My Favorite Souvenir

by Ward, Penelope

  A few minutes later, I had a place to rest my aching head for another night, and I was standing outside on a busy Manhattan street corner. I didn’t feel like sightseeing, yet I needed some fresh air. So I turned right and started to walk, with no destination in mind. It was the week after Thanksgiving, but unseasonably warm, so at least the weather was cooperating. I walked for about an hour and a half, still unsure where I was heading and not feeling much better than when I left.

  When my stomach started to growl, I took out my phone to check the time just as it started ringing in my hand.

  Brady flashed on the screen.

  Shit.

  He’d called me four or five times over the last few days, and I’d ignored every one of his calls. I knew I needed to talk to him. After all, I’d flown three-thousand miles across the country to visit him, and he had no clue what the hell was going on. At least I assumed he didn’t. Though for all I knew, Maddie had told him everything, and he was trying to get a hold of me so he could find out where to come kick my ass.

  My cell rang a third time, and I was just about to stick it back in my pocket when I decided at the very last second to bite the bullet. I couldn’t put it off forever.

  “Hello?”

  “Dunc? What the hell? You disappeared off the grid. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for two days. I was starting to worry.”

  “Sorry. I…I just…I’ve been at my hotel.”

  “What, are you sick?”

  I dragged a hand through my hair, wishing I hadn’t picked up. “Yeah. I haven’t felt like myself.”

  Just then, a woman ran out of a small grocery store to my right. She wielded a broom in her hand, bristle side up, while chasing a teenage kid and swearing in Spanish. The kid, who was probably about fifteen, had on a backpack, and both his fists were full of candy. He laughed as he looked back over his shoulder at the upset woman.

  Brady must’ve heard the commotion. “Where the hell are you?”

  I looked up as I passed the store and read the street signs. “I’m at Fifty-First Street and Ninth Avenue. I just went for a walk.”

  “Well, you’re not too far from my office. Let’s grab some lunch.”

  “I, uh… I’m not sure I’m feeling up to it.”

  “Well, get up to it. Because I’m not taking no for an answer. You’ve blown me off for two days, and I’m worried about you, man. Walk down Ninth until you get to Forty-Sixth Street. There’s a restaurant I like there called Becco. It’s between Eighth and Ninth. I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes.”

  “I really don’t—”

  Brady cut me off. “Twenty minutes, buddy. Or I’ll hunt you down and find your ass.”

  Before I could say anything else, the phone went silent.

  “Hello?”

  Nothing.

  Fuck.

  He’d hung up on me.

  • • •

  Brady was already seated at a table when I finally walked in a half hour later.

  He stood and did the one-arm shoulder hug. “There you are. I just ordered a drink without you. I figured you were standing me up. What took you so long? You were ten minutes away, tops.”

  I dragged a hand through my hair. I hadn’t planned on coming until five minutes ago. I’d actually turned around and started walking the opposite direction. Then I realized I’d never get a good night sleep without knowing what the hell was going on, so I’d doubled back against my better judgment.

  “Sorry. Got lost.”

  Brady chuckled. “Sit down, you damn out-of-towner.”

  The waitress came right over and handed me a menu. “Can I get you something to drink while you take a look at the menu?”

  “I’ll take a water, please.”

  My friend plucked the menu from my hand. “Change his water to a bottle of cab, the one you usually have from South Africa, and we’ll take the frutti di mare for two.”

  He handed the waitress back the menus, and she looked to me for approval. Food was the last thing I had the energy to fight over. Plus, it sounded pretty fucking good.

  I shrugged. “What he said.”

  After the waitress disappeared, Brady didn’t waste any time diving in. He grabbed a breadstick from the center of the table and bit off a piece. “Talk to me. What’s going on with you? Something’s up.”

  “I’m fine.”

  He made a face that said he wasn’t buying it. “I know I’ve been a shitty friend the last few years. But we dormed together for four years of college. I think I can still tell when you’re full of shit.”

  I let out a deep rush of air. “Give me a bit, okay? I just walked in the door. At least let me get some wine in me before you start making me wake the skeletons in my closet.”

  Brady nodded. “Yeah, okay. I get it.”

  Feeling impatient and wanting the spotlight off of me, I turned the tables. “So what’s going on with you? I didn’t expect to see you with your ex-fiancée when I walked into the bar the other night.”

  “Yeah. We’re working on things.”

  My heart sank. “So she wants you back after she called off the wedding? Change of heart?”

  Brady frowned. “She wasn’t exactly the one who called off the wedding.” He looked me straight in the eyes. “It was me who ended things.”

  Ever have a moment in time where you’re really down and something gives you a morsel of hope? Yeah? Well, that wasn’t me at the moment. Instead of being elated that Maddie hadn’t lied, I felt…angry. Really fucking angry. My nostrils flared, and I felt my face begin to redden.

  Luckily the waitress brought our wine. I immediately drank half the glass back and spoke through gritted teeth.

  “What the fuck did you lie to me for?”

  Brady at least had the decency to look ashamed. He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “I’d already told my mother and a few other people the truth and got my ass handed to me. I couldn’t take any more lectures. Everyone loves Hazel. We’d each agreed to contact our own friends and family to let them know the wedding was off, and by the time I got five people into my hundred-person list, I was tired of staying on the phone for an hour. I didn’t have an acceptable reason for doing what I’d done, and everyone thought I was a piece of shit.”

  “So you lied to the other ninety-five guests and made her look like the piece of shit?”

  Brady’s eyes widened. “Jesus, man. Relax. I lied to take the easy way out and get off the phone quick. I didn’t kill anyone. You look like you’re about to pop me.”

  He wasn’t wrong. When I looked down at my hands on the table, they were balled tight. I had to make a conscious effort to unfurl my fists.

  “Look,” he said. “I’m sorry if I misrepresented the facts. But let’s not let that get in the way of your visit.” He reached out and put his hand on my shoulder. “I miss you, brother.”

  I needed to pull my shit together. Brady wasn’t going to buy that I was pissed off because of what he’d done. Plus, I wanted more information. Like what the fuck happened between them? So I reined myself in.

  “Yeah. Okay.” I blew out a deep breath. “So…why did you do it? Call off the engagement?”

  Brady sipped his wine. “I don’t know. I’d met this woman at work.” He shook his head. “Athena…Greek…a real bombshell. I started to think about only ever being with one woman for the rest of my life. That’s a long-ass time.”

  I squeezed the wine glass so hard I thought it might break. “So you dumped Maddie because you wanted to screw some other woman?”

  Brady’s eyebrows furrowed. “Maddie? Who’s Maddie? Wait…isn’t that the woman you met on your road trip?”

  Fuck. “Yeah, sorry. Hazel, I meant Hazel.”

  “Anyway, Athena and I… We—”

  The waitress interrupted our conversation to deliver a giant platter. It smelled delicious, though I had no appetite anymore. She set the giant tray of pasta and seafood down in the middle of the table and used tongs to serve us two h
eaping plates.

  “Would you like some fresh pepper?” She held up an oversized grinder.

  “That would be great,” Brady said. “Thanks.”

  When she was done, she turned to me. I shook my hand back and forth, even though I’d normally put pepper on anything. “No, thanks.”

  After she walked away, I waited for Brady to finish his sentence, to tell me if he’d cheated on Maddie. But instead, he shoveled a huge forkful of spaghetti into his mouth and spoke with it full while pointing at my plate. “Dig in. This stuff is fantastic.”

  I tried to not come off as overly interested, but I needed to know. Picking up my fork, I twirled it into the pasta. “So, continue your story. You were talking about this woman, Athena?”

  Brady waved me off. “It’s not important. What matters is I’ve come to my senses, and I’m getting my girl back.”

  I had no idea how I was going to swallow this forkful of pasta. “She wants to get back together?”

  Brady shrugged and plucked a little-neck clam from his plate. He forked the meat off the shell and shoved it into his mouth. “She’s getting there. She wants to make me work for it, though, of course.”

  He looked over at my plate and pointed again. “What’s the matter? You don’t like it? I figured it would be right up your alley. Remember that little shack we used to go to off Route 70 for all-you-can-eat fried clams? You always took home a doggy bag and a waitress. Well, that was before you met Z…” He frowned and caught my eye. “Sorry.”

  I looked away. “It’s fine. I can talk about her now.”

  Brady nodded and offered a sad smile. “I’m glad, buddy. Really glad. Now tell me what’s going on with you. I know something is off, so don’t try to bullshit me again.”

  I tried to come up with an explanation he’d buy, but I couldn’t. My mind was too fucked up to formulate a lie. So I went with the truth—a version of it, anyway. “It’s no big deal. I met this girl back in Vail.”

  Brady popped a shrimp into his mouth. “Maddie? The one you went on the road trip with.”

  “Yeah. I, uh... I guess I fell kinda hard. I thought maybe it could go somewhere, but it turned out she’s unavailable.”

  “Unavailable? So, what, she’s married?”

  I shook my head. “No. But…she’s sort of seeing someone. I guess it’s been off and on.”

  Brady smirked. “So steal her away, Romeo. I’m sure women still fall at your feet. I mean, I think you’re ugly as sin, but the ladies always found something about you appealing.”

  Steal her away.

  “I wish it were that simple,” I said.

  He picked up his wine glass and tilted it toward me. “Are you in love with her?”

  My heart started to race. I’d asked myself that very question a few hundred times over the weeks since Maddie had walked out the door in Atlanta. And not until this moment did I truly know the answer. Great fucking timing to have an epiphany.

  My shoulders slumped. “Yeah, I think I am.”

  He knocked back the rest of his wine. “Then let me give you a piece of advice—from one guy who almost lost his girl to another. Don’t be a chickenshit and let her slip through your hands. I don’t give a crap if she has a boyfriend or not. If you’re in love with her, go for it. You don’t always get a second chance.”

  I doubted more fucked-up advice had ever come from the man who has the girl to the dude who wants to steal her. I felt like total shit.

  Not knowing how to respond, I simply said, “Thanks.”

  One torturous hour later, I felt like I’d run an Ironman as we walked out onto the street after lunch. I was emotionally spent, and the abuse I’d done to my body last night had taken a physical toll. I needed to go lie down.

  Brady patted my back. “So how long are you in town?”

  I shook my head. “I’m not sure.”

  “What do you say we play cards like the old days? Some poker? Remember Trevor Winston? He was a year behind us at CU. When he drank too much, he’d repeat everything twice. ‘Anyone want another beer while I’m up? Anyone want another beer while I’m up?’”

  I laughed for the first time in two days. I did remember Trevor, now that he’d described him that way. Nodding, I said, “We called him Trevor Two Times.”

  “That’s him. He lives a few blocks away from me. Every once in a while, we pull together a card game. I’ll see if I can organize one for Sunday, so we can watch football while we play. It’ll be just like the frat-house days, except my apartment doesn’t have sludge on the floor, and the beer won’t be whatever is the cheapest on the shelf at the store that takes fake IDs.”

  The only thing I felt like doing was getting the hell out of here. Yet I figured playing cards with a few of the guys was getting off easy.

  “Yeah, okay.”

  “Great. And tomorrow night, we’re going out. I know a great little place that has amazing food and even better live music. You’ll love it.”

  I shrugged, because Brady sounded so pumped, I figured he would fight me if I said no. But I had no intention of going. “Maybe.”

  “What hotel are you staying at?”

  “The Executive. Downtown.”

  “Good. I’ll be at your hotel at seven thirty tomorrow. I get that you’re down. But we’re brothers. Let me try to cheer you up a bit.”

  Brothers. That was the cherry on top of the shit cake.

  I forced a smile. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But how about I text you tomorrow and let you know?”

  “Sure.” He smiled. “Text me. Though, like I said, I’ll be at your hotel to get you at seven thirty, either way.”

  I shook my head. I’d have to deal with this one later. Holding out my hand to shake, I said, “Thanks for lunch.”

  Brady used my hand to pull me in for a bear hug. He slapped my back. “I really missed you, man. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

  Chapter 18

  * * *

  Hazel

  “Hey, babe.”

  The rare, recent smile I’d had on my face turned south when I heard Brady’s voice on the other end of my cell—not because he hadn’t been amazing lately, but because every time my phone rang, I got my hopes up that somehow it was Matteo. I’d snuck in and used Brady’s phone to call him three times over the last few days. Each time, I’d left my cell number on his voicemail, hoping he’d return my call. No such luck.

  I motioned to my photography assistant to finish unpacking the equipment we’d just carried into the school auditorium and stepped into the hall with my phone.

  “Hey. What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Not much. Just wanted to hear your beautiful voice to start my day.”

  Brady was really trying. “Well, I can only talk for a minute. We’re setting up to start kindergarten portraits over at an elementary school in Millville.”

  “Kindergarten? That’s your favorite grade to shoot, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah. The experience is new and everything is exciting to them, so they usually have the best, most genuine smiles. By the time they get to sixth grade, they’re already masters at posed selfies, so not much is genuine anymore.”

  “It’s great how much you love your job.”

  While Brady meant well, his comment was a reminder of how little he actually paid attention. Ninety percent of the time, my job bored the hell out of me. I found myself thinking, Milo would know, and that made my head hurt. Especially when I realized I’d just thought of him as Milo and not Matteo.

  Ultimately, I had to remember it was my responsibility to find happiness for myself—whether that meant a career change or somehow finding my way to the right decision about my life partner. Ugh.

  “Listen, I know you’re busy,” Brady said. “I just wanted to check in with you and say good morning, and see if you had plans for tonight. I was thinking we could go to that dinner place with live music in the West Village that you like so much.”

  “Finn’s?”

  “Ye
ah, that’s the one. It would be a double date.”

  “A double date? Who’s the other couple?”

  “My buddy Matteo.”

  It felt like the needle on a record had screeched to a halt, along with my heart. “Matteo has a…date?”

  Brady chuckled. “He doesn’t know it yet. I thought I’d ask my sister to set him up with one of her friends. We had lunch yesterday, and he’s really down over some woman. Figured it would help cheer him up.”

  My eyes widened. “A woman?”

  “Yeah. The one he’d mentioned that he met on his road trip. Sounds like she’s jerking him around. He could definitely use a fun night out. And music is his thing. The poor guy is walking around like someone ran over his dog.”

  Heaviness settled into my chest. “So Matteo’s…sad?”

  “Yeah, he is. So whadda you say? Double date tomorrow night?”

  There were so many reasons to decline. First, the thought of Matteo on a date with another woman made me feel sick, much less a date I’d have to watch up close and personal. Second, Matteo and I still hadn’t spoken, so I had no idea how we were supposed to handle things. Though obviously, he’d followed my lead and was still pretending we didn’t know each other. A double date with Matteo and Brady would very likely be a colossal disaster. Yet…I couldn’t get him to return my calls, and I had no idea where he was staying to go knock on his door. So, as much as I knew more things could go wrong than right, I found myself feeling desperate.

  “Okay. Yes, I’ll go.”

  I heard the smile in Brady’s voice. “Thanks, babe. You’re the best.”

  • • •

  Since Brady was already in the city, the plan was for me to meet him and Matteo at Finn’s.

  I’d taken the train in and arrived early. Unfortunately, Brady’s sister’s friend, Kimber—Matteo’s apparent date—had also arrived early and was already sitting at our reserved table. To my dismay, Kimber had supermodel looks—long, blond hair and long legs to match—and that made sense because she was—surprise, surprise—a model.

  I was stuck making small talk with her until the men arrived.