Empress in Disguise, Book 1

by Zoey Gong

  “Stand!” a woman orders, and we do so. “Each row should follow their assigned supervisor for the physical examinations.”

  The supervisors appear to be matronly maids, much like the one who has been barking orders at us this whole time. We are all led out of the courtyard where we are then separated, each line of girls taken to a different building.

  One at a time, we are then taken behind a screen where we are ordered to undress and stand naked on a small pedestal. It is terribly humiliating, and I try to cover myself with my hands, but each of my arms is pulled away, examined by a different woman, while still others inspect my legs, my feet, my breasts, my behind. They poke and prod and run their rough hands over me and I’m about to burst into tears when I’m finally told to step down and put my clothes back on. Thankfully, my maid is there to help me. But my heart sinks when I am told that I am to advance to the next portion of the selection process.

  As soon as we leave the examination room, I find a bench and collapse onto it and give way to tears.

  “My lady!” Suyin says, sitting next to me. “What’s wrong? Didn’t you hear? You will advance! You were not dismissed.”

  “That’s why I’m crying!” I say. “I hate this place. I feel so humiliated.”

  “But why?” she asks. “Everyone must be examined. There is no shame in it. I had to be examined before I could even be selected as a maid.”

  “Really?” She nods. I take a deep breath and wipe my tears away. I wish I could tell her the truth. That I’m not only embarrassed, but distressed that once again I have been advanced to the next level. This is going terribly. I should already be on my way back home by now. But I am only one step closer to having to stay here forever.

  “Come, my lady,” Suyin says. “Let me repair your face.”

  I am so unused to wearing paints I didn’t even think about how I must look after crying. Not to mention standing in the sun for so long. She leads me away from the door to the examination room—every few minutes a new girl emerges, many crying as they are led back toward the main courtyard, I assume to be sent away. I wonder just how many girls are going to be left after this portion.

  We sit on another bench under a nearby tree where the air is cooler. She reaches into one of her sleeves and pulls out a small container of powder and a bit of cotton and then begins to dab the powder on my face.

  “How did you know to bring that with you?” I ask her.

  “One of the older maids told me,” she says. “She went through the last selection process a few years ago.”

  “Your name is Suyin, right?.”

  She reaches back into her sleeve and pulls out a smaller pot and a brush and fixes the kohl around my eyes. “Yes.”

  “That’s a nice name,” I say. “Are you part of a clan or banner or something?”

  “Probably,” she says. “But I never paid it much mind. We were so poor, as soon as I heard the palace was in need of maids, I volunteered.”

  “You were poor?” I ask, and I am sure my question sounds terribly stupid. She thinks I’m Lihua, a spoiled rich girl. She has no idea that I’m Daiyu, someone so poor I’ve sold myself as well. But I am truly surprised. I thought all Manchu were wealthy.

  She nods as she concentrates on painting my face. “But it’s fine. I’ll be able to take the wages I earn here and put away for a dowry so I can marry when I’m released from service.”

  “You can leave?” Everything she says surprises me more and more.

  “Of course,” she says. “I’m not a slave.”

  I find it almost insulting that a maid should have more freedom than a fine lady, but who am I to try and understand Manchu ways?

  “There,” she finally says. “Good as new.”

  “Thank you,” I say, and I reach up to balance my liangbatou as I stretch my neck from side to side. It’s so terribly stiff.

  “Don’t worry,” Suyin says. “Next, you will see the emperor and his mother. That is the last part of the selection process.”

  My heart thumps hard in my chest. While I am glad to know that the end is in sight, I’m terrified of what the outcome will be. Will I be going home, or will I be shuttered within the walls of the Forbidden City forever?

  “Lihua!” Yanmei comes over to me, a wide smile on her face. “I passed!”

  “Congratulations,” I say, and I wish I could be happier for her, but I would never wish for anyone to be a captive within the red walls.

  “They say that we are to meet the emperor next,” Yanmei says. “Are you ready?”

  “I don’t think I have a choice,” I say.

  Yanmei giggles, hiding her mouth behind her hand. “Oh, Lihua. You are so funny.”

  I give a small smile even though I wasn’t joking. I’ve had very little choice in anything that has happened since I foolishly accepted Mingxia’s money.

  “Girls!” our supervisor snaps at us as she comes out of the examination room. “Why are you lingering here? You should be at the Hall of Imperial Peace!”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Yanmei and I say, and then our maids lead us away from the examination hall and through a series of gardens until we reach the Hall of Imperial Peace, which seems to be simply another large, open building.

  Before climbing the steps to the hall, I hesitate. I look around and see no other girls. I am the last to arrive. Would anyone notice if I simply ran away? If I kicked off my shoes and caught up with the other girls who had been dismissed?

  “My lady?” Suyin says, and I realize I’m only dreaming. I have no say in what happens next.

  Only the emperor can decide my fate now.

  10

  “Who will I see inside?” I ask Suyin.

  “The emperor, of course,” my little maid tells me. “The empress, Empress Caihong.”

  “What is the emperor’s name?” I ask. Suyin giggles, but then she realizes I’m not kidding.

  “You don’t know?”

  “I…I’m just so flustered I can hardly remember my own name,” I say. Suyin smiles, apparently believing me even though I’m not really lying. If I was asked to recite Lihua’s family history right now, I’m sure I couldn’t remember a thing.

  “Emperor Guozhi, my lady,” Suyin says. I nod and repeat the name over and over to myself.

  “The person you need to impress the most is Emperor Guozhi’s mother, the dowager empress,” Suyin says. “Dowager Empress Fenfang.”

  “Why her?” I ask.

  “Her word among the ladies is law,” Suyin says. “Empress Caihong should be the head of the emperor’s harem, but she isn’t really, not until Fenfang dies. Fenfeng is the true head of the emperor’s ladies. It is she who chooses the emperor’s consorts.”

  “He doesn’t choose his own wives?” I ask, a bit surprised. It is true in Chinese families as well that the mother-in-law is the head of the household. But this is no typical household. It is actually a bit humorous to me that the emperor—the supposed Son of Heaven—should still bow to his mother.

  “Certainly not,” Suyin says. “The emperor does not know the qualities of a capable wife. He would only pick the girls with pretty faces.”

  I think about all the girls who have already been sent home and those who have stayed. Wasn’t Yanmei chosen to advance because she was pretty, even though she did not have an auspicious birth chart? And how many more were sent home because their bodies had a mark or a scratch? Would a freckle or scar make a woman less capable of bearing children? Even though my birth chart is auspicious, if I had been ugly would I have been sent away? I think I would have. I think this whole process is little more than a beauty contest.

  “Come, my lady,” Suyin says, tugging on my hand up the stairs. “The dowager empress will not be pleased with you for being so late.”

  Good, I think to myself. Hopefully it will be enough for her to send me away.

  When I reach the top of the stairs, there is a large open room. I see dozens of girls kneeling on the floor with their heads bowed. I know I
should keep my eyes down, but I cannot help but look ahead of them to the far side of the room. This could be my only chance to see the emperor.

  In a large golden throne on a raised dais, I see a man slouched in his chair, as if he wished he was anywhere else. It is the man who came to look at us from the balcony when we were in the courtyard, but I can see him more clearly now. He looks older than me, at least in his late twenties, possibly early thirties. He is not fat, but his cheeks are fleshy. He eats well. He wears a gleaming yellow robe and a long string of pearls around his neck. His hat is rimmed gold, but it is topped with red threads. He clean-shaven and has gentle eyes.

  To his right is a young woman, perhaps not even twenty years old. She has a high Manchu headdress ornamented with an enamel phoenix. This can only be Empress Caihong. I can instantly see why she is the empress, she is possibly the most beautiful woman I have seen in my life, with wide eyes, a narrow nose, and heart-shaped lips.

  “About time you joined us, Ula Nara Lihua,” says an older woman to the emperor’s left—Dowager Empress Fenfang. She does not look cruel, but neither does she appear kind. Her features are soft with age and she wears no face paints. Her gown is a sedate green and her hair is wrapped tightly around a bianfang, but she wears no headdress.

  I drop to my knees behind the nearest girl. “Forgive me, your…highness.” I try to recall Mingxia’s instruction on how to address various members of the royal family, but that was not a priority for me. I didn’t think I would make it this far.

  “Stand up,” she orders me, and I do so, but this time I keep my eyes averted. “Turn around.” Again I do as ordered. She nods approvingly and I take that as a sign to return to my place.

  The empress dowager then speaks to the empress across the emperor, who seems to have little interest in the proceedings. On the left arm of the emperor’s throne is a bowl. The empress dowager reaches inside and pulls out a small, flat piece of wood.

  “Biangia Meifan,” the dowager says. A girl several rows away from me stands up. The dowager hands the little card to the emperor, who drops the name into a bowl on his right side. I assume that means that this girl has been chosen as a consort. My heart starts to race as I realize that I have no way of sabotaging myself. The dowager will make her decision now.

  A few more girls are stand, obscuring my view of the emperor. I look to my right and see that Yanmei has her hands pressed together and is praying fervently.

  “Ayan Gioro Yanmei.”

  Yanmei chokes out a sob, but I can tell it is one of happiness. “May the emperor live ten thousand years!” she says as her maid comes over to help her stand.

  I can see the dowager nodding with approval and I think that Yanmei will soon become one of the dowager’s favorites.

  “Ruburi Chunhua,” the dowager says as continues to pull names from the bowl.

  I have never been one of great faith, but if prayer worked for Yanmei, maybe it can work for me too.

  Oh great, wise, merciful Heaven, I mutter to myself. Please do not let me be chosen. Send me home. Ancestors, do not let me be taken from my family.

  The sound of woodchips being dropped into the bowl stop. I raise my head in hopes that the remaining of us are about to be dismissed.

  “What do you think, my son?” the dowager asks. “Do any of these blooming flowers appeal to you?”

  I lean to one side so I can see the emperor. He shifts to his other side, still not looking at any of us.

  “I care not,” he says.

  “My son,” the dowager says, a bit more firmly. “This has all been for you. Your empress and concubines have yet to give you a son.”

  The young empress tries to hide the pain that flashes across her eyes, but it is rather obvious.

  “Then what is the point of bringing in more women?” the emperor asks.

  “It will happen. I promise you,” he empress says to her husband. “We must simply find the right vessel for your glorious seed.”

  The emperor gives her a sad half-smile before looking away again.

  “Please, my son,” the dowager says. “Look at the girls before you. They are the finest and most beautiful girls your kingdom has to offer. Surely some of them must appeal to you.”

  The emperor sighs and glances around the room, his eyes not landing on any girl in particular. He then places his hand in the bowl, stirs the woodchips around, and picks one at random. He hands it to his mother.

  “Samala Qiao,” the dowager reads. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. This is true torture. How can the emperor leave such an important decision to mere chance?

  Ula Nara Lihua,” the dowager says as the emperor pulls another chip from the bowl and I exhale in relief again. Why won’t the dowager release us instead of—

  “My lady,” Suyin whispers. I look up at her, confused why she is tugging on my arm to stand when we have not yet been dismissed.

  I then realize that the emperor pulled Lihua’s name from the bowl. My name.

  “No,” I whisper as Suyin pulls me up.

  “Shh,” she says gently.

  “No,” I mutter again. “No, he can’t have chosen me.”

  A girl next to me who is still kneeling looks at me with pure anger in her eyes. She must be filled with jealousy that I was picked even though I don’t want it.

  “Please,” Suyin whispers, her eyes pleading. I don’t know what she is so scared of. It’s me who is about to be imprisoned for the rest of my life.

  “What’s going on back there?” the dowager empress asks. She stands to get a better look. “Who is speaking?”

  “I…I am,” I say, raising my arm but keeping my eyes down. “Lihua. Umm…Ula…Ula Nara Lihua.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Everything, I want to scream. Please don’t choose me! But what would happen then? Has any girl ever rejected being chosen by the emperor? Would it instantly give me away as not a true Manchu that I do not find this a great honor? The knowledge sobers me. I don’t want to be chosen, but neither do I want to be dead.

  “Nothing,” I say.

  The dowager presses her lips disapprovingly before sitting again and turning to the emperor. “Are you sure you want that one?”

  The emperor clears his throat and his eyes sweep over all of us, but I am not sure he ever actually sees me. “It matters not to me.”

  The dowager squeezes her hands together in obvious frustration. She then looks to the empress. “What say you?”

  My heart races. Is it possible that I could still be dismissed and maintain my—Lihua’s—dignity?

  The empress picks up my chip from the bowl and then says something to her maid, who hands the empress a piece of paper.

  “Her chart is auspicious, Mother,” she says. “Very auspicious.” She hands the paper to the dowager, who looks it over.

  The dowager nods. “Very well. Ula Nara Lihua stays.”

  I feel faint, and I am sure I would topple over if not for Suyin holding me up.

  “Any more?” the dowager asks the emperor. He stands up quickly and leaves the room without another word. She looks at the empress, who only shakes her head.

  “Very well,” the dowager says, standing. “Thank you all for attending. If your name was not called, you will be escorted to the Hall of Literary Brilliance to await the return of your families to collect you. Please accept these gifts of thanks to your families for offering you to us this day.”

  As the girls shuffle out of the room, three eunuchs present the girls with gold ingots, a string of pearls, and a jewel hair ornament. How I wish I were among them. Not for the gifts, they mean nothing to me. But so I could return home to my family. I have already been separated from them for weeks with no contact. How I miss them and hope they are doing well. Are they full of good food and in a warm room? Or has the money already been wasted in frivolous purchases?

  I shake my head. I can only hope that Mingxia holds to our agreement that whatever bride price is sent to her, she will
send my family half. I now realize that I should have demanded all of it. After all, it was not her daughter that was sold.

  Once all the girls are gone, we are once again arranged into straight rows in front of the dowager. “Congratulations, ladies,” she says. “You are truly the most blessed among women.”

  “Thank you, empress mother,” everyone says with a bow except for me. I follow the bow but have no idea what words to say.

  “You must be tired,” the young empress says. “Each of you will be assigned a palace and a eunuch servant. You may go to your new homes to rest and become comfortable here. Tomorrow morning, you will all be expected in the Palace of Longevity and Peace to pay your morning respects to the dowager empress and discuss the day’s business.”

  “Thank you, empress,” everyone says. At that, the empress and empress dowager leave the room, each escorted by half a dozen maids and servants. As soon as they are gone the room erupts into noisy conversation as the girls cheer, clap, and congratulate each other. I seem to be the only one who doesn’t want to be here.

  “We made it!” Yanmei says.

  “So we did,” I say, and I wish I could pretend to be joyous, but I cannot. I am angry with Mingxia for lying to me. Angry at myself for trusting her. Angry I didn’t do more to be dismissed. I am now trapped here for the rest of my life.

  For the rest of my days, Daiyu no longer exists. I am now Lihua—and I despise her.

  11

  I am the last one to leave the reception hall and Suyin holds my hand as we walk through a maze of courtyards and buildings.

  “Isn’t it wonderful?” Suyin says. “I am so glad you were chosen, but I knew you would be, you are so beautiful.”

  I wrinkle my nose at that. I think anyone can be beautiful when dressed in expensive clothes and their face painted beyond recognition. I know I am not here on any merit of my own. I made it through the first part of the selection because of Lihua’s birth date; I made it through the last part because my name was drawn from a bowl. All the girls in that room had the same chance as I did to be chosen.