Love Like Crazy

by Emma Chamberlain

  I drank some liquor and then I drank some more.

  “Careful,” Logan said, taking the bottle away when I went to drink from it again. “You’re gonna drown yourself if you drink that way.”

  I looked down at my dress and reached down to pull it up and off of me. I didn’t care anymore. I felt trapped.

  “Whoa,” Logan said.

  I threw the dress off and slipped down into the pool, pushing off of the wall and swimming away from him.

  It felt better in the water. I had more space and I could think.

  Logan stood up on the side of the pool and pulled is clothes off.

  I smiled and laughed as he leapt toward me and jumped in.

  His arms swooped me up and he held me. “You’re kinda crazy,” he laughed.

  “Yeah,” I laughed too.

  It was fine. He was fine.

  None of this was his fault.

  I rest against his body and let him hold and carry me.

  There wasn’t a remedy for what I was feeling. Laying onto someone and allowing them to care for me was the closest thing. At the very least Logan would touch me and he wanted to touch me. No one else was like that right now and I needed it maybe more than I needed anything.

  I knew that Vic was off somewhere watching me. I knew that she was angry and upset. That she’d want to question me about why I was an asshole.

  I knew that later, she’d probably use Pete to make me feel like shit.

  How I got home was going to be confusing. I should probably just call a car and ditch this scene.

  For now though, I could just rest here. Logan had me.

  Chapter 17

  I woke up when I felt someone in the bed with me. I knew it was Laura from the little noises she made when she got close to me, not to mention that she was the only one that would be climbing in my bed. It was all I wanted earlier and now I wondered why she’d come back like this when I’d freaked her out.

  Her arms were wrapped around my middle and her body moulded to mine. She was wearing a black dress of some kind with a hoodie over it, I’d caught a glimpse when she moved into the light from the window. The hoodie probably wasn’t hers, the smell was different, more masculine.

  She’d been somewhere else. I looked back at her face. She looked a little wild, like she’d been out doing who knows what, probably with Vic. I had a feeling that’s what got her sent to Hanover in the first place. Her hair was a little out of sorts and I fought the urge to reach back and smooth it down.

  “Hey,” I said.

  "Mmm, sorry. Didn't mean to wake you," she breathed.

  “You’re fine. Everything okay?” I asked.

  "Yeah," she sighed. "Sure, why not."

  I laughed. “So, that’s a no. Wanna tell me about it or just want me to shut up and snuggle?” I asked.

  She was the one putting herself close to me like this. I couldn’t blame myself for loving it. I tried not to but guilt still stuck with me. Her presence helped me more than I wanted to admit. I just didn’t know how to reconcile it with my crush. I felt creepy for enjoying this in a different way than she did. She probably just wanted some comfort and I was making it about something else.

  "What's there to tell," she mumbled. "Vic's a jerk. Tonight was awkward and now I'm cold."

  “I’m sorry you had a bad time but I can help with the being cold."

  I snuggled into her more and reached for the duvet I’d thrown off of me when I got hot. I pulled it over our bodies and made sure she was totally covered up to her chin. Her hand was on my stomach so I took it and slid it under my pj shirt, welcoming the shock of the cold from her skin.

  “There,” I said.

  Laura hissed and rubbed my skin. Then she rested her forehead on my back and breathed deeply. "Fuck. You're really warm."

  I smiled and bit my bottom lip, loving her words.

  “Yeah, I got hot earlier so really, you’re helping me out by bringing the cold,” I said.

  I was too aware of her fingers brushing just below my breast. I swallowed and tried to focus on something else.

  “Do you need anything? I can get you some tea or something,” I said.

  "No, this is good," Laura said. "But I should be asking you," she slurred. "You're the sick one. I should help you."

  “I feel better after sleeping. Plus, you’re here now. That helps too,” I admitted.

  "I hope you weren't waiting," Laura said. "I'm not sure what I thought would happen tonight but that sure as hell wasn't it." She had been drinking. I could smell it.

  “Those meds knocked me out so I wasn’t even awake long after you left but I’m really glad you climbed into bed,” I admitted.

  The frustration she had was so clear, like it was just another fucked up thing that happened to her. Her tolerance for that was high, out of necessity. I just wanted to help her but how could I?

  “What happened?” I asked.

  "Bunch of stupid stuff," she muttered. "I thought I was gonna hang out with Vic but she brought Pete and Logan and we ended up at some stupid party with all these people."

  “That’s not fun. Logan is your sort of boyfriend, right?” I asked.

  "Not supposed to be," Laura muttered. "I keep trying to shake him, shake him, but he won't go."

  “Sounds like he really likes you then. Maybe you can just tell him you’re becoming a nun and move to Switzerland,” I joked.

  "That's not much different than what's actually happened," Laura said.

  “True but you don’t have to be celibate here,” I laughed.

  "He can't even visit me here," she whined adorably.

  “Do you want him to visit?” I asked.

  "No," Laura said. "But he's the only person who seems to care about me lately so it's hard to say no."

  “I care about you,” I replied.

  "Mmmm, yea, maybe," she posed. "But would you chase me if I had to leave? Climb some big brick walls and not fight with me like Vic?"

  My stomach got all queasy and I tried to breathe slow to calm down.

  “I would follow you anywhere,” I admitted.

  "People say that but things change when stuff happens. Vic hates me. And I don't care anymore."

  “I don’t say those things. I don’t say anything I don’t mean really. Sometimes when I’m mad I can say things in the heat of the moment but I never say things like I just said. No one has ever made me feel that way,” I said.

  "You're sweet," Laura said, pinching my sides to tickle me and get me to squirm.

  “Hey! Stop that, no fair! You know I’m ticklish,” I complained, laughing all the same.

  "That's. Exactly. The point," she teased as she struggled and, kept tickling me.

  I tried to catch my breath and fight her off but she was determined. In the end I grabbed her wrists but she rolled me onto my back again and hovered above me. Her hair fell forward around our faces and I watched her catch her breath too, wondering what she could be thinking. It couldn’t be what was turning my mind into a mess.

  “I’ve got you now,” I said.

  She panted and struggled. "No, I've got you," she teased, struggling a little, while acting cocky. "Fuck," she laughed and gave up, laying her body down onto mine. "Fine. You win."

  “As usual,” I teased. I let go of her wrists and enjoyed the weight of her on top of me. She smelled like herself but also liquor and something else. “You’re the cute one,” I told her.

  "Uh-uh," she mumbled and fought to keep my hand. "People always say that. It isn't true. I'm not perfect like you."

  I snorted and shook my head. “I’m not perfect. You’re crazy and it is true. You just can’t see it because you’re inside your head, not mine,” I replied.

  "What are you even talking about," she mumbled. Her hand tugged at the collar of my shirt and she sniffed my chest beneath it. "Oh God, you smell good."

  “I’m talking about how attractive you are and not just to look- wait, I smell good?” I blinked and tried to finish my th
oughts. “You’re perfect.”

  "Mmm," she hummed, crawling up on my body more until she was more comfortable and holding my neck with her hand. I felt her nose drag up the other side of me. "Ya know, I thought about you tonight," she whispered all sexy inside my ear.

  I swallowed hard and felt my sex throb. “Fuck,” I whispered. She was so close and talking like that.

  “Thought about me how?” I asked.

  "How do you think," she laughed. "Logan was touching me. I didn't want him to but it made me feel warm and I thought about you."

  “Touching you where?” I asked.

  Surely she didn’t mean what it felt like she meant. I couldn’t calm myself down right now. My hands went to her side, resting on her hips.

  Laura moaned again and felt me. Her body was moving and rubbing on mine. "You know… Everywhere," she panted a little.

  “Oh, like that then. Um, and you thought about me?” I asked.

  It was still hard to believe. She had her guy there touching her and Vic had to be somewhere close. Those were the people she liked. I was just the dork she befriended. The girl that had a major crush on her.

  "Yeah," she laughed. "It came out of nowhere. I think I liked it though. I mean, it worked." I felt her tongue on my neck, tracing circles and sending shocks of attraction all down through my body.

  “You liked it… um,” I mumbled, moving my neck so she could get to more of it.

  Whatever was happening, it was fast and hot. Laura panted near my ear, moaning and tasting me, her whole body on fire with lust and activated.

  I moved my hand to her back and tried to push her closer. I wasn’t thinking. That was impossible now that she was doing things like this to me. This was new and I didn’t know it could feel like this. I heard a moan come out of me when she sucked at the skin of my neck. I’d never made noises like that either.

  "Fuck," Laura croaked.

  She started to kiss down my neck and chest. A hand of hers brushed down onto my breast and squeezed it.

  I pushed my body up and tried to get more contact. Instinct was all I had now. She was killing my brain. I clung to her with my hand and panted, letting little noises of frustration out every few seconds. I wanted her everywhere.

  "Why are you wearing clothes," she whined.

  “Um, because I didn’t know you’d mind,” I laughed. I pulled at the hoodie she was wearing. “Why are you wearing clothes?” I asked back.

  "I dunno," she whined. Then she sat up on my waist and undid her hoodie. Her body was too much and I watched it.

  Laura's eyes looked hungry as she tugged the fabric off. Her legs moved a little and her fingers groped for her dress. I watched the fabric rise, exposing her naked stomach and the top of her chest.

  Once she was free from the fabric she crawled back down onto my body. Surprising me, her lips found mine. Before I even knew what to do she was touching me again and her tongue was inside.

  I kissed her back and it felt natural, perfect, except I didn't know why she was doing it. I forgot for a second and moved against her gaining friction and reaching out for her face, trying out everything she was doing to me. I did it right back to her.

  "Take your clothes off," she whined. "I wanna touch you." Her lips kissed down my neck again and her hands roamed and touched. It was all sloppy and fevered.

  "Laura," I said.

  "Huh," she panted, breathing into me.

  I held her face and frowned.

  "Maybe we shouldn't," I said.

  I was so tempted just to carry on and do this but it was the first time. She was in no state and I wanted this to be special.

  "You're drunk," I said.

  "Oh," she laughed. It was a large huff of remembrance. "Yeah," she said, kissing my skin once and twice. "You- you're right," she swallowed and collapsed down onto my skin. "I can stop," she said, panting a little until she was relaxed against me.

  “I don’t want you too,” I whispered. Then I pet her naked back.

  "Its okay," she breathed, easily exhausted now.

  “Don’t get me wrong. I really liked it. It was kind of wonderful,” I admitted.

  "Just not enough," Laura muttered. All the strength in her was drained and her breathing deepened to the point that I knew she had fallen asleep.

  I sighed and let her sleep. She was so wrong and I was so confused now. It was all I wanted but she might not mean it. I had no idea if she really liked me or if I was just there. She said she thought about me but what did that even mean? I wasn’t going to get much sleep.

  The way my brain worked would keep me up for hours, trying to figure this out from all angles but without all the information. She was the only one who could tell me. She was mad at Vic and she wasn’t into Logan anymore. That had to be why. She thought about me though or she said she had. Maybe she’d meant Vic.

  I tried to rest but I just ended up counting the little points of light that appeared on the ceiling when the light outside shone through the window blinds at night. I don’t know when I fell asleep but I did. She hadn’t moved much and when I woke up, she was still on my body. We were bundled together like tangled yarn. I knew it would be different as soon as she woke up so I lay still and felt her body on mine, the pressure and the comfort of it. Without clothes, I just smelled her skin and the mix of her perfume and shampoo.

  At one point she shifted on top of me and breathed deep. Her body moved a little and she looked down on me. Once she noticed I was awake and beneath her, she laughed and smiled. "Sorry," she said, moving off of my body to rest beside me and bury her face in my pillow. "Rough night."

  “Yeah? What happened?” I asked.

  I felt cold now so I pulled the duvet over me. She didn’t seem too surprised that she was still basically naked.

  "I dunno honestly," Laura groaned. "I hope I didn't annoy you last night. God, Vic was such a jerk. I can't get over it."

  “You didn’t annoy me. You did the opposite but what did she do?”

  "Nothing. She's just terrible," Laura said. She got up from the bed and started to dress in her Hanover clothes. "I better get to breakfast before they send the cops out. You want?"

  “No, I’m fine,” I said.

  She wasn’t even going to mention the kissing and asking me to take my clothes off thing. I just lay there, watching her, not knowing what to say. She really had meant she’d been thinking of Vic last night. She kept talking about her. I could still feel her kiss and her hands on me.

  Fuck.

  "I'll bring you back something anyway," she smirked. "I wish I could stay in with you but no one on earth is going to believe that I'm actually sick. They all think I'm just trouble."

  “Um, okay but when you come back for the day we should probably talk about the kissing thing?” I put out there.

  "Uh, yeah, sure," she said, pulling my team hoodie out of the closet and putting it on. "What kissing thing?"

  "You kissing me last night and doing, uh, other things with me,” I said, blushing.

  "Huh! Yeah, I wish," she teased, beaming and blushing as she swung her way out of the apartment, completely amused.

  “But!” She was gone so I didn’t even try to finish the sentence. I just lay back and sulked.

  Then, I pulled out my phone to text Abby. She was the only one I could trust with this kind of news.

  Charli: Hey. So… Laura kissed me last night and I don’t know what it means. I mean, we did some other stuff too.

  Abby: WHAT? Tell me more immediately.

  Charli: Don’t tell Lindsey. I don’t want her saying anything to Laura and I definitely don’t want her making fun of me and telling me I told you so. Anyway, she came back after she snuck out to hang out with her friend and told me that she had been with this guy she dated and he was touching her and then she thought about me and then she started kissing my neck and stuff.

  Abby: I hate keeping stuff from Linz but for you I’ll do it. If I wasn’t at breakfast I’d squeel right now. So, did you guys hav
e sex?

  Charli: Uh, no. I stopped it. She was drunk and I’d feel like an asshole if I hadn’t said something. We just made out some and she took her clothes off. Abby, she’s so fucking hot.

  Abby: OMG no way! You did the right thing but she did say she thought about you so you know there’s something there.

  Charli: Really? You don’t think that could have just been the alcohol?

  Abby: Come on. Alcohol can’t put ideas in your head like that. It just makes you more willing to think about them and act on them. I bet you that’s what happened.

  Charli: I don’t know. She kept talking about Vic and you know she’s totally in love with her. She hasn’t acted like she likes me that way. I’ve felt weird crushing on her and living with her without her knowing.

  Abby: Where is she now?

  Abby: Never mind! I just saw her in the breakfast line. Aww, she has two containers. She’s obviously either really hungry or she’s bringing you something. So cute.

  Charli: She’s just being nice. She told me she was bringing me back food but she also acted like the whole thing last night didn’t happen even though she woke up on top of me naked.

  Abby: Did you say anything?

  Charli: Yeah, of course but she was weird. She just said something like “I wish” and left.

  Abby: Oh nooooooo, maybe she doesn’t remember. Did she seem that drunk?

  Charli: No but I don’t know how drunk you have to be to black out. I don’t know. I was going to talk to her again later but do you think I should or should I just see if she brings it up.

  Abby: If you want to talk about it then bring it up. There’s no use being miserable and not knowing.

  Charli: Okay, maybe.

  Abby: Omg just do it. Oh, gotta go. Lindsey is asking me who I’m talking to.

  Charli: Text me later. We should hang out, maybe by ourselves? Maybe it was all a dream and I’m freaking out for nothing.

  Abby: Yeah we can. I can’t wait to hear more. Loves you, fraaaaaand. So glad you finally got kissed! AND IT WASN’T A DREAM. You don’t have good dreams, remember?

  Charli: Have a good day and yeah… I don’t.

  I put my phone down and chewed on my bottom lip. My first kiss ever was from my drunk roommate that I had a crush on. This was the kind of crap they put on sitcoms. I huffed and smacked my hands against the bed. This was ridiculous.