Where I'm Going

by Parker Elliot

  “Oh my God, Benji, did you drive us? You had as much to drink as I did.”

  Benji laughed. “I didn’t have nearly as much to drink as you did, for the record. But no, I had Chase’s driver come back and get us after he dropped Chase off. I don’t think either one of us had any business driving tonight. Plus, it’s nice to chill in a limo sometimes, don’t you think?”

  “I would think that, if I could remember it.” Reign furrowed his brow as Benji opened the door and ushered him inside. “Are you sure I was in the limo with you?”

  “Pretty sure. You kept trying to give me a handjob, remember?”

  “That’s not true,” Reign said, feeling his face flush. “Is it?”

  “Scout’s honor,” Benji held up his hand. “But don’t worry. I was a gentleman. Mostly.”

  “That’s too bad, because I’d really like to do more than that.” Reign’s eyes went wide as he heard his own words, and he clapped a hand over his mouth but it was too late. The damage had been done.

  Benji shook his head, but Reign could see the heat flare in his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think it’s best if you got some rest. Maybe after you sleep this off a little…”

  “Are you sure?” Reign let his hands travel down Benji’s body, satisfied with the small groan that escaped Benji’s lips as Reign went lower and lower. “Because I don’t wanna go to sleep right now.”

  There was no doubt in Reign’s mind that he’d had too much to drink, but it didn’t matter. Everything he was saying was true. Everything he was doing was exactly what he’d been wanting to do since the minute Benji had touched down in Dallas.

  The only difference was that Reign probably wouldn’t have asked if he’d been sober.

  Probably.

  “I don’t wanna sleep,” Reign repeated, palming Benji’s cock through the fabric of his pants. “I want you to fuck me. Now.”

  He heard a low rumble in Benji’s chest, and then Benji’s arms were around him again, running up and down his back, pulling him closer. Benji moved a hand up and around the back of Reign’s neck, supporting him and tilting his head back slightly.

  And when Benji’s mouth captured Reign’s, when his tongue caressed Reign’s, when their bodies were pressed so tightly together that Reign could feel the intense friction of Benji’s cock rubbing against his own—it was sensory overload.

  “Oh my God, Benji,” Reign gasped, pulling his head back just enough to get the words out. “Please. Please fuck me now.”

  “Are you sure?” The words were low and thick with desire, and even though Reign could plainly see the lust burning in Benji’s eyes, he had no doubt that Benji would’ve stopped right then and there and tucked him into bed if Reign had asked.

  But that was the last thing Reign wanted. He wanted Benji. Naked. On top of him. Inside of him. And he couldn’t wait any longer.

  “Yes, absolutely sure,” Reign gasped as Benji scooped him up into his arms. “It’s the only thing I’m sure of.”

  With just four long strides, Benji had carried him from the living room to the bedroom, and after carefully maneuvering the two of them through the doorway, he gently set Reign on the bed.

  Reign was immediately up again, though, wasting no time pulling off his shirt and unbuttoning his pants.

  For all of Reign’s rushing, though, Benji was moving maddeningly slow. “You seem to be on a mission,” he said, smirking as he watched Reign nearly topple over while stepping out of his pants.

  Reign only paused long enough to look Benji up and down. “I am on a mission. And you need to get naked. Because I need you to fuck me.”

  Those last words got Benji moving faster, and Reign moaned in anticipation when Benji finally—finally—shoved his pants and underwear down in one swift motion, sending his thick cock bouncing up to slap against his stomach.

  “Oh my God, yes,” Reign whispered, watching Benji’s muscles bunch and flex as Benji moved closer while slowly stroking his cock.

  Reign only tore his eyes away long enough to lean across the bed and grab a condom and lube from the bedside table.

  Benji took the condom from him and began putting it on while Reign coated his fingers with lube and pressed them against his tight opening. He moaned again as Benji lubed up his cock. Reign had waited for weeks for this moment, and just the thought of Benji being inside him was pushing him close to the edge.

  “Are you ready,” Benji asked, leaning in for another quick kiss.

  Reign put his arms around Benji and pulled him down onto the bed next to him so that their bodies were pressed against each other. The feel of Benji’s naked skin against his own was unbelievable, but Reign needed more.

  “So ready,” he said, pushing Benji onto his back and swinging a leg over him.

  Reign only stopped for a moment when he was perched on top of Benji, straddling his chest. He looked down into Benji’s eyes and knew in that instant that what they were doing was so perfect and so right, everything that Reign had been missing.

  “So ready,” he repeated, reaching behind him as he eased back to line Benji’s cock up with his eager hole.

  He moaned loudly as Benji’s cock pressed against him, not even ashamed that he was whimpering and begging and pushing himself against Benji as that thick cock stretched him and slid past his tight ring of muscle.

  “You feel so good, Reign. So tight.”

  Words failed Reign as he rocked back to meet Benji’s hips, letting his hands roam all over the wide expanse of Benji’s muscular chest as Benji pushed deeper and deeper with each thrust.

  Benji reached down and grabbed Reign’s cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts, making Reign gasp and pant as he was stimulated inside and out by Benji’s cock and his hands and his gorgeous hard body.

  The sounds of their bodies slapping against each other filled the room, and Reign could feel the orgasm building inside of him as Benji kept driving his cock harder and deeper.

  “Oh my God,” Reign panted. “I don’t think I can hold back much longer.”

  “Don’t hold back, babe. Come for me. Come with me.”

  And that was all Reign needed to hear.

  His entire body shuddered as the climax hit him like a wave, spilling out onto Benji’s chest as his muscles tightened around the base of Benji’s cock.

  “Yes,” Benji gasped. “Yes, I’m coming, babe.”

  Reign could feel that already huge cock swell even larger inside of him as Benji’s orgasm rocked through both of them.

  For several long seconds, Benji held him there in place as they both struggled to catch their breath. Then, slowly, gently, Benji slid out of him, leaving Reign to collapse against his chest, both of their bodies still hot and slick with a light sheen of sweat.

  Reign didn’t care about any of that, though. He was right where he belonged, and he didn’t want that moment to ever end.

  There were three things that Reign knew when he opened his eyes and immediately closed them again.

  One, that it was somehow morning. Or maybe afternoon. Okay, so he didn’t know that one for sure.

  But the second thing was that he had the worst splitting headache he’d ever experienced. That was a definite.

  The third thing he knew was that neither of those other things mattered, because Benji was in bed next to him, with his strong, muscular arms wrapped so tightly and securely around Reign that everything else was going to be okay.

  God, how drunk had he been last night? Drunk enough that most of the night was a blur, apparently. Reign didn’t remember how he got home, or when, or some of the things that came before that. He did remember everything that came after, though.

  Every. Single. Detail.

  And he had zero regrets about any of it. Well, maybe he would have quit drinking before those last couple of shots if he had it all to do over, but that was pretty much the only thing about the previous night he would’ve changed.

  Everything with Benji, though? Perfect. Better than
perfect, whatever that word was.

  So, okay, maybe the only other regret was that he couldn’t have that better-than-perfect feeling everyday. That he couldn’t have Benji there everyday.

  Benji stirred against him, as if Reign’s thoughts had made him wake up.

  “Good morning,” Benji mumbled, planting a kiss on Reign’s forehead.

  Reign could feel Benji’s lips form a smile against his skin, and Reign instinctively returned the smile. Something about Benji made it impossible for Reign to avoid walking around with a goofy grin on his face twenty-four-seven. It was one of the many, many things that Reign loved about the man.

  “Is it morning? It doesn’t feel like we were asleep long enough for it to be morning.”

  Benji’s chest rose and fell with his quiet laughter as he kissed Reign again, this time pulling him closer and letting his hands roam a little bit over Reign’s naked back and ass.

  “I’m surprised you’re awake this early, after the night you had,” Benji said.

  Reign wasn’t sure if Benji was talking about the liquor or the sex—maybe both. But either way, he had a good point. It had been a lot. But it had also been the most fun and the most free that Reign had felt in a long, long time.

  “Hm, I don’t think I’ll be drinking again for a while,” Reign said. “But last night was good. It was fun.”

  “It was fun. I’m glad we had that time together. I’m glad for this whole week. But—”

  “I know,” Reign said, cutting him off. He didn’t want to hear what came next, even though he knew exactly what it would be. Their time together had been perfect, and Reign definitely wasn’t ready for it to be over, but there was just no getting around it. “But I want you to know that I don’t regret last night, even if it can’t happen again.”

  “I don’t regret it either. I just wish things could be different. If Dallas was closer to Nashville, or if we both didn’t have the things that tie us down—things that we love, I mean.”

  “It’s okay,” Reign said. “I get it. And I feel the same way. I want more—with you. But I don’t see how we get there from here.”

  “Me, neither. I want to stay close to you, though. To at least stay in touch. It kills me that I can’t have more, but since I can’t, I really, really want your friendship.”

  Reign nodded as he blinked hard to hold back the tears that would be coming any moment. He was determined not to cry while Benji was still there. There would be plenty of time for tears after he was gone.

  “You’ve already got it,” Reign said. “For as long as you want it, you’ve got my friendship.”

  “Can we stay like this for just a while longer?” Benji asked, his voice breaking on the last word. “I know we have to get up and go to the airport soon, but… just for a little while?”

  “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  Reign buried his face against Benji’s chest as Benji pulled him closer. There were so many things he was going to miss about having Benji there, but that closeness, that feel of their bodies against each other—that was going to be one of the hardest things to forget.

  So Reign tried not to think about how much he would miss it later that night, and tomorrow, and next week. Instead, he was determined to savor each remaining minute that they had together, as if it might never happen again.

  Because, if he was being honest, he didn’t think it ever would.

  25

  Benji

  Even though it had barely been three hours since he’d left Reign in Dallas, it had felt like years. Like a lifetime. An eternity. And it might as well have been that long, because Benji didn’t know when or if they would ever have a chance to see each other again.

  Another trip so soon after two vacations was really out of the question, and he couldn’t exactly expect that Reign would leave his bar for another big chunk of time, especially now that there was a good chance he could actually turn things around there.

  Reign walked through the door of his dark condo, the muffled sounds of traffic several stories below the only sounds he could hear. There was no sweet, cheerful voice waiting to greet him. No beautiful, breathtaking smile.

  No Reign.

  Of course there wouldn’t be. He hadn’t been expecting anyone to be there waiting for him when he got home—but that was sort of the problem. It was something he’d become accustomed to during his too-brief time with Reign, even though he’d known then that it wasn’t something he would ever realistically have back in Nashville.

  The silent condo with everything just as he’d left it a week before only confirmed that. Benji was alone now, and that wasn’t likely to change anytime soon.

  Maybe not ever.

  He set his suitcase down in the bedroom, not bothering to unpack yet. That could wait until later, when he was miserable and bored, desperate for anything that might distract his thoughts. He hadn’t hit that point yet, though. So far, he was just… numb.

  Reign pulled out his phone and sent off a quick text to Reign, letting him know he’d made it home safely. He resisted the urge to add anything extra, just keeping it short and simple. If that was going to be the way their friendship worked, he might as well get used to the parameters now.

  It took a few minutes before he got a response, and when he did, the text was as simple and basic as the one Benji had sent. He’d been half-hoping that Reign would’ve asked him to turn around and go back to Dallas, or that he’d say he was already on his way to Nashville.

  He hadn’t really expected either of those messages, though. And anyway, he hadn’t received either of them. All Reign sent back was a simple acknowledgment. Nothing more, nothing less.

  Nothing that would’ve indicated they’d been lying naked in each other’s arms that very morning. But that was for the best, right? That was really the only way either of them was going to get some distance and perspective about their complicated friendship.

  Right?

  As Benji sunk down onto his worn couch and shoved a hand back through his hair, it finally hit him. The vacation—and everything that went along with it—was really over. What he and Reign had in Anguilla and then again in Dallas hadn’t been real life. Not even close.

  It had been a great fantasy, mixed with a little piece of heaven and something else that they both should have known was actually unattainable. Impractical. Impossible.

  Their time together had been a really nice escape from the boring routine, the rut that Benji’s life had become. But he was foolish to think that it could’ve ever been anything but a little break. Successful men his age didn’t just up and move across the country on a whim. Everyone else he knew was already settled down, happily married, content in the knowledge that they’d found exactly what they’d been looking for.

  Meanwhile, Benji was sitting alone on the verge of crying over someone he never should have let himself fall for in the first place.

  Clearly, the best thing he could do was to try and put Reign out of his mind. He’d failed miserably at that the last time he’d tried, but that had been before Dallas, when he’d still been holding onto hope for some kind of miracle. Or some kind of sign. Or something.

  But nothing had come through, and now it was time to be an adult and be practical. Holding onto the infatuation that they had for each other wouldn’t do either of them any good. They both had lives to lead, after all. Separate lives. They couldn’t spend every waking hour wondering about what might have been.

  Benji had plenty of responsibilities that he’d been shirking lately, and it was time to get back on track with those, too. No doubt Gloria—and probably Chase, too—would be glad to hear that he’d be in the office more.

  He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly as he came to the conclusion that he would get through this the same way he’d managed to get through every other hard time he’d had in life. The only way he knew how. He would just have to put his head down and work.

  Work had always been his escape, the one thing he could control. It had a formula t
hat was simple to understand—hard work equals a rewarding life. Up until he’d met Reign, he’d believed that wholeheartedly. It hadn’t been until he’d had a taste of something more that he’d even realized something had been missing.

  So, while it might not be the best strategy, it had helped him get through his first thirty years, so it couldn’t be totally wrong. And really, it was all he had. If he couldn’t have Reign, he’d just have to go back to the kind of happiness he had before. The incomplete-but-still-rewarding kind.

  If he was being honest, maybe that version of himself wasn’t so bad, after all. Maybe it was better to be a boring workaholic than to have his heart broken into a million pieces over and over by circumstances that he had no control over.

  Benji stood up and crossed the room to look out the window, watching as the people below hurried about their business. They all had problems of their own that he didn’t know about, and in the grand scheme of things, his problems were just as insignificant to the rest of the world.

  Which meant that maybe there was a chance he’d be able to get over them, no matter how unlikely that felt at the moment. Giving himself a pep talk was one thing, but putting all of those thoughts and words into action was another.

  Getting over Reign wasn’t going to be easy, but it was going to be necessary. Necessary for Benji’s heart, for his work, for his mind, and for his sanity.

  And he would get over Reign. Maybe. Someday.

  Not tonight, though.

  26

  Reign

  Reign couldn’t help but smile as he finished counting the money from the bar’s cash register. It had been a long night—they all were lately—but he definitely preferred the long, busy nights over what they had before.

  “Another good night?” Jenny asked, walking in and collapsing into the armchair in the corner by his desk. “My feet are telling me it must have been. I don’t think I’ve run around like that since the night of the concert.”