Leave Me Breathless: The Black Rose Collection

by Dakota Willink

  I poured a bit of rum into a glass tumbler, fully intending to douse the pain in my chest with the alcohol. I didn’t usually drink more than a few fingers of liquor, preferring to keep my wits about me, never knowing when or what I’d be called upon to do. And more than anything, I liked to always be in control. If anything came up tonight, though, Oscar was prepared to handle it. I needed to chase away the inexplicable sorrow I felt.

  How had Mia gotten under my skin so deeply, and so quickly? I knew I wanted her from the moment I laid eyes on her, but I never thought I would feel more than a protective fondness for her or anyone for that matter. My heart had grown cold the day my mother died, so much so, I’d believed it had shriveled up and died. The things I’d done in my life following her death were testament to it. I’d lied, robbed, cheated, and killed, any of which should have damned me to a life colder than the tallest glacier. Yet there I was, nursing something akin to a broken heart simply at the idea of not being able to hold Mia whenever I wanted to.

  One drink turned into three, and before I knew it, I was just as drunk as my old man had been. I thought about calling one of the girls from the club, maybe even Chastity, to come over just so I wouldn’t be alone, but that would have just created a whole new set of problems. Besides, I’d probably feel worse for not being with the only woman I truly wanted. I snorted as I thought I’d have to spend the rest of my life celibate or settle for cheap sex with faceless women.

  I don’t know when I finally passed out on my living room sofa, fully dressed in my suit and tie, haunted by dreams of soft, golden hair and flashing green eyes.

  16

  Mia

  I hung up my phone after trying to call Dantes for the fifty-millionth time. I’d left message after message over the last week, all of which went unreturned. I spent three days locked away from the world, crying my eyes out while I tried to numb the pain under gallons of ice cream. It had gotten so bad, I was literally squeezing chocolate syrup directly into the tub and eating it from there. I had no idea how many containers I’d gone through, but the garbage pail was full of them.

  I wanted to wring my father’s neck. He’d clearly scared Dantes off. I hadn’t believed it was possible, I never thought he’d abandon me, but he was probably into shadier business than I’d considered. The only way I could see my father intimidating him was if he held power over Dantes. Being able to throw him in jail was a mighty big threat. That should have made me feel relieved, he’d obviously decided to rid himself of me—I’d had my share of loser boyfriends, I didn’t need to add someone from the ‘Most Wanted’ list to the mix. My heart cried out nevertheless, bereft at being abandoned.

  I’d fallen headfirst, certain I was irrevocably in love, only to be rejected at the first sign of difficulty. One day, I’d ditch the eternal Pollyanna outlook and realize my soulmate wasn’t out there, waiting to spoil and take care of me, ready to love me with all his heart, and finally accept there was no one I could believe in. I wanted to have someone I could trust so badly, but the world seemed to lack people like that… well, men anyway. What did it matter? My heart already insisted Dantes was the one we needed. I might as well give up and join a convent.

  My temper began to rise without warning. Just who did Dantes think he was? After his fervent declaration, he’d always be here for me, and I could count on him, why would he drop me like a hot rock? Who did he think he was, hurting me like this? I took a huge bite of the chocolate ice cream I’d been spooning into my mouth as I lamented my predicament only to drop the melting glob onto the front of my three-day-old pajamas.

  Dabbing away at the stain, trying to motivate myself to take a shower, just in case a miracle happened, and Dantes turned up at my door to explain, the bell rang.

  I had half a mind to ignore it and pretend I wasn’t home, but I couldn’t on the chance it really was Dantes standing on my porch, heart in his hands, and a good explanation why he’d been silent on his lips. I dashed to the door, flinging it open as my heart pounded with excitement, but rather than Dantes, I found Carmen standing on the other side. Instantly, my sense of self-preservation kicked in. She was another person I’d had faith in, who’d let me down miserably.

  “What are you doing here?” I hissed.

  “I would have called, but I didn’t think you’d pick up. I need to talk to you.”

  Though I didn’t think I could trust her again after she’d endangered my baby sister’s life, Carmen was also my childhood friend. I felt I owed it to her to at least hear her out, even though I couldn’t think of anything that would make me soften my anger at her. I pulled the door open wide and motioned for her to come in.

  “Say what you have to say, then leave,” I said as she made herself at home, sitting on my sofa, getting comfortable.

  “Not until we work this out. I’m sorry, Mia. I never meant any harm to come to anyone. Carolina and I were just having a good time. I wasn’t looking out for anyone, not even myself.”

  “That’s your explanation? You were being selfish?” I said, dropping down onto the armchair next to the sofa. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”

  “But that’s what it was. I don’t have a better excuse. Hayley wanted to have fun, and I was all for keeping the party going. I had no idea Carolina didn’t know what she’d given her.”

  “She’s practically a kid, Carmen!” I huffed in frustration. “It should have been a no-brainer to tell her no.”

  “But she’s not a kid anymore, Mia. You still see her that way and probably always will, but she’s a grown woman.”

  She wasn’t wrong. I’d spent my whole life looking out for Hayley, and her well-being would always come first to me. I still held Carmen accountable, however.

  “Maybe if you weren’t so reckless with your own life, you’d have taken greater care of my sister.”

  “You might be right, but Hayley’s not my responsibility. She’s old enough to make her own decisions. You need to accept that. You should be just as mad at her instead of dumping this all on my shoulders.”

  I hated to admit it to myself, but she had a point. Hayley made a stupid decision that nearly cost her life, yet I blamed Carmen for everything. I settled wearily against the back of the chair.

  “You may be right,” I conceded, tears of frustration springing to my eyes. I felt like I had no one I could count on.

  “If it helps any, I truly am sorry. Sorrier than you can imagine.”

  “I really have a hard time believing that. You stayed to keep partying! Even with someone’s life on the line, all you had on your mind was having fun.”

  “I know, and I’m mortified. Please remember, I was higher than a kite at the time. I wasn’t using my best judgment.”

  “You weren’t just high, you were heartless.”

  “I don’t have a defense for it, Mia. I can only promise to clean up my act. This was a good lesson.”

  My pragmatic side, the side of me that had a hard time trusting anyone, told me not to give in. Carmen was selfish and hedonistic, which had led her straight to this mess, but I’d always known who she was, her motivation in life, which was to have a good time at all costs. Part of me was drawn to her ability to just let go and enjoy herself. Had she really done anything wrong other than be exactly who she was? I needed time to think, but my head was so clouded by my worries over Dantes, I couldn’t focus on anything beyond him leaving me high and dry.

  “I don’t know, Carmen. The fact you stayed while my sister was dying is just too much.”

  “I know. I don’t expect you to throw your arms around me and declare all forgiven. I just wanted you to hear my side. I don’t want to lose twenty years of friendship over this, but I don’t want to minimize what happened, either.”

  I sagged further into the chair. It came down to accepting it was a close call, but everything had worked out okay. Dantes had come to the rescue and Carmen, well she’d always be Carmen. I could accept her apology, but going forward, things would never be th
e same. She was my dad’s best friend’s daughter, though, so we’d be thrown together as much as we always had. At the very least, I could let her smooth this over and proceed with as much caution and skepticism as I approached most relationships with.

  “I believe you’re sorry. You need to apologize to Hayley, too. I won’t tell our fathers what happened, it would only get Hayley into a bigger mess. I have to hope she learned her lesson on her own.” I looked Carmen directly in the eye. “All is not forgiven, not by a long shot, but I’ll do my best to remember you didn’t intentionally hurt her.”

  “That’s all I ask,” she said softly. “If we’re going to put this behind us, why don’t you start by telling me why you look like a homeless person?”

  I flopped back again, my eyes prickling with tears at the reminder I was all alone again.

  “I haven’t heard from Dantes in almost a week. He’s not returning any of my calls.”

  “I don’t understand. What happened?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe me defying him and showing up at the club combined with Hayley’s overdose, he decided I’m too much drama.”

  “I can’t believe that. Sure, he was mad we turned up at The Pink Pistol, but according to Oscar, he blamed me for that, too.”

  “I don’t have an answer since I can’t even get ahold of him to speak to him.”

  “Then we do just what I did to you. We show up again and force the issue.”

  “Oh, no. I’m not going to dig myself a deeper hole, defying him further, on the off chance there’s another reason he’s disappeared.”

  Carmen looked at me thoughtfully, her bottom lip snared between her teeth.

  “I don’t want to worry you unnecessarily, but maybe there is. Maybe something happened to him. You do know what he’s into, don’t you?”

  “I think so. When he took Hayley and me back to my parents’ house, my dad confronted him. He told me he’s cartel.”

  “He is. Do you remember when we were at breakfast, right after you met him, and I told you I’d heard his name before? I overheard my dad talking about him. He’s a lieutenant in the Desalmados Cartel. It’s not exactly the safest lifestyle.”

  “I really didn’t need to think about that,” I said, my mind now spinning in an entirely different direction.

  “My dad was saying there’s a war brewing between the Desalmados and another cartel that’s trying to take over their territory. I don’t want to scare you, but to me, it seems a lot more plausible that something’s gone wrong rather than him just deciding he was done with you. Not with the way he was right there for you when everything went south the other night.”

  I instantly grabbed my phone and tried calling one more time. As usual, my call went to voicemail. I left a message pleading with him to call me and just let me know he was okay.

  “I don’t know what to do, Carmen,” I said, the tears springing to my eyes again, only this time, I imagined Dantes meeting any number of violent ends.

  “There’s only one thing to do—try to find him. Go shower and get dressed. We’ll go to his place first. If he’s not there, we’ll try The Pistol.”

  “Can’t you just call Oscar and find out?”

  “I probably could, but I think you’ll be better off if you see him in the flesh. Once you confirm he’s physically fine, you can kill him for ignoring your calls.”

  That statement struck a different sort of panic in me. What if everything was okay, but Dantes just didn’t want me anymore? Was I ready to face that possibility? I cringed, ready to curl back up into a ball and wait for a call from Dantes that might never come. That was no way to live, not even for a few days. Plucking up my courage and determination, I stood.

  I needed to find out what was going on, whether or not my heart could take it.

  17

  Dantes

  I’d drifted into a fitful sleep until my phone rang. I sighed when I saw El Tuerto’s name pop up on the screen.

  “Muchacho,” he greeted when I answered. “We have business to discuss. I want you and Oscar to meet me at the compound tonight. I’ll send the helicopter at nine.”

  “Claro, Señor. We’ll be ready.” I said, grinding my teeth. I knew what he wanted—he was going to force my hand with Mia. Oscar must have told him what happened with her father.

  Looking at the time, I saw there were only three hours before I’d have to face El Tuerto. Dialing the number for the club, Andy answered after just a few short rings.

  “Hola, Andy. How are things going?”

  “Hey, Dantes. Things are running smoothly around here, for once. We’ve got a good crowd, the alcohol is flowing, and there’s been minimal dancer drama.”

  “Maybe I should stay away more often,” I replied. It figured it’d be quiet the one day I didn’t show my face. “Where’s Oscar?”

  “He’s here. The last time I saw him, he was behind the bar with Kaylee, doing a cash dump. I’ll go find him.”

  While I waited for Oscar to come to the phone, my mind kept running through the possible scenarios for our upcoming meeting. What if I just convinced Mia to stay with me for a little while, then hid her phone? I could pretend she was being held against her will. It was a stupid plan, rife with any number of ways it could backfire. I was stupid for even considering it, but I was feeling desperate. Another sign I should stay far away from Mia, but it was already too late.

  “Dantes.” Oscar’s deep voice carried over the line. “You get the call?”

  “Yeah. El Tuerto is sending the helicopter at nine, so I’ll be by the club shortly. Be ready.”

  “I’m always ready, boss. Do you know what this is about?”

  “Don’t pretend like you don’t know, cabrón. You told him about my run-in with the Sheriff, didn’t you?”

  “I did. It’s time to make a move. Arturo came back with information suggesting the Soldados are planning to intercept the new shipment of Kosareva’s weapons. We can’t let it happen.”

  “We don’t need to involve Mia to take those fuckers down. Besides, it sounds like someone in Kosareva’s operation is feeding information to them. That’s where we need to focus our efforts—exterminating the rata.”

  “Why should we keep using our resources to put out the little fires all the time when we can do it permanently by getting Bernard in our corner? Let him handle that business. Think with your big head, amigo.”

  “Oscar, if Mia ends up hurt by any of this, physical or emotionally, I’ll take your head. Comprendes? You put your nose where it didn’t belong.”

  “I knew you weren’t going to do it,” he spat. “That girl is making you soft.”

  “Careful, hermano,” I said, my voice ominous and full of warning. “I’ll be there at eight.”

  Oscar’s loyalty should belong to me, even if El Tuerto was our capo. We’d been like brothers for years—he should have my back. Now that I knew his fealty was only to El Tuerto, I needed to take control of the situation, pronto.

  El Tuerto’s compound was complete with its own helipad. He didn’t leave his home very often but found having air transportation at hand allowed him to summon anyone in his organization to him in short order, no matter where they were or what time of day. It wasn’t the first time I’d been called to see him at a late hour. I wasn’t sure the man ever slept.

  We were greeted at the front door by his housekeeper, Esther, who quickly ushered us into the library. El Tuerto had a certain fondness for books, though I don’t know if the bright, leather-bound volumes on the shelves were things he enjoyed, or if it was more the enjoyment of displaying them. None looked like they’d ever been touched.

  He was seated at the large walnut desk that sat front and center in the modest-sized room. He was smoking a pungent cigar, the smoke curling about his head before fanning out into the room.

  “Take a seat,” he said, waving toward the high-backed chairs in front of his desk.

  Normally, El Tuerto would draw out a conversation, beginning with meaningless pl
easantries, inquiries about the health of his guests’ families, the weather, and other mundane and unnecessary details. He liked keeping his visitors on edge, and the members of his organization were no different. Today, he got straight to business.

  “Dantes, I hear you had a meeting with Sheriff Bernard last week.”

  “I met him, it wasn’t a meeting. I dropped his daughter off at his house, and he happened to be outside waiting for her.”

  “Regardless, why didn’t you tell me about it immediately?”

  “I didn’t think it was important.”

  “You disappoint me, Dantes. Any opportunity to make a relationship with the Sheriff is important. I’m starting to wonder if you’ve rearranged your priorities.”

  “No, Señor. I won’t deny Mia is one of them, but I remain loyal to the cartel.”

  “Then you’ll do what I need you to do persuade the Sheriff to take a meeting with me?”

  “Just what do you want me to do?”

  “I want you to make Mia unavailable for a time.”

  “I’ll keep her at my penthouse for a week or two,” I suggested, testing the waters. I knew what he was really saying. He wanted me to kidnap her and hold her somewhere under constant guard. After his conversation with her on Christmas Eve, I thought he’d abandoned this idea, but clearly not. Nevertheless, I wasn’t about to let him do this to her.