Losing the Forbidden: Forbidden Series #2

by Lorraine, Tracy

  I hold her stare for a few seconds, so she knows just how unhappy I am about this before I look up.

  I find him staring down at me with pure hatred pouring from his eyes. I take a step forward, ready to do whatever it takes to show this douchebag that he has something that belongs to me.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Lauren seethes, jumping between us.

  I stop millimetres from her body. Her heat seeps into me. It’s almost enough to make me forget about the man who thinks she’s his. Mum was right last night. Lauren still cares, so everything is still to play for.

  It’s not until her hands land on my chest that I pull my eyes from her boyfriend. My lip curls at just the thought alone.

  “Step away, Ben,” she warns. With her shoes on, she’s much taller than usual. It wouldn’t take much for me to lean down and take her lips right now. The idea has my mouth watering for another taste of her.

  Narrowing my eyes, I can’t stop the words falling from my lips. “You know you want me to fight for you. I can sense it.” Lowering my head to her ear, I whisper, “I can smell it. He doesn’t make you scream like I do, and you fucking know it.”

  Her hand connects with my cheek, and it stings like a motherfucker. Pressing my palm to my burning skin, I look down at her. Her eyes are alight with anger and her chests heaves as she stares back at me.

  “I fucking hate you,” she spits.

  “No, baby. You just hate that I’m not fucking you.”

  “That’s enough, Ben,” Erica shouts, grabbing my arm and trying to turn me away to stop me saying anything else.

  “It’s nowhere fucking near enough. He needs to realise she’s mine before I make him regret ever touching her.”

  “Whoa, calm down, caveman. I know I told you to fight for her, but that wasn’t quite what I meant.”

  I’m ushered over towards the bar and a glass of whiskey appears in front of me.

  When I look up, I’m met by the concerned looks of my best friends. I don’t need to meet their eyes to know I just fucked up.

  “Are you going to play nice, or do I have to send you home?” Erica asks with a hard stare and her hands on her hips.

  “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

  I can tell none of them believe me. Hell, I’m not sure I believe me, but I’m not walking out of here and leaving them to grind it up on the dance floor without a care in the world.

  Downing my drink, I grab Erica’s hand and pull her into the crowd. Lauren and that prick aren’t the only ones who’ve got moves.

  I know everyone’s watching as I twist Erica around in front of me, but there’s only one set of eyes that are burning hatred into me.

  Erica’s body is stiff when I force her against my chest and start dancing. “What the hell are you doing? If you want to make her jealous, using me probably isn’t the best idea.”

  “You’re right.” Pushing her away, I glance around. It doesn’t take long before I find a woman watching me. She’s not my type in any way, but right now, that’s the last thing that matters. I pull her stick thin body against mine and together we move in time with the music.

  She’s clearly drunk and more than willing. Guilt starts to eat at me that I’m taking advantage of her, but I tell myself that I have no intention of doing anything more than dance.

  I pin her hips against mine and she moves easily with me. The others join me and lose themselves with their other halves. Joe pulls Lauren to the edge of our group and my teeth grind as I watch his hands run down her back until they land on her arse.

  My fingers squeeze the woman pressed up against me and it gives her the wrong idea. Her hand slides up my chest and wraps around the back of my neck.

  My eyes stay on Lauren as the woman presses her lips to mine. It takes a second or two, but the moment she notices, she stops moving. Joe stares down at her before following her eye line and also finding me.

  He turns back to her, and I do the same, but it’s too late. She’s already gone.

  Forcing the woman pressed against me away, I rush in the direction where Lauren disappeared.

  “I don’t think so.” I’m toe-to-toe with Joe. We’re a similar height and build, but I’m confident I could take him if need be. He looks like a fucking IT geek with his black-rimmed glasses and slicked back hair after all.

  “What the fuck do you know about anything?”

  “More than you fucking know. You’ve already caused her enough pain, don’t you think?” he asks, but I’ve already pushed him away in my need to get to her. “Let her go, Ben. It’s too late.”

  I hear other calls from behind me, but I pay them no attention.

  Racing down the stairs, I search for her, but there’s no sign of her blonde hair or red dress.

  “Go in the toilets and find her,” I demand when Erica follows me.

  “She’s gone, Ben. Come back and get a drink?” Hope fills her eyes that tonight might not be a total bust, but it’s too late. The damage has already been done.

  “I’m going home. Give this to the others for a taxi later.”

  She shoves the handful of cash back at me and turns away without saying anything. Great, I’ve pissed someone else off.

  I don’t manage to get a taxi before the others come rushing from the club.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Liam shouts as he walks over. He doesn’t stop until he’s right in my face. “You want to fight? You want to hit someone? Come on, then. Take what you need.”

  “I’m not going to fucking hit you.”

  “Why not?”

  “You haven’t done anything to deserve it.”

  “And he has?”

  He stumbles back when I push his shoulders, but Dec manages to catch him before he hits the pavement.

  “Fuck you. FUCK YOU!” I bellow at no one in particular. Running my hands over my face, I rest them on my head and look up to the dark, cloud filled sky. It’s angry, like there could be a storm any moment.

  I suck in a few breaths in the hope of calming my racing heart and raging temper.

  When I finally get a hold of myself and turn to the others, they’re standing on the pavement, looking totally lost. Guilt engulfs me. They came here to try to cheer me up, and this is what I subject them to.

  I’m a joke.

  My life is a fucking joke.

  “Come on. Let’s get you home,” Liv says softly, lacing her fingers with mine and pulling me towards a taxi idling at the curb.

  Chapter Eleven

  “How are you feeling? Your friends said you had a bit of an eventful night,” Mum says when I eventually drag my hungover arse into the kitchen sometime after lunch the next day.

  “Like shit.”

  “Sit down, I’ll get you a coffee. The others have gone into the city for the day. They didn’t want to disturb you.”

  I watch as Mum faffs about. She looks better again today. I’m hoping that finding out the truth, although painful, has done her some good.

  “Here. Chris is coming around in a little bit with Nick’s will. Lauren’s coming too.” Dread sits heavily in my stomach. I was such a dick to her in the club. Mum must be able to read my thoughts, because after regarding me for a few seconds, she asks, “What did you do?”

  “I wasn’t very nice to her last night. She was at the club with Joe and—”

  “Oh. I think you and Joe would get on, you know. You’re really quite similar.”

  “Yeah, it seems we have similar tastes,” I mutter.

  Mum bites down on her bottom lip and considers her next words carefully. “Not all that similar,” she says eventually. I don’t get a chance to question what she means, because the doorbell rings.

  Mum gets up, stops at the mirror in the hallway to smooth down her hair, and answers the door.

  Chris’ deep voice filters down to me along with Mum’s laughter. The sound warms my heart.

  “Afternoon, Ben,” Chris calls as he enters the room, and I wince. “Good night?”

  �
�Something like that,” I mutter, regretting the amount of whiskey I consumed before finally crashing out.

  “We’re just waiting for Lauren and then we can get to it. What’s that look for?” Mum asks Chris when concern washes over his face.

  “It’s just…not what I was expecting.”

  Mum swallows before turning to make Chris a coffee. “Whatever it is, we can deal with it, Chris. He didn’t break us when he was alive, and he sure won’t do it when he’s dead.”

  It’s the first time I’ve ever heard Mum say anything less than positive about her late husband. Maybe she was right with what she said the other day, and she was more aware of his ways than she let on.

  Mum’s just put Chris’ coffee down when the sound of the front door slamming echoes through the house.

  I hold my breath as her footsteps echo down the hallway. It all comes out in a rush when she finally appears in the doorway. She’s wearing a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized hoodie, her hair’s pulled back from her make-up free, tired face, but it’s her eyes that make my body ache to get up. Her usual light-blue is dark and rimmed with redness that only comes from hours of crying.

  My fingers grip the bottom of the chair to keep me in place. She’s staring daggers at me. Getting up and giving her a hug is the last thing she wants right now.

  “Good afternoon, sweetheart. Would you like tea?”

  “Please.”

  “Take a seat. I’ll be right with you all.”

  Lauren takes the farthest seat away from me and I almost laugh. If she thinks that’s going to keep me away, she’s got another think coming.

  The wood of my chair legs screeches against the tiled floor. Her eyes fly up to me and hold a warning—one I’m about to ignore.

  She tenses as I pull a chair out next to her and drop down. Resting my arm over her backrest, she sits bolt upright so we don’t touch.

  Leaning forward so Mum and Chris can’t eavesdrop, I whisper in her ear, “I’m sorry about last night. It was uncalled for. It taught me something though.” Turning to me, she narrows her eyes in question. “You still want me.”

  Standing, she goes to leave, but I’m faster. Wrapping my hand around her forearm, I hold her in place.

  “Ben? Lauren? Is everything okay?”

  “Please can we just get this over with?”

  “Sure. Chris, are you ready?”

  “Yes,” he says hesitantly.

  After ripping her arm from my grasp, Lauren sits back down beside me, folds her arms over her chest and waits for what Chris has to say.

  He talks through all the waffle and formalities. He seems to really drag out the inevitable, that Mum will get everything. I assume he’s left something for Lauren, but why Chris can’t just come out and say it is beyond me.

  “So, Nick has requested that in the case of his passing, this house and the business are left to…Ben.”

  “What?” both Lauren and I say at the same time.

  “He’s left everything to the man who walked away when things got too hard? What the fuck?” Anger vibrates from her as she stands. “What about Jenny and me?”

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Ben is the only person named.”

  “This is bullshit.” We all stare at her as she turns on her heel and storms from the room, and soon after, the house.

  “Well, that went well,” Chris mutters sadly.

  “He really left everything to Ben?” Mum asks, her face twisted in confusion. It’s in that moment that realisation hits.

  “Well, he wouldn’t leave that kind of disaster to someone he actually likes, would he?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The business is about to go under, and this place has been re-mortgaged to the hilt. It’s clearly his idea of a sick joke. He’s left all his debt and dirty dealings for me to attempt to sort out.”

  “What are you talking about? The business is doing fine. Lauren does the accounts; she would have said if something was wrong.”

  “I don’t think it’s that simple, Mum. He’s been cooking the books along with fuck knows what else.”

  “How do you know this?”

  “I don’t know the details, but he’s been using Erica to hide what he’s been up to.”

  “Motherfucker,” Chris grunts.

  Mum just sits there in total shock. “Am I going to lose the house?” she asks eventually. I expect her to break down, but there’s no emotion.

  “Not if I have anything to do with it. Is that it, Chris?”

  “For now, yes. We’ll need to sort out paperwork soon though.”

  “Okay, well, you’ve got my number.” Draining my coffee, I stand from the table and head in the direction Lauren went not so long ago. My hangover is suddenly forgotten. I’ve got more important things to worry about, like keeping a roof over Mum’s head.

  The anger that had erupted within me at learning what that motherfucker had left me is raging by the time I pull up outside Johnson & Son’s office.

  My granddad started the business from his spare bedroom. It was my dad who moved everything here. He started with just a small corner of the floor, but as the business grew, so did the office space. We now take up the entire second floor of the building—although, I doubt that’s going to continue, depending on what I find when I start digging into my inheritance.

  The crisp early autumn air chills my skin as I walk the short distance from where I manage to find a parking space to the office building.

  I’m expecting it to be empty seeing as it’s a Sunday, so I’m surprised when I push the door open and find the lights on.

  “I just don’t get it. Dad hated Ben—why would he leave it all to him?” The sound of her soft, emotional voice has goosebumps erupting across my skin. There’s so much she doesn’t know. So much that prick hid from her.

  Pushing the door open wider, I walk towards them, ready to get everything out in the open.

  I’m not surprised to see it’s Erica she’s talking to. Lauren’s leaning back against her desk, totally oblivious that they have company. Erica, on the other hand, spots me immediately over Lauren’s shoulder. Her eyes widen in surprise.

  “I just don’t understand why he’d do this to Jenny.”

  “Lauren…I…” Erica stutters, her eyes still on me.

  “We need to explain a few things to you.” Lauren’s body visibly tenses as my voice fills the space around us.

  “We?” Erica asks, fear draining the colour from her face.

  “Yes, Erica. It’s time.”

  “I don’t want to listen to anything you have to say,” she spits.

  “Tough. You need to hear it.” It’s only the harsh tone of my voice that has her turning to look at me.

  Her face is even paler than it was when I first saw her earlier, her eyes redder and now bloodshot from the tears she’s shed. Guilt clenches my stomach that I’ve had a hand in her pain.

  “You lost any right you might have had to tell me what to do the moment you decided to walk out of my life.” She pushes away from Erica’s desk and steps a little closer to me. My body reacts to her as it always does when we’re in touching distance.

  “That’s just it though, Lauren. The only place I wanted to be that night was in bed with you. The only thing I’ve ever wanted is you.”

  “You had me, Ben. I gave you everything and you just stomped all over it.”

  “I didn’t have any other choice.”

  “It’s been six years. I don’t care.” She waves her hand in front of me and goes to turn away.

  Reaching out, I grab her hand and pull her back so she’s facing me. Staring down into her eyes, I prepare to say the words that are going to throw her world into a tailspin once again.

  “He made me go, Lauren. He threatened your future, your happiness. Both of those things are more important to me than what I wanted.”

  “Oh that’s rich, even for you,” she says with a bitter laugh. “I thought it was a huge coincidence that you only showed y
our face after Dad died, but this is proof that you really were just waiting for him to die to take over.”

  “I’ve been waiting for him to rot in hell for a long time, Lauren, trust me.” Even her shocked gasp isn’t enough for me to regret the words I probably shouldn’t have said. But they’re true. “He didn’t stay away on a golf weekend. He came back. He was waiting for me. Waiting for me to make me leave you.”

  “You’re lying.” Wrapping her arms around herself, her body’s visibly shaking as she tries to reject the words I’m saying to her.

  “I wish. I wish he’d have just accepted how I felt—how I feel—about you. I wish he’d allowed you the happiness you deserve, but just like every other part of his life, he waded in and took control of the situation. It’s no different to what he’s done here.”

  “Okay…say everything you’re telling me is true. Then why the fuck would he leave this place and the house to you? You’re trying to tell me that he hated you to the point that he made you walk out of my life, yet you’re the only one listed in his will. What the fuck, Ben?”

  She paces up and down in front of me, her fists clenching and unclenching as she tries to process and make sense of what I’m telling her.

  “There’s nothing here, Lauren. The business is on the verge of going under.”

  “Bullshit. I do the accounts, the profits are better than they’ve ever been.”

  “That’s what he makes you believe,” Erica says, chipping in for the first time.

  “What? You’re in on this too?”

  “Lauren, trust me when I tell you that I understand how hard all of this is to swallow, but your dad wasn’t the kind of man you thought he was.”

  Lauren looks between the two of us like we’ve just slapped her. “I don’t know what to think. I see all the figures. I see exactly—”

  “What he wants you to see.”

  “How? And why are you only telling me this now?”

  “You might want to sit down,” Erica says, gesturing to the chair behind Lauren.

  “I’m fine. Just tell me what’s going on.”

  “Okay, well…you know how things were for me after Matt and I split up?” Lauren’s brows draw together in confusion, but she doesn’t interrupt. “Nick knew I was in trouble financially, and he knew I’d do just about anything not to lose my home. So…”