have
handed the phone back to Madison because his tone changed before he said that he wanted them in Manhattan.

  Once that call ended, he spoke to his attorney for more than thirty minutes.

  Half-way through that discussion, I knew what I needed to do.

  It’s what I want to do.

  I’ve already set the wheels in motion so I can move back to California and build a life with Gage.

  I had breakfast this morning with my two best friends so I could break the news to them.

  They cried. I wept, but we promised each other that we’d do video chats every day and I’d fly back to Manhattan as often as I can to see them.

  Olivia had a million questions about Kristin and her mom.

  Tilly was silent, lamenting the fact that I won’t be around to drink martinis with her and share sandwiches at lunch.

  I’ll miss them.

  They’re like sisters to me, but Gage is my love.

  Kristin is his daughter. He needs to be with her and I need to be where he is.

  “I need to talk to you,” he says once he’s in front of me. “I fucking love you. Do you know how much I love you?”

  I can’t answer because I’m swept into his strong arms. He spins us in a circle before he lowers me and takes me into his arms for a deep, sensual kiss.

  I hear a smattering of applause from the customers in the showroom.

  “Gage,” I say his name on a sigh. “I have to say something.”

  “Let me be your husband.”

  “Oh my God,” Natalie screams from the right. “Is this a proposal?”

  Gage huffs out a laugh. “That’s coming, but this is a promise that I’m going to honor and cherish this woman until I die.”

  “I love you,” I say, my head spinning. I can’t tell if it’s from him picking me up or his words. “We need to talk about California.”

  “We need to thank Olivia,” he answers back.

  “Olivia?” I feel like we’re having two different conversations. “What does Olivia have to do with anything?”