My Favorite Souvenir

by Ward, Penelope

  I tossed around the things he’d mentioned, and while they all sounded like fun, there was really only one thing I wanted to do tonight. I looked up at Milo.

  “Would it be okay if we just stayed in? Maybe order room service and watch a movie or something?”

  He smiled. “Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

  A little while later, Milo emerged from the bathroom wearing one of the plush hotel bathrobes and slippers. I cracked up when I saw him.

  “Are you making fun of me?” I said.

  He rubbed the arm of his robe. “Fuck no. This thing is like being wrapped in a cloud. I put on some of the fancy moisturizer you left on the counter, too. Why should women be the only ones with soft skin?”

  I’d been checking out the hotel menu and held it up for him. “I’m going to get the deluxe burger with onions and avocado and a side of truffle fries.”

  Milo took the menu, but set it down on the table. “That sounds good. I’ll get the same.”

  While he ordered, I poured us two glasses of champagne. Handing one to him when he hung up, I sat on the couch and tucked my feet under my butt. “So what are you going to do when I leave tomorrow? Will you head to your friend’s house?”

  He shook his head. “I think I need a few days before I go to New York. The buddy I’m going to see just got dumped. If I show up feeling the way I think I’m going to feel tomorrow when you get on that plane, I’m pretty sure the two of us will do nothing but get drunk and wallow. I’m probably going to hang here in Atlanta for a few days. I’ve never been, and it’ll give me some time to clear my head.”

  “Okay. That sounds nice.”

  “So what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?” he asked.

  “Well, I’ll probably dump my bags in the house and run next door to my neighbor’s, Mrs. Green. She has Abbott.”

  “Abbott? You have a dog?”

  I sipped my wine. “Nope.”

  “Cat?”

  I grinned. “Nope.”

  “A kid you forgot to mention?”

  I laughed. “Definitely not. Abbott is my pet rabbit.”

  Milo’s eyebrows jumped. “You have a rabbit named Abbott.”

  I laughed. “Yup. Abbott the rabbit. A blue Angora.”

  “He’s blue?”

  “Well, he’s not anything. Abbott is a girl. And she’s more like a gray, but the color is called blue.”

  Milo looked amused. “Does your blue bunny with a boy’s name know he’s a gray girl, or is he just as confused as me?”

  I smacked his abs. “She’s the cutest thing. Abbott has big floppy ears, and she’s really fat and round. Sometimes when she’s curled up in a ball and someone comes over, they get scared when she moves because she looks more like a stuffed animal. Did you ever watch old Star Trek reruns? She sort of looks like a tribble when she sleeps. Oh, and I walk her on a leash.”

  “You walk a rabbit on a leash?”

  “Yeah. She thinks she’s a dog.”

  Milo shook his head. “Well, I can’t wait to meet her.”

  I got excited at that thought, but then his smile fell.

  “If I get to meet her, I mean.”

  Again, it felt like the bottom dropped out of my belly. But I forced myself to ignore it so our last night didn’t turn depressing. “Do you have any pets?”

  He nodded. “I have a cat. Had a black lab growing up, but I’ve never had a dog on my own. Someday, though.”

  In many ways I felt like I knew Milo so well, yet I realized we didn’t know some very basic things about each other—like if we had pets. For some inexplicable reason, that bothered me. I didn’t want to leave and look back and start to second guess whether I’d ever known Milo at all. Suddenly I wanted to ask him a zillion questions.

  “Did you go to public school or private growing up?” I began.

  “Public. You?”

  “Same.”

  “What was the name of your first crush?”

  Milo chuckled. “Julia. You do know your questions are jumping all over the place, right?”

  “I know. I just—there are so many things I want to know about you before…”

  Our eyes caught and our faces fell once again.

  Milo drank his champagne. “Before we never see each other again?”

  “No, that’s not what I meant at all. It’s just that I feel like I know you in a very deep way, yet I don’t know some surface things. I want to know everything I can.”

  Milo lifted one leg up onto the couch and spread his arm over the back of it. “Alright. Shoot. What other questions do you have?”

  “Let’s start from the beginning. How old were you when you met Julia, your first girlfriend?”

  “I was nine. She was fifteen.”

  My eyes bulged. “Your first girlfriend was six years older than you?”

  “No. You asked my first crush. Her name was Julia, and she was my babysitter.”

  “Oh.” I chuckled. “How old was your first girlfriend then?”

  He thought about it. “Sixth grade. Lisa Carlisle. She was a redhead. Totally forgot about that. Guess I knew what I liked early.” He winked. “What about you?”

  “Eighth grade. Eddie Paxton. He was a year older.”

  “How long did it last?”

  “A few months. He was my first kiss. His breath was horrible, so I dumped him.”

  Milo lifted his hand to his mouth, blew out a few short breaths, and sniffed. He smiled. “All good. Still minty fresh from when I brushed.”

  I tilted my head. “Does that mean you’re planning on kissing me?”

  I’d said it kidding around, but the moment suddenly got serious. Milo looked into my eyes. “There’s absolutely nothing I’d like to do more. But I know that once I tasted you, I’d never be able to stop at a kiss, Maddie.”

  Oh my.

  He was essentially blowing me off, but my body got all tingly. It made my mind wander to dirtier questions.

  “Do you have a favorite position?”

  Milo’s eyes darkened. “You sure you want to go there?”

  I swallowed and nodded.

  “Alright. I usually like to be in control—against the wall or doggy style. But something tells me with you, my favorite position would be you riding me so I could watch your face every minute I’m inside of you.”

  My mouth hung open. I imagined Milo sitting on the couch exactly where he was at this very moment, and me straddling him. Lord, I wanted that in the worst way.

  I vaguely heard a knock in the distance, though I didn’t register what it was.

  Milo leaned forward and whispered in my ear. “Better shut that mouth. Because you’re reminding me of another favorite position I’ve imagined you in a time or two during my showers.” He grazed my bottom lip with his thumb. “I think my second favorite position might be you on your knees in front of me—that gorgeous red hair wrapped tight around my hand and those big blue eyes looking up at me while I fill this beautiful mouth.”

  He stood and chuckled. “Sorry you asked now?”

  I swallowed and shook my head.

  “At least we’re saved by room service,” he said. “I’ll get the door.”

  • • •

  For the rest of the night, we steered away from the road we had started down before dinner. Without discussing it, we both seemed to know it was for the best. However, I was certain the vision of me riding him would be seared into my brain for a long time. We talked for hours, and around midnight, after I’d yawned and caused Milo to yawn, we decided to watch a movie.

  He laid on his back on top of the covers with one hand behind his head. Crawling up next to him, I rested my head on his chest. “Is this okay?”

  He ran his fingers through my hair. “Yeah. It’s perfect.”

  I thought I would have trouble falling asleep while lying so close to him on the bed. But listening to the sound of Milo’s heartbeat as he softly stroked my head was better than a rocking chair and lullaby.
>
  • • •

  Morning came too soon. My flight was at nine, which meant I needed to be at the airport by seven, and on the road by six thirty. When the alarm on my phone went off at five thirty, Milo rustled in the bed, but didn’t wake up. So I shut the bedroom doors and let him sleep while I got ready. He’d offered to drive me, but there was really no reason for him to run out so early in the morning. Calling an Uber was just as easy.

  I packed the last of my things into my suitcase and looked around for anything I forgot. Taking a deep breath, I checked the time on my phone and called up the Uber app. Thirty seconds after punching in the airport as my destination, a message popped up that a driver had been located and would arrive in six minutes.

  Six minutes.

  I broke out in a cold sweat as I opened the door to the bedroom. Milo looked so peaceful sleeping that I was tempted to leave a note and not even wake him. But I knew how I would feel if he did that to me—robbed of the opportunity to say goodbye. So I walked to his side of the bed and gently shook him.

  “Milo,” I whispered. “I have to go.”

  His eyes fluttered open and came into focus. Leaning up on his elbow he said, “What time is it?”

  “It’s six thirty-five. Don’t get up. I called an Uber already. It will be here in five minutes, so I need to head downstairs.”

  His eyes were so expressive. Pain lanced through me, seeing how he felt.

  “Why didn’t you wake me? I wanted to drive you.”

  “I thought it would be easier this way.” I shook my head. “For so many reasons.”

  “Fuck.” Milo dragged a hand through his hair. “I need more time to say goodbye.”

  I smiled sadly. “But we’re not saying goodbye. I’m going to see you in a few months, remember?”

  He blew out a deep breath. “Yeah, okay. But just give me one second.”

  Milo hopped out of bed and jogged to the bathroom. He came out a minute later and took me into his arms. I smelled mint on his breath, so he must’ve brushed his teeth while he was in there.

  “We didn’t get souvenirs from Atlanta,” he said.

  I smiled. “It’s okay.”

  “No. It’s not. I want you to have something to remember every stop we’ve made.”

  “I can pick something up at the airport.”

  He cupped my cheeks with both hands, and his eyes dipped down to my lips. “I think I have something better.”

  I licked my dry lips.

  Milo groaned. “God, I’ve wanted to do this for so damn long.”

  Before I could respond, he tilted my head and sealed his mouth over mine. His lips were surprisingly soft, but his touch was firm. He nudged for me to open and wasted no time dipping his tongue inside when I did. All hell broke loose after that. The coat that had been in my hand fell to the ground, and my arms wrapped around his neck. Milo growled and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and I didn’t realize we were moving until my back hit a wall.

  Milo pushed his hips into me, and I could feel his steely erection even through our clothes. Unable to get enough, I moaned into our joined mouths and threaded my fingers through his silky hair, giving it a good, hard yank to bring him even closer. I could feel the rapid beat of his heart through my chest…or maybe it was my heartbeat raging out of control against his. I couldn’t be sure because in this moment, there was no him and no me—there was only us.

  We went on that way for a long time; minutes passed as we were lost in our own intimate universe—until the sound of a cell phone ringing broke through and burst our little bubble.

  With a groan, Milo pulled back. We were both panting. I dug my cell out of my pocket and saw what I suspected was a local number. I swiped to answer while attempting to catch my breath.

  “Hello?”

  “Yeah, I’m parked out front of the Four Seasons to pick you up.”

  My heart sank, and my eyes found Milo’s. “Sorry. I’m on my way down now.”

  I ended the call and whispered, “The Uber driver is here. I have to go.”

  Milo leaned his forehead against mine. “Don’t say goodbye. I can’t hear you say that word.”

  I looked into his eyes. “I won’t. This trip has meant everything to me, Milo. I hope you know that.”

  “Me, too, babe. Me, too.”

  I forced a smile. “I’ll…see you in New Orleans on Valentine’s Day?”

  He nodded. “You bet your ass you will.”

  I walked to the door and looked back one last time. Milo was still rooted to the spot where we’d kissed.

  “In case you’re wondering, I got my favorite souvenir in Atlanta. Take care, Milo.”

  PART TWO

  Chapter 15

  * * *

  Hazel

  Two weeks later

  The doorbell rang, and I jumped.

  God, why am I such a nervous wreck? Ever since I’d agreed to meet Brady to talk, I’d had this looming feeling of dread hanging over me. I’d been so anxious yesterday that it took me forever to fall asleep last night.

  At the front door, I took a few deep breaths and smoothed my blouse before reaching for the door handle.

  “Hey,” I breathed out as I opened the door.

  Brady’s smile was luminescent. “Hey, beautiful.” He leaned in toward me, and it looked like he was going to kiss me on the lips.

  I pulled back.

  “Shit.” He shook his head. “Sorry. I wasn’t even thinking. I just… It’s been a long time and…habit, I guess. Can I at least give you a hug?”

  I forced a smile. “Sure. Of course.”

  Brady stepped forward and wrapped me in a tight embrace. I relaxed a little as he held me, the familiarity of his scent and touch giving me comfort. But then the fact that I’d started to grow comfortable in his arms began to freak me out, and I pulled away.

  “It’s cold out there. Why don’t you come in?”

  I’d been on blind dates that felt less awkward than inviting the man I was supposed to marry only a few months ago into my living room. Brady followed me into the kitchen. Wine was definitely going to be needed tonight. Though alcohol tended to make me emotional, so I planned to have only a glass or two. I wanted to take the edge off, not lose sight of what had happened between us—or what I’d learned about myself.

  “Would you like a glass of white wine?”

  “Sure. Thanks.”

  I already had a bottle open, so I took down two glasses from the cabinet and poured us each one. Brady hadn’t said much since he walked in, and when I looked up, I found him staring at me funny.

  “What?” I offered him a glass.

  He took it. “Nothing. I just really missed you. I hope that’s okay to say.”

  My lips pressed together. “Why don’t we go sit in the living room?”

  Brady followed me, and we sat a polite distance apart on the couch. As we drank our wine in silence, I glanced over at him and couldn’t help but make a comparison to Milo. While Milo had big, brown bedroom eyes, shaggy hair that needed a cut, and often sported a five o’clock shadow, Brady was the polar opposite. His blond hair was always neatly trimmed, his skin always smooth and clean-shaven, and his blue eyes were bright and attentive. The only thing the two men had in common was their beautiful, full lips. But it’s not that Brady wasn’t handsome. He was—very much so—just in a different way than Milo. With his buttoned-up, neat appearance and cropped hair, Brady had a Ken-doll quality about him. Milo looked more like he’d walked out of the Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine.

  “How was your trip?” Brady interrupted my thoughts.

  Wonderful.

  Amazing.

  Life changing.

  Those were the first words that came to mind.

  Yet, I shrugged. “It was good.”

  “What did you do?”

  This exact question was one of the primary reasons I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I’d gone round and round in my head about what I would say when Brady inevitabl
y asked it. Did I tell him the truth? That I took a road trip with a complete stranger? Or did I lie? Seeing as I never had come to a conclusion, I told the truth… Well, sort of.

  “I learned to ski, took some photos, and explored a bit.”

  After all, that wasn’t a lie.

  Brady frowned. “I was looking forward to teaching you to ski. Did you at least have a good instructor?”

  I gulped some wine. “Yeah. The instructor was great.”

  God, why did I feel so much guilt? Brady was the one who broke my heart and called off our engagement. I had every right to be with another man—not that Milo and I had been together in that way. But still…the guilt was overwhelming. I needed to change the subject.

  “How’s your mother doing?” I asked. Brady’s mom had been diagnosed with Lyme disease right before we split up. She’d had a lot of joint pain and suffered from constant fatigue.

  “She’s doing good. The last round of antibiotics really seemed to help.”

  I nodded. “I’m glad.”

  Silence again filled the air. Eventually, Brady set his wine glass down on the table and exhaled a deep breath.

  “Listen, Hazel.” He reached out and took my hand. “I don’t know how to start this conversation, so I’m just going to jump right in.” He looked down, shaking his head. “I fucked up. I royally fucked up. I should never have called off our wedding. I still love you. I love you so freaking much it hurts, and I don’t know how to make things right.”

  My heart began to race. While two-and-a-half months ago I would have given anything to hear those words, things had changed. I’d changed.

  “I…I…I don’t know what to say.”

  He squeezed my hand. “Saying you still love me might help me breathe a little. Right now I feel like I’m gulping air through a pinhole.”

  I stared down at our joined hands. Did I still love him? I definitely had feelings for him. But were they different now than they’d been before? Could feelings just go away? I wasn’t sure how I felt.