This Side of Heaven

by Karen Kingsbury

  “You can certainly try.” Thomas sat a little straighter. He nodded, still in the game, not quite ready to throw in the cards. “Your case would be better if Josh hadn’t said on the witness stand that he had a daughter, if he hadn’t acknowledged her.”

  Annie remembered something. She hurried to Josh’s bedroom and returned with the letter from Maria Cameron, the one where she threatened never to let Josh see the girl unless he paid her thousands of dollars per month. “Listen to this.” She read a few choice paragraphs from the meanest sections of the letter. “The woman blackmailed Josh. She refused to even let him meet the girl. There’s no way his accident money can go to her and a daughter he never met.”

  “Actually,” Thomas said, sounding more tired than hopeful, “the law is pretty clear in this situation. In the case of estate law, any money belonging to the deceased automatically goes to the heir of the estate unless the deceased stated in writing before a witness that he or she did not want any or all of the estate to be given to that heir.”

  “In other words, if Josh had put in writing that he didn’t want his money going to this girl, or rather her mother, then there wouldn’t be an issue.” Nate was still sitting on the sofa, but he’d slid to the edge, his back straight, clearly doing his best to understand the situation they were suddenly in.

  “Exactly.” Thomas looked like he wasn’t sure how to say this next part. “The thing is, I had this talk with Josh a number of times. I advised him not to mention the girl on the witness stand, since there had never been a paternity test and since he had no idea where she was or any other details about her.”

  Annie knew where Thomas was headed with this. She closed her eyes and she could hear him still, hear the pleading in her son’s voice as he tried to convince her and Nate that the child was his daughter.

  “Josh wouldn’t hear of it. He told me that Savannah was his daughter and he would never deny the fact, not in court or anywhere else.”

  Her eyes opened and she looked at the photo over the fireplace. For the first time in all these years she saw the resemblance as clearly as if she were looking into the face of her son at that age. They had the same eyes. Annie must’ve seen it all along, seen it and denied it all at the same time so that her brain wouldn’t allow her heart to acknowledge the obvious. That this little girl was Josh’s daughter, their granddaughter.

  “I’ll look into case law on the matter first thing tomorrow.” Thomas pursed his lips.

  “I can check on the story I wrote, the one about a case like this,” Lindsay said. “The woman already tricked Josh once.” She looked at Annie and Nate. “I don’t think any of us can stand back and let her trick Josh again. Not when that settlement meant so much to him.”

  The conversation continued another five minutes, then Thomas left with promises to call sometime around lunch tomorrow. If they were going to contest the idea that the child was Josh’s rightful heir, they needed to form a battle plan as soon as possible.

  After Thomas was gone, Nate pulled Annie into his arms. “I have a few more hours left at the office.” He nuzzled his face against hers. “Don’t worry about this. We’ll get everyone at church praying and God will help us. The right thing will happen, I have no doubt whatsoever.”

  Annie nodded, too weary to speak. The news had knocked the wind from her, and after the initial burst of indignation, she was unable to feel anything but one very clear emotion: doubt.

  Lindsay needed to go, too, and she asked Annie to join her. “Come to my house, Mom. We’ll pick up a few salads on the way and you can spend a little time with Ben and Bella.” Lindsay leaned in and kissed her forehead. “They miss you.”

  “I’m not hungry.” Annie looked past her daughter to the boxes that still hadn’t been sorted through. “I’ll come over later. In an hour or so.”

  Reluctantly, Lindsay left, but only after Annie promised she wouldn’t stay more than an hour longer. Annie understood her daughter’s concern, but being here among Josh’s things, his words and music, his greatest treasures, had become almost enjoyable, a routine that made Josh a part of her life again.

  When she was alone, Annie returned once more to the picture on the mantel. Savannah was Josh’s daughter, and neither she nor Nate had ever wanted to admit that fact. But what if they had? What if they’d taken the time to hire an investigator and search out Maria Cameron? They might have forced a paternity test based on Maria’s own admission that the girl belonged to Josh. And then with the results in hand, Maria would’ve had no choice but to allow Josh a role in the girl’s life.

  Which meant Josh might have had his daughter after all. If only she and Nate had once, just once, believed him.

  Her tears came in convulsive spasms, taking over her heart and soul, her lungs, and her ability to think clearly. What had they done? So what if the woman had slept around? Did it really matter that she’d been married at the time of her Vegas tryst with Josh? Even if she’d been with a hundred men that month, there was a chance Josh was the father. A single chance, and that chance was worth exploring, wasn’t it? Didn’t Josh deserve at least that? He didn’t have any resources to wage that sort of search, that type of custody battle. The only way would have been if he’d received help.

  Help that Annie and Nate had unequivocally denied him.

  Dear God, what have we done? She took hold of the photo and slowly, painfully, she dropped to her knees. The little girl in the picture had never known her daddy, and now it was too late.

  Josh had never gotten to cradle his newborn daughter, never spoken to her in the quiet coos and gentle whispers that existed between a father and his child. He had been robbed of the chance to hold her hand while she toddled across the room, and he’d missed the drive to school on her first day of kindergarten.

  She had never known her father’s hugs, his strong arms. Never had she run to him down the hall of her home when strange noises made her frightened in the middle of the night. She’d never walked hand in hand with him to the park or giggled out loud while he pushed her high on a swing until her feet brushed against the sky.

  Josh had known she was his little girl, and there’d been nothing he could do about it. So he’d kept the journal and fought the lawsuit, knowing that the moment he had the settlement he would do what he’d longed to do since he first heard about the girl. He would fight Maria Cameron for custody. Annie remembered one time when the subject came up, the earnest look in Josh’s eyes, the passion with which he talked about the child.

  “Even if I get only one week a year, I want her to know me. I want her to know she has a dad who loves her.”

  Annie swallowed another sob. What had she done when Josh said that? Change the subject? Ask Josh if he wanted a second helping of spaghetti? Nothing about the child seemed even a little real. People didn’t go off to Vegas, have a one-night stand with a married woman, and wind up the father of her child. Annie couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge the possibility.

  And now it was too late.

  She held the photo close to her heart. “I’m sorry, Josh. I didn’t know.”

  The conversation from earlier played in her thoughts again—the news from Thomas and her reaction, the way she was instantly sure she wanted to fight the girl’s mother. Nate’s comments, too, about how nothing had meant more to Josh than receiving this settlement.

  That’s where she stopped. She struggled to her feet, her eyes never leaving those of the girl’s. No wonder she’d been feeling overwhelmed with doubt, both then and now. She’d denied the truth for seven years, denied that even a possibility existed that this child was Josh’s daughter. She caught herself, forced herself to rethink the way she viewed the little girl in the photograph. She wasn’t that girl, or that child. She was Savannah, Josh’s daughter. From now on I’ll think of her by her name, Annie told herself. I owe Josh at least that much.

  If Annie was sure the settlement would go to Savannah, then there would be no war to wage, no battle to fight. Josh loved her, ev
en if he never met her, and he would have wanted her taken care of. But that wouldn’t happen. Thomas said so himself. The money would go to Maria Cameron as Savannah’s guardian. By the time Savannah turned eighteen, the money would be gone, the insurance money wasted in the hands of a woman who had done everything in her power to ruin Josh’s life.

  That was something worth fighting against.

  But even so, Annie asked God for wisdom and understanding greater than herself. Please, Lord, lead the way in this legal nightmare. I’ve spent the last seven years denying even the slightest chance that Savannah was Josh’s daughter, and I was wrong. I don’t want to be wrong again. Please, God, lead us.

  “Josh, I promise I’ll never forget that you’re Savannah’s father. Not ever again.” She whispered the words through a fog of agony and she silently prayed at the same time that somehow God would let Josh hear them.

  Especially after so many years of denying Savannah’s relationship to Josh.

  She and Nate and Lindsay could form a team and fight for Josh’s settlement, and even now she was convinced that was the right thing to do, the only way to keep his money from falling into the hands of a woman who did nothing but hurt him. But they couldn’t tell themselves that nothing mattered more to Josh than the settlement. That was hardly true.

  Josh cared about the settlement, certainly, and the decision that the drunk driver’s insurance company should pay for the losses he’d incurred. He cared about getting the money and buying a house and building a future for himself. But his top concern wasn’t the settlement. That spot belonged to one person and one alone. Cara Truman had confirmed the fact again in their conversation earlier today. The answer was obvious to everyone who knew and loved Josh. What mattered most wasn’t the lawsuit but his daughter, Savannah Cameron.

  And now, one way or another, Savannah would have to matter to the rest of them, too.

  NINETEEN

  Cody Gunner couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed to contact Josh Warren’s parents. It was Wednesday, more than three weeks after Josh’s death, and every day since then the thought had all but consumed him. He hadn’t slept well once since hearing the news, because he knew a truth that maybe Josh’s parents should know, too. On the other hand, the situation really wasn’t his business. He waffled between whether to say something or not, and the inner conflict left him a little more worn out each day.

  Now he sat on the front porch of the ranch home he shared with his wife, Elle, and once more he voiced his feelings. “I keep telling myself it’s none of my business.” He reached for Elle’s hand and stared out across their property. “I mean, what if his family doesn’t even know about the little girl?”

  “What did Josh say, exactly?”

  “It was a talk we had on the way home from church, the last time he went with us. You were in back with Carl Joseph and Daisy, and Josh looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.”

  “That’s right. I thought something was wrong with him.”

  “I saw it, too, so I asked him. I told him he looked like he had a lot on his mind.” Cody remembered the conversation perfectly. He could hear Josh’s voice, see the lines on his forehead all over again.

  “My lawyer keeps asking me about Savannah,” he had said.

  “Your little girl?” Cody knew her name because Josh had talked about her before.

  “Yeah. He thinks the subject might come up in court soon. If the other lawyers ask about her, he wants me to say that as far as I know I don’t have any children.” Josh’s eyes narrowed with his concern over the issue. “You know, because there’s never been a paternity test or anything.”

  Cody remembered how his heart went out to Josh. He and Elle had been married for just over two years and she was expecting their first baby—a boy, if the ultrasound was right. Already the protective feeling he had for their first-born surpassed any emotion he’d ever known. He could only imagine what it would feel like to be Josh, to be sure that the child was his and then advised by his own attorney to deny his relationship to her in a court of law. Cody had pushed the issue a little further, curious about the intentions of Josh’s lawyer. “Why wouldn’t he want you to tell it like you believe it to be, that as far as you know you’re Savannah’s father?”

  “Because of the settlement.” Josh had squinted against the glare of the sun in his eyes. “If I tell the court I have a daughter, and if something happens to me, then Savannah will get all the money.”

  “All of it?” The thought had concerned Cody, especially since there was no real proof of Savannah being Josh’s daughter.

  “My debts would be repaid first, so my parents and my sister would be taken care of for everything they ever loaned me. And they’d do a paternity test before Savannah would get a dime, that sort of thing.” He shrugged one shoulder. “But yeah, after all that she would get the rest.”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “If I die before I get the settlement? Yeah, it’s what I want.” He had never sounded so sure about anything since Cody had met him. “That little girl hasn’t had her daddy all these years. If something happens to me, I at least want her taken care of financially. So she can grow up knowing I cared that much about her. You know?”

  Cody understood better now that he was about to be a father. Coming back from the memory, he looked deep into Elle’s eyes. “At the time, I let the conversation end without giving it another thought. I mean, Josh was in a lot of pain, but I didn’t think he was about to die.”

  “Of course not.” Elle’s expression told him she understood his dilemma. She put her hand on her stomach. “The baby’s kicking a lot tonight.”

  “Is he?” It was the third week in October and temperatures were cooling down at night. He put his arm around Elle’s shoulders.

  “I think he’s gonna ride horses like his daddy.”

  “Bulls, you mean?”

  “Horses.” Elle raised her eyebrows at him. “We have a deal.”

  “I know.” Cody smiled. He moved closer and kissed her slowly, enough that it left them both breathless. “No bulls for this baby. I promise.”

  They kissed again, and Elle drew back first. “What are you going to do?”

  “About the conversation with Josh?”

  Elle nodded. “His parents need to know their son’s wishes.”

  “You’re right. I’ll call them tomorrow.” He thought about Carl Joseph. “My brother’s having a hard time with this.”

  “Daisy, too.”

  “Yesterday he called and asked me about heaven.” Cody drifted as the conversation came to life again.

  “Heaven’s where Ali is, right, Brother?” There’d been uncertainty in Carl Joseph’s voice.

  “Right. Ali’s been there almost five years.”

  “That’s a long time.”

  “It is.” Cody rarely hurt over the loss of Ali anymore, but in that moment the pain was as fresh as the day his first wife had succumbed to cystic fibrosis. He swallowed his sorrow. “A very long time.”

  “You think maybe my good neighbor is getting to know Ali in heaven?”

  Cody had smiled at the picture. “That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

  “Yeah, because Josh was a really good neighbor, Brother. And if Ali needed a good neighbor in heaven, I wish God would put their houses right next to each other.”

  “Me, too.”

  “But I really wish Josh still lived across the parking lot in Apartment J-8, because we can’t exactly stop by on Saturdays and visit him in heaven.”

  “Not yet.”

  “One day?” Carl Joseph let a little hope creep back into his voice.

  “Yes. One day when we’re all in heaven together I’m sure Josh will be your neighbor again.”

  “I hope so, Brother.” Carl Joseph sighed. “He was a very good neighbor, and he gave us eggs for late breakfast and he didn’t even put them all in one basket. He used a plastic container instead.”

  Cody’s heart had
been touched by his brother’s description. “Josh was a good guy.”

  “Yeah, so the people in heaven are lucky to have him.” Cody pulled Elle close against his side. “That brother of mine has a good heart. He was the one at Ali’s funeral who told me he hoped God would give Ali a horse in heaven. Because she was a good horse rider. Now he’s hoping that Josh can be a good neighbor in heaven the way he was here.”

  “I love that guy.” Elle pressed her cheek against his. “Daisy has called me three times in the past week, crying. She tells me she’s worried Carl Joseph will die, because maybe dying is contagious.” Elle sighed. “Other than when our father died, Josh is one of the only people Daisy has ever lost. It’s been hard on her.”

  Cody could only imagine how hard the past few weeks had been on Josh’s family. And if his family did, indeed, include Savannah, then somewhere a little girl had lost her daddy. Whether she knew it or not. There was nothing he could do about the pain Josh’s loss was causing the people around him, but he could do something about the conversation he’d had with Josh on the way home from church. He’d make the call first thing in the morning tomorrow.

  Maybe after that he’d be able to get a good night’s sleep.

  Annie and Nate were at home that night going over the paperwork from the lawyer’s office. Thomas had gone over the documents contesting Savannah’s position as Josh’s heir, and now it was up to them to sign the papers. When they signed and returned the papers to Thomas tomorrow morning, the battle would officially begin.

  A hearing would take place, and evidence would be presented. Annie found another letter from Maria, this one stating in more specific terms that it would cost Josh dearly if he wanted even an afternoon with his daughter. That correspondence would be presented, as would a number of witnesses who could state Josh’s determination to find Savannah and accept her as a daughter, all to no avail because of Maria’s decision to keep that from ever happening.