Trust Me

by Isabel Jolie

  Olivia strolls in ahead of me and stops in front of the large window overlooking the Hudson. The sun has started to set, casting golden shades of yellow all along the horizon. I walk up behind her but keep my distance, watching her, memorizing her curves.

  “Thanks for coming back, man. I’m heading over to his place now. Want to meet me?” Ollie asks.

  “What are you gonna do?”

  “I reached the super. He’s gonna let me into the apartment.” That’s good. Somehow, having the super let us in feels less intrusive than involving cops. Ollie’s probably overreacting. Chances are, Jason is fine. Has his cell off. But I’d never forgive myself if I’m wrong and Ollie’s right.

  After I hang up, I slide my phone into my jeans pocket. I wrap my arms around Olivia, pulling her back against me. I lean down and breathe her in. She calms me. Holding her settles me. She fills a void in my life I hadn’t quite recognized. I slide her hair out of the way and place a kiss below her earlobe, a place I’ve discovered she loves to be kissed. A quiet moan escapes. No part of me wants to leave her.

  “Are you going to be okay here?” I know she will but want to ask.

  She turns in my arms and tilts her head up. Kisses my chin, then my lips. “I’m gonna be fine. Go on. Some of my textbooks are on Kindle. I’ll catch up on reading.”

  “And you’ll be here when I’m back.” It’s a question, but I make it a statement.

  I kiss her again then force myself to leave.

  When I get out of the car in front of Jason’s apartment, I see Ollie talking to a guy in jeans and a black t-shirt. Ollie waves me over and introduces me to Scott, Jason’s building supervisor. It turns out he lives in the building, so it’s easy enough for him to let us in.

  Jason lives in a fourth-floor walk-up. Scott pushes the door open and stands in the doorway as we walk around, calling out Jason’s name. Everything looks in order. His bed’s unmade. His cell phone rests on the bedside table, charging, so that explains why he hasn’t answered it.

  I leave the bedroom and turn to check out the kitchen. The fridge hasn’t been cleaned in a while, judging by greasy spills on the shelves, but it’s mostly empty. I spin around the kitchen while Ollie pulls open drawers in the credenza below the TV.

  The place looks like a single guy’s apartment. It’s not spotless, but there’s nothing to indicate he’s depressed. Of course, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be looking for. I know Ollie’s biggest fear was that Jason was in here and had hurt himself, and that’s not the case. Jason’s nowhere to be found.

  I’m about to suggest we leave when I hear Jason’s voice talking to Scott. “Scott? What’s going on?” He sounds confused, and I’m sure he is.

  Ollie shouts, “Jason! There you are. What the fuck? Why haven’t you returned any of my calls?”

  Jason steps into his apartment and stands facing Ollie, his back to me.

  “Returned your…? What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” Jason grunts. I’ve never heard him sound so pissed off.

  I can tell from Ollie’s reaction that Jason’s anger has him off guard. “Man, I’ve been trying to reach you for days. You wouldn’t answer your door last night. Or today. I was worried, okay?” Ollie says defensively.

  Jason rubs his forehead then points to the door. “Get the fuck out.”

  Ollie takes a step forward. “Man. It’s not like you to not return my calls. I got scared. Okay?”

  Jason lifts his head. “I’m not an invalid. What the fuck did you think? Get out. Go.” He sounds broken. His hands are balled into fists, and his cheeks are blazing crimson.

  I walk around the kitchen island to head out. It’s clear Jason doesn’t want us here. He’s okay. I don’t know what’s going on, but he doesn’t seem to be in the frame of mind to have a heart to heart.

  My movement catches Jason’s attention, and he turns. His eyes glisten. “You too? You’re supposed to be in…” He stops speaking and glares at me. “You know what? I don’t even want to know. Both of you, get the fuck out of my apartment. Now.”

  Jason walks down the hall to his bedroom and slams the door.

  Scott mutters something I don’t catch, but it’s clear from the way he’s holding the door he’s expecting us to leave. Head down, Ollie walks out into the hall. I follow, and Scott closes the door behind us.

  Scott shakes his head with a somber expression. “Don’t ask me to do that again.”

  * * *

  I push my apartment door open and kick off my boots by the door. Olivia appears at the end of the hallway. She leans against the wall, studying me. “How’d it go?”

  It feels damn good to have her here, waiting for me. I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me. Like a salve to a burn, she provides instant relief. “I know something’s wrong, but Jason’s not up for talking about it.” Bright blue eyes take me in, and I inhale, breathing in her scent. It’s a combination of mint and floral I’m becoming addicted to.

  “Do you think he’s suicidal? That’s what Ollie was worried about, right?”

  “Yeah, I guess. I agree with Ollie that something’s not right. He probably does need some sort of therapist, but no, I don’t think he’s suicidal. It’s not that serious.”

  “What made you think it might be that serious?”

  “Not me. Ollie. Something happened with one of his friends back in high school. I’d gone off to college, so I didn’t live it. I agree Jason’s going through some heavy stuff right now. I’m not sure it’s depression, though.” I squint, peering over Olivia’s head at the gas fireplace she’s turned on. Jason’s okay, but I still have a sinking feeling something’s not right.

  I tilt Olivia’s head up to me. “Hey, thanks for being willing to adjust our plans.” I place a soft kiss on her lips. “Thanks for being here.” Her being here, greeting me when I come in the door, it feels right.

  She leads me to one of the bar stools near my kitchen island. “I have a casserole in the oven and made us a salad. I also have some cheese and crackers we can munch on while we wait for the casserole.”

  She’s poured two glasses of wine and leans over the island to hand me mine. Then she turns to put together the cheese plate. She’s at ease in my kitchen. Barefoot, in jeans, and a form-fitting black sweater that hits right at her waist. Her dark hair sways as she moves around.

  I feel torn, because I want everything right now. I want to take her on the kitchen counter. I want to watch her fix our dinner in my kitchen, but I want it to be our kitchen. I want to sit and talk with her over wine. How quick is too fast? How long do we have to date before I can ask her to move in with me? Because at that moment, I know. This is it for me. I want her by my side for good.

  Chapter 23

  Olivia

  Sam’s hand cocoons mine as we walk along 20th Street to meet his parents. He can’t seem to stop touching me, and I love it.

  The gold lettering on the Cookshop window catches my eye. As we approach, Sam pulls me to him and kisses me. At first, it’s a soft kiss, but it builds until our tongues dance, and I forget we’re standing on a sidewalk. “What was that for?” I ask, a full smile on my face.

  “To thank you for meeting my family. And to remind you that you have nothing to be nervous about.” He places another quick kiss on my lips, then my forehead, then leads me into the warm restaurant.

  The combination of yellow walls and plants create a warm ambience. We could be in someone’s kitchen instead of a packed restaurant. Potted rosemary plants line an entire half wall.

  We’re not even to the hostess stand before a woman with shoulder length blonde hair has Sam wrapped in her arms. She kisses his cheeks and beams up at him with a warm smile. Then she turns and pulls me in for an all-encompassing hug. My arms fall by my side, frozen.

  “Mom, meet Olivia.” He’s grinning as watches his mom engulf me. I lift my arms to sort of hug her back because she still hasn’t let me go.

  Once she sets me free, she stands back and appraises me. I
feel a bit like a dog at the Westminster dog show. “It is so nice to meet you, Olivia. When Sam said he’s dating someone, well…” She trails off as she grabs my hand and pulls me back to the table.

  “Sam and Ollie, this is Olivia.”

  An older gentleman that looks a lot like Sam, with less hair, sits in the corner and holds his hand out.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Duke,” I say as we shake hands.

  Ollie, a taller, thinner version of Sam, grins while I meet the eldest Mr. Duke.

  “Call me Sam, dear. And my wife, you can call her Patty.”

  “Well, it’s nice to meet you both.”

  Ollie slides out of the booth and bends down to give me a welcoming embrace. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sam tap Ollie on the shoulder. “Enough. Get your own girlfriend.”

  Everyone at the table laughs as I slide into the booth. Ollie takes the chair that’s up against the table, and Sam slides in next to me.

  Ollie kicks the chair back a bit, so the two front legs are in the air. A part of me wants to tell him not to do that, that it’s dangerous because he could fall backward, but I refrain. Patty’s at the table. She can play mom if she wishes.

  “Girlfriend, huh? When was the last time I heard those words come out of your mouth?” Ollie asks, grinning ear to ear.

  Sam wraps a protective arm around my shoulder. “Lay off.” He leans over, pretending to be whispering in my ear as he loudly confides in me, “This guy over here’s just jealous. He’s always got a girl, and I never do. He’s feeling a little sore the tables have turned.”

  A chair leg scrapes the floor, and Sam lets out a quick “Ow” while he swats at Ollie. Both of them laugh loudly, causing the diners nearest us to look over at the commotion.

  Patty admonishes them with a stern, “Boys, stop that, now. We are in a restaurant.” She sounds serious, but she’s wearing a beautiful smile, and her blue eyes shine. Hers are the same dusky-blue as Sam’s.

  After we order, Patty sips her coffee then asks, “What’s going on with Jason?”

  Ollie and Sam stare at each other for a minute. Sam speaks up. “Not much to say. Something’s wrong, for sure. But he’s not ready to talk about it.”

  “Well, I think I know what it is.” Patty sets her coffee down, her gaze flitting between her sons.

  Sam angles his head and asks, “What do you think it is, Mom?” He sounds somewhat amused, like he’s expecting her to tell him something that’s going to humor him. I want to pinch him and tell him to take his mother seriously.

  She doesn’t seem to notice his smirk or attitude. “I think he’s got a broken heart.” Ollie laughs out loud at this, and I notice that Sam Sr. rolls his eyes but remains silent. She continues. “No, mark my words, I’m right about this.”

  Sam huffs. “Well, he’s more than a mite pissed at us right now. Given we broke into his house yesterday, can’t say I blame him. I’m guessing it’ll take some time before he opens up to us if that’s it.”

  Sam Sr. leans over and kisses his wife’s head. “Always a romantic.”

  Patty disregards him. She turns her attention to me. “Honey, tell me about yourself. We don’t need to be hashing out what’s going on with the boys. I want to get to know you.”

  She reminds me a bit of the actress who played June on Leave It To Beaver. Or at least the way I imagine that character would behave had I ever watched an episode. She’s direct, warm, and kind. I have no idea what to say to her, though. Everyone at the table watches me. I decide to go with the kind of introduction I’d give in a new class in business school. “I’m from Connecticut, and I’m currently attending Columbia’s business school.”

  “Oh,” she responds enthusiastically. “Are you in undergrad or grad?”

  “Jesus, Mom, if you want to know her age, just ask her.” He’s smirking as he pulls me closer to him in the booth so our legs touch.

  She smiles at him. Then gives me a timid smile, like yes, she does want to know my age, but doesn’t think she should actually ask me that question. I half laugh at both her being uncomfortable about asking me and her curiosity. “I’m twenty-seven. I’m pursuing my MBA. I had a career in advertising, and I’m using the program to change, or alter, my career path.” My explanation is a bit formal, but it’s the easiest and most efficient, and for heaven’s sake, meeting the family is a bit like a job interview.

  She beams a smile at Sam. “Intelligent and beautiful. You’ve done well, Sam.”

  He laughs out loud, as does Ollie. I kind of want to shrink below the table as I once again feel like a show pony.

  Ollie says, “Don’t worry, Olivia. That’s about the worst of the evaluation you’re gonna get. I’ve been working on training her for years.”

  Patty opens her mouth and slaps his knee. “You have not been training me. I’m not doing anything. I’m just trying to tell Sam that I approve. He’s always been very picky, and I think he’s done well selecting her. I like her.”

  Ollie’s eyebrows raise almost up to his hairline. “Jeez, Mom. She’s not a piece of fruit.” All three men laugh.

  I catch Patty’s eye. “It’s okay. I understand what you’re trying to say. Thank you.” Sam leans over and kisses my forehead.

  Ollie taps the table and with a wide smile says, “Okay. It’s time we segue into funny Sam stories.”

  Sam guffaws. “There are no funny stories about me. All the funny stories are about you.”

  “That’s not true! You got in trouble some. Maybe not as much as me, but some,” Ollie retorts.

  I’m grinning now. “Oh, share some stories, Ollie.”

  He rubs his chin as if he’s trying to decide which family story to share. “Well, there was this one time, he got in so much trouble. I wanted him to take me to Taco Bell. I was a little stoned. Needed me some Taco Bell. He completely refused to take me.”

  Sam breaks in. “How is that me getting in trouble?”

  “Because I had to steal Mom’s car to get to Taco Bell! I was grounded for months.”

  Sam turns to me. “Do you hear this? He’s stoned at fifteen and blames me when he gets in trouble. That’s what I lived with my whole life.”

  Ollie has a huge smile on his face. “I’m just saying. A good brother would’ve pulled an assist and taken my ass to Taco Bell!” Ollie shakes his head. “Not this guy here. He may be right. He’s always been a studious do-gooder. Always the parent pleaser.”

  Sam Sr. clears his throat. “Would have done you wonders if you’d watched and learned.”

  Patty turns a mock angry face to Ollie and playfully pops his head with her palm. “Your brother is not the reason you got in trouble, young man.”

  Everyone laughs. The warmth and love between this family can’t be missed. They continue to laugh and joke with each other as they reminisce. It’s a camaraderie I’ve never experienced in my life. I don’t have one memory of my family ever sitting around a table, happy, joking, and laughing. Even my meals with my uncle are serious and more akin to a business dinner. I settle back into the booth, held tight next to Sam, and soak in the love.

  After brunch, we stand on the sidewalk saying our goodbyes. Sam’s parents are returning to Texas this afternoon. They don’t say it, but I suspect they flew here this weekend in case Jason needed them. Ollie’s going to be staying in town for the rest of the week. Right now, he’s heading to meet some friends at a sports bar to watch the Longhorns game.

  Patty pulls me aside away from the men and holds both my hands. “Now, listen, I want you to know. I like you. But if you bring my boy home to Texas, I’ll love you.” Before I can respond, Sam has his arm around her shoulders, and he’s pulling her away.

  “Mom, you’re gonna love her no matter where we choose to live.” He winks at me, and his smile’s so deep, both dimples show. My stomach flips and flutters. Damn. He has no idea what he is doing to me. I can’t believe he just said that to his mom.

  His mom winks at me. It’s the same wink Sam just gave me. Gues
s I know where he got it from.

  As Sam turns to give his dad a hug, his mom grabs my hand. She dramatically mouths “Texas” then gives Sam an innocent look when he turns around. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more welcomed in my whole life.

  I can’t help but wonder if they are like this with all his girlfriends. It’s hard to believe the tabloids have it all wrong and he doesn’t date a lot, but I can buy he might not bring many women around his family. As much as I like his family, and as good as it feels to spend time with Sam, I cannot let this go to my head. Our relationship is new. Newness means uncertainty. I’ve been down this path before. Almost moved in with someone. There are no guarantees in relationships. This much I know.

  * * *

  Saturday morning, I push the door to Balthazar open. The restaurant is packed, and a couple of people stand waiting in front of the hostess stand. I brush past the crowd to find my crew. It’s been two weeks since we’ve had a girls’ brunch. I’ve been immersed in new boyfriend world, but I’ve missed my girls. As I slide around the dark wood hostess stand, Delilah jumps up, energetically waving.

  Anna greets me with her customary, “Hey, you!” and pulls me into a hug. “We are dying to hear about your surprise weekend!”

  Lindsey mumbles something I can’t hear. She’s twirling the olives in her Bloody Mary with an annoyed expression. I grimace, guilt hitting me. She texted me several times, asking to meet up. But I’ve been kind of in my own little bubble. I’ve stayed at Sam’s every night since we returned from Montreal. Sam acts like I’ve moved in, but I haven’t.

  I sit. The girls have already ordered my standard Champagne Pick Me Up. As I sip it, all three of my girlfriends stare me down, awaiting details with glee. I take a larger swallow, not sure where to start.

  Anna breaks in. “So, how was Montreal?”

  “Good.”

  Delilah squeals and tucks both hands under her chin and waits for more.

  I wrinkle my nose. Somehow, saying all this out loud makes it real and makes me nervous. I can’t shake the feeling that it’s all going to fall apart. It’s been too perfect. Live in the moment is my mantra getting me through my days right now. A life without risks isn’t living. I breathe deeply and share.