Leave Me Breathless: The Black Rose Collection

by Dakota Willink

  “You okay, Mia?” I heard my mother’s soft voice break the silence in my room.

  “Hey, Mom,” I replied, sitting up to look at her. “I guess you heard me and Dad arguing?”

  My mom slipped into the room and sat beside me on the bed. Folding her arms across her chest, she nodded thoughtfully.

  “I’d have to be deaf to have missed that. What have you gotten yourself mixed up in this time?” she asked, one eyebrow raised.

  “Don’t ask as though I’m some problem child,” I said, feeling my lower lip pooch out. “You sound like I’m always bringing home a hoodlum.”

  “I kept my doubts to myself at our lunch, encouraged by your enthusiasm that maybe this one was different from your past boyfriends.” I made a face at her, but she continued.

  “You have to admit, you like the misfits, Mia. You always have. I used to swear to your father if you ran across a rabid, mangy stray mutt on the street, you’d adopt it and love it forever.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I asked, cocking my head at her. I didn’t like the direction this conversation was already taking.

  “If it’s wounded or damaged, you want to take it home and fix it. If it’s pretty and dangerous, you want to play with it. If it’s both, then you fall in love with it and want to keep it. I always thought it was your artist’s heart that let you see the good and beautiful in everything, even if it blinds you to the ugly side of life.”

  “I admit I’ve had my share of rotten boyfriends, but associating with known criminals isn’t usually my style,” I replied dryly. “But even if it’s true, I’m having a hard time caring. He’s good to me, Mom. Better than anyone I’ve ever met. For the first time, I have someone who thinks about me, cares about me.”

  She looked at me in frustration. I could tell she was struggling for something to say.

  “How long do you think it could last? You’re my daughter. You have a conscience. How would you stand by, knowing his business involves preying on vulnerable people? God only knows what else he’s involved in. He could even be a murderer.”

  Her words reminded me of Dantes’ mom. He said they’d never found her killer, but what if they had? Dantes admitted he wanted vengeance, and I had no doubt he’d make whoever it was pay with their life. I don’t think that made him a callous murderer, though. Anyone would want revenge.

  “Why do you act like I’m still twelve years old and unable to think for myself? I’m a grown woman, Mom. Maybe he is cartel. So, what?”

  “Aside from the moral aspect,” she said, giving me a condescending look, “have you forgotten your father is the Sheriff? How do you propose to manage a relationship with him and this dirtbag when you know your father will always be trying to put him in jail? Imagine how lovely Christmas dinner will be with them in the same room.”

  “You don’t need to be snide, Mother. He’s not a dirtbag. I don’t expect you to think otherwise since you only have Dad’s word to go by, but I’m going with the innocent until proven guilty theory. I haven’t seen anything outright illegal, and unless or until I do, I’ll judge him on his actions when he’s with me. So far, that’s better than anyone I’ve ever met.” Jumping to my feet, I grabbed my bag.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” my mom asked, following me to the door.

  I was brought up short when my dad blocked me from leaving the room, still wearing his stern, “I’m the boss” look.

  “Phyllis, let me have a word with our daughter. I’ll give her specifics on the investigation into his activities. Maybe then, she’ll listen to reason.”

  I didn’t want to hear another word, whether it was because I wanted to remain in denial or I didn’t honestly care was anyone’s guess. All I knew was they both had said enough. If I was going to learn any real details, I’d go straight to the source.

  “I appreciate your concern for me, both of you,” I said, standing up, hitching my overnight bag higher on my shoulder. “I’ll think about everything you’ve said, but no matter what I decide, it’ll be my decision, not something you told me to do.”

  “Mia, please…” my mom pleaded. “You know what the right thing to do is. I didn’t raise you to run in the streets with the rats.”

  “Would you stop it?” I demanded. “Don’t talk like you know him, and don’t be insulting.”

  “You can’t have it both ways. If you don’t disassociate yourself from Belisario, you’re probably going to go down with him. Just because you’re the Sheriff’s daughter doesn’t mean you’re immune from the law,” my father said threateningly.

  “What the hell? Do you think I’m going to start dealing drugs out of my apartment just because I’m in love with a man you don’t approve of?”

  “I’m just warning you. I’m going to put Dantes and his entire organization out of business. I’d hate for you to get caught up in it, but I’m not going to protect you if you get into trouble.”

  I pushed past him with a look of disgust, only to find Hayley waiting in the hallway. She followed me as I started toward the front door.

  “Look,” she whispered so our parents wouldn’t overhear. “I get it. No matter what he’s into, with you, he’s a good guy. You need to talk to him, though. Find out the real skinny on what he’s involved in, then decide.”

  “Not you, too. Please stop.” I turned, looking down at the floor in exasperation. “Look, I get why you guys would be worried. Drug lord is hardly the desired career path for a potential boyfriend or husband. But what’s worse? A stockbroker or lawyer who’s acceptable on the surface yet abuses me when no one is looking? Because that’s what I’ve had in the past. Dantes protects me—and you too—and practically worships the ground I walk on. Forgive me if I’m willing to overlook his day job. Given who our father is, he could have seized any number of opportunities to make me a puppet, instead, here I am, his princess. Who knows, Hayley, maybe I’m just what he needs to be the good person I know is inside him.”

  “I can’t believe you’d be so naïve, Mia,” she started, but I cut in.

  “After the mess you got yourself into this weekend, the only thing you should be feeling toward Dantes is gratitude for saving your life. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your stupidity, by the way.”

  Hayley grabbed my arm and pulled me into her bedroom, locking the door. Why were people always trying to manhandle me?

  “I know what I did was unforgivable,” she began. “I’m so sorry, Mia. I am grateful to Dantes for not only saving my life but for handling the whole situation discreetly. If Dad ever got wind of it, he’d never let me go back to Princeton. I’d be a prisoner in this house until I was at least thirty.”

  “I really ought to tell them what you did. Maybe you shouldn’t be at school by yourself if these are the kinds of decisions you make,” I said angrily. “They’re so busy criticizing my choice of boyfriend, they don’t know who they really need to be watching over.”

  “You won’t,” she said, her face turning to stone. “You can’t without reinforcing what they already know about Dantes.”

  “That’s exactly why I’m not saying anything, not because I think you just screwed up one time and learned your lesson.”

  “But I did!” she huffed in exasperation.

  “I sure as hell hope so because who’ll rescue you when you’re back in New Jersey?”

  “I’ll never touch another illegal substance, you have my word, Mia.”

  “I swear, if you do and I hear about it, nobody will have to worry about whether Dantes is a murderer. You’ll only have to look as far as me to find one,” I said, warning written all over my face. I unlocked the bedroom door and threw it open. I’d half expected my parents to fall at my feet, having their ears pressed to the door, but the hallway was empty. This time, no one tried to stop me as I walked through the front door and out to my car.

  15

  Dantes

  As I drove away from Mia’s house and the scene with Sheriff Bernard, I banged my pal
m against the steering wheel. Without a doubt, he was warning her away from me at that very moment. I knew he knew of me through Cisneros, but I’d never been sure just how much. The undersheriff always claimed Bernard remained willfully ignorant, not wanting the corruption in his department to be discovered, lest he be run out of office.

  El Tuerto would tell me it was time to press his hand, and the ruthless man in me agreed. Now that he knew I held sway with a vulnerability of his, his daughter, I had leverage. Still, the idea of using Mia like that left a bad taste in my mouth and a sinking feeling in my stomach. If she ever found out, she’d think it was my only motivation for being with her, which had never been the case.

  My cell phone rang, interrupting my thoughts. I looked at the screen on the dashboard, Oscar’s name displaying on the incoming call.

  “What is it now?” I ground out through gritted teeth. I didn’t want to handle any bullshit right now.

  “You’re in a mood,” he replied, the humor in his voice carrying over the connection.

  “I just had a run-in with Bernard. It wasn’t pleasant.”

  “You knew it was never going to be a situation where he opened his arms to you. This is just the opportunity you need, though.”

  “Don’t remind me,” I cut him off. I didn’t want to hear what I already knew. “Why are you calling?”

  “Not to further shit on your day, we have a complication.”

  “Of course, we do. What’s going on?”

  “Your father is here at the club, plastered out of his mind.”

  El Tuerto had brought my father to the states after he’d retired from the National Guard. My dad had served out his usefulness as a trafficker once my mom was killed. Anyone else would have been cast off, especially a man with the problems my father had, but due to El Tuerto’s fatherly attitude toward me, he brought him here, hoping he’d clean up his act. That hadn’t happened. My dad still sought solace in his rum and had become just another burden I had to bear.

  “Coño…” I muttered under my breath, knowing he was probably sloppy drunk. “Is he acting up again?”

  “No, not yet. He’s trying to chat up one of the new girls, though, so I suspect it won’t be long. He was asking for you. He said he had important information you’d want to know.”

  “I’m about ten minutes away. See if you can keep him occupied until I get there. I’ll take him home.”

  “Should I cut off his bar tab?”

  “Only if he starts to get out of hand. I won’t be long,” I replied before ending the call.

  I knew my dad wanted to talk about my mom. The anniversary of her death was coming, and he was consumed with thoughts of vengeance. It happened every year. El Tuerto had promised him retribution on her behalf when he lured him away from Venezuela five years prior. He hadn’t benefited the cartel for a long time, but when he began snooping around, trying to find my mother’s murderer, he stuck his nose into the wrong people’s business. El Tuerto had his remaining contacts in Caracas spirit him away in the middle of the night. Now, he was just pursuing the same death wish by drinking himself into a stupor every day, his passion for anything only rising this time of year. Despite El Tuerto’s promises, the killer was either highly connected or already dead because more than a decade later, there was no new information.

  When I arrived at The Pink Pistol, I bypassed my office and headed straight for the bar. My father was leaning over it, unsteady on his feet as he did his best to flirt with our new bartender, Kaylee. She wore a look of amusement as he winked at her, the fumes on his breath no doubt potent. Her eyes darted to me as I walked up, and I gave her a grateful nod for humoring the old man rather than just telling him to fuck off. She smiled at me as she removed the empty glass in front of him.

  “Another one, bella. Make it a double,” my father slurred as he attempted—and failed—to plant his ass on the barstool next to him. I caught him by the arm just before he landed on the ground.

  “Easy now,” I said softly as I maneuvered him so he could safely take a seat. “You doing okay?”

  “My son! Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over town for you.”

  “I had to see about a young lady,” I replied with a smile, my frustration with him fading as I recalled the man he used to be.

  “Just like your old man, aren’t you? Breaking hearts wherever you go,” he said as Kaylee placed his new drink in front of him. I’d meant to have her cut him off, but he wasn’t in danger of passing out just yet. I’d let him enjoy his last drink while he pretended to be a wise parent.

  “No broken hearts this time,” I said as I settled down next to him, my arm slung over his shoulders to keep him steady. “This is a special woman.”

  “You mean to tell me you might finally settle down, Dantes? Is that even possible?”

  “It’s too soon to tell what’ll happen, but I know there’s something different about her.”

  “If the heart calls to you, you must answer. There is nothing greater in this world than having the love of a beautiful woman,” my father said as he lifted his glass to his lips and took a long sip.

  “She’s young. Innocent. Vulnerable. She doesn’t belong in our world. You’d know if you hadn’t been passed out on Christmas. She was at El Tuerto’s party with me.” Leveling my gaze at him, I once again let him know I disapproved of his constant drinking. Knowing it wouldn’t make any difference, I moved on. “There’s also a small problem. She’s the Sheriff’s daughter.”

  My father clucked his tongue as he looked at me, his eyes bloodshot and rimmed with red, then clapped me on the back.

  “That’s unfortunate, but not impossible. It could even be advantageous.”

  “I refuse to use her to achieve the cartel’s goals. She deserves better than that.” I motioned to Kaylee for a drink of my own.

  “Nobody said you had to. You said she’s special, so just love her. The rest will fall into place, and if it benefits El Tuerto, so much the better.”

  “Did your relationship with my mother benefit the cartel?” I asked bitterly, knowing it was like a punch in his gut.

  “How dare you?” he hissed, spittle flying from his lips before he raised his glass to take another sip. “Your mother was an innocent who suffered for my mistakes.”

  “And how is what you’re suggesting with Mia any better? She’ll get chewed up and spit out for being with me one day, just like Mamá did.” I realized I’d gone too far when my father began to weep, his face crumbling as he rested his forehead in his hand.

  “I never saw it coming, Dantes. I didn’t know…” he sobbed, before dragging his palm over his face, wiping away the tears. “You’re different. You won’t make the same stupid mistakes I did. I got greedy and let it guide my actions. You’re not like that. You can keep Mia safe.”

  “Better to not have her involved in the first place. I don’t want to become a lonely old man, chasing his tail around, trying to avenge her, and drinking himself to death when it all gets to be too overwhelming.”

  “I know I’m a disappointment,” he said softly, the tears forming again. It was time to cut off the rum. I gave Kaylee the signal with a nod of my head. She nodded back, then made her way to the other end of the bar as my father started in again.

  “I miss your mother every day. I didn’t take care of her—protect her—like I should have, and that’s why I lost her. Even so, I’ll never regret loving her or making her mine. Maybe that makes me a selfish cabrón, but I needed her like I needed air to breathe.” He looked at me as he swayed on his stool. “Do you honestly think you can leave your lady alone now that she’s gotten to you?”

  He tapped the bottom of his glass on the bar top, trying to get Kaylee to come back over and give him another. She pretended she was too involved with a new customer to notice.

  “I’ll do whatever needs to be done to keep her safe, even if that means staying away from her,” I said, realizing for the first time I’d never said anything truer in my life.
I didn’t want us to be apart, but if I had to live a life without her in it to know she was safe, I’d do it. It’d wreck me and probably make me more heartless than ever, but if that was my fate, so be it.

  “Then you’ll lead a lonely life, Dantes. I know you don’t want to end up like your old man, but you will anyway if you don’t keep her close.” He hiccupped softly before clapping his hand against my cheek. “Such a good son, even if you haven’t found the asshole who hurt your mother.”

  “I think it’s time to get you home,” I said, not wanting to get into it for the umpteen millionth time. My dad would never let go of the idea of finding the man who killed my mother, no matter how many times I reminded him we were seventeen years and seventeen-hundred miles from the scene of the crime. It was too late, but reminding him would only turn him into a sobbing mess when he was so inebriated.

  He’d nearly passed the threshold for being able to walk on his own, so I helped him to stand and threw his arm over my shoulder. I led him toward the back of the club, where Oscar was speaking with one of the dancers.

  “I’m taking the old man home,” I said, lifting my chin at him. “I’ll be back once I get him settled.”

  “Just head home, Dantes. If anything else comes up, I’ll give you a call, but you’ve earned a day off.”

  “The Desalmados don’t get days off,” I scoffed, before half-walking, half-dragging my father out to my car.

  I was weary once I finally got back to my place. I changed out of my suit, hoping to nap for a bit, but I tossed and turned as my mind raced over the scene with Bernard, my father’s words, and warring over whether to keep Mia close to my side or to leave her to live a life in peace with someone else. She was far too good for me, better than I ever deserved, but she was also my weakness. Could I truly let her go?

  I finally gave up trying to sleep when my phone rang. Picking it up from the bedside table, I saw it was her. My heart thumped once in my chest, followed by a sinking in my stomach. I longed to hear her voice, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer the phone, so I sat there, staring at her name until the ringing stopped. I couldn’t let her be dragged deeper into my world. I tried to console myself with the fact I’d been there for her the night before, helped her through a major crisis, and was able to give her peace of mind for at least one night. I wished I could be that man for her forever, but there was a far greater likelihood I’d end up hurting her in the end. Worse, she’d become a casualty of my lifestyle, just as my mother had been to my father’s.