Lost Omega

by Caitlin Ricci

  “Hi,” Isaiah said. His voice was rough. It was too early and he was exhausted.

  “Hey. I’m Sam. I’m second in command and Marcus’s cousin. And you’re Isaiah. A known omega, but otherwise a total mystery.”

  She removed her beanie. Isaiah hadn’t realized before that her head was completely shaved. He liked it. Maybe he’d do that too at some point soon. Maybe if he stayed there with these people long enough, he could really start taking care of himself. He hadn’t done anything more than the bare minimum of a shower sometimes and brushing his teeth when he could.

  “Marcus thinks I’m an omega, at least. I don’t even think I’m a werewolf.” Getting a bed to himself for a few hours had been really nice, though. Maybe he’d stop arguing that point for a while as he enjoyed the bed.

  Sam grinned at him. “Oh, you’re definitely one of us. I can tell. And it’s not just Marcus’s scent on you. It’s all you. And you’re all wolf.” She laughed and leaned forward, the chair creaking with her movements. “So what are you into? Girls, guys, neither, both, enbys?”

  “I’m not into being hit on barely after sunrise for sure,” he grumbled.

  “I wasn’t asking for me. You’re not my type. You’re not even on my radar. You’re not even—”

  Isaiah held up his hands to stop her from continuing on. “Okay. I get it. You’re not into me.”

  “No, I’m not. But Marcus might be. Maybe. He’s tough to read. And if he’s not, or if you’re not into him, there are lots of people here that are single. That’s why I was asking. And yet, Marcus isn’t the only one of us with a spare room at the moment, but you’re here, crashing on his futon. It says something, you know?”

  Isaiah hadn’t ever had the normal teen dating experience, so he really didn’t know what it could all mean really. “Maybe he just doesn’t trust me and wanted to make sure that I was close by so that he could keep an eye on me.” Isaiah wouldn’t trust some random person like himself either. Marcus didn’t know him, and he didn’t know Marcus. It made sense to him that Marcus would want to keep him close by.

  Sam, though, she just shrugged, and she didn’t look convinced at all by his reasoning. “Marcus gives everyone the benefit of the doubt until they end up screwing him over. It’s his weakness. I came in here this morning to meet you, get to know you a little, and maybe figure you out for myself before he has a chance to form his own opinions of you.”

  He thought that was pretty fair of her. “Sounds like you’re a good friend to him.”

  Her lips twitched up. “I like to think that I am. And I could be a good friend to you too, in time. For right now, why don’t you go shower, get some fresh clothes on, and come have breakfast with me. You’ll meet most of the pack later this week. They’re unsure about you, and they’re keeping their distance. Right now you’ve just got me, Marcus, and maybe Josh to deal with. If you make it through this week then you’ll get to meet the rest.”

  Isaiah didn’t really feel like getting out of bed. He was warm, comfortable, and he’d been pretty content for a while there before he’d woken up with Sam in his borrowed room staring at him. But he especially didn’t want to get up to go hang out with a bunch of werewolves when, up until last night, he hadn’t thought that werewolves were anything more than fairy tales to begin with. Still, he could manage to play nice in order to keep staying there for a few days at least. “Will there be food?” he asked as he sat up. He hadn’t put new clothes on, so he’d wait for her to leave before getting out of bed.

  “There’s always food here.” She ruffled his hair on her way out of the room.

  Isaiah thought about that as he got up. These people lived a life in which there was always food. He shook his head. He couldn’t even remember what that felt like.

  He didn’t put a lot of thought into what he was going to wear that day. Everything pretty much looked the same. Basic sweatpants and sweaters. A few plain t-shirts. Nothing that he was definitely attracted to, and nothing that he really didn’t want to wear, either. But it all smelled clean and he couldn’t find any stains or tears. These weren’t cast-offs. They were just extra.

  He took another shower, because he could and there was no one there to time him or to remind him about how precious water was and how he needed to not be so greedy, and then he got dressed. Everything was soft. It was worn in, not worn out. He sat on the bed for a few minutes and simply rested, getting comfortable with the idea of having clothes like this and living a life like this. Sam had made it seem so simple—Isaiah knew it was anything but.

  He went outside, expecting someone to greet him. Instead there was no one. He heard laughing, and children playing, but he wasn’t being guarded. He shrugged and went back inside, where he grabbed a donut from the counter and a handful of strawberries from the fridge and didn’t feel like he was being greedy at all because, as Sam had promised, there was a ton of food in Marcus’s cabin. He went back out front and sat in a chair on the deck that was narrow enough he could put his feet up on the railing. His shoes were far from new, but the holes in them weren’t too bad yet. They wouldn’t last two more winters, but he could probably get by with them for this one at least.

  Isaiah didn’t hear Marcus come up beside him, but then suddenly he was there, leaning over the railing. “Did you sleep well?”

  His mouth had been stuffed with donut, so he did the best he could and gave Marcus a nod.

  “Good. I’m glad. The futon isn’t great, but it’s something. There’s a few cabins that we’re finishing out right now and those should be ready in two weeks. I thought they were closer to being a month out, but I looked at them this morning, and it shouldn’t take that long to finish them off. Then you’ll have your own place. It’s not much, but I hope you’ll like it enough to stay.”

  Isaiah swallowed his donut quickly. “I don’t know about staying,” he said honestly. “I’m not a werewolf, despite what you and Sam are telling me. I don’t know how to prove that to you though, but I am thankful for the place to stay for a little bit as long as you decide to let me hang out at least.”

  Marcus smiled at him and came around the porch, taking up the empty spot. “I know you can’t tell what you are, but I can. You wouldn’t be here if you were human. You wouldn’t be around us, either. We’ve got kids here. If you were human, I wouldn’t have brought you this close to them. Kids don’t know how to not be little werewolves—they don’t know how not to start shifting when they get scared, for example. I know that you’re a werewolf, and I know that you’re an omega. It’s okay that you don’t know who you are yet. It’s okay, even, if you never shift. It might not ever be something that you’re capable of, since you didn’t do it when you were a kid. The only thing that matters is that I know that you’re one of us, and that you know that you’re safe now. You have a place with us for as long as you want, as long as you aren’t a threat to us in any way. Are you someone that I have to be worried about here?”

  Marcus was being serious, and Isaiah had no idea what to say to him. “I don’t think I am. But I’m not a saint, either. I’ve been on my own a long time. I’ve never really fit in anywhere. But I’ve never hurt anyone who wasn’t trying to come at me first, and I’ve never stolen anything that I didn’t need to, like for food or something.” Isaiah hoped his explanation would be enough for Marcus, because he really did want to stay here for a few days. He liked the quiet. Maybe it wasn’t always like this, with only the birds chirping nearby and somewhere off in the distance some children still laughing, but it was nice right now. He hadn’t heard the sound of sirens in hours. There was no fighting, no yelling. Just peace.

  And then there was the security of it all. He could have handled a lot of yelling, and he had in the past, for the security of knowing that he had food when he wanted it, and that he could get clean. There were no expectations here, either. At least none that he’d heard about yet.

  Marcus reached over and touched his shoulder. “You’ll see, in t
ime, that you’re welcome with us, and that you are exactly what we’re telling you that you are. I am glad you’re here, though. I want you to know that. We haven’t had omega in this pack in a long time. Years, actually. It’s a special time for all of us.”

  Isaiah frowned, expecting something ominous to come out of that revelation. “What happened to your last omega?” Had they killed him? Eaten him alive? Isaiah didn’t know what to expect with these werewolves, but he did expect that the other shoe was going to drop at some point soon. It was too nice, too peaceful here. This couldn’t possibly be how things actually were here.

  “She fell in love with a human and chose to go live with him. They’re in Seattle now and they adopted a kid. I’m not upset. I’ll always want the best for her, and she was one of my closest friends when she lived here with us. But we aren’t at the place where we’re okay coming out to humans, even just one of them.”

  Isaiah put his worries aside for the moment. They weren’t gone, but he was trying to relax a little. What Marcus was saying made sense to him. And he was trying to be reasonable. “What do you want from me? In exchange for the food, the place to stay?” He was going to be okay with whatever it was, probably. He’d put up with, and done, a lot for much less than what Marcus was offering.

  Marcus gave him a shrewd look. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not that. This isn’t a quid pro quo kind of situation here. This is us, as a pack, saying that we don’t leave werewolves out in the human world to fend for themselves. This is me, as the alpha, saying that whether with us or another pack, you’ve got a home. I’m sorry that no one found you sooner. I’m sorry that you haven’t been taken care of well in your life up to this point. But that’s done now. You’re here, and you’re safe, and I’d really like you to stay, but if you’re not comfortable here, then I can find you another pack. If you’d like to go back to the life you had before I won’t be happy about that, but I’ll bring you food and clothes and I’ll take care of you however you’ll let me.”

  Isaiah had a lot to think about, not the least of which was how much he didn’t think he deserved what Marcus was offering him. “And if I’m not a werewolf?”

  “You are, though. And you know what, even if I’m wrong, you’re here now. You have a place with us, for as long as you want it.” He shrugged, looking unconcerned. “Here’s the thing, Isaiah. You’re here, so have fun. There’s a lake, there’s plenty of food, if you run into someone you don’t know then they’ll tell you who they are, and if you get lost someone will help you get back here. There’s a cabin with a big office sign on it, that’s the place with the best internet connection. Feel free to use it for however long you want. Check your emails, play games, whatever. Just relax. Enjoy yourself.”

  Marcus continued speaking, a soft smile over his lips. “Omegas have this calming presence. You don’t even have to do anything. It’s like you guys have got these pheromones or something that just calm everyone down and make them happier. Like a wall plug-in thing for anxious dogs. I saw a commercial about those last week. It seems like a good analogy.”

  Isaiah had no idea what Marcus was talking about. “Uh. Sure. Okay. So you really want me to just chill?”

  “Yes.” Marcus looked excited, like maybe Isaiah was getting it.

  But he really wasn’t. Nothing came for free. “And, then what? I just hang out until when? Until you call for me? Until you come into my room tonight? What’s the end game?”

  Isaiah knew instantly that he’d said the wrong thing, because Marcus looked pissed as he sat back in the chair. His expression had gone dark and hard and his hands were clenched into a fist. Marcus took a deep breath and tapped his fingers, one by one, against his thigh as he uncurled his fist. It was as if he was counting to himself. “I won’t ask you for their names, or even their locations. I don’t want that information. I’m trying really hard to be non-violent, but trading sex for the basics of a comfortable life is just so wrong. Is that why you left home? Did someone abuse you even in that most safe place?”

  Isaiah had no idea why Marcus would be so mad on his behalf. Marcus didn’t even know him. “No. It wasn’t because of that.” Not that he hadn’t been abused, but he would have stayed despite that. “I was fighting a lot. Like I said, I’ve never really fit in. The last family, they got tired of it, and when I was supposed to be picked up by social services again, I just took off. I figured I didn’t want to do it anyway. Another new home, another new family, new school, new crap that was just the same as all before. I was done with it. And, in some ways, being in the streets was better. The expectations were clear. There was no fakeness. I wanted food, I knew how to get it. I was cold and I wanted a place to sleep and all the shelters were full, I knew where to go and what I had to do to get through the night. It was simpler.”

  Marcus still looked mad, but also like he pitied him. Isaiah didn’t really care if he did. “Nothing like that is ever going to happen to you ever again,” Marcus promised him. “Relax, do whatever you want to. I’ll make sure your cabin gets done within two weeks max.”

  “Thanks,” Isaiah mumbled.

  Marcus nodded and got up. “I’ll see you around.”

  “Sure.”

  * * * *

  As Marcus left Isaiah his anger was still hot within him, and he needed an outlet. Unfortunately, there wasn’t one. Not in the pack, at least. He could go for a run, but the way he was feeling, it would take him all night to burn off this kind of energy. He could screw, but that would just be pointless right now. There was no one in the pack he wanted, and if he had to drive to another pack to find someone who would be interested in him, that would kill any chance of him actually wanting to take part. No, the only way he was going to get through this was to talk to someone, and the only person he wanted to talk to was Sam.

  “You look like shit,” she said as he found her stretched out in the grass by the orchard. It was just six trees, most of them apple, but it was the start of an orchard, and they were adding onto it every year.

  He sat down heavily beside her and growled. He didn’t have words. Not right then at least. But the growl was something.

  She sat up with him and sighed. “That bad?”

  “I hate humans,” he grumbled.

  But she shook her head. “No, you don’t. You hate what they do to each other. You hate what some of them become. But overall you actually kind of like humans. What’s up, though?”

  He looked over at her. She would hold Isaiah’s secrets tightly just like they were her own. “Isaiah’s been abused. I don’t know how often, or when it started, but there’s definitely darkness there, and I want to hurt whoever thought that was okay.”

  “I got that sense too. I can be gentle with him. You know he’s going to be safe here, so at least that’s something. How do you want to proceed? Without knowing anything about it, we can’t really get back at them for what they did to him.”

  She was right, and vengeance wasn’t really his style. He just hated that anyone could do that to another person. “I don’t know how to help him. And I don’t know how to get him to realize that he’s one of us. What if he never shifts? What if he never runs as a wolf or hunts for himself? What if it’s too late or that part of him is too damaged by whatever was done to him? Then what?”

  “Then you care about him as our omega. So what if he can’t shift? You know what he is. I know what he is. If he believes he’s a human living among werewolves for the rest of his life, then so what? He’ll still be an omega werewolf that you saved from a life on the streets and gave a home and protection. In forty years it won’t matter all that much anyway. Most of the elders pick a form and stick with it until they die. You know that.”

  He did know that. “Why didn’t his wolf protect him though? If you tried to hit me I wouldn’t have a choice—mine would come out and bite your hand. It’s instinct to protect ourselves. I just don’t get why his didn’t kick in.”

  “We were raised as w
erewolves, though,” she said with a shrug. “Maybe his wolf has never come out because it can’t. Maybe he’s shut it down so hard that we’ll never see that side of him.” She blew out a frustrated breath. “And so what? He doesn’t have to protect himself here. He just has to rest and enjoy life. Maybe he’ll help paint one of the houses you flip someday. Maybe he’ll learn to install a backsplash. Maybe he’ll just stay here and recover from his life before you met him. Whatever it is that he ends up doing, he’s going to be fine.”

  Marcus took a deep breath. He leaned against Sam and was glad that he’d sought her out. “Thank you for this.”

  “You’re welcome. He won’t be Ella, I promise you that. My wife was damaged beyond repair. Isaiah seems much more ready to be helped.”

  They didn’t talk about Ella much, and Marcus hadn’t been thinking about her at all, but he could see how Sam would be. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring her up.”

  “You didn’t. And I don’t mind thinking about her. I tried so hard to save her, but in the end, she chose her own path. She’s happier now, and I still see her all the time.”

  It wasn’t the same thing, not even close, but Marcus wasn’t going to argue with her. Ella had decided to remain in her wolf form. She’d been through hell and had decided that life as a person was too much for her. But she stayed close by. “Do you think she still remembers us?”

  Sam shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it’s just the familiarity of it all. But, I like to think that she does. Maybe not in the same way, but I like to think that there’s some recognition there when she comes to visit me. She doesn’t come to anyone else, at least, so that’s got to be something. Just...Marcus?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t push him, okay? Don’t push Isaiah. I know you care about him, but if you decide that you care about him more than just an alpha caring about an omega, let that be his call. If it takes years for him to get through what’s been done to him, don’t rush that. I rushed Ella, I thought I could love her hard enough to get out everything bad that had been done to her, and it backfired on me. So don’t push Isaiah.”