Raw Honey

by Cecil, Amy

  "Oh God, Honey," he pleads. "I want this, God knows how much I want this, but I'm saying no. Not in Ice's driveway."

  "But …" I interrupt, but he quickly stops me from saying any more.

  "Our first time is gonna be special, as it should be. It's definitely not happening in Ice's home, his porch, his yard, or his fucking driveway."

  I giggle at his words as I realize he's right. I don't want our first time to be here.

  "You're laughing at me," he says, surprised.

  Smiling, I reply, "No babe, not laughing at you. Laughing ‘cause you are right. Thank you."

  He smiles back. "I gotta go, babe. See you tomorrow."

  "You got it, big guy," I reply. He kisses me on the cheek and proceeds to mount his bike. Revving the engine and placing his helmet on his head, he waves and drives off.

  God, I love that man, I think to myself as I walk back into the house. And I realize that I am hopeful for our future together. And then a scary thought enters my mind: am I in love with him, or do I just love the idea of him? I shake my head. No! This is gonna work.

  "Good morning, ladies," Ice says as he comes into the kitchen the next morning.

  "Good morning, babe," Emma says as she walks over to him and gives him a kiss.

  "Ari, are ya ready to go?" he asks.

  "I am. Rebel was over this morning and helped me pack the car. It was tough saying goodbye, but he said that as soon as he gets back from Ireland he would come down and see me."

  "Oh, I bet he will," he says sarcastically. "Promise me you'll be careful? You know I worry."

  "Yes, Caden, I promise. You tell me all the time that I drive like a grandma. I don't think I can get any more careful than that," she says smartly. He laughs. Then she adds, "I was just waiting for you to get your butt out of bed so I could say goodbye before I left." She walks over to him and gives him a big hug.

  "I'll call you when I get back to the States."

  "Promise you'll be safe."

  "I promise."

  "Promise me something else?" she asks.

  "Anything."

  "Keep Rebel safe. Please bring him home to me, Caden." She sounds so scared and desperate. I feel bad for her and Emma. They are so worried about Ice and Rebel and I totally can understand that. I'm worried for them too, but we all have seen them survive the impossible and I have to keep the faith that they will survive this as well and come home to the women that love them.

  Ari gives Emma and me a hug and turns to leave with tears in her eyes. I know that she wants to stay and I whisper to her, "Just one more semester, sweetie. You got this." She nods and walks out the door.

  After Ari leaves, Emma excuses herself and runs upstairs, which leaves Ice and me alone. I'm sure it's another bout of morning sickness.

  We are silent for several minutes and then Ice asks, "Will you do me a favor, Honey?"

  "Sure, Ice. I would do anything for you."

  "I want you to take care of Emma for me while I am gone. I have no idea how long we'll be gone, and it'll really make me feel better knowing that she has you as well as the club looking after her."

  "Ice, there's no need for you to even ask that. Emma and I have built a true friendship and I've already planned on staying around here with her while you're away. You don't need to worry about her at all."

  "Thank you. I knew I could count on you," he replies, relieved.

  "Count on her for what?" Emma says as she comes back into the kitchen.

  "Not a thing," he says.

  "If you're talking about having Honey babysit me, I think she's beat you to the punch and has already planned on doing that."

  He laughs. "So you were eavesdropping?"

  "No, I wasn't, but I know you, Caden Jackson. For some reason, you seem to think that I can't take care of myself. So even though I can, I will indulge your insecurities and allow Honey to babysit me."

  "Fuck, I'm gonna miss you, girl!" he says as he pulls her in for a kiss.

  I go about making myself busy in the kitchen as they say their goodbyes. When he's ready to leave he comes over to me and gives me a slight hug and says, "Take care, girl—and remember your promise."

  "You got it, boss. Be safe!" I reply as the fucking tears fight to break free. But I hold them in like I always do.

  Emma immerses herself in her work and I clean. I don't think Ice had been gone fifteen minutes before we felt the loss. I'm sure we will be seeing other members of the club from time to time, but that doesn't make it easier. Emma is asleep on the couch, so I decide to clean the upstairs so I don't disturb her. She needs her sleep.

  Just as I finish the upstairs, I faintly hear my name being called. I come downstairs and see Emma standing at the bottom of the steps. "What are you doing?" she asks.

  "Cleaning,"

  "Why?"

  "Well, unlike you, I don't have work to dig into. So I do what I do best: cook and clean." I come all the way down the steps and walk over to the cupboard to put the duster away. I turn back toward Emma and say, "Now, what were you saying about running to the store?"

  "Oh, yeah. I'm going stir-crazy waiting to hear if the boys landed; I need to get out of this house. Wanna come?"

  "Sure, let me just run a brush through my hair and I'll meet you outside."

  "Ok." Emma grabs her purse and heads for the door.

  When I get outside, Emma is standing by her car with a note in her hand. She's trembling and I immediately know that something is wrong. But I don’t say anything and just proceed with caution, following her lead.

  "Come on girl, shopping awaits. Get in the car," she says. I can tell that she is putting on an act. Are we being watched?

  After closing the door, I ask, "What the fuck is going on, Emma? Your whole demeanor just changed. You're scaring me."

  "Just act normal until we get away from the house. Then I will tell you everything."

  After we get away from the driveway and out onto the main road, she hands me a note.

  I know what you did.

  I know what he did.

  You will not get away with it.

  And neither will he.

  What in the hell is going on? Who could have sent this? "Holy fuck, Emma! Where did you get this?"

  "It was on my windshield." She looks over at me and I can see that she is terrified. "Call Hawk. Please," she begs.

  I immediately pull out my phone and begin dialing. When it starts to ring, I put it on speaker phone.

  One, two three rings. Why isn't he answering? Four, five six rings … and it goes to his voicemail. Fuck!

  "What do I do?" she asks me.

  "Let's drive by Betty's and see if he's there. Maybe he's in a meeting or something and can't get to the phone."

  "Ok," I reply. She changes direction and heads toward Waterford.

  A few minutes later, my phone rings. I look down and say, "It's Hawk." I answer the phone and put him on speaker.

  "What's up, babe? Sorry I missed your call. I was on the line with Ice. They just landed in Dublin," he says into the phone.

  "That's great, Hawk. Glad to hear they're safe. Emma too. Speaking of Emma, she needs to talk to you. I have you on speaker, we're in her car."

  "Hey doll, what's up?" Hawk says to Emma.

  "Hawk, someone left a note on my car. It's not good. Honey and I decided to run to the store and when I walked out to the car I saw a piece of paper on my windshield. Thinking nothing of it, I grabbed it and began to read it. Hawk, someone was watching me while I read that note! What do I do?"

  He asks no questions, just calmly says, "I'm at Betty's. You and Honey get here as quick as you can—and make sure you bring the note!"

  "We're already on the way. I have the note. Thanks, Hawk," she says and I can hear the relief in her voice.

  I hang up and we continue to drive straight to Betty's. We arrive fifteen minutes later.

  I lead Emma into the diner and head straight for the back and up the stairs. I know exactly where Hawk is keeping
himself and so I go directly to his makeshift office.

  "Let me see it," he says as we walk into the room. She hands him the note and he begins to read. When he's done, he asks, "Do you recognize the handwriting?"

  Instead of answering him, she blurts out, "Hawk, I know what this is about."

  He looks at her curiously. "You do?"

  "Yes. This has to do with Grayson," she says confidently.

  "What makes you say that?"

  "Well, the handwriting reminds me of Mark. Now, I know that it is not his handwriting, but once I thought of him I made the connection. What else have both Cade and I done recently? We just reconnected after eleven years. This has to be about Grayson. There isn't anything else it could be."

  "You might have a point there. To an extent, it makes sense. But I need to look into this further to be sure," he says.

  "Tell me, is there anyone that you know—maybe a member of the Satans club—who was friends with Mark? Maybe that Skid guy?" Emma asks.

  "Yeah, I think they were friends," Hawk says.

  "And does Skid know that Caden killed Mark? Does he know that I was kidnapped and that Caden did it for me?"

  "He does," he replies slowly. I finally get where she is going with this and I think Hawk is too.

  He says, "Alright, I'll check it out." He pauses and adds, "In the meantime, when you talk to Ice—who, by the way, said he would be calling you tonight—don't say anything to him about this right now. I'll put some guys on the house and make sure that you all are watched."

  "Why can't I say anything to Caden?" she asks.

  "Emma, he is dealing with some nasty shit in Ireland. I know he didn't tell you everything, but I don't want him worrying about anything but getting the fuck home. If he knew about the note, he will feel torn and will want to rush home to you—and I get that, really I do. But until we know more, I don't want to alarm him. This could be nothing."

  "Ok, I understand."

  Hawk pulls out his phone and dials. He says, "Hey, I need you and Dbag to plan on spending a lot of time with Emma. She does not leave Ice's lake house or go anywhere without the both of you with her. You will be staying there, too, so plan on moving in for a while."

  He waits while the person on the line responds and then says, "She's with me at Betty's right now. I'll keep her here until you get here." He pauses. "And Spike, you both protect her with your life. You got me?"

  After Hawk is done on the phone he walks over to Emma and gives her a hug, kissing the top of my head. "Everything is going to be ok, darl'n. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you, not on my watch. Besides, Ice would have my head." He chuckles and then adds, "I'll make contact with the Satans and see what I can find out about Skid, too. You need to go back to the house, though. I don't want you roaming around town until I know something more concrete about this." He looks over to me as if to ask me to also keep an eye on her. I nod and show him that I am with him on this.

  "Ok, Hawk. Thank you."

  "Dbag and Spike will be coming by to escort you ladies home." He walks over to me and pulls me into a hug. "Even though the circumstances suck, I can't tell you how nice it is to see you, babe." He kisses me on the cheek and I can't help but giggle. I have to say that I am thoroughly enjoying his attention. Why didn't I agree to this earlier? I ask myself and then I quickly remember why: Ice.

  Emma and I make our way downstairs and a few minutes later, Hawk joins us. Emma turns to him and asks, "So Cade called?"

  "Yes. They just landed in Dublin," he says as he looks at his watch, "about an hour ago. They're heading over to get transport to Belfast."

  "Transport?" she asks.

  "Yeah, one of the Knights sister clubs in Belfast arranged for them to have bikes. You know how Ice hates driving in a cage."

  We laugh and it helps relieve some of the tension from earlier. I can tell that Emma is still concerned by all this and she confirms my suspicions when she asks, "Hawk, do you think we should be worried about this note?"

  "Emma, I really don't know. Give me some time to look into it further. The precautions I'm taking are preemptive and reactive. I don't want to think nothing of it and have it turn out to be something. This way, I have you protected from the get-go."

  "Ok, I trust you."

  About an hour later, Spike shows up at Betty's. He walks over to our table and says, "Reporting for babysitting duty, boss."

  Smartass.

  Hawk stands up and gets into Spike's face. "You get this straight, brother: Emma is our prez's old lady. You will protect her as you would protect him or any brother in this club, and you will not disrespect her. Understood?"

  Holy shit, is he really mad?

  Spike says, "Hawk, man, I was just messing with her. I know who she is and I know how much she means to our prez. You don't have to remind me."

  "Then remember this isn't a joke or a game at Emma's expense," Hawk says.

  "I got it, geez." He looks over at me and then says, "I'm sorry, Emma. I meant no disrespect."

  "See, that wasn't so hard," Hawk says sarcastically.

  "Fuck you. She knew I was messing with her. You just made a big deal out of nothing," Spike says.

  "Do we need to go a few rounds outside?" Hawk asks.

  Nope, he’s teasing.

  "Sure, old man! Let's do it. I'll kick your ass," Spike replies.

  "Guys, guys, stop this!" Emma yells. I think she actually thinks they are about to throw down right here in Betty's. I can't hold it in any longer and I bust out laughing.

  "What?" Emma asks.

  Now we're all laughing. "Why are you all laughing?" she asks. She seems genuinely hurt that we are laughing.

  I can't let her suffer any longer and I speak up and explain. "Emma, we're laughing ‘cause they were just messing with each other and you thought they were going to start fighting. They do this all the time. I'm sorry for laughing; you didn't know."

  "Oh," she looks over to me. "Will I ever get this?" she asks and damn it, I feel bad for her.

  "Of course you will, you're doing better than most in your situation would. This is all new to you—we get that. But we'll get you there, I promise. You're good for Ice and we aren't going to let you fail."

  "Hell no!" Hawk replies. He looks at me and smiles. I think he is pleased that I am so willing to help Emma get all this. I think it gives him a bit of the security that he needed to get past my relationship with Ice.

  Chapter 17

  On the way back to the house, I notice that Emma seems to have relaxed a bit about the whole note thing. Dbag and Spike follow us back on their bikes. When we get to the house, she parks the car and we get out. She pauses and looks around warily, then shudders and goes inside. Ok, so she's on edge again.

  We all walk into the house and once the door is closed and locked, she turns to Spike and says, "Spike, I know this might sound a bit paranoid, but I think it is important for you to know that when I discovered the note on my car I was sure that someone was in the trees watching and listening."

  "You sure? You don't think that maybe you were just freaked out by the note?" he asks.

  "At first, I did think that, but then a feeling came over me. You know, that one where your stomach falls to the grounds and your skin begins to prickle? I would bet money that someone was there."

  "Ok, darl'n. Dbag and I will go check it out."

  "Thank you."

  They pull out their guns and hold them at their sides as they walk out the door. I have to say, I'm getting the heebie-jeebies too. I am quite glad they are both here.

  A few minutes later the guys return. Spike says, "Well, Miss Emma, I don't want to scare you more than you already are, but I think you're right. There is a pile of cigarette butts behind the tree over by the driveway. If any of our guys were out here, they wouldn't be hiding in the trees and wouldn't need to hide their cigarette butts." He starts walking through the house and making sure that all the windows and doors in the house are locked. "You ladies don't go out
side for anything. Not even the mail. You hear me?" We both nod.

  Just then Emma's phone starts to ring. She walks over to her bag and pulls it out. She smiles and answers, "Hey, handsome!"

  I turn to Spike and say, "That better be Ice, for all our sakes," and we all laugh.

  Emma comes back into the kitchen and Spike asks, "Was that Ice?"

  "Yes. They made it to Belfast."

  He mimes clearing his brow in relief and says, "Good." Dbag and I smirk as he walks over to Emma and puts his arm around her, giving her a slight squeeze. "He'll be home before you and that baby know it."

  Spike is a good guy. He always knows the right thing to say. Unfortunately, I can’t take stock in his reassurance. I’m worried for Ice and the boys. I try my best to keep my feelings about them hidden from Emma. The last thing she needs right now is to worry more than she already does.

  "Thanks, sweetie. Hopefully, you're right." She pauses and then says, "This whole note thing has got me worried. Hawk says not to bother Caden with it, but all my instincts are shouting at me to tell him."

  "Trust Hawk. He has been around the block a few times and knows what he's doing. His first priority is his loyalty to Ice. He won't steer you wrong."

  "Yeah, when you put it like that it does make it a little easier to accept."

  "So, Honey girl, whatcha cooking me and Dbag for dinner?" Spike asks.

  I laugh. "Who says I am cooking you boys anything?"

  "Awww, come on, Honey. We've missed your cooking since the clubhouse blew." He then adds, "Besides, we're your protection. You gotta keep us nourished, right?"

  I love taking care of these boys. They have always made me feel welcome and needed around here and I would do anything to keep them happy. So of course, I cave. I was actually planning on making them dinner anyway, but I just wanted to tease him a little. "I think I am going to make some chili. Does that sound good?"

  "Oh, hell yeah!" Spike cheers.

  "Fucking A! That sounds awesome, Honey. Can we help?" Dbag adds.

  I chuckle to myself. There’s nothing like a home-cooked meal to turn these big bad bikers into happy boys. They’re not so tough after all.

  "Naw, Emma and I got this. You boys go hang out in there or shoot some pool or just do whatever it is you boys do." I shoo them off.