Temptations

by Diana Scott

but I don’t want to… —she cried putting his face in between her little hands.

  —Why do you do this to me? Why me?

  And now

  Night arrived to early.

  It was the time to face reality.

  She couldn’t escape, not this time.

  She had been running from the problems all her life. This was the moment to face reality.

  —Don’t be a coward, you must face him —she told herself you must show how much you are worth.— I can. We will fight but he would listen to reason. He is going to realize his mistake and apologize to me.

  —I am hurt but I must forgive him, we have a son, a family, a home, we love each other… Yes…I must forgive him. —It was decided. The rage, the pain, the disappointment, none of that mattered compared to their son and their marriage.

  That was her duty as a mother and as a wife.

  Family comes first and she had to fight for it. But, why was she feeling so empty?

  Indifference was mixing with a feeling of anger that surpassed the infidelity.

  In her heart there was much more, but they were buried feelings, so deep down that even she couldn’t understand them.

  Time went by…

  —Hi. Don’t turn on the lights. —Susy was still on the couch, in the same position she found herself 5 hours ago.

  She was sitting in silence and darkness. The only think that kept her company was her broken heart.

  She was hoping to listen to something, something like the truth or a miracle, the break up. She wanted the earth to swallow her so that she could disappear without having to have to listen to anybody. Just disappear.

  —It’s a little dark —Oscar could smell the seriousness of the situation. Something was up. Did the beloved friend Mia tell her about what happened in the party?

  It was unclear so he decided to just wait, analyze the possibilities of disarming the bomb he was facing.

  —Well, if that’s what you want. —He sat on the couch. Susy was looking at him, she was quietly clenching. Something was definitely up.

  In the darkness he was able to see his wife’s tension. It was dark, but not dark enough not to see his wife. Her eyes were red, had she been crying?

  Susy gathered all the courage she had, she felt like her legs couldn’t hold there, she got closer to him and with all the rage in the world she threw the note in his face.

  She was hoping for Oscar to prove that she was wrong, for him to tell her that that note wasn’t his, she was looking for a saving way and it had to come from him.

  But he wasn’t saying anything.

  He wasn’t justifying himself. He wasn’t apologizing.

  His looked was dancing between her and the note. His gestures showed fear, confusion… But that couldn’t be possible. Her husband was too much of a “man” to show any feelings of regret for cheating her.

  Oscar couldn’t believe he was so careless. “Idiot, idiot and a thousand times idiot… how careless can you be?” Think, think, think…

  —You are not going to read it? Oh, you know it by heart, right?

  —Susy… I’m…

  —Who is she?

  —Does it matter? —Oscar started walking around the living room.

  —It matters to me. —said a beaten Susy.— Who is she?

  —I met her a while ago. —The evidence was too strong. He couldn’t deny it. Maybe if he faced the situation he could…

  —How long? —She was trying to put a façade of tranquility but her shivering voice was giving her away.

  —It doesn’t matter, I don’t remember. —Of course he remembered, around a year. At Rurik’s company party.

  —Susy, I… —He couldn’t continue.

  —Do you love her? —Why did she ask such a thing? She didn’t know why, but that conversation wasn’t turning out the way she had planned.

  —Why are you asking that? No..no..well..I think that… I’m not sure —was sitting in the couch. He was holding his head with both hands trying to control his head from exploding into a million pieces.

  Truth be told, he had been confused over his feelings for a while, but he had never imagined something like what was happening.

  His wife was facing him like she’d never done before. Could it be that this was the end of their marriage?

  The idea of splitting from his wife had crossed his mind several times, but he had always dismissed it.

  His wife was his life, and there was nothing beyond it. They were going through ruff times, but what couple didn’t have to suffer from this?

  He didn’t know how but he found himself in his living room’s couch confessing sins that he’d never had the intention of bringing up. He was an unfaithful husband and this wasn’t the first time. But, what man isn’t? A mistake didn’t mean that he was the worst person in the world, and that he had to be juried without a proper trial.

  It was the moment to explain him.

  —Susy, I… there are times when men make mistakes, but is not a matter of feelings, I mean I have feelings for her but they are not that strong… —he couldn’t finish his amazing speech.

  His wife wouldn’t allow it.

  Like a lioness she responded.

  —What?! —What’s going on? Susy didn’t plan any of this. This couldn’t be real what she was hearing. Oscar should be mad, scream, and then say he was sorry and promise that he would never ever again would cheat on her. That’s what he was waiting for. This couldn’t be. Oscar was in love with another woman and he was confessing? But, how? And now, what should she do? And the worst part is that she was causing that confession with her facing him as a strong woman. He was bringing out the truth from him.

  For once she wanted the truth, a truth in a long list of lies told by her husband.

  —Susy… I… I don’t know exactly what’s going on. I’m confused, but if you only listened to me.

  —Go away! —She screamed without thinking

  —We have to talk. Don’t react this way… You have to understand me —Susy had blown up with everything. A strange force, unknown to her was dragging her and she couldn’t stop it.

  —Don’t react this way?! —She was furious— How am I supposed to react? Ah! Sorry, my husband tells me that I have been cheated for years and that he is confused and, I just have to sit here and listen to it? Oh, of course, I’m so inconsiderate DAR-LING.

  —Don’t be ironic, Susy. I just want to talk, explain myself.

  —Well, I don’t want to talk. I CAN’T talk. I’m tired of your mind changing every day. I am tire of waiting for a love that you give to somebody else. I’m always waiting for a look of desire… Always waiting for your hugs and to get lost in you… I only wanted to fulfill our lives with those little moments in which you feel that love is real and not a product of daydreaming poets. —She had to breath for a second to stop the tears.— I am going to confess something, “dear husband”, when I met you I was so afraid… my brain couldn’t stop thinking about you. My feelings were so strong that they scared me, but my heart didn’t stop searching for you. When I was with you it felt like destiny, your mouth and your arms were my home. But today you have turned into my pain and my sentence.

  She felt like she was shaking more and more. She couldn’t control her tears and she felt like she couldn’t swallow. Was her husband in fact in love with that woman? This wasn’t like the other times, when he had adventures with other women. Love is something else. How did they reach this situation?

  —How —it left her lips without her being able to control it.

  —What? —Oscar didn’t understand the question. A cloud was covering him. For the first time he couldn’t find a escape from the situation. He had to face the storm without the umbrella.

  —I said how! How did it happen!? —She cleaned he tears with the back of her hands and continued— How, when, were…? Please, Oscar. Why?! —Her legs couldn’t hold her any longer. She fell.

  The floor was cold and her knees ached,
but she didn’t care.

  —Susy! —Her husband screamed trying to hold her.

  —Don’t touch me. Don’t get any way near me. I can’t stand to look at you.

  —I need to explain myself. Fuck, Susy. Things are not black or white. We have been having problems for ages now. We look more like acquaintances than a couple. When was the last time that you touched me? You don’t even… —He couldn’t finish the sentence, Susy wouldn’t let him do it.

  —Don’t you even try saying that this is my fault. I sacrificed everything for you, and all you give me in exchange… is treason.

  —All I ever wanted is to have the woman I fell in love with. The full of life woman I knew. I wanted MY wife, not a cleaning lady, a mother, or a woman wearing sweatpants all day. I wanted…that woman I met in…

  —Don’t you even there to keep talking. Go away! Go away, please… I don’t want to listen to you. —She breath trying to keep talking.— Go away right now.

  —Susy, understand me…I am a man. I need… You know exactly how I am. You know me better than no one. Understand me. I always understood you and supported you with your fears and sufferings and now is your opportunity to…

  —Are you kidding me? Are you threaten me? What YOU did! What YOU need? You and only you,. What you want, what you forgive… You are always the first and last. —Susy’s body was trying to form a ball in the floor, like an animal trying to protect itself. — Go away. I can’t take it anymore —She said weakly— Please…

  —Ok. I’m going. We will talk in another moment. You know you can’t abandon me. We are one. Only I understand you and you understand me. —He walked towards the bedroom,