Head Over Feels

by Scott, S. L.

  My mom says, “Good morning, Tealey. You look like sunshine today. Yellow is your color.”

  Mom’s compliment deepens the pink in Tealey’s cheeks, matching the shade of her lips.

  “Good morning, Rad,” Tealey says, tugging at a strap as if she’s suddenly self-conscious. When she joins me at the buffet, she asks, “How’d you sleep?”

  “Amazing.” I lean down, resting my forearms on the counter next to where she’s standing at the coffee pot. “How’d you sleep?”

  “Like a baby.”

  “That’s what Rad said,” my mom says with a bowl of berries in her hands. “Glad you’re enjoying the getaway.” She holds her finger up. “Tealey, can you do me a favor and try to get Rad to forget about work and relax this weekend?”

  Tealey smirks while I try to hide my amusement. “It would be my pleasure, Amanda.”

  That sly vixen. I whisper, “And mine.”

  “How about I take the berries out back and leave you two to chat?”

  I turn back, worried I wasn’t sneaky enough. “You don’t have to leave, Mom.”

  “I was heading to the back porch anyway.” The door closes behind her, and Tealey and I are alone.

  She leans down, matching my position. I cock an eyebrow, and say, “I have an idea.” With our fingers aligned on the cabinet, I move mine to press against hers. It’s not enough because apparently, now when it comes to her, I want more. I lift my little finger and wrap it over hers.

  Catching a smile on her face, she laughs. “What is your idea?”

  “I know a way you can help me relax.”

  “Does it involve a bed, a locked door, and just the two of us?”

  I lean a little closer, my eyes locked on her lips. “It does.”

  “That—”

  “Why are we up so early on a Saturday?” Jackson bellows as he enters the great room. I pull my hand back to my side and stiffen upright.

  While I move around the island, putting distance between Tealey and me, she replies, “Because a beautiful day beckoned us to enjoy it.”

  Jackson heads straight to the table. “I’m starved.” He glances at us. “Have you guys eaten?”

  “No,” I reply. “Go ahead. Anyone up for a walk on the beach?”

  “Me.” I expected Tealey, but it’s Cammie, coming in from outside, who takes me up on the offer. “I’d love to go. We never get to talk anymore.”

  It’s not like I don’t want to walk with Cammie. She’s great, and I always enjoy spending time with her. I just thought this would go a different way. “It has been a while.”

  “All that champagne and . . .” Tealey eyes me. “Activity last night has me famished. I’m going to make a plate and join your mom on the deck.”

  Cammie grabs a pair of sunglasses from the counter, anchoring them on her head, and then looks at me. “Let’s go.”

  When we start crossing the lawn, Cade cups his hand to the side of his mouth. “Just have her home by curfew, brother.”

  I shoot him the bird.

  “Inappropriate, Radcliffe,” my mom says just before we’re out of range. I chuckle because sometimes it’s fun to push her buttons.

  Stopping to blow him a kiss, Cammie quick steps to catch up with me.

  When we reach the beach, she leaves her shoes on the edge of the lawn before dipping her toes in the sand. I kick mine behind me, and ask, “How’s life treating you?”

  “Good. You?”

  “Good.” She’s a good friend, but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say, so I just start talking. “Actually, every time I open my mouth lately, I seem to get caught up in another person’s plan.”

  Using her hand as a visor, she looks up at me. “You’re spread too thin.”

  “It would help if I could get work under better control.”

  “I’m coming to realize I have no control. My whole life revolves around planning this wedding, so much so that I’ve forgotten how I filled my time before this took over. At this stage, I’ll be lucky if Cade marries me. I’ve become a nightmare to live with.”

  “He loves you. Crazy in love with you. So I’m sure he doesn’t mind. We should all be as lucky as him. He found his soul mate and his much better half.”

  We stop with the wind at our backs and our toes in the water. “Honestly, he’s the better of the two of us. I can’t wait to put this extravaganza behind us and just be married to him.” She looks at me. “Tealey said you’re not working late every night anymore.”

  “Some nights. Whatever I can get away with.” I shove my hands in my pockets, unsure of what I want to share versus what I like keeping private for Tealey and me—like last night.

  She starts walking again, so I do as well. Approaching a large pile of driftwood, we part and walk around it. Hidden from view of the house, she asks, “Can we talk about the secret you’re hiding?”

  My eyes shoot to her. “What secret?”

  At the edge of the ocean, she pushes a log toward the water with her foot. “Tealey told me about you.”

  “She did? When?” Cammie nods. Fuck. “I assumed we weren’t telling anyone this weekend.” Scratching the back of my neck, I redirect my gaze to the horizon. “It just happened.” When I look back at her, I ask, “We haven’t even had time to discuss it.”

  This really surprises me. Cammie’s one of her closest friends, so I understand her sharing secrets, but I’d think that Tealey would talk to me first. Still shocked, I start rambling, “It was one kiss, and then that led to another, and hours later—”

  “Hours later?” She gasps, her eyes going wide. “You kissed Tealey?”

  Locking my lips, I don’t say another word because anything I say could be used to tease me relentlessly.

  “You kissed Tealey for hours last night?” Cammie’s mouth hangs open as she waits for me to answer.

  Distract. Distract. Distract. Shit. I’ve already fucked this up. “What were you talking about?”

  “Oh, no. Too late for that, Rad. The cat is so far out of the bag that it’s down the street.” Stepping up to me, she squints and points her finger at me. “You kissed Tealey. Tell me everything.” Her tough-guy act cracks, and she giggles in delight. “You kissed Tealey.”

  Tealey is going to kill me. “You can’t tell anyone, Cam. Tealey and I agreed to keep everything on the down low until we figure things out.”

  “She must be freaking out.”

  “Why would she freak out?”

  “What do you mean why would she freak out? She’s crushed on you since the day you met. Strawberries. Hard as rock abs. Chocolate eyes.”

  “Chocolate eyes?” Stepping closer, I say, “Never mind. She’s crushed on me since the day we met? She said that?”

  “I’ve had to listen to that story so many times over the years.” She can’t contain her smile. Neither can I because Tealey Bell has been attracted to me as long as I’ve been attracted to her. This affection hasn’t been one-sided. “I always knew you two were meant to be, but I didn’t see it coming just yet.”

  “Neither did I . . . What do you mean by just yet?”

  The water drifts over our feet, and though it’s cold as ice this morning, we don’t move. We just let our feet sink into the sand. Shaking her head at me, she laughs. “You were kissing for hours. Making out like teenagers last night. Apparently, I’m not the one who’s gone crazy.” She pokes me with her elbow. Tealey and Cam are a lot alike that way. “Making up for lost time much? Yeah.”

  Swirling her finger willy-nilly in the air, she adds, “You two are the crazy ones. Crazy for each other. I knew it!”

  “You’ve gone mad with power, Cam. It was a tidbit in a deep well of information. It’s not like we had sex.” She laughs.

  “You can downplay it all you want, but people who don’t want to have sex don’t kiss for hours.” She grabs a stick and draws a big heart in the sand. “Sex is next, my friend, and I cannot wait.” Looking back at me, she says, “That came out wrong. Rest assured, I have no
intention of being there or wanting to see anything regarding you or her or you two together having sex.” She laughs, carving RW loves TB in the center of the heart.

  I should be willing a wave to wash the sand art away, but instead, I’m standing here like an idiot admiring it. Not because it’s particularly clever, but the idea behind it speaks to something deep inside me.

  Cam says, “You really like her.” Not a question or a revelation. There’s no giddy laugh or teasing tone. Her softer joy is still seen in her expression, genuine in her care. She wants the best for Tealey, but I also know she wants what’s best for me as well.

  “I do.”

  Coming over, she bumps me with her hip. “You’re going to make me cry, Rad.”

  “Why?”

  “Happiness. For you and her.”

  “I appreciate that, Cam.” Looking back in the direction of the house, I’m reminded of everyone being there, people I’d normally not care about sharing things with. But I can’t do that just yet when it’s Tealey I’m seeing. Especially not with the Marlow situation still unsettled. “Do you mind keeping this between us? Just give me a little time, give us that time. Tealey seems happy, so I don’t want it ruined before—”

  “Before what?”

  The question plagues me because I don’t have an easy answer. “Before I fuck it up.”

  She throws the stick in the distance and nods. “Love is complicated, but don’t doubt what you know is right.”

  “Love? That’s a little heavy-handed, Cammie.”

  “I’ve waited more than seven years for this day. Don’t ruin it for me.”

  Wry is an understatement when it comes to her grin. I ask, “Don’t ruin it for you?” I roll my eyes. “You’re not the only one who’s waited years.”

  “I won’t tell the others.” She locks her lips with an imaginary key and then tosses it out to sea. “It will stay our secret.”

  “Thanks.” Nodding down the beach, I ask, “Ready to head back?”

  In a matter of weeks, I’ve become the master of deceit. I really need to turn things around. I need to talk to Tealey, and I need to talk to Marlow.

  We pick up our shoes and cross the lawn. Cammie jogs onto the porch and plants her behind on Cade’s lap. I’m not sure where Marlow and my mom has disappeared to, but Jackson scrolls on his phone, oblivious to our return.

  Tealey looks more beautiful than I’ve ever seen her—windblown hair, a strap slipped over her shoulder, and a look in her eyes that tells me she feels as happy as I do inside. She smiles, resting her head back on the rocking chair. “Good walk?”

  Cammie’s phone rings. “Hello?” She plugs her ear and then stands. Pointing at the phone, she tells us, “Sorry. I need to take this. Wedding stuff.” She walks down the steps into the lawn again with Cade by her side.

  “It was,” I say. “Insightful.” It still surprises me that she told Cammie about last night. I chuckle, remembering how I tried to sneak out of Tealey’s room this morning. I don’t feel betrayed. Instead, there’s a sense of certainty that she’s given me. If she told Cammie, that means no regrets are haunting her. I feel the same. No regrets.

  “Walks with Cammie always are.” Tilting her head back, she closes her eyes and soaks up the sun. “She once told me that there’s someone for everyone. It’s only a matter of what you’re willing to compromise.”

  “She thinks you should settle?”

  She opens her eyes and smiles. “Compromise isn’t settling. It’s learning to live with the things you can and knowing what you can’t.”

  Mugs with funny puns—punny—and sarcasm, some even tipping to the vulgar side, come to mind. And I don’t know when it happened or why, but a cabinet full of mismatched mugs doesn’t bother me anymore.

  I find them quite endearing, like Tealey.

  Does that make Cammie right about us? “I always knew you two were meant to be.” Are we meant to be, or is that just wishful thinking on Cammie’s part?

  I like Tealey, but I still think we need to take one step at a time to allow us to sort through the details of our plans and how those plans might need to evolve.

  Jackson sits forward. “I thought I’d get away without anyone noticing, but Nick’s texting.”

  “Nick Christiansen, your brother-in-law?”

  Holding the phone, he says, “We had an account go sideways a few months back. I got it back on track, but we’re left making amends to the client.”

  “You don’t control the stock market,” I say.

  “They sure think we do, though.” He stands and goes inside. Just over Tealey’s shoulder, I watch as he cuts across the great room and goes upstairs.

  I shift my gaze back to the beauty in front of me. Taking her hand, I ask, “Is now a good time to talk?”

  “I’m free. Where should we go?”

  “Follow me.” I get up and hold the door for her. I lead her up the stairs and to my room.

  “This doesn’t seem that private.”

  “It is.” I lock the door behind her, but then I direct her to the door in the corner.

  Her eyes volley between me and the door several times before she says, “You want me to go in there?”

  I open the door for her since worry is pinching her brows together. But then her expression morphs. She dips inside with a huge smile on her face. “You have your own private media room?”

  A black L-shaped couch anchors the space, a remote-controlled screen hangs from the ceiling, and a skylight with a light-blocking shade is large enough to spot constellations on a clear night. “Perks of being an only kid.”

  “It’s amazing.” She walks to the large couch and sits. “Close the door.”

  I light a candle in the corner before I lock out all the light streaming in from the bedroom.

  Lying back on her elbows, Tealey kicks off her shoes and gets more comfortable horizontally. I don’t think she realizes how much she affects me. I brought her up here in hopes of talking about last night, but seeing her lying there with her skirt bunched around her thighs and that distracting strap refusing to stay put, talking is the last thing I want to do with her. She pats the cushion and says, “Will you lie with me, Rad?”

  I sit beside her and run my hand along her cheek. I follow the line of her cheekbone with kisses and then stop on her forehead, savoring that I get to do this. Her hands run up the backs of my arms and then higher, her grip tightening and pulling me closer.

  She must know that I want her desperately. But it will be more than just sex for me. I look into her eyes, knowing she was always more than a crush. I’ve never shared this level of connection with anyone before. Leaning down, I kiss her once more before lying down beside her on the couch. “I plan to do more than lie.”

  With our bodies aligned, I’m gentle in touch, though I want to do so much more. I run my hand along the curve of her breast and dip into the valley of her waist. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer, kissing my face, and then whispering, “If you’re worried, I’m not breakable.”

  The words have me pausing with my eyes closed and forehead tipped to hers. The gravity of what we’re doing weighs down on my shoulders. Not because I don’t want it—

  because fuck, she’s a goddess—but I don’t want to fuck it up. Tealey’s not just a hookup or a late-night date.

  “No, but we don’t have much time, and you deserve more than quick sex in a game room.”

  “I’m okay with it. Trust me, Rad. I want it.” At least I know I’m not alone in my desire. She tilts her head, and her hair splays across the cushion—the light and dark in contrast.

  Smiling, I kiss the tip of her nose. When her arms tighten around my neck, she kisses me again, and whispers, “Let’s make the most of the time we have.”

  She’s right.

  I don’t have time to make love to her like I want, but I won’t miss the chance to make her mine.

  24

  Tealey

  I broke my promise.

 
How could I not ravage him, though?

  The man is undeniably sexy.

  Dipping my fingertips under the band of Rad’s shorts, I run them over the muscles of his lower back and then deeper, covering that sexy incline of his ass. Rad is the perfect male specimen. I’ve earned an advanced degree in his anatomy after so many mornings were spent studying him wearing those towels.

  It’s as if he knew I’d break, considering that was the promise laid on the table. Bed, in our case.

  I love the way he feels lying on top of me, the slow grind that makes me want to combust, and the goose bumps he shatters across my skin with each kiss he places with care on my body.

  But that’s just it. I don’t want him to place gentle kisses with care. My body is winning this battle over my head, and as I start to ravage him, I want to be ravaged right back.

  Up two inches, Rad. Just do it. Touch me like I want you to. His hands have roamed from my hips to my ribs where he’s tentatively holding me like I’ll wriggle away. I won’t. “Rad?”

  “Hmm?” he hums with his lips pressed to my neck.

  “You can touch me.”

  Popping his head up, he looks into my eyes. “I am touching you.”

  “Like more touching me.”

  His brows lower, and he asks, “More touching you?”

  I want more. My body wants everything I’m one-hundred-percent sure he can give. I grab his hand and place it on my boob.

  “We can start here.”

  “Ah.” He starts to laugh, not even trying to hide his amusement. “And here I was, struggling to figure out my next move and how far you wanted this to go.”

  “Mystery solved. Now back to our previously scheduled program.” I wrap my arms tighter around his neck, bringing him back to where he left off.

  But he pops up again, his eyes set on mine with a spark of determination. “You know I want to touch you everywhere, but I thought you’d want me taking time in the foreplay part of the program versus jumping to the post-game celebration.”