Time to Say Goodbye

by Rosie Goodwin

  Cissie looked astounded. ‘He’s taken a horse to the blacksmith’s to be shod, but never fear, just as soon as he comes in, I’ll tell him to drop it off to yer. It must ’ave slipped his mind.’

  ‘Thanks, Cissie,’ He seemed to relax a little then and went on to tell her what his wife Betty had been up to. ‘She’s joined the Women’s Institute an’ it seems to have given her a new lease o’ life.’ He chuckled. ‘I wonder you don’t go along to one of their meetin’s, Ciss. I reckon you’d enjoy it.’

  Cissie grinned. ‘To be honest, Bill, it’s just comin’ home to me that I ain’t as young as I used to be an’ it takes me all me time to keep this place goin’ now. Between you an’ me, although Sunday does more than her share, I’ve been thinkin’ o’ suggestin’ gettin’ someone in part-time to do some of the cookin’. I have to be in the kitchen for half six every mornin’ to get ’em all fed afore they go to work an’ it’d be lovely to have a lie-in now an’ again.’

  They carried on chatting for another ten minutes but eventually Bill glanced at the clock and told her regretfully, ‘I should be goin’ then, Ciss. The coal won’t deliver itself, will it? Ta-ra fer now, love.’

  With that he went off whistling merrily, leaving Cissie to get on with her chores.

  Later, when she and Sunday were folding the washing, Cissie remembered what Bill had told her.

  ‘Bill Dewhurst mentioned earlier that he ain’t been paid fer a couple o’ months. Yer’d perhaps better mention it to Ben.’

  ‘I shall,’ Sunday promised, looking puzzled. As far as she knew Ben had always been prompt at paying the tradesmen and the household bills. But then they had been very busy in the stables for the last few weeks, so it had probably just slipped his mind.

  ‘The other thing I wanted to talk to yer about,’ Cissie said, looking slightly nervous, ‘was about perhaps gettin’ someone from the village in to do a bit o’ the cookin’.’

  Sunday instantly looked guilty and horrified. ‘Oh, Cissie, I’m so sorry. Is it getting too much for you? I should have noticed.’

  Cissie flapped her hand and grinned. ‘O’ course it ain’t too much, it’s just that none of us are gettin’ any younger an’ this is a big place for me an’ you to keep goin’. I just thought it would take a bit o’ work off us.’

  ‘I’ll advertise for someone straight away,’ Sunday promised. ‘Although it’s not so easy to get help nowadays. Since the war ended more and more women have jobs outside of the home. I suppose it comes from them doing the men’s jobs while they were away at war,’ she suggested.

  Cissie’s head bobbed in agreement. ‘You’re right, but just someone part-time would do, an’ there ain’t no rush. There’s still a bit o’ work left in me yet.’

  Later in the morning when the men came in for their tea break Sunday mentioned the outstanding coal bill to Ben and was dismayed when she saw a dull-red colour creep up his neck.

  ‘So, are you suggesting that I deliberately didn’t pay him?’ he asked irritably.

  ‘Of course not! I know how busy you’ve been,’ Sunday answered quickly. ‘I was just jogging your memory, that’s all. I can get the money out of the safe and pay him myself if you’re too busy to,’ she offered.

  ‘There’ll be no need for that. I’m going into town this afternoon, so I’ll call in at the coal yard and pay him then!’

  ‘All right, there’s no need to get so angry.’

  Ben scowled and strode out of the kitchen without even waiting for his coffee as Sunday gazed at Cissie perplexed, wondering what she had said wrong.

  Chapter Five

  Once he was back in the stables Ben stood fuming. Sunday had shown no interest in anything since his father had died so why should she suddenly start now? His thoughts were interrupted when Kathy cantered into the yard on her horse and hopped lightly down from the saddle. Despite the bitter cold, she was dressed as usual in her old jodhpurs and a thin shirt that showed off her figure, and Ben found himself staring at her.

  ‘Hello there.’ She smiled at him as she led the horse into her stall and began to unsaddle her. ‘I was meaning to tell you that David will be over again this Saturday for a ride. Is that all right?’

  He shrugged. David had been a regular visitor for some weeks now and he wondered why she even bothered to ask. The horses weren’t his after all – or the house if it came to that, thanks to his father leaving everything to Sunday instead of to him. But then he supposed he shouldn’t have expected anything else. Looking back to the time when Sunday and Tom had discovered that he was Tom’s child, it had taken Sunday a long time to accept that her husband had a child by another woman. It didn’t matter to him that she had tried every day since she had finally accepted him to make amends. He’d forgotten all the times Sunday had rushed to his room when he was caught in the grip of a nightmare after he first returned from the war, and all the times she had sat by his bed whispering soothing words and holding his hand until the sun came up. As far as he was concerned, since Kathy and Livvy had come along, they had always been her favourites, and this only added to his feeling of resentment.

  ‘So … you’ve been seeing this David for some time now, haven’t you? Is it serious between you?’

  Kathy looked mildly surprised at the question; Ben didn’t usually show any interest in what she did. Then she threw her head back and laughed. ‘Of course it isn’t,’ she told him. ‘David is a really nice man and I think a great deal of him but only as a friend …’

  When she quickly looked away and flushed, Ben frowned. ‘Ah! So, is there someone else you have your eye on?’

  ‘Might be.’ Kathy sniffed. She was saved from having to say more when Cissie appeared carrying a mug of coffee.

  ‘Here you are, grumpy,’ Cissie said, pushing it towards Ben and sloshing some of the contents onto the sawdust on the floor in the process. ‘You were so busy snappin’ Sunday’s head off back there in the kitchen that you stormed off wi’out this.’

  ‘Oh … er, thanks,’ he said, taking the mug from her.

  Cissie wagged a plump finger at him. ‘There weren’t no need fer that,’ she scolded. ‘Sunday’s been good to you an’ you’d do well to remember it.’

  ‘Oh yes, and aren’t I good to her?’ Ben growled. ‘It’s mainly me who keeps this business going, in case you hadn’t noticed.’

  ‘I ain’t even goin’ to stand here an’ listen to you when you’re in this argumentative mood,’ Cissie told him with a glare. ‘I really don’t know what gets into you just lately, me lad!’ And with that she turned on her heel and flounced back across the yard. Ben narrowed his eyes and watched her go, and sensing that all was not well, Kathy scuttled after her leaving him to wallow in his self-pity.

  Early in June, Livvy set off for Billy Butlin’s new holiday camp in Skegness with two of her older friends from work, who had promised Sunday they would look after her, for a whole week’s holiday.

  ‘It’s quite close to the beach, according to the brochure,’ she informed her mother excitedly as Sunday helped her pack her case.

  ‘Just make sure you enjoy it and have a good rest,’ Sunday urged. Livvy was such a hard-working girl she deserved a holiday. ‘I just wish you were going somewhere a little more exotic where you were guaranteed the sun.’

  ‘Huh, there’s nothing wrong with Skeggy,’ Livvy replied. ‘And from the sounds of the place there will be lots to do even if it rains. I just wish I could have persuaded Kathy to come with me.’

  ‘I wish you could have too – she works far too hard,’ Sunday agreed, closing the clasps, and following behind as Livvy humped the case down the stairs. Ben was waiting outside the front door to run her to the train station to meet her friends, so after giving her mother and Cissie a swift hug she got in the car, waving wildly from the window as it drove off.

  ‘Oh, to be young again, eh?’ Cissie sighed before pottering away, and Sunday could only nod in agreement.

  The summer seemed to pass in the blink of an eye and
by the end of it, Sunday was convinced that Kathy and David were becoming a couple, although Kathy still stoutly denied it. But why else would he visit on a weekly basis? And why would she go to the pictures and out for meals with him? Sunday mused. It was clear David was besotted with Kathy, and Sunday could only assume Kathy was playing hard to get. Even so she had high hopes that something would come of it in time and she always went out of her way to welcome him. After all, he was far from home, which was why Sunday suggested to Cissie one weekend in mid-September, ‘I was thinking of inviting Verity and Edgar for dinner one evening and I thought it might be nice to ask David too – if he could get away from the hospital, of course. What do you think?’

  ‘I think it’s a grand idea,’ Cissie agreed. Sunday and the Locketts had been friends for as long as she could remember, although Sunday hadn’t seen quite so much of them since she had lost Tom. Edgar had been the vicar at Chilvers Coton Parish Church, until he had retired the year before and now he and his wife, Verity, had left the sprawling vicarage that had been their home for many years and were living happily in a little cottage in Attleborough. ‘Why don’t you ask David when he has a night off?’ she suggested. ‘I dare say Verity and Edgar could come most any evening now that he’s retired.’ It was nice to hear Sunday planning social events again.

  ‘Mm, you could be right. I’ll do that and you and George must join us too.’

  ‘Oh, you know my George ain’t much of a one fer standin’ on ceremony,’ Cissie pointed out. ‘An’ besides, I’m still tired from me weekend away. I’ll do the cookin’ for you instead.’

  Sunday smiled at her affectionately. Some weeks before Cissie and George had caught the train to London to watch the International Lawn Tennis Challenge at Wimbledon, then they had stayed an extra day in a very nice hotel in the city to do some sightseeing before catching the train home again. Cissie had thoroughly enjoyed it, especially when Great Britain had won, but she was a home bird and had been glad to get back and had no intentions of going away again anytime soon.

  Now Sunday sighed guiltily. Despite Cissie requesting some help some months before and Sunday promising she would advertise she hadn’t got around to it as yet but now she promised herself that she would. She had thought of asking Ben to do it, but she didn’t want to pressure him because he was so busy in the stables. On top of that he seemed to be in a permanent bad mood lately and sometimes she and Cissie felt as if they were walking on eggshells trying not to say anything that might upset him.

  ‘That doesn’t seem fair,’ Sunday pointed out glumly. ‘I’m just putting extra work on you.’

  ‘I don’t mind,’ Cissie assured her as she shuffled the newspaper on the table and then as something caught her eye, she snatched it up and frowned. ‘Would you just look at that,’ she said angrily, stabbing a finger at a picture of King Edward and Wallis Simpson. ‘He’s still walkin’ out wi’ that married woman, bold as bloody brass!’

  Sunday refrained from smiling. She didn’t want to upset Cissie further.

  ‘I tell yer, the prime minister’ll have somethin’ to say about this soon if he carries on the way he is.’ Cissie sniffed indignantly. ‘Just what example is he settin’ to the nation, eh?’

  Sunday didn’t even bother to comment. Cissie was clearly very against the king seeing his lady friend and she knew there was nothing she could say that would make her change her mind.

  It was almost a week later before David could accept Sunday’s invitation and he turned up shortly before the Locketts, bearing a bottle of very good wine and looking neat as a new pin and very handsome.

  ‘My contribution to the evening,’ he told Sunday as he gave her an affectionate peck on the cheek. But his gaze was on Kathy who had just appeared on the stairs and Sunday noticed how his eyes lit up. She watched closely for Kathy’s reaction but was disappointed to see that she greeted him no differently to any other visitor.

  Delicious smells were issuing from the kitchen as Sunday ushered the two young people into the day room while she hurried away to help Cissie put the finishing touches to the meal. They had decided to do a straightforward roast dinner. Cissie was the first to admit that she wasn’t any good at what she termed ‘fancy cooking’ and Sunday smiled as she entered the kitchen. The vegetables were cooking on the range and Cissie was just removing a sizzling joint of roast beef from the oven.

  ‘You might not like to do anything fancy, but you can certainly do a wonderful roast,’ she praised and Cissie’s chest puffed with pride.

  Once Verity and Edgar had arrived and joined David and Kathy in the day room, Sunday went down to the cellar to fetch some more wine. She would only need one bottle as Livvy was out with friends and Ben had declined the invitation to join them. It had been a long time since she had ventured down there but Tom had always kept it well stocked, so she was surprised to see that most of the wine racks were now empty. Ben was in charge of ordering whatever they needed, but they didn’t drink much anymore, so she couldn’t imagine where it could have gone. She selected a bottle from what was there and, pushing this puzzle to the back of her mind, went back upstairs.

  They had a very enjoyable evening and once they had finished, Kathy left the room to show David – who was on call early the next morning – out.

  ‘What a lovely young man,’ Verity commented. ‘And he’s clearly very smitten with your Kathy. Do you think we might be hearing wedding bells soon?’

  Sunday sighed. ‘I certainly think we could if it were up to David but I’m not so sure about Kathy,’ she admitted. ‘The poor chap has made it more than clear how he feels about her and he’s a regular visitor here, but Kathy doesn’t seem to want their relationship to go beyond friendship.’

  ‘Ah well, friendship is a good start.’ Ever the matchmaker, Verity grinned.

  Sunday sincerely hoped that her friend might be right. Nothing would make her happier than to see Kathy settled with a good man – Livvy too if it came to that. But still, she consoled herself, they were both still very young and she could live in hope. Both girls were far too beautiful to stay single forever!

  Chapter Six

  Shortly after waving David away, Kathy made her way to the stables to find Ben there bedding down the horses. George had already left to join Cissie in their cottage.

  ‘Oh, I thought George was seeing to them this evening and you were having an early night,’ she said in surprise.

  ‘I was, but I changed me mind,’ he muttered, keeping his eye on the horse he was rubbing down.

  ‘So why didn’t you come and join us for dinner then?’

  He glanced up, taking in her shining hair and bright eyes. ‘I dare say I didn’t want to sit and watch you swooning over your fancy man,’ he muttered.

  Kathy’s heart began to hammer. Ben must be blind if he hadn’t realised by now how she felt about him. There was a big age gap between them, and she was sure he just viewed her as his little sister, but that made no difference to how she felt about him. Her voice was ragged as she said, ‘How many times do I have to tell you? David is not my fancy man … If you must know my feelings lie elsewhere …’ Her voice trailed away.

  Ben narrowed his eyes at her. ‘Oh yes … and is it anyone I know?’

  ‘Oh, you’re just … just so …’ She turned away blindly with tears in her eyes but before she could reach the door, he had caught her arm and swung her towards him. Looking into her face he saw all she felt for him shining in her eyes and he grinned as the feelings she had kept from him for so long gushed out of her like water from a dam.

  ‘I only let David keep coming because Mum seems intent on marrying me and Livvy off and it makes her happy!’ she choked. ‘But you must know that it’s you I want? It’s always been you – I’ve tried not to feel this way, but I can’t help myself!’

  She and Livvy were Sunday’s little treasures. How would Sunday feel if he were to take her precious girl down? Ben wondered, his jealousy eating away at him. It would probably be them who inherited
the house one day and the way he saw it, it wasn’t fair! He didn’t love Kathy, but he had been noticing for some time what an attractive young woman she had grown into and he was only a man after all! His bodily needs were usually satisfied by a certain lady who lived on the outskirts of the village but here was Kathy offering herself to him on a plate and what better way of getting revenge on his stepmother?

  ‘L-let me go, Ben,’ Kathy sniffed, deeply embarrassed now that she had declared her feelings. But if anything, his grip on her arm tightened, and she wished the ground would just open up and swallow her.

  ‘You do realise that I’m old enough to be your father, don’t you?’

  She nodded as a solitary tear slid down her cheek. Then she lifted her chin defiantly. ‘So what if you are?’ She stared at him. ‘I find young men my own age boring and immature, if you must know.’

  ‘And what about these?’ He lifted his fingers to touch the scars on his face. ‘Most women would find me repulsive.’

  She shook her head, making her beautiful hair dance on her shoulders. ‘No, no,’ she denied. ‘You’re … Well, they just make you look more … interesting. You’re actually very handsome.’ She had always thought of him as a hero and now without doubt he knew she would be like putty in his hands.

  Tilting her chin with his free hand, he stared down into her flushed face and smiled as he suggested gently, ‘Shall we go up into the hayloft to talk?’ And it was as simple as that. She followed him meekly up the rickety ladder like a lamb to the slaughter.

  When he silently undid the buttons on her dress she stood woodenly, her lips trembling and her face a mask of embarrassment, but she made no attempt to stop him. This was what she had always dreamed of. She could see his outline by the light of the moon that shone through the small, grimy window in the roof and when he began to hastily undress, she quickly looked away. As a nurse, she had seen many naked men, but this was entirely different.