Can't Hardly Breathe

by Gena Showalter

  Holly had entered her room unannounced. She must have used a key she wasn't supposed to have. At least her funeral attire had been replaced by a brown top and black jeans.

  The brown was as shocking as her presence. Since Dorothea's return, Holly had mostly only worn black, as if she was in mourning--over seeing each other again. Was she finally thawing?

  "I hope you're not implying I--" she began.

  "Bone him? I'm not implying. I'm flat-out stating it." Holly spread her arms. "Bone him and get me an A."

  "I'm so out of practice, I might get you a D." Except, she remembered a time her lack of practice hadn't mattered. As she'd writhed on Daniel, her instincts had worked just fine. Better than fine.

  "At least I'd pass." Holly scratched her cheek and shifted from one foot to the other. "Don't worry about the inn. Mom and me will take care of things while you're out."

  The unexpected offer threw her for a loop. "I fired you."

  "Well, you just rehired me to work the weekends. Congrats!"

  A compromise was better than nothing, so she nodded. "Thank you. But just to be clear, you're not planning to burn the place to the ground, are you?"

  "Nah. I just want to prove I'm better at managing it than you are."

  "Ah. That makes sense. I look forward to coming home and finding you curled in a ball, sucking on your thumb, crying for mercy."

  "In your dreams," Holly said, the corners of her mouth twitching.

  They were having such a sweet moment. Zero arguing. She decided to push for a little more. "Listen, Halls, I want you to know--"

  Holly exited, shutting the door behind her with a loud thud.

  Abrupt beginning, and an even more abrupt end, but still Dorothea smiled with megawatt brightness. This was progress, pure and simple. While she wasn't sure what had heralded the change in her sister's attitude, she knew she would be forever grateful for it.

  "Oh, and by the way, Teach is here," Holly shouted through the doorway.

  Her stomach twisted. The date. With John, who was as sweet as sugar. Surely he could lure her affections away from Daniel.

  Her phone beeped, signaling a text had just come in. From Jazz. Ugh.

  Guess what! I'm coming to Strawberry Valley in the morning to do a special on the earthquakes and hail damage and possible tornadic activity in the coming months. I'd love to chat with you.

  Jazz was coming to town? Gag!

  There were no other hotels nearby, which meant he would have to stay at the inn. The idea horrified her.

  Could she really afford not to rent him a room?

  Decisions, decisions.

  She had until morning. Tonight she would have a good time with a good man. They would talk and laugh and, who knows, he might kiss her at her door. Fingers crossed. That way, his kiss would be the last she'd had, not Daniel's.

  That thought saddened her.

  I've got it bad. And I need it good.

  What on God's green earth was she going to do?

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  DANIEL EXPERIENCED A series of reactions when Thea and her date walked inside the Scratching Post. The first? A near heart attack. She. Looked. Amazing. A good deal of material was cut out of the top of her dress--he wanted to undo the little ribbons at her collar with his teeth...

  Next came the urge to grab his woman and whisk her away. Then the desire to strip her and take her--to brand her and slake his hunger. Last, the impulse to grab Hillcrest by the throat and teach him the error of his ways.

  Never touch what's mine.

  Nope, not last. Last was the need to stand on the bar and shout to one and all, I'm dating Thea Mathis. We're a couple. Deal with it.

  But he resisted. His timing, and his methods, had to be perfect.

  "You looking for a fight?" Brock asked. "Because I will wingman the hell out of a fight."

  "I'll let you know." He stayed put, watching, waiting as Thea stepped deeper inside the building. She hadn't yet noticed him in the corner, playing pool with his friends.

  Hillcrest draped his arm around her waist as he ushered her to the bar, where Lyndie waited and Ryanne hustled to fill drink orders. Every muscle in Daniel's body tensed. If Hillcrest spread his fingers, he would make contact with her ass.

  "He's definitely looking for a fight," Jude said. "I wonder how many casualties there'll be tonight."

  "At least two." Brock eyed the man beside Lyndie as if he'd just been issued a new government hit list, and he'd found target number one. The guy was smiling at her, tugging at the ends of her hair.

  Was she on a date, as well?

  Better question: Did Brock seriously want to date the kindergarten teacher who wasn't smoking or drinking or trying to pass lingerie off as clothing?

  "She runs and hides from me," Brock said.

  "Who? Lyndie?" Daniel asked, playing dumb.

  A stiff nod. "I thought she was afraid of all men, but turns out it's just me. As if I would ever hurt a woman." Brock rubbed the back of his neck. "I did some digging. As a kid and even while she was married, she was admitted to various ERs in the city. She had a suspicious number of broken bones for being, and I quote, 'overly clumsy.'"

  Daniel popped his jaw. Thinking back, he could remember all the times Lyndie had been "sick" and missed school. His senior year, she'd opted to be homeschooled.

  Poor girl. "Considering the hole I dug myself," he said, "I'm probably the last person who should give you advice, but I'm going to, anyway. Start slow. Keep your interactions short and sweet, and always end on a positive note. Leave her wanting more. It'll take time, but if you want her...the ban on Strawberry Valley girls is officially lifted."

  A slow song spilled from the overhead speakers, and Thea and her date moved to the dance floor. Hillcrest put both arms around her, and Daniel cursed.

  "What in Sam Hill does Thea think she's doing?" he grated. "She's supposed to be a role model for the younger girls in town."

  Jude arched a sandy-colored brow. "Role model, is she?"

  "Yes! She's smart, kind, and that mouth..."

  "Gets sassy, does she?" Brock asked.

  If his friend only knew the half of it.

  Jessie Kay arrived at long last, minus West. She was a vision in a fifties-style dress. It was red with black polka dots, a halter top that veed between her breasts and a skirt that flared at her waist and ended just below her knees, revealing a single ruffle. "Hey, y'all. Your day just got made. I'm here!"

  Thea and Hillcrest returned to the bar. A smiling Ryanne handed Hillcrest a wineglass and Thea a copper mug. She was having a Moscow Mule without him, he realized. That was his drink.

  His date.

  Thea was all sunshine and light, chatting easily with Hillcrest and her friends. What were they discussing?

  She didn't look like she was missing Daniel at all.

  "Maybe you could have won your girl's heart...if you didn't have a micropenis," Jude said.

  "Or that horrifying problem with impotence," Brock added with a shudder.

  "Or those hemorrhoids the size of the Wichita Mountains," Jessie Kay said helpfully.

  "Ha ha. When'd you talk to Holly?" Daniel asked.

  "She called about an hour ago." Jessie Kay took a drink--gulp--of his beer. "She was being a concerned citizen and thought I, as your best friend in the world, should get you in to see a doctor. I, of course, called your other, less important friends to discuss the best course of action for getting you help."

  "Yeah," he said. "I bet."

  In the back of the bar, a band carted their instruments to a dais. Ryanne joined them and adjusted the mic while the rest of Thea's group claimed a table in front to watch.

  "What do you say we join our girls?" Daniel asked, already marching across the dance floor. He'd told himself he would keep his distance. That he wouldn't approach her until after the date, because he never wanted her to wonder what could have been. But staying away proved impossible. She drew him.

  Maybe he drew her, too. Th
ose green, green eyes landed on him and widened. Electrical currents arced between them.

  Daniel picked up the pace.

  "Oh my gosh, y'all." Jessie Kay clapped as she and the others caught up to him. In an exaggerated side whisper, she said, "Daniel and Dorothea are gonna burn the whole place down, namely because a fire just started in my panties. Someone call West and tell him to forget his work and get down here el pronto!"

  When he reached the table, he pulled a seat next to Thea, edging Hillcrest out of the way.

  "--getting notes of cedar, chestnuts and raspberry," Hillcrest was saying as he sniffed his wine.

  "I'm getting wasted," Thea muttered, draining her mug.

  "Mind if we join you?" Daniel asked.

  Finally noticing him, a slack-jawed Hillcrest shot out his arm to shake Daniel's hand. "You're Daniel Porter."

  "I know," he replied, "but thanks for the update."

  The piece of shit didn't take offense but nodded with enthusiasm. "It's so great to see you again, man."

  Daniel ignored him, while Thea glanced between them, clearly unsure how to proceed.

  Her nails were purple. She was determined.

  Determined to do...what?

  "I gotta admit I've got a bit of a man crush on you," Hillcrest continued with an easy smile. First thing I'll do is knock those pearly whites down his throat. "I was part of the armed guard, and you were something of a legend, even to us. I was so proud to tell everyone we came from the same town. I even--"

  Brock pulled a chair behind Daniel and wrapped an arm around the guy's shoulders. "We don't like to talk about military business in front of our women."

  Our women, he'd said. Good boy.

  "Right, right." Hillcrest ran his fingers over his mouth, miming a zipper, before saying, "My apologies. Oh! Where are my manners? Dorothea, have you met--"

  "Yes. She's met everyone," Daniel said. "She's the reason we're here. The reason I'm here."

  "We're friends," Thea whispered. She cleared her throat. "He works at the inn."

  "Oh, that's right." Hillcrest laughed at himself, earning an encouraging smile from Thea. "I'd heard talk, of course, but hadn't put two and two together."

  "This is Jude Laurent and Brock Hudson," she added, and Hillcrest clutched his chest as if he were having a heart attack.

  "I'm--I--This is..." Hillcrest looked at one, then the other, then the other again, stars in his eyes. "The names of those in your unit were whispered through the ranks and--Sorry. My tongue is running away from me again."

  "You are in the presence of greatness," Daniel said, his gaze hot on Thea. "There's no denying that."

  She frowned at him before mouthing, Stop it.

  Jessie Kay caught the exchange and sought to lessen the mounting tension--by sitting on Hillcrest's lap. "Bet you didn't know your hero Danny boy has a micropenis. We're thinking about asking him to get penile enlargement surgery because we're so embarrassed for him."

  Thea choked on an ice cube, and confusion pinched Hillcrest's features.

  Jessie Kay often had that effect on people.

  Soft, haunting music wafted in the background, claiming everyone's attention. Ryanne belted out a shockingly soulful note that put goose bumps on Daniel's arms. She sang about everything left unsaid, everything left undone, and what if there wasn't a tomorrow, no, no, what if there wasn't one, what would we do then?

  Had she chosen the song on purpose?

  Suddenly all Daniel could think about was everything he hadn't said to Thea, everything they hadn't done to and with each other. If there were no tomorrow, he'd want to spend every second of today with her. She was the person he longed to hold throughout the night; she was the first thing he yearned to see in the morning.

  "I mean it. Stop," she whispered to him. "You're making me uncomfortable, looking at me like...like...that. I'm on a date. With another man!"

  "End it." Desperate to stake a claim, he almost yanked her onto his lap. "Problem solved."

  Tremors of anticipation rocked her, but she shook her head no. "I... No. I won't." She licked her lips and turned to Hillcrest. "If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom." She stood.

  To escape Daniel? Hell, no. That wasn't happening.

  "I'll walk you--" Hillcrest began, rising.

  "How about you and I get the gang a round of drinks?" Brock threw his arm around the man's shoulders to lead him away. Not that Hillcrest resisted. He stared up at Brock as if he'd hung the moon.

  As Thea hurried to the bathroom, Daniel chased after her, hot on her heels. She made it past the door before he caught up with her, so he leaned against the wall just outside, waiting. Five minutes passed...ten. Two women entered and left the bathroom with no sign of Thea. If she'd climbed out the window...

  He was about to leave his post to search outside when the door opened. She'd thrown water on her face, droplets clinging to tendrils of her hair. One slithered down her neck and caught in the heart-shaped collar of her shirt.

  When she spotted him, she stomped her foot. "I told you to stop it, Daniel, and I meant it. I'm fixing to get angry."

  "Get angry, then. I can't stop wanting you, sweetheart."

  "You only want me because I keep turning you down. I'm still a challenge for you, admit it."

  "We've had this conversation. You're a challenge, but that isn't why I want you." He gave a violent shake of his head. "I don't care how I get you, just as long as I get you."

  She rubbed her temples, wilting like a flower that hadn't been watered in days. "You can't do this to me, Daniel. I told you my hard limit. No secret relationship. It's too demeaning for words, and contrary to public opinion--"

  "I told my dad."

  "--I do have some self-respect. But here you are--Wait. What?"

  "I told my dad I want to date you." He took her by the waist and swung her around, then pressed her against the wall. "I want to tell everyone in town you belong to me."

  A thousand different emotions flittered over her features. The one he loved most? Hope. "I...I don't understand. What changed?"

  "I changed. I can't promise forever, and marriage isn't something I'm interested in--with anyone--but I don't like my life without you in it." He stroked the curve of her hip bone with his thumb. "Do you like your life without me in it?"

  She only stared up at him with those wide shamrock eyes.

  "I'm going to the inn, sweetheart, and I'm getting a room. Consider the slate between us wiped clean. You don't owe me another date, or anything else. If you want to be with me of your own free will, you knock on the door. That's all you have to do. I'll take care of the rest."

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  DOROTHEA COULD ONLY stand in place, rocked to the core, as Daniel walked away from her. He didn't return to the table, didn't say goodbye to his friends. He left the club, just as he'd promised. He was going to the inn, where he would be waiting for her.

  If you want to be with me, you knock on the door.

  He'd offered her a real relationship. They would be able to hold hands in public, and when someone asked him if he had a girlfriend, he would say yes. As if he was proud to date her.

  He could change his mind tomorrow, after they'd had sex and the challenge was gone. With him, that would always be a risk. But...

  He'd taken the first step, simply in an effort to please her. How could she not take the second one?

  But...

  The word continued to echo inside her head. If Daniel's spark for her died, she would want to die.

  Great risk, great reward.

  She trudged back to the table. Both Brock and Jude gave her a searching look. Lincoln West had arrived, and he was cuddled up to his wife. The two were lost in each other, and a deep pang of envy cut through Dorothea.

  John frowned at her and squeezed her hand. "Everything okay?"

  What to do, what to do? Risk everything, or play it safe?

  Daniel hadn't lasted with any of the other women he'd dated. How could Dorothea suc
ceed where they had failed?

  Oh, crap. She was doing it again. Thinking less of herself. Self-confidence wasn't just a decision, she realized. It was a daily battle.

  Well, fear wouldn't rule her today. She wouldn't let it.

  I'm taking the risk!

  "John," she said, and sighed. "Will you take a walk with me? Outside?"

  Everyone else at the table looked away, suddenly interested in something else. John released a sigh of his own but nodded; they left the dim, soulful atmosphere Ryanne's voice had created and entered the coolness of the evening.

  There were no clouds in sight, just mile after mile of twinkling stars.

  Silent, they walked through the parking lot...headed toward his car? He already knew.

  "You're in love with Daniel Porter," he said without fanfare.

  "I am." How strange, admitting the words aloud. Especially to someone other than Daniel. But John deserved the truth. "I didn't want to love him. I hoped another man could help me get over him."

  "I understand. I really do. I'm kind of in love with him, too." They shared a laugh, and he added, "To be honest, I'm still not over my ex, and I hoped the same thing. Just seeing you smile did more for me than...well. Anyway. Daniel is a lucky man. And an amazing one. I drooled on him, didn't I?"

  "You did, but don't worry, you're not the first." She bumped him with her shoulder. "There's something about him no one can resist."

  They reached John's car, and he fished his keys out of his pocket. "Come on. I'll give you a ride home."

  "No, thank you." If she was going to do this thing with Daniel, she was going to do it all the way. That meant a clean break with John. Not that they'd ever been an item. It was just that she knew how she'd feel if Daniel accepted a ride from a woman he'd once been interested in dating. "I'll catch a ride with Jude and Brock."

  He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "If things don't work out..."

  "I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure they do. I truly wish you all the best, John."

  He offered her a sad smile. "Right back at you."

  She backed away, and he climbed into the sedan. As he drove off, she made her way back inside the club. Jude and Brock were already halfway to the door. Planning to check on her?

  "I need a ride," she said.

  "Where's the date?" Jude asked. He looked stressed to the max, but she didn't think it had anything to do with her or John. He'd looked that way the entire time he'd been in the bar.