Losing the Forbidden: Forbidden Series #2

by Lorraine, Tracy

  “So?”

  “Fucking hell, Lauren.” Erica drops her head into her hands and blows out a few slow breaths. “Just remember that I was in a really bad place, okay? He started being really nice, helping me out, giving me lifts home after I sold my car, just little things. He helped me out financially so I wouldn’t miss a mortgage payment.”

  “Right…”

  “I slept with him.”

  “What?” As if Erica’s words are like a physical blow to her chest, Lauren stumbles back and crashes into a chair. “Fucking hell. This is a joke, right? This isn’t fucking happening,” Lauren fumes, walking to the other end of the office. “You slept with my fucking dad?”

  “I know how bad this sounds, Lauren. Believe me, none of this was by choice.”

  “I’m hearing that word a lot today.” The laugh that falls from her lips is anything but amused.

  “He blackmailed me, Lauren. He made me fall for his charms. He made me need him, and then he made me do exactly what he wanted for fear of the truth coming out and losing my home.”

  “And what did he make you do? Other than…the obvious.” Lauren shivers at the thought while Erica looks like she could puke any second.

  “He had me doctoring the figures. Intercepting documents after you’d filed them. Ben’s right, there’s nothing here. I’m so sorry, Lauren.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”

  “I couldn’t. I was—I am—humiliated that I allowed it to happen, but I was drowning and he gave me an out.”

  “So what you’re both trying to tell me is that he made you leave,” she says, looking at me, “and he made you sleep with him and cook the books?”

  “Jesus, I’m so sorry, Lauren,” Erica repeats, but Lauren’s already turned away from her.

  “This is all your fault. All of it.” Her fists slam down on my chest, but I’m faster than her and I capture her wrists. “If you hadn’t let him manipulate you. If you hadn’t left. If you’d just fought for what you wanted; none of this would have happened. That is your fault,” she says, pointing back at Erica, who’s wiping away the tears on her cheeks. “All. Of. This. Is. Your. Fault,” she says as she fights against her restraints. “And I fucking hate you,” she screams. The shock has me releasing her arms, and she runs before I get a chance to stop her.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Well, that went well,” Erica manages through her tears.

  “Fucking hell,” I shout, rubbing my hands over my head and down my face. “Now what?”

  “Do what you should have done six years ago. Fight for her, Ben.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’m a big girl.”

  Pulling her into my arms, I drop a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m so sorry you got dragged into this.”

  “It’s my fault. I should have stopped it before it started.”

  “You weren’t to know he was using you.”

  “Maybe not, but I knew nothing good could come of it. I need to talk to Jenny.”

  “I think that’s a good idea.”

  “Really?” she asks, pulling back so she can look at me.

  “Yeah. If we’ve got any hope of keeping any of this, we all need to be on the same page. No more lies. No more deception and bullshit.”

  “I couldn’t agree more. She’s going to hate me.”

  “I think she’ll be more understanding than you expect. After all, how do you think he managed to worm his way in here in the first place?”

  “Motherfucker.”

  I was only a kid when they got together. I have no idea how it all happened and what Nick’s intentions were. They could have been totally honourable and he could have loved her, but knowing him now, I highly doubt it.

  “I need to find Lauren.”

  “She said she was meant to be seeing Danni this afternoon. She’s probably gone there.”

  “Where’s there?” After getting the address, I go to leave but stop at the main door to the office. “Erica?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Why are you here on a Sunday?”

  “Someone’s got to try to keep this place from going under.”

  “Has anyone told you that you’re a little bit awesome?”

  “Yeah, every now and then.” She tries to make it sound light, but I hear the sadness in her tone. Somehow, I think every now and then might be pushing it.

  “Well, you are. I’ll be back to help, promise.”

  “Just go and get your girl, Ben.”

  “She’s not fucking here. How many times?” Danni asks, standing her ground at her front door.

  “You’re lying.”

  “I’d do anything for Lauren. I’d lie for her time and again if I needed to, but seriously, she’s not here.” Not buying her excuses, I barge past her. “Come in, why don’t you?”

  I find two people sitting on her sofa, but other than that her flat is empty and my stomach drops.

  “Happy now?” Danni asks when I join her and her friends back in the living room.

  “I’m sorry,” I mutter, regretfully.

  “What’s happened?”

  “She’s finally learnt the truth.”

  “What? That you’re a weak fucking pussy?”

  “Whoa. Who’s bent your knickers out of shape?”

  “None of your fucking business. Just like Lauren is none of yours. You need to stay away from her. You’ve already done enough damage.”

  “Whatever. Do you have any idea where she is?” Her eyebrows rise and she defiantly puts her hands on her hips. “Okay, well…it was nice seeing you.”

  I let myself out of her fancy basement flat and find my car where I left it half parked on the kerb, thankfully without a ticket.

  Resting back, I wonder what I should do now, but the only thing I can see is the dejected look on Lauren’s face as she walked away from me. I know she probably doesn’t want me chasing her down right now, but we just dropped two huge bombs on her. I need to know she’s okay.

  Fighting my need to go back to the office and find her address, I drive to my favourite place. By the time I’m pulling up to the deserted car park that overlooks the city below, the sun is starting to set. Soft orange hues make the hustle and bustle in the distance look almost inviting. This place is the escape from reality that I need.

  Disappointment hits me when I turn the corner and spot another car at the far end—that is, until I take it in properly.

  She’s here.

  Pulling up next to her car, I look inside and find it empty. Where the fuck is she?

  Quickly getting out without shutting off the engine, the music continues playing behind me as I go in search of the woman who still holds my heart in my hands.

  The moment I walk to the edge of the car park, I see her. She’s laid out on a blanket on the grass bank.

  Walking over, I drop down beside her and stare at her peaceful face. Her eyelashes are resting down on her tear-stained cheeks. Her lips are slightly parted as she blows out shallow breaths.

  She’s so fucking beautiful, my heart aches for her.

  “I’m so sorry, Lauren,” I whisper. She can’t hear me, but the need to say it gets the better of me.

  Reaching forward, I brush a loose strand of hair from her face, but I’m not gentle enough.

  Her eyes fly open as she scrambles to sit up. “Jesus fucking Christ, Ben.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. You shouldn’t fall asleep out here. Anything could happen to you.”

  “Like being scared to death by you?”

  “I’m the last person you should be scared of.”

  “I’m not so sure about that.” Everything that’s happened in the last few days seems to hit her all at once because her soft, sleepy eyes suddenly turn hard. She looks away from me, cutting herself off.

  “Lauren, please don’t do that. Can we just talk?”

  “Talk? What would you like to talk about exactly? How you broke my heart? About how my dad apparentl
y was intent on ruining my life along with everyone else’s that I care about? About how you promised to protect me and you just fucking left?”

  I pause and stare at her for a few seconds. After imagining her for so long, being able to sit beside her, to breathe the same air as her, feels surreal.

  When I don’t respond, she turns her blue eyes on me.

  “The weather?” I ask, remembering that she asked me a question.

  The skin around her eyes crinkles before the most amazing sound fills my ears. Laughter.

  I can’t help but laugh along with her as she lets out some of the tension she’s been carrying around with her.

  She laughs for the longest time. I really hope it helps her as much as it does me. Once she’s calmed down, she looks up at me and smiles. “Thanks. I needed that.”

  “Glad I could help.”

  “It doesn’t fix anything though.”

  Reaching out, I tuck the same stray piece of hair back behind her ear. “Doesn’t it?”

  Slapping my arm away, she puts a little more distance between us. “Why do you keep doing this?”

  “Doing what?”

  “Acting like nothing’s changed. It’s been six years, Ben. Everything’s changed. I’ve changed. What I want has changed.”

  “Has it? Because from where I’m sitting, you still have the same passion and desire in your eyes as you did back then. Your body reacts in exactly the same way. You’re just too scared to admit that nothing’s really changed at all.” Closing the space between us, I whisper, “Not where we’re concerned.”

  “Stop it. I’ve moved on.”

  “See, there you go again. Pretending that’s true.”

  “It is true. You’ve met him.” She can’t hold my eyes as she says this and turns to look over the city.

  “Hmm…so I have. Look at me and tell me you love him. That you love him like you did me.”

  Anger fills her eyes when she looks back. “How dare you ask me that?”

  “What? It’s a simple question. Do you love him?”

  “Of course.”

  “Like you did me?”

  Her silence says everything I need to hear.

  “No, I didn’t think so.”

  “I’m leaving.” Lauren jumps up from the blanket and goes to march towards her car. Unfortunately for her, I’m faster.

  “No, you’re not.” Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pull her back until she’s pressed up against my chest.

  “Tell me you don’t fall asleep at night wishing it was me next to you. Tell me it’s not me you imagine when he’s getting you off.”

  “He doesn’t—” She slams her lips together to stop herself saying more. Her reaction soothes the sting of even suggesting another man might have touched her. “No, Ben. No.”

  “You’re lying.”

  Our eye contact holds, our breaths mingling, our chests heaving. As much as I want to make the first move, as desperate as I am to feel her soft lips against mine, I know I need to wait for her to do it.

  “Fuck you, Ben. Fuck you.” Lifting up, her lips press against mine.

  I wait a second for her to regret it, but when she doesn’t pull back, I make the move I’m desperate for.

  My fingers slide into her hair, while my other arm continues to hold her around the waist and I lower her back down onto the blanket.

  Sliding my hand over her neck, I find the zip on the front of her hoodie and pull it down. We both know who it belongs to, and it needs to go. The second it’s undone, I find the hem of her top and slip my hand underneath. I need more of her. I need to feel her soft skin against mine.

  “Fuck, Ben. We can’t—”

  “Shhh.” Kissing down the sensitive skin of her neck, I lick across her collarbone and pull the fabric of her vest down to reveal her full breast.

  “We’re out in the open.”

  “I’ve never seen anyone else here. It’s safe. Take a risk with me, Lauren.” I flick my eyes up to hers and they’re met with burning passion. There’s no way she’s stopping this right now.

  Pulling the cup of her bra down, I suck her puckered nipple into my mouth.

  “Fuuuck, Ben,” she moans, arching to give me more.

  “I fucking love it when you’re desperate for me.”

  “I’m always desperate for you.” The second she registers that she said the words aloud, she sucks in a breath and bites down on her bottom lip.

  “I know. I can see it every time you look at me. It’s like you’re begging me to find out just how badly you need me.” Popping the button on her jeans, I slip my hand inside and beneath the lace covering her. “You’re soaked for me, aren’t you?”

  She doesn’t respond, so I dip my head and bite down on her exposed nipple.

  “All you can think about is how I’ll feel inside you again, isn’t it?”

  I don’t get a chance to take her in my mouth again because she nods. “Yes, yes. Please.”

  Satisfied that she’s admitting what she really wants, I slide my fingers lower and find her exactly as I was expecting.

  “Fucking hell, Lauren.” Taking her lips again, I tease her clit and dip my fingers inside her just enough to drive her fucking crazy with need.

  I kiss her until I’m breathless and she’s writhing beneath me, desperate for more.

  Pulling my hand from her jeans, I sit her up and pull her hoodie, vest, and bra off. I need more. Squeezing both her breasts in my hands, she moans and bucks her hips against me. My cock presses against the fly of my jeans, desperate to be released.

  Pulling her trainers from her feet, I slide her jeans and knickers down her legs.

  Reaching back, I pull my t-shirt over my head. Her eyes immediately drop to my exposed skin and she runs her tongue along her bottom lip.

  “It’s yours whenever you like. You just gotta say the word, Lauren.”

  Her eyes focus a little more, and I worry that I just said the wrong thing, but instead of shying away, she reaches out for my fly.

  Her delicate fingers make light work of undoing the button and zip and parting the fabric. Running her hands around the sensitive skin under my waistband, she slides them into the back of my jeans and grabs onto my arse. Her nails dig into my skin and I find her lips, pulling her bottom one into my mouth and biting down until I hear her soft gasp of surprise.

  Forcing the fabric down my thighs, my cock springs free. She rips her lips away from mine and looks down. My cock twitches under her stare. I’m lost in my imagination for what’s coming next, so I’m caught totally off-guard as she shoves my shoulders and I fall backwards onto the blanket ungracefully. Lauren wastes no time. Throwing her leg over my waist, she lines herself up exactly where I need her.

  She grinds down on my cock and a growl rumbles up my throat.

  “This is fucking everything,” I manage to get out as she takes me in her hand and slowly lowers herself.

  “Fuck.” She throws her head back as the sensation washes through her.

  She comes to a stop when she’s fully seated, but it’s not enough for me. Grabbing onto her hips, I lift her and then slam her back down.

  I hit her so deep that her head flies forward and her shocked eyes find mine.

  “Just reminding you who you belong to, baby.”

  “Fuck you.” It comes out as a gasp as I slam up into her once again. Her walls ripple around me; she’s already close to finding her release.

  Needing to feel her clamping down on me, I release one of her hips in favour of teasing her clit.

  “Fuck, Ben,” she moans, grinding her hips against me.

  “Come, Lauren. Remind yourself what it’s like, because you know as well as I do that no one else makes you feel this good.”

  “Fucking. Hate. You,” she shouts, her body tensing as her orgasm claims her. Every muscle in her body convulses with the pleasure that races through her. I continue thrusting up into her and allow her to ride out every second of her release.

  Drained of en
ergy, she falls onto my chest.

  “This is how it’s meant to be, Lauren.”

  Unable to find her voice, she instead sinks her teeth into my pec. The sensation shoots straight to my cock and I explode on a roar, emptying everything I have inside her.

  Once my body’s come down from its high, I shift us and roll Lauren onto her back. If she believes I’m done with her for tonight, she’s going to have a shock.

  I settle myself between her thighs and take her lips in a wet and dirty kiss.

  “I don’t know how it’s possible, but we’re even more explosive than we were back then, baby.”

  Her nails scratch down my back as I suck one of her nipples into my mouth and release it with a pop.

  The lyrics of Avicii and Rita Ora’s Lonely Together float around the otherwise silent night around us, and I can’t help thinking that it’s perfect for right now.

  I pepper kisses down her stomach, pausing when I hit her belly button. Looking up, I find her watching my every move.

  The words start falling from my lips before I’ve realised. I can’t help myself. “Lauren, I never stopped lo—”

  “Don’t.” No sooner has she barked the word than she’s scrambling out from beneath me and snatching up her discarded clothes.

  “No, stop.” I try grabbing at the fabric of her jeans as she shoves her leg in, but she manages to pull it from my grasp. Standing, I pull my own jeans up and watch as she quickly puts on the rest of her clothes.

  “Enough, Ben. This was a mistake.”

  “No, it really wasn’t. This was meant to happen. We are meant to happen, Lauren.”

  “No, we’re not.”

  She may as well have just stabbed a knife through my heart.

  “How can you say that?” My voice sounds just as defeated as I feel. I take a step towards her, but she takes two back.

  “All of this was a mistake. I never should have gone anywhere near you. It was wrong, and we both knew it.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with how I feel about you.” I try reaching for her again, but she’s backing up too quickly.

  “You ruined my life, Ben. This is done. We are done.”