Love So Deep

by Kathleen Ball

  She backed away until the back of her knees hit the bed and she immediately sat down. As soon as she saw the glow of the hot knife, she closed her eyes. The searing sound then the smell of burnt flesh made her gag. Her body tensed. He still had to do the back of Violet Flower’s shoulder. Once again, she heard the searing of the hot knife on flesh. This time she opened her eyes and the sheer pleasure on Solomon’s face frightened her. How could he be so evil? She shivered doubly glad Brian had escaped.

  “There all done, now get on with birthing that baby.”

  Back by Violet Flower’s side, she bathed her brow with cool water. “You didn’t even utter a sound.”

  Solomon laughed maliciously. “That’s why I like her. She never cries out.”

  She ignored him and concentrated on trying to make the other woman comfortable. “I’m surprised you didn’t pass out. You are a very brave and strong woman.”

  Violet Flower’s eyes widened and softened. “Thank you, so are you.”

  The words both surprised and warmed her. They’d been on opposite sides of a silent feud for months now. She wasn’t sure of the outcome but she hoped she could count on Violet Flower’s hate for Solomon to help them both. What did Solomon mean about not deciding about the baby yet? Did he mean to take it with him?

  Violet Flower began to pant and she took it as sign things were moving along with the birth. She positioned herself to have a look. “You’re crowning. It won’t be long now.”

  Violet Flower nodded, exhaustion written all over her face. “The clothes I made for the baby…”

  “I’ll get them. Hold on.” She’d watched her fashion baby clothes out of deerskin for a while now but she never really saw what she made. The fur-lined buckskins were plentiful and she grabbed a couple. A baby swaddled in one of these would be very warm indeed. Returning to Violet Flower, she got ready. “That’s it, one shoulder, yes, now the other. Push!”

  She grabbed the baby, tied off the umbilical cord and used the knife to cut it. Next, she used warm water to bathe the crying child and eventually she laid the baby on Violet Flower for inspection.

  “It’s a girl,” Violet Flower said, her voice full of wonder.

  “She’s beautiful. Look at all the dark hair she has already. Lay still while I tend you.” She draped one of the fur-lined skins over the baby and tended to the new mother. The whole birthing and Solomon holding them captive tired her but she needed to be alert for any chance of escape, though she doubted Violet Flower could get far for a few days.

  “Out of the way! I want to see the baby.” Solomon pushed her until she fell back on her bottom. He pulled the covering off and stared at the baby. “A useless good for nothing girl. I might as well put her out into the snow. I have no need for her.”

  “You’re a beast!” Solomon slapped her face with his open hand. Gingerly Samantha touched her throbbing cheek and said nothing more.

  Solomon went back to his chair in front of the door. “She does look like a half breed. She might be good to sell in a few years. I’ll have to think on it. No sense being hasty now, is there? I heard tell men like girls who aren’t all Indian. A nice half-and-half female could pay off after all.

  Samantha’s stomach tightened as her heart dropped. What type of evil was she dealing with? Never in her life had she encountered such a thing. Growing up, everyone was kind. It wasn’t until she was banned from the wagon train that she experienced the other side of people. Then there was Chigger leading those people to probable death in greed. Now Solomon.

  “Will you lie in the bed? You can sit up, lean against the wall and admire your pretty girl.”

  Violet started to shake her head, and then stopped. “I’ll give it a try.”

  Smiling, she reached down and gently took the baby in her arms. She placed her on the bed and went back to help Violet Flower to the bed. After she got both mother and daughter tucked in, she began to clean up the cabin.

  “I need to bury the afterbirth and the bloody towels. I also want to dump the dirty water.”

  He grunted at her, looked her up and down and finally nodded. “If you don’t return, the baby dies. I’ll throw it into the fire.”

  Chills racked her as she gulped. “I’ll be right back. I’ll stay in sight of the cabin. It might take some doing, digging into the frozen ground.”

  She put on Violet Flower’s warm coat and went outside, wishing there was something she could do but she didn’t dare take a chance. She wholly believed he’d throw the baby in the fire and laugh while doing it. She dumped the warm water and it melted a bit of the snow. Next, she grabbed a shovel from the barn and began to dig. By the time she finished her hands were frozen and blistered. She put her hands in the coat pockets and felt a knife. Her lips twitched. Violet Flower was full of surprises. She glanced at the front door before slipping the knife into her shoe.

  Next, she filled the bucket with snow and used her hands to clean it out. It wasn’t even close to having water but it worked. Filling the bucket with clean snow, she stood up and started for the cabin. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement and before she could turn her head, Solomon opened the door.

  “Get yourself in here! You’ve had enough time out there.”

  “I’m coming.” She pretended to stumble and then she fell, laying with her head in the direction she saw the movement in the woods. Slowly she pushed herself up and Patrick showed himself. Her heart beat out of her chest, and she wished she could cry out and run into his safe arms but she couldn’t risk it.

  Solomon grumbled and took a step outside. She held her breath, afraid he’d see Patrick. Her fear came to life as Solomon lifted his rifle in Patrick’s direction. Before she could scream, an arrow flew through the air and pierced Solomon in the chest. He clutched at it in surprise and sank to the ground.

  Standing, she became glued to her spot. All she could do was stare at Solomon. Suddenly she snapped out of it and began to run toward the cabin. Indians. She grabbed the rifle from the ground and turned scanning the clearing. Where were they? What about Patrick? Did they find Brian out there?

  She cocked the weapon ready to shoot.

  “Whoa, love. It’s me and Brian and a few friends.” Patrick awkwardly hurried toward her with Brian right behind. She held the rifle tight, ready to defend them all.

  “It’s all right. It’s me.”

  Blinking she stared at him. “You’re limping.” Her mind whirled with questions and she didn’t know where to begin. “Brian?”

  “Right here, Sam.”

  Patrick eased the gun from her. “It’s fine. Everything will be fine.”

  “Indians,” she whispered.

  “Yes, they are my friends.”

  “Oh.” She started to sag and Patrick easily picked her up and brought her inside the cabin.

  Thank God, she was alive. He carried her into the house, worried and relieved at the same time. He didn’t anticipate the new addition to his household to have arrived so soon. He couldn’t help but smile at the serene picture Violet Flower and her baby painted. Was that a smile on her face?

  “Is Sam okay?”

  “Scoot over so I can lay her down next to ya. I think she fainted or something.” Did Violet Flower just call Samantha Sam? What happened to White Woman?

  “I’m fine,” Samantha protested, struggling to get into a sitting position. “Where is Brian?” Her voice quavered.

  “I’m right here, Sam. I’m a hero, you know. I saved Patrick all by myself and I led the Utes back to the cabin.” His shoulders straightened, as he stood straight and tall.

  Samantha smiled at Brian and she relaxed her tense body. “Of course you’re a hero. I’ve always known you were special.”

  Brian’s face glowed at her praise.

  “My band is outside?” Violet Flower held her baby closer as her eyes widened in fear. “They want to take my baby away.”

  “I don’t think that’s why they’re here, Violet Flower. In fact, your husband, Charging Bea
r was on his way here. I’ll let him explain why.”

  She huddled against the wall. “He will kill my baby girl.” Tears threatened to spill.

  Samantha reached out and put her hand on his forearm. “You can’t allow anyone to take the baby away.” Her eyes pleaded with him.

  Squeezing her small hand, he smiled. “Her husband wants her back. He knows the truth of what happened. I guess there was a witness. It was her father who insisted she leave.”

  Samantha shook her head. “She has whip scars on her back. We can’t send her back.”

  Violet Flower moved closer to Samantha. “The whipping was from my father, not my husband. I would like to see him.”

  He wondered what went on in the last twenty-four hours. Why were they so friendly to one another and who softened Violet Flower’s demanding ways? He didn’t dare ask. Peace was a good thing. “Are ya both okay? Solomon didn’t—.”

  Samantha reached out her hand and he helped her up. “We were too busy with the baby and all. I’m just glad he’s dead.” She walked over to Brian and put her arms around him. “Thank you for all your help.”

  Brian seemed decidedly uncomfortable with her affection.

  Patrick nodded at Violet Flower. “She’s a beautiful baby. We’ll wait outside and let your husband have a moment alone with ya.”

  “He will laugh when he sees me in a bed.”

  “Maybe. We’ll be right outside if ya need us.” He grabbed Samantha’s coat and helped her put it on. “Let’s go.”

  Solomon’s body had already been dragged away. “Ya can go in now. She wants to see ya.”

  The man whose horse was in front of the others nodded then jumped down. Charging Bear touched Brian’s head as he passed and he hurried into the cabin.

  “Violet Flower will be fine, won’t she?” Samantha stared up at him.

  “She will.” He gave her a quick grin of reassurance. “He loves her.”

  “Why did she keep saying the baby was yours?”

  “I guess she was desperate. The father was white so she probably figured people would believe her.” He shrugged and shook his head. A gust of wind kicked up, causing her to shiver. Instinctively he took her hands and pulled her toward him, opening his coat enough for her to fit inside too. Her initial surprise turned into laughter.

  “I always feel like a newborn kitten when you do this.”

  “What’s wrong with wanting ya warm?” He hugged and relished the smell of her. Her hair smelled soap and water clean. “Was the birth an easy one?”

  “Depends what you call easy. She was shot in the shoulder, then her wounds were seared closed with a red-hot knife. The baby was the easy part. She is a very strong woman and very brave.”

  “There seems to be friendliness between ya two.”

  “I guess you could say that.” Her arms went around his waist, bringing her body flush against his. He wondered if she could feel his arousal.

  “Brian found me stumbling out in the woods and as we walked back home we ran into our guests. The same woman who told Charging Bear that Violet Flower was unfaithful finally admitted Violet Flower wasn’t willing.”

  She shivered against him. “Solomon forced Violet Flower many times. It’s his baby.”

  He rested his cheek against her soft hair. “She knew the baby would be half white. Now I know why she insisted it was mine. Life can be hell for an Indian woman alone with a half-breed child.” He couldn’t hide his bitterness.

  “It was hard for you.” She hugged him tighter until his throat clogged. No one had understood or cared before.

  Charging Bear walked out of the cabin, a big grin crossed his face. His expression was one of sheer pride. “I have a daughter.” His friends all congratulated him. He gazed at Patrick and gave him a nod of thanks. “I’m willing to take the other boy too. He will make a fine warrior.”

  Samantha pulled away and before he could stop her, she stood toe to toe with Violet Flower’s husband. “You are not to lay one finger on Brian. He will be staying with me.”

  “You’re not his family.”

  Her eyes widened. “Neither are you. I want him with me. I will take care of him.”

  He smirked. “You and Mountain Man will raise him together? Help him grow into a great man?”

  “No, I, we, I can raise him myself.” She folded her arms in front of her and lifted her chin.

  “What do you say, Mountain Man? You taking these two on?”

  His heart raced in panic. Samantha wouldn’t want to stay with him and it wasn’t fair to the boy. He was about to say no when he met her pleading gaze. He’d come to regret it, he just knew it but… “Yes, I’m taking them on.”

  Brian gave a big whoop and ran toward him, almost knocking him back with an eager hug. “Thank you.”

  Patrick patted him on the back, not knowing what to say. Samantha strode toward them and her smile both warmed him and filled him with apprehension. He’d let her have her happiness for now, until they talked. It was for the best he take them to town in the spring and leave them. He just hoped it wouldn’t be as hard as he imagined.

  “I’d better get inside and check on the baby.” Samantha hurried to the house. It wouldn’t do any good to get too close to her.

  “We will leave in the morning.”

  “Yes, of course you are my guests. I know you won’t stay in the house, but what about the barn?”

  “Thanks, we can manage.”

  Patrick nodded and headed toward the cabin. He turned in mid step. “Ya coming, Brian?”

  “Yes I am,” he yelled as he ran by him. His smile was one of triumph when he reached the door. “I win.”

  “We are both winners today.”

  Chapter Five

  After hating Violet Flower for so long, it felt odd to miss her. They had become something close to friends before she left. What a beautiful baby she’d been blessed with. Envy pinged her heart. Her greatest wish had always been to have a family. The sadness of losing her parents washed over her and it was hard to shake. If only they’d never decided to come west.

  She sighed. There was no sense wishing for a different outcome. Dead was dead and she’d have to get over it. They didn’t even allow her to take a few of her parent’s things with her when they threw her off the wagon train. It was a great loss, deeply felt.

  “Are ya okay?” Patrick asked, his eyes full of concern.

  “I was just thinking is all. Did you know while you were gone I had decided Violet Flower’s name should be Stink Weed?”

  He threw his head back and laughed loudly. “Stink Weed?” He laughed some more. “What do ya call me?”

  “I haven’t had time but I guess I could come up with something.” She smiled.

  “A good name or bad?” His masculine lips twitched and his eyes sparkled in the firelight.

  “Good, I think.” They stared at each other until Patrick’s smile faded. He grabbed his pipe, put on his coat and was out the door before she could blink. There were times she thought he was attracted to her and then there were times like now, where he would simply up and leave. She’d done it again. She’d made him uncomfortable in his own home.

  “Are you going to be my new ma?” Brian asked. He was dutifully practicing his letters in the ashes.

  The question startled her. She hadn’t thought of it that way.

  “Never mind.” He sighed and turned his back to her.

  “Brian, look at me.” She waited for him to turn and his sullen expression pinched her heart. “There are laws about such things. As much as I’d love to be your ma, I doubt a judge would allow it.”

  “How come?”

  “I’m not married and I don’t have a way to support either of us.”

  “You might get married someday, right?”

  “I suppose I will but probably not in time for a judge to allow me to be your ma.” She knew she cared for the boy but it wasn’t until now she realized how much she loved him. The thought of losing him hit her hard.
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  Brian stared at the floor and shuffled his feet. “I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

  Blinking back tears, she tried to smile. “You didn’t. I’m glad we are together now.”

  “Me too. I’m going out to see Patrick.”

  “Dress warmly.”

  He grinned. “I will!”

  As soon as the door closed, tears rolled down her face. She dashed them away with the heel of her hand as quickly as she could. There was no sense in getting his hopes up, or hers either. She couldn’t imagine how bad his life with Solomon had been. One thing about Brian, he didn’t take anything for granted. He just wanted to be loved and to belong.

  They both wanted the same thing.

  “Why not?” Brian asked Patrick as the door opened. “It’s a great idea and I know you like her. You sneak peeks at her when she’s not lookin’.”

  Patrick shook his head in annoyance and his lips formed a grim straight line. He met her gaze and he did not look at all pleased. “Did ya put fool ideas in this boy’s head? Ya can’t make promises ya can’t keep and I never mentioned marrying ya. Sorry but it’s not in the plans.” He took off his coat, grabbed the bridle he’d been fixing and sat in front of the fire, staring into it.

  Her heart plummeted. His opinion of her couldn’t be very high if he thought she’d try to get him to marry her. True, she had nowhere to go but she planned to leave come spring. She had hoped she was earning her keep by cooking and cleaning but it was clear she wasn’t as welcome as she’d thought. He did genuinely like Brian though. She could see it in the way he looked at him with his big blue eyes. They softened when he talked to the boy.

  There was no help for anything now. She’d try to keep out of his way until spring, although it was mighty tough in the small cabin. Having no other outlet for her pent-up frustration, she grabbed a cloth and began to clean.

  “Ya know, you’ve cleaned the same spot five times already.” Patrick’s voice invaded her thoughts and startled her.

  “The cleaner the better.” She bit the top of her lip. She needed to stir the stew but Patrick was sitting in her way. Taking a deep breath, she vowed not to fear any man again. The wooden spoon lay on the counter and she picked it up. She’d have to bend awfully close to Patrick to get near enough to the heavy pot. He might not like her but he liked her cooking. “Excuse me, I need to stir the pot.”