Unsuitable

by Lavinia Kent

  That explained how Amelia knew. “I’m honestly not even sure about this. Is my life ready for a puppy?” It was still far better to talk about dogs than about Clay.

  “You know it is. It would have been easier while there was staff, but I have a feeling you’ll manage fine on your own. You spend so much time at home that it will be perfect.”

  But what if that changed? Did she want a puppy when she was in the midst of making so many decisions? Could she even think of accepting such a gift? Purebred puppies weren’t cheap and she would have been happy with a rescue. “I’m still not sure. I know I’ve been home alone a lot the last few years, but I was thinking it was time I get out more. Actually, I was thinking about going to school. You know I’ve always felt strange about not going to college.”

  Amelia was silent for a moment. “I do know that. And I’ve always thought it was silly. You’re a better reader than anyone else I know, and from what I’ve seen with you working with the foundation, you’ve a good mind for business. You have nothing to feel inferior about.”

  “I know, but somehow it comes up and I feel strange. I should probably have gone years ago…”

  “But you were too busy taking care of Daddy. And I know he sometimes discouraged you, wanting you all to himself. But if it’s what you want to do now, you should do it. Maybe you can get a business degree and come to work for the company. You know you’d be welcome.”

  Jordan smiled to herself. “Will you forgive me if I say thanks, but no thanks? I was thinking of social work and maybe starting a new charity, something I could be truly involved in running.”

  “Really?” It was impossible not to miss the surprise in Amelia’s voice.

  “Really. But it’s just a thought. I’m not about to do anything suddenly.”

  “Considering it’s been years since Dad died, I don’t think anyone will think you are acting with undo haste.”

  She really did need that glass of wine. And she really did need to say more about Clay and their relationship, but she’d give it another moment. “That’s true in theory, but it’s only the last few weeks that I’ve truly been thinking of what I want to do with my future.” Jordan laughed softly. “I sound like I did in high school.”

  “No, you don’t. Or if you do, it’s not a bad way to sound. I’ve always thought that you enjoyed being at home, but I completely understand if you are looking for more.”

  “I did enjoy being home, caring for you and your father, although I know at nine you thought you were past needing my care.”

  “That’s not true and you know it. I just wasn’t quite ready for you as a mom, but I was more than ready for you as a new best friend, more like a big sister. And I always knew you made Dad happy.”

  It pleased Jordan to hear Amelia say that. “In any case, it’s a very different thing now that I live alone. A woman can only spend so many hours working in the garden and reading.”

  “You do have A Place for Family. I know you work hard for them.”

  “Yes, but it doesn’t really take much time and most of that I could still accomplish no matter what else I’m doing. It’s not like I throw the parties myself or personally visit each family. Do I sound like I’m complaining? I do appreciate how lucky I am, how good my life is.”

  “You don’t sound like you’re complaining at all. I understand. But don’t think I haven’t noticed how completely you’ve changed the subject. I still don’t understand why Clay is getting you a dog. It doesn’t make sense.”

  She couldn’t deny that. “Maybe he’s trying to be a nice guy.”

  “Why do I feel like you’re avoiding something, Jordan?”

  “He wants to see me.”

  “Clay? As in date? Isn’t he kind of young for you? I mean, he’s only a few months older than me.”

  “Yes, he’s young, but I’m not talking marriage. And yes, I guess kind of date. I don’t know the right terms for relationships these days.”

  “Don’t make it sound like you’re a hundred and two.”

  “Sometimes I feel like it.” And sometimes even older, as everyone kept mentioning just how young Clay was.

  “But you’re avoiding the real question. Do you want to see him?”

  Did she? Really, she was already kind of dating him, but what did she actually want? “Maybe. How would you feel about that?”

  There was a long, long pause. “I’m not sure. It does seem weird. I mean, like I said, he’s my age. But it seems silly to be upset about you seeing some boy I used to date, when I’m about to marry the woman of my dreams. And I have to admit that part of why I was so upset when he ended it was because it made me confront what I wanted and I wasn’t quite ready for that.”

  “That makes some sense.”

  “I guess I’m okay if you see him. I always knew he thought you were smokin’.”

  Had it really been that obvious and she’d never noticed it? Granted, she had been distracted by her husband’s health. “If you say so. You’re sure you’re okay with it?”

  “I think so. You know what? I’m going to call him and then I’ll let you know.”

  The call ended abruptly.

  Holy hell.

  She frantically dialed Clay’s number.

  No answer. Was he not there or was he already on the phone?

  She went to pour herself a large glass of wine and settled into a chair overlooking the ocean. If she was stuck waiting, she might as well think more about her future plans.

  * * *

  —

  “Amelia’s going to call you to ask about us,” Jordan squeaked when she finally reached him.

  Clay swung his feet up on the desk in his office. “She already did.”

  “She what?”

  “Was that a squawk? It sounded like you squawked.”

  He heard the sound of a deep breath. “Don’t tease me. What did you say?”

  “Not as much as I would have liked. I told her the truth, at least mostly.”

  “And what is the truth exactly?”

  “That I got you a puppy because I wanted to and that I had only the best intentions toward you. That I’ve always remembered you fondly and was enjoying getting reacquainted.”

  “But…?”

  “But what? Mostly she questioned why I’d gotten you a dog you hadn’t actually asked for. She seemed more concerned about that than if we might be dating. And I do admit it was a bit presumptuous. Do you want me to call the breeder and say you don’t want her?”

  “I…” Her voice was full of hesitation.

  “Look, Jordan, I know I should have talked to you first, but the idea took me and I couldn’t get past it. Can I at least come over and show you the pictures? She’ll be ready to come home in a week. She’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen and I’m not one to croon over baby animals.”

  “You could send me a picture.”

  “I could but I’m not going to. Do you want me to come over?”

  Silence.

  “Jordan?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “I’d really like to. You’ve come over to my place enough.”

  “I’m not sure that I want you here, at the house.”

  He’d had the feeling that was the case, but still, it put him in his place. “Jordan…”

  “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to play games, but I told you I wanted to keep this a secret, to keep our relationship quiet. What else did you say to Amelia? What else did she ask?”

  “Not much. It sounds like you told her enough before I even started talking to her. It was strange speaking with her. We haven’t done more than nod at each other since we broke up. It actually felt good. I realize I’ve missed her.”

  There wasn’t much she could say to that. “You’re right. It felt wrong keeping secrets from her. I didn’t
want to get involved with you if it would hurt her.”

  “I think that we were already involved.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  He resisted the urge to give her a hard time. “Yes, you’re right, but even more importantly, if she knows, why do we need to keep it quiet?”

  “Do I really need to explain? Can’t you just accept that’s how I feel? I just want it private for now.”

  He wanted to say Yes, you do need to explain, but knew he’d get further in person. “Fine, for now. You do know when you come to my place anybody could see you.”

  “I know. That may have been a mistake, but I can’t help myself. We’ll have to figure out someplace to meet where nobody will see us.”

  God, every time he felt like he was making progress she pushed him back. “I really don’t think that’s necessary. You’ve already been here a few times. My doorman isn’t going to tell anyone.”

  “I don’t want to take chances. It’s easy to explain a few visits, regular ones are something else.”

  At least she was thinking rationally. “Do you want me to rent someplace or are you contemplating a hotel? You make me feel like your mistress.”

  A small laugh. That was a good sign.

  “You’re hardly that. And I know I’m making this too complicated, but maybe we could take a trip…no, I don’t have time for that, especially if I have a new puppy. I hear they take up a lot of time. A hotel isn’t a bad idea, but even so, we’ll have to come up with some reason we’re meeting…Oh, actually, I have an idea that might help with another notion I’ve had. Do you still own that factory, the one on the island near here?”

  “Yes. The one my grandfather started. It makes hairbrushes and such. Why?”

  “Hairbrushes. I guess I knew that, but I’d forgotten. Anyway, I have this idea and I’m looking for help. I suppose we could make arrangements to talk about that. It would make sense and it is something I really do need help with.”

  “You’re sounding very mysterious.”

  “I don’t mean to. But I’d rather explain in person.”

  “Then it sounds like I should come there.”

  A very long silence.

  He waited.

  A sigh. “Yes, you can come here. I’ll give you tea and everything.”

  “Tea? How about some of that coffee you make?” His mind filled with memories, sticky flesh, the sweep of tongues, lifting her to the counter…

  “Coffee?” Her voice trembled.

  She was thinking exactly what he was.

  “Yes, coffee. And maybe something to nibble on. Perhaps you can suggest where I should put my teeth.”

  “Teeth?”

  “And tongue.”

  He could hear her breathing. Fast.

  “Okay.” And that was all.

  “I’ll be there in an hour, two at most.”

  A pause. “No, not tonight. It’s late. Tomorrow.”

  His turn to be quiet, then, “Fine. I’ll be there in the morning.”

  * * *

  —

  Well, that had been simple. Jordan stared at the phone in her hand. Still unsettled by his conversation with Amelia, she’d given in too easily. It would have been better to meet him somewhere else. She didn’t want him in her home. She didn’t want those memories here. This place was hers and hers alone.

  So why had she said yes to him coming here?

  Did that mean she wanted him here? Did she want him in her bed? She knew that was where this would end up. And once he’d been here she’d never be able to forget him as she drifted off to sleep.

  At least she’d put it off for a day, although her body did not feel the same way. She stood and paced to the kitchen, pouring another glass of red wine. Her skin felt alive, alive and needy. Her whole body a mass of shivers.

  She took a deep draw on the wine. Oh, that was good. It wouldn’t calm her nerves, nothing would do that, but it was a first step.

  Clay was coming here.

  She looked about the homey room, at the wood cabinets and marble counters. They were broader than the ones in Clay’s condo; she’d be able to lean back farther, have more traction, she’d…

  Was she really thinking about having sex in her kitchen? He hadn’t even been in her house yet and already she was seeing it differently. It was an uncomfortable feeling. Should she call him and tell him no, that she’d meet him somewhere else, somewhere in the city, not here in Forbidden Cove? The city was safer, more anonymous.

  Only, she did want him here. Did she want to see him in her space, see how he reacted to her life? She thought it was sex, just sex, but she needed to be sure, needed to know. She didn’t want it to be more than sex, but she was thinking about him far too much, liking him far too much. If it was just sex, she’d be able to put it behind her, but if was more than that…

  * * *

  —

  The clock on the mantel was chiming ten the next morning when she heard a car crunch on the gravel in the driveway.

  He was here.

  She walked into the kitchen, pointedly not focusing on the counters, and hit the button on the already prepared coffeemaker. Brushing her sweater down over her hips, she walked to the front door and pulled it open.

  Clay stood in the center of her driveway, next to a sleek Jaguar XJ, staring about, turning in a slow circle.

  At the sound of the door he turned. “It’s beautiful here. I can see why you moved, although it is much less grand.”

  “I wanted something smaller, more cozy, though I realize this isn’t really small. I didn’t need all that space anymore and it was a lot to take care of even if I wasn’t doing it myself. I like it here. I have a gardening crew that comes in and someone to help with the cleaning a few days a week, but that’s it. And I love living on the water. That was the one thing I didn’t want to change. It would probably have been more sensible to buy something in town, but I need my morning beach walk. It’s how I set myself up for the day. I go out almost every morning, even if the weather is poor. I’ve been known to go out in thunderstorms and— I’m rambling. I don’t know why. I’m not nervous, or I don’t think I am. Maybe it’s because I’m scared you’ll laugh at the idea I want to talk to you about.” She forced herself to stop talking and smoothed her sweater again.

  “I completely understand about the space. When I first really made my own money, as a trader, before I took over from my father, I thought I’d buy myself a whole floor to live in. I had such grand plans, but then I walked through these huge apartments and realized I didn’t need all that space. I’m not claiming that where I live is small but…”

  Jordan nodded. “But it’s not a bunch of empty rooms that you never use. Even when Amelia was still at home, the house was bigger than the three of us actually needed. It was great for entertaining, but we did that at most a few times a year.”

  “I’ve always preferred renting a space when I want to have a party. I don’t like strangers in my home.”

  “It’s funny you say that. I never minded it in the big house, maybe because it was Mark’s before it was mine, but here I’m careful about who I invite over.”

  “Is that why you weren’t sure I should come?” His slight irritation was clear in his creased brow.

  “Can I say it’s complicated? I know that gets used way too often these days, but I can’t think of a better way to put it.”

  He paused, thought. “I get that. Now, how about you show me around the yard and the beach before we go in? I could use the chance to stretch after the drive.”

  “Oh, I just made coffee.” And didn’t that have more meaning than she’d meant.

  “I’m sure it will keep.”

  “Yes, it will, although it is best right after it’s brewed. But I suppose we don’t intend to walk for hours. Or do we?”

&nbs
p; “I certainly hadn’t planned on it.”

  Maybe it would be easier to talk to him if they were walking. She’d always liked moving while she worked through difficult problems. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t I pour the coffee into travel cups and we can drink it while we walk.” That would also get them talking before anything else happened. “I should tell you that you’re making me break my diet. I normally only use the condensed milk as a special treat. Weekdays are for soy milk and stevia.”

  She felt his eyes move over her, pausing at her hips.

  “Well, that sounds horrible and it’s not like you need to lose weight. You’ve always been perfect.”

  “You’re not the one trying to fit into my jeans.”

  “I’d be happy to try.”

  “Stop it. You stay here. I’ll get the coffee.”

  “I’m happy to come with you.”

  “I think we’re both safer if you stay out of my kitchen.” Did everything she said have to sound so dirty? The words were completely innocent.

  Clay laughed. “Who wants to be safe?”

  She stopped and looked right in his eyes. “I really do want to talk to you, Clay.”

  “Fine, I’ll wait. Do you mind if I walk about?”

  “Not at all. I’ll only be a moment.”

  “Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”

  “What does that mean? I’ve always wondered.”

  “I’m not really sure, but I’ve always thought it might be literal—the time it takes for a lamb to shake its tail twice. It’s something my mother used to say.”

  “Well, I’ll probably be longer than that.” His mother. She’d once known his mother well. Alice was only about ten years older than her. When they’d first met, Alice had been a year or so older than Jordan was now.

  With slightly shaking hands, she poured the coffee into the tall tumblers and added the milk. It seemed like everything either reminded her of how young he was or how much she wanted to have sex with him. It was a very weird combination.