Christmas at Black Cherry Retreat

by Angela Britnell

  ‘Thanks for telling us that.’ Tom slipped an arm around his father’s shoulder. ‘It means a lot. And you’re right, we do need to get busy. I don’t want Mee Maw to torment me because I left a weed in her precious flower beds.’ His gruffness betrayed the emotions shimmering under the surface of his weak smile.

  They all returned to their assigned jobs and Fee was handed a clean yellow duster and told to go into the living room and help Rayna.

  ‘Do you mind dusting Mee Maw’s thimble collection while I do the glasses?’

  ‘Good grief. How many are there?’ She stared in horror at the glass-fronted display cabinets dotted around the walls.

  ‘At last count I think she had around five hundred.’ Rayna grinned. ‘Tom built the cabinets for her. He’s good with his hands.’

  ‘He certainly is,’ Fee agreed. ‘Have you seen the incredible dolls’ house he’s making for Lulu?’

  Rayna shook her head. ‘I’m sure it’ll be amazing.’

  ‘It is. Makes me wish I was a little girl.’

  ‘Me too. My all-time favourite present was the roller skates I got when I was six. I managed to skin my knees before Christmas dinner and rip my new dress. Mama sure was mad.’ She laughed. ‘What was your best present?’

  ‘Um, nothing really stands out.’ She remembered the disappointing Christmases of her childhood. Holidays always took a back seat to the latest man in her mother’s life or the plight of whatever endangered species Maddy was passionate about that particular week. She often overheard her school friends discussing what they wanted for Christmas but avoided joining in because the chances were the day would be just like any other for her. The first and only “normal” Christmas dinner they had was at Will’s house in Cornwall one year when he cooked roast turkey with all the trimmings. It had amazed her on Christmas morning to wake up and find a stocking stuffed with presents at the foot of her bed.

  ‘Tom says y’all are going to visit your mother next week and then travel around Europe.’

  Fee began to take the thimbles out onto the table one shelf at a time ready to be dusted so she could put them back in the right order. ‘Yes.’

  ‘Does your mom live in London?’

  ‘No.’ Fee hoped Rayna would get the hint it wasn’t something she wanted to discuss.

  ‘You’ll be goin’ back again for Christmas I guess?’

  ‘I shouldn’t think so. She’s used to my work taking me away.’ That sounded better than admitting the truth.

  ‘But you’re not working at the moment.’

  Fee’s head throbbed. Would Rayna never give up? ‘Why did your grandmother collect thimbles?’ She tried to change the subject.

  ‘Mee Maw never travelled much but thimbles are small and relatively inexpensive so she’d ask anyone who went somewhere interesting to bring her one back,’ Rayna explained. ‘I suppose you think I’m being nosy but we’d all like to know more about you.’

  She sighed and laid the duster down. ‘So you got stuck with the job.’

  I don’t blame you or the rest of the family but it still hurts. The Chambers family were close and Tom falling head over heels for a woman they knew almost nothing about was bound to make them curious.

  ‘What do you want to know?’ Fee pulled out a chair and sat down, picking the duster back up to work while she talked. ‘Three guesses. Everything?’

  ‘Heck, Fee, do you blame us?’

  ‘No. But don’t you trust Tom’s judgment?’ Fee brushed off Rayna’s attempt to apologise. Struggling to keep her voice steady she rattled through a condensed version of her life story. More than anything she hated the idea of the Chambers family feeling sorry for her. She’d had an unsettled childhood but other kids had a hell of a lot worse. ‘That’s it. You can tell everyone I’m an emotionally stunted nomad who’s never lived in one place for more than a few months or sustained a relationship with a man long enough to send out Christmas cards together. I can’t cook and I never wear make-up or high heels.’ Fee blinked back tears. She’d been stupid enough to believe they’d accepted her as she was. ‘Now you know everything Tom does.’

  ‘Fee. I never meant …’

  She calmly laid the duster back on the table and walked out of the room. Fee ignored Rayna’s shouts for her to come back and raced out of the front door. She hurried off down the street with no plan in mind other than to get away. Halfway down the street she stumbled on a crack in the pavement and fell down on her bad knee.

  ‘Going somewhere?’ Tom appeared out of nowhere and helped her to stand back up. ‘We’re going home.’

  She leaned into him and savoured Tom’s solid, warm strength. Fee imprinted it on her brain for when they were apart. Soon enough she’d have to say things neither of them wanted to hear.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Tom surreptitiously glanced at Fee, pale and silent and wanted to kick himself for not being one step ahead of his family. It didn’t take a genius to guess what Fee intended on saying to him when they got back to Black Cherry. He’d come close to wringing Rayna’s neck when he found out what had been said but catching up with Fee was more important. Later he’d deal with his family.

  Outside his cabin he slammed on his brakes and got out of the truck, running around to open her door. ‘Don’t even think about running off. We’re goin’ in here and you’ll listen to me first for a change before you say another word.’

  Fee didn’t look at him as she got out and headed for the steps. Tom left her sitting on the sofa and disappeared into the kitchen to fetch them both a glass of ice water. He returned and set her glass on the table before taking his own over to the recliner.

  ‘I don’t know every detail of what was said because I was too worried about you to stand still and listen to Rayna but I got the gist. This is all my damn fault.’ He stifled her attempt to protest. ‘I should’ve sat them down and told them everything weeks ago but I figured it was your business and it’d come out as they got to know you. I’m an idiot and you’d be within your rights to smack me.’ Fee’s solemn face gave him no clue as to what was going through her mind. ‘They love you. They don’t care if you’ve got a huge close family or none and the fact you haven’t lived in the same house your whole life is irrelevant.’ Tom tried to smile. ‘What they hate is the fact I didn’t spell out every detail in the first place. They’re nosy.’ He risked moving across to sit next to her and caught a new sparkle in her eye that wasn’t there before. ‘As a family we’re very protective of each other. Too much sometimes but I kind of think it’s better than too little.’ He left it at that because the last thing he wanted was to imply her life was less complete than his own.

  ‘It is.’ She took hold of his hands. ‘I overreacted. All poor Rayna did was ask a few questions including where my mother lived. I should’ve given her a straightforward answer. It wasn’t a big deal but I made it one.’

  ‘Are you unsure of me? Of us?’ Tom hated asking but needed to know. ‘Have I rushed you into something you’re not ready for?’

  ‘I’m totally ready but I need to sort things out with my mother one way or the other before we make our own plans.’ A wry smile tugged at her mouth. ‘It would’ve been nice to know who my father is but that’s life.’

  ‘Shame about Allain.’

  ‘Yes, it was.’ Her quiet answer tore at him. This was one thing Tom couldn’t fix. ‘Are we good now?’ he asked.

  ‘I’d say we are.’ A slow, captivating smile crept over her face. ‘Can we leave seeing your family again until tomorrow please? I need to apologise hugely to all of them, but especially Rayna.’

  He yearned to say they should be apologising to her but kept his mouth shut. If he interfered she would gut him and hang him up to dry.

  ‘That’s right. It’s my place to sort it. Not you. Hate it don’t you?’ Fee’s spot-on summing up made him wince. ‘You can do something useful and get some ice for my knee please.’

  ‘What about some painkillers?’

  She
shook her head. ‘Been there. Done that. Not a good idea. I know you’re talking about something innocuous but I’d better not. Ice and elevating it will do the trick.’

  ‘Maybe you should go to bed and rest.’

  ‘Going anywhere near a bed with you doesn’t usually involve resting,’ she retorted. ‘Perhaps my own cabin would be wiser.’

  ‘No way. What if you need help in the night?’

  ‘Oh, I give in. I’ll take up residence in your bed and let you fuss over me. Just for tonight.’

  Forever sounds better to me. By the way her eyes widened Tom knew she’d read his mind. He wanted to cheer but satisfied himself with kissing her and whisking her off to his bedroom.

  As the pale morning sun sneaked into the room Fee lay in Tom’s arms and wished the next couple of days over with. A few weeks ago it took all her courage to walk into the Mockingbird Cafe and order a sandwich. Now she was expected to stand by Tom’s side while the whole town came to pay their respects to his grandmother. She’d be stared at. Questioned. Talked about. This could be tougher than any war zone.

  ‘I can’t imagine tryin’ to get through this without you,’ Tom whispered. ‘If it gets too much for you let me know and I’ll whisk you out of there.’

  Fee nodded and snuggled back into his warm body.

  ‘How’s the knee?’

  She flexed it gently. ‘Not too bad. I’ll know better when I get up.’

  ‘Make sure you sit down when you need to, okay?’

  ‘Yes, Doctor Tom,’ Fee teased.

  ‘I’m looking forward to meeting your mother. How did she react to the idea of us visiting? I forgot to ask.’

  ‘I haven’t actually told her yet.’ She made an effort to sound casual. Tom eased her around to face him, deep frown lines etched into his face.

  ‘Are you crazy? You’re planning to turn up on the doorstep unannounced?’ Plainly he couldn’t believe her. ‘Won’t she want to get ready? My mother spends days cleaning the house and baking a ton of food when she’s expecting visitors.’

  After he met Maddy maybe Tom would fully understand how different their upbringings had been. Domesticity was never her mother’s forte, which was why Fee didn’t have a clue about how to make a home. Meals were sporadic. Cleaning was something done by people with small minds and nothing better to occupy their time. And irons were only seen in historical dramas on the television.

  ‘I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?’ Tom frowned.

  ‘Yes, but I’ll keep you anyway if you can put up with my quirky ways.’

  He wrapped his arms around her. ‘If you want to spend your time taking photos while I cook and clean it’s fine by me. I’m well-trained. Doesn’t bother me.’

  ‘You mean that don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah. Why wouldn’t I? I’m not gonna lie to you, Fee, ever.’ A mischievous smile tweaked the corners of his mouth. ‘Unless I’m trying to surprise you in a good way and I assume that’s allowed?’

  She nodded and swallowed down the tears threatening to bubble over. She’d never known love could be this way.

  ‘Think you can compromise and at least send your mom an email?’

  If it made him happy she’d send a handwritten ten-page letter. ‘Of course.’

  Tom kissed her and any logical thoughts that’d been lurking in her head flew away.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Tom glanced at his watch and checked his appearance in the mirror. He adjusted his black tie and smoothed down a stray curl of hair. The new silver photo frame on his dresser caught his eye again. It contained a beautiful photo Fee had taken of him with his grandmother the day they visited and was something he’d always treasure.

  ‘Will I do?’ Fee emerged from the bathroom and planted herself in front of him. Tom cleared his throat but couldn’t find the words to express how beautiful she always looked to him. ‘I’ll take your silence as a “yes”.’

  ‘We’d better go.’ He took hold of her hands to stop her fiddling with her hair. Fee’s hands were one of the first things he’d noticed the day they met. There was a strength and elegance about them; the fingers long and slim and her nails short and unadorned. Fee wriggled free and picked up the clean handkerchief he’d laid on top of the dresser. ‘You’ll need that.’

  Tom pushed it down into his pocket and tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow to walk out through the cabin together. He’d survived last night’s visitation by a hair’s breadth, overwhelmed by the number of people who came and today’s funeral service would be worse. His father had aged ten years in these last few days and that was hard to watch. The comfort of family and friends helped but in the end they were all alone with their grief.

  Fee hitched up her dress to clamber into the truck and caught her heel on the footboard.

  ‘This is why I usually dress the way I do. I don’t know how people manage this all the time.’

  ‘Practical is good.’ He managed a half-smile. ‘But I like this too.’

  ‘I thought you would.’ She buckled her seat belt. ‘I’m relieved I sorted things with Rayna last night.’

  Before visitation started at the funeral home Fee had apologised to his sister and the rest of the family. She’d brushed off their attempts to do the same and courageously laid out her life for them all to hear so nothing was hidden now.

  ‘I’ve never felt this sense of … peace before.’

  He squeezed her hand and they sat silently for a few moments before he dragged in a deep breath and turned on the engine. ‘Time to go.’

  Fee’s head whirled with trying to remember the names of all the people she’d been introduced to. They’d all be confused if she told them today’s funeral for Betty Mae reminded her of one she photographed a couple of years ago in a small African village. Everyone there came to mourn an old lady who was considered to be a wise woman and much revered. The predominantly black clothes worn here were different to the vivid patterns loved by the Africans but the sentiments were the same. Both were about celebrating a life well lived and in the middle of tears there’d been a lot of laughter and the sharing of many well-remembered stories.

  Across his grandmother’s crowded house Fee spotted Tom and his strength nestled deep inside her. Loving Tom so completely was something she’d never expected to happen and occasionally it still caught her out in the best possible way. She suspected her mother would size him up as conventional and boring but she’d be wrong. He’d been through the hell of his wife’s tragic death and survived it, using the love of his family and his own inner strength to claw back from the dark edges. There was nothing weak about this man. Her man.

  He’s not a rash, flitting around sort of boy. When he chooses he thinks carefully and takes his time. You’d better appreciate him and if I ever hear you’ve messed him around you’ll have me to deal with. Even if I’ve passed on I promise to come back and haunt you.

  She covered her mouth with her hand and bit back tears.

  ‘You doin’ okay?’ Tom appeared in front of her and she managed to nod.

  ‘I’m sad I didn’t have more time to get to know your grandmother.’

  ‘Yeah me too.’ He brushed a light kiss on her cheek. ‘Doesn’t matter if you’re rollin’ in money it’s the one thing no one can buy. Let’s go see Mama and Pop for a minute then head for home.’

  ‘You don’t need to rush off for my sake.’

  Tom rested his forehead against hers. ‘I’ve had enough too and my folks will be grateful for someone to make the first move because it’ll give other people the hint to head on home themselves.’

  Fee registered the strain carved into every plane of his face. She brushed a fleck of dust off his jacket and re-adjusted his crooked tie. ‘Can’t have you looking scruffy. Mee Maw wouldn’t approve.’

  Tom laughed when Fee mentioned looking forward to a peaceful evening. ‘We’re leaving tomorrow and I’ve still got a ton to do.’

  ‘I’ll happily help you with anything if you need me but if not
I’ll go outside to get a few evening shots around the lake.’

  ‘I’m not gonna ask if you’ve packed because I’m guessin’ it’ll take you all of five minutes.’ She had mocked him kindly for starting a list of things to pack a week ago and fretting over it every day since. Right now everything was laid out on his spare bed ready to be fitted in the new backpack she’d insisted he buy, saying it would be easier to travel with than a suitcase. ‘Off you go and do your thing. I’m gonna clear up the office paperwork first ready for Billy and Rayna. I’ll probably go do some work on Lulu’s house afterwards. I want to get the kitchen furniture finished up if I can.’ He touched her hand, stroking his fingers over Fee’s warm, silky skin. ‘You’ll be here when I’m done?’

  ‘Of course.’ Her lips turned up in a wicked smile. ‘I’ll be in bed waiting.’

  Tom fought to dampen down the shot of desire flooding his body.

  ‘Hell, Fee,’ he rasped. ‘You look so damn cool and controlled. Did no one before me ever see underneath the mask?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You’re all heart and passion deep down. I’m guessin’ your mother showed so much of her own it made you lock yours away to protect yourself.’ He kissed her but kept it gentle. ‘You can let it all out now. It’s safe with me.’

  ‘I know,’ she whispered. ‘It’s one reason I love you.’

  Tom held her tight. ‘Love you, too.’

  The contrast between the vibrant, laughing woman standing in front of him and the closed down person she’d been a short while ago was mind-blowing. He wondered if she realised how far she’d come and not simply in air-miles. ‘Later.’

  ‘Later,’ she said and left, glancing over her shoulder to give him another smile full of promise on the way out of the door.

  Fee stared at her empty backpack on the bed. She’d never been one for looking back. Make a decision. Stick to it. Go forward. That had been her mantra for so long but the idea of facing her mother again for the first time in years brought a lot of long-suppressed memories slamming back. The strange thing was they weren’t all bad. She’d had a freedom many children would envy because Maddy believed Fee needed to learn for herself rather than simply be ordered to do things a certain way. It’d helped her develop an independent mind that stood her in good stead for her career and made it easier to deal with the transient nature of the job.