Outcome

by Kim Pritekel

  "Wow." I shook my head sadly. "It’s not easy."

  "Nope. Well," my mom slapped her hands on her knees. "You ready?" I grinned, nodding.

  We scooted out of the booth, and my mom paid the bill. As we got back into the car, I looked around it, realizing this would probably be the last time I’d be carted around as a passenger in it. How exciting! I could drive myself to school, and to work, though I’d have to supplement the workout I usually got with the walks or riding my bike with something else. That was fine by me.

  We pulled into the car lot of new and used cars, and my excitement level skyrocketed. I wondered if we’d still be here if my mom knew I had snuck out with Haley.

  "Can I help you ladies?" We turned to see a car salesman heading straight for us. I didn’t want him around. I wanted just me and my mom to enjoy this. We’d have to deal with them in time.

  "No thank you. We’ll let you know when we do." Go mom. I smiled at her. She grinned and winked at me. "Okay, sweet pea, what are you looking for?" I shrugged, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

  "I’m not sure."

  "Well, living here, and especially if you go to school on the east coast, you want something that will be good in the snow. "Something that’s reliable."

  "Okay. I can do that." We began to walk through row upon row of cars, trucks, SUVs, vans, even a motorcycle or two. For shits and giggles, I even test drove a candy apple red Miata.

  But then, like a bolt of lightning, it hit me. I saw in the far row what I wanted.

  "That’s it."

  "What?" My mom followed my gaze, then looked at me. "You want a station wagon?"

  "No, the Jeep Cherokee next to it."

  "Oh, that is nice. Come on, let’s look at it." We hurried over to the car, it was a beautiful, deep forest green, and when I pressed my face to the window, I saw it even had leather interior. "What’s the sticker price?" my mom asked, looking at the tires and undercarriage. I went around to the driver’s side, and my shoulders slumped as my heart fell.

  "Sixteen thousand."

  My mom stood, looked at me as she chewed on her bottom lip. Then she saw the car salesman walking around, trying not to look as if he were following us.

  "Hey, mister, we need you now."

  * * *

  I sat at the stoplight, my mom in the Outback in front of me. I looked around my new car, which was a year old, but I didn’t care. She was mine, now. I was so excited, I could barely contain it. Mom had managed to talk that salesman down to fourteen, so the price was perfect. Life was sweet. I looked over at the passenger seat, wishing Haley was there right now. I had missed her all day, though I had loved the time alone with my mom. That was so rare these days with both of our schedules.

  The car had been bought with the understanding that should a mechanic find anything wrong with it, I could return it. I would have Chris look at it as soon as we got home. He was a wiz with cars and engines, and it was his passion. It was odd sitting so high up off the street, though the Outback wasn’t a low car, it wasn’t an SUV.

  The light turned green, and I drove on. I felt so free, like, I’m not sure what I felt like. I guess for lack of a better term, I felt like an adult.

  Mom parked her car along the curb in front of the house, and I parked in the driveway so Chris could get a good look at everything. I was bummed as I turned off the engine, not wanting the drive to be over, yet. I wanted to stay behind the wheel, and just drive, wherever I wanted to go. Well, after I picked up Haley, that is.

  "Where’s Chris?" I asked, after finally getting out of the car.

  "I don’t know. I haven’t gone into the house yet." My mom laughed at me and my excitement, which completely robbed me of any patience. She put her arm around my shoulders, and we headed into the house. It was after ten, so I figured he’s have his lazy butt out of bed, then I heard the water from the shower.

  "Damnit, hurry up, Chris." I muttered.

  "He’ll be out soon, honey. Don’t worry. I’m going to go call the insurance company."

  The deal was, she helped me with the money, and I paid for half the car, but also gas and insurance. I was grateful just to have a car.

  Finally the water cut off, and my brother hurried down the stairs, pulling his shirt over his head.

  "What did you get?" He looked out the front window, and saw my jeep in the driveway. "Oh, nice." Out the front door he went, me on his heels. While Chris did his thing, I waited impatiently, asking tons of questions

  Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Chris slid out from under the jeep, wiping his hands on the rag he had brought under with him.

  "It looks great, Andi. You should be good to go."

  "Great! Thanks, freak." I punched playfully on the shoulder, and hurried around to the driver’s side. "Tell mom I went to Haley’s."

  I started her up, and backed out of the driveway.

  Haley’s house was quiet, her car parked on the side of the garage as per usual. I pulled the parking break, and headed out to the front door. I stood, my hands clasped in front of me as I waited for someone to answer the doorbell. I heard the locks undone on the other side, and the door opened.

  "Oh, hello, Mrs. Corregan."

  "Hi, Andi. How are you?"

  "I’m doing well, thank you. Is Haley here?" I was about to bubble over with excitement, using every bit of self-control I had to not jump around on the front porch.

  "Oh, no, hon. She went shopping today with Kelly."

  "Oh." I felt my heart sink, and I wanted to cry. So how would she be the first one for me to give a ride to? Why wasn’t she here to see my surprise? This was such a momentous occasion in my life, and she wasn’t even home to see it.

  "Kelly came and picked her up around nine. She should be back home this afternoon, though. Can I give her a message for you?"

  "Well, I got my car today." I felt really stupid, suddenly. Was this as big of a deal as I thought it was? Why would Haley care? She already had a car.

  "Oh, Andi, that’s wonderful." Haley’s mom smiled brightly. "Is that it?" she pointed to my baby at the curb. I nodded. "What a beautiful car. Congratulations." Before I knew it, I was pulled into a hug. "You must be so proud."

  "Yes, I am." I just wanted out of there. "Okay, well, I guess just tell her I came by."

  "I will do that. Congratulations again, hon."

  "Thanks." I gave her as good a smile as I could muster, and turned away to head back to the Jeep.

  I sat at my desk, staring out the window. I could see my car from there, and wanted so badly to be out in it, shopping again, with Haley. Why wasn’t she home today? I had never just shown up at her house unannounced, and the one time that I managed to garner enough courage to do just that, she’s gone. Why would she go shopping with Kelly when she had finished all her Christmas shopping with me? What can Kelly add to the shopping experience that I couldn’t give her?

  Fuck it. I knew I shouldn’t put much stock into this thing with Haley. I wasn’t even sure if it could be labeled as a friendship. She had her fun, and now it was back to her little loyal bunch of groupies.

  I turned on my computer, and began to play Literati.

  I heard a knock on my bedroom door, and glanced at the clock on the computer screen, shocked to see it was nearly three in the afternoon.

  "Come in."

  The door squeaked open, and I felt arms slide around my neck, and a cold cheek against mine. What the?

  "Congratulations, Andi," said a low voice. I wanted to smile, but my stubborn side wouldn’t allow that.

  "Thanks." My voice held no emotion, just dry.

  "What’s wrong?" The arms pulled away, and I turned to see Haley staring at me.

  "Did you have fun?" I asked, my words far more biting than I’d intended. I crossed my arms over my chest. Haley took a small step back.

  "What? Fun? What are you talking about?"

  "I heard you went shopping with Kelly. Guess my time is up, huh?" Haley’s head cocked to the side, her mouth
opening a bit. I could tell she was surprised by this.

  "I don’t understand. I told Kelly we’d go Christmas shopping. We go every year. What’s the problem?"

  "Nothing."

  "Don’t give me that, Andi. What did I do?" She put her hands on her hips, trying to read anything from my face, but I gave her nothing.

  "I guess our friendship isn’t enough." I looked down, feeling dejected, but doing my best to hide it.

  "Andi, Kelly and I have been friends since birth, basically. She and I will always be friends. I don’t get what’s wrong." She stared at me, I looked back up at her, my face stern and stone. She brought her hand up to her face and began to chew on her thumbnail, looking at me the entire time, then began to pace around the room, not looking at anything, just moving. I didn’t understand it, and I hated the silence. I watched her every move, trying to see what she’d do. I felt anxious, fidgety. Then Haley stopped, turned to me.

  "You know what, Andi?" I didn’t answer. My pride was still flying entirely too high at that point. "You set me up to fail. Because of some asshole who decided to pick on you two years ago, I have to pay. Yeah, Jimmy is an ass, and yes, what he did was wrong. But I didn’t do it. I never made you any false promises, I never made fun of you, and I never used you. The only thing I did was like you for who you are. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can claim for yourself." I stared at her, now my mouth hanging open. She ran her hands through her hair, walking around my room as I imagined she got her emotions under control.

  "I have spent so much time with you in the past couple of months," she continued before I could even get a word in, even if I had wanted to. "Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I like you, Andi. But I do have other friends, and I cannot, and will not just drop them to the wayside because you don’t like them, or want to monopolize all my time. I want to spend time with you. Hell, I’m here right now, aren’t I?" I said nothing. "Aren’t I?" I nodded. She took a deep breath before continuing.

  "You know something?" Haley turned to me again, standing by my shelf of Beanie Babies. "You’re doing the same thing to me that my friends have done to you. You’re just as prejudiced of the quote, unquote, popular people as they have been of you." She walked toward me, kneeling down next to the chair I sat in. "Don’t do that, Andi. You’re far better than that. I like you for who you are, and I sure as hell thought I got the same from you." She stared at me, but I said nothing. I had an overabundance of stubbornness, usually to my own detriment. This time was no different. "We have a good thing going here. Please don’t ruin that, or throw it away." I wouldn’t even look at her. Inside me was a tempest of emotions and knotted thoughts. "Do you have nothing to say?"

  Speak, Andi! Speak! The voice inside my head was so loud, so clear, yet my pride kept me from saying anything. I didn’t want to lose Haley, and I wasn’t sure how to keep her.

  "Nothing at all, huh?" She stood, and I shrunk even more. "Guess not." I heard her footfalls as she walked across the bedroom, opened the door, then shut it behind her.

  Fuck!

  I stayed where I was, my mind screaming at me for being such an ass, possibly ruining a great friendship. God, when had I turned into everything I had ever hated about those people at school? Haley hadn’t deserved what I had done or said. She was one of the only people, except for Tracy, who had accepted me for me, all of me. Cynicism, stupidity, all of it. Why had I pushed her away like that? Where did I get off treating the one person I cared more about than any other, outside my family?

  I felt paralyzed with regret. I had done some stupid things in my life, but I think this just about topped the list.

  The day began to fade into night as I sat on, berating myself, and finally just going numb. I heard a knock at my door. No matter how much I wished it would be Haley knocking, so we could replay the entire scene, I knew it wasn’t.

  "Come in." I said quietly.

  "Honey?" my mother. "Do you want some dinner?"

  "No." I continued to stare out the window.

  "Okay. If you do, just holler."

  "Okay."

  I closed my eyes.

  Ring, ring, ring

  My eyes shot open, and I looked back toward my bed where the phone sat, and I waited with nearly bated breath. I wanted to hear my name being called out as I was called to the phone. It never happened. Glancing at the clock on my computer, I was stunned to see it was nearly nine-thirty at night.

  Feeling like I could move for the first time in many hours, and knowing I needed to so I could get some blood circulating to my butt, I stood and stretched. I looked out the window and saw my baby. Without another thought, I grabbed my keys, my thumb caressing the smooth, cold metal of the key chain, and headed out. I had to fix this.

  Haley’s house was lit up when I pulled up to the curb, my heart beating a thousand beats per minute. What if she threw me off her porch? She’d have every right. Gathering my courage for the second time that day, I opened my door, and headed to the Corregan’s front porch.

  I rang the doorbell, and waited, my breath coming quickly in little white bursts as the temperature dropped even further now that the sun was down for the night. I heard the locks open on the other side of the door, and it opened. Haley looked at me, surprise on her face.

  "I’m sorry," I muttered, barely audible to my own ears. She leaned in toward me a bit.

  "Whaaaaaat?" My head lifted defiantly, and a smirk spread to my face.

  "I am sorry." She stared at me, then smiled. My heart lifted, and I wanted to dance.

  "So, you going to give me a ride, or not?" She indicated my car with her eyes, then looked at me expectantly. I nodded vigorously.

  "Come on!" I grabbed her hand, and tugged, but she pulled back.

  "Wait, let me grab a coat, you nut." She grabbed one, and didn’t even get a chance to put it on before I pulled her outside and toward my car.

  Once inside, she took her time going through all the gadgets and gizmos the car came with.

  "Really like that sunglasses holder up there, don’t you?" I asked, as she pushed it open and closed again and again. She grinned.

  "Actually," she paused, looking down, "I like the height of your console."

  "My what? Why?"

  "It’s perfect, really, if you’re on a date, and you want to," She reached over and put her hand on my thigh, making my throat catch, "you know, do a little touching." An evil grin lit her face as she patted my thigh before taking her hand away.

  I missed it.

  * * *

  I breathed deeply, as I tied my ti, making sure it looked good. This was a huge day for me, and I was so glad that I had asked Haley to come. She sat in the audience with my mom and Chris, ready to watch me try and defend my title for the third year in a row. The first time I had won, it had been difficult, as it was my first championship, and I had been so nervous. Then last year had been a joke, my opponent obviously having no place here. But, this year I wasn’t so sure. I had heard that Jared Bell, a 20-year-old third-degree from Indianapolis, was very good, and very tough.

  I’d just have to be tougher.

  "Round one!"

  The announcement was made, and the crowd cheered as Jared and I took our places in the center ring. He was large, but not ridiculously so. But then, compared to me, most men looked large. The command was given, and we began.

  As the fight went on, I realized that this would not be easy at all. I knew my lip had already been sliced open, and I could taste the coppery taste of blood starting to fill my mouth. I spit a bit of it out, and continued to fight. I flipped him, trying to pin him, but he managed to get out from under me, the crowd cheering wildly. I so badly wanted to look up and see my family and Haley, to gain support from them, but I didn’t dare.

  My eyes squeezed shut as I was slammed to the mat, the air knocked out of me, but somehow, I managed to find that hidden vat of strength that I had heard about, but never had to tap into. I was determined that this son of a bitch was not g
oing to take my title away from me.

  The fight was nearly over, and we were nearly tied with our points. If only I could get just one or two good moves in, trip him up. Concentrate, Andi, concentrate.

  He went to give me a roundhouse, missed, and I saw my opportunity. I brought my fist up, pounded him under the jaw to daze him, then flipped him. I could tell he was tired, and just as bloody as I was, as he squeezed his eyes shut when he landed. I took the chance, and pinned him with every bit of strength and endurance I had, until the count was made, and I felt myself being pulled up by the arm, my hand raised high above my head.

  "Andrea Littman, reigning champion for the third year in a row!" The crowd was on its feet, the sound deafening in the gymnasium used for the matches. I searched the faces of the crowd until I saw Chris, his hand pumping in the air, his mouth open as he hollered his excitement. Next to him was my mother, doing much the same thing, and then finally Haley. She had her hands cupped around her mouth, yelling and cheering. She looked at me, her hands fell away from her mouth, and she smiled, giving me a thumbs up. I smiled back, wiping my hand across my forehead telling her I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it. She smiled wider, and I could see she was yelling my name.

  Combined parts 7 & 8

  "Come on, Andi. Just listen. Please?" I looked at her, those blue eyes that had been beckoning me for months now, that full lower lip sticking out in a pout. I stared at the lower lip, then up to the eyes again, and finally nodded. How on earth could I possible refuse that? "Yay!" Haley clapped her hands together, slid the CD into the player, and pushed play.

  "So, what is this again?" I picked up the jewel case and turned it over, reading the song titles.

  "This is called ‘A Little Bit of Heaven’."

  "She’s kind of cute," I said absently.

  "Who, Linda Eder?" Haley asked, pointing to the CD in my hand. Realizing what I’d said, I slowly looked up at her to see she was smirking.