Love Finds Its Pocket

by Mary Scarpelli

  His calm reserve, coupled with the pizza helped to lighten their moods as the texture and fusion of seasonings were delicious – even Antonia enjoyed her Sicilian slice, which was designed without mozzarella, rather was topped with perfectly seasoned, stewed tomatoes, blanketed with a Pecorino Romano that was also mixed with crumbled provolone, about a 70/30 blend, with just a hint of hot pepper and basil. The slice left her singing its praises, making a mental note to capture that flavor with her next homemade concoction. She was able to allow herself that distraction as the food consumption seemed to have catapulted Toni out of her stupor, bringing her back at least to the periphery of her usual self.

  “Ho sentito che Massimo sta per darvi un altro nipote. Sei felice?” Toni was starting to feel alive again, but couldn’t quite pinpoint why or what possibly could have transpired to lighten her mood; she decided to go with it anyway. She certainly didn’t want to burden Kat with her tears in the recovery room so it was best that she change gears before being granted a long awaited audience with her lover, forever thereafter to be known as her lover, the cancer survivor.

  “Si, mia figlia. Ha fatto piani per sposare quella ragazza. Essi vivranno con noi.” Antonia responded in a flat, matter-of-fact tone, the last comment oh so reluctantly exiting her mouth.

  Even she couldn’t bring herself to speak the girl’s name – perhaps Antonia too, like Toni, had a hell of a time remembering what it was. Nonna just shook her head and continued to gnaw away at her slice. Toni leaned over to kiss her Nonna’s cheek, giving her a quick squeeze as well.

  “Ah geeze, mom. Are you going to be okay having them live with you? I mean, Massimo and the baby of course, but pouty-face too? That girl always looks so miserable, or like she just sniffed a pile of merda.” Toni stopped to look into her mother’s eyes so she could discern the truth for herself – two Mangiarmi women simultaneously giving each other the squinty-eyed interrogative glare.

  Antonia kissed Toni on the cheek and said, “Imparero ad amare lei. Lei ha grandi scarpe da riempire dopo Gene e ora Kat. But as you know, I am a patient and understanding woman e amo mio figlio con tutto il mio cuore.” Gene overheard the entire interchange. He placed an arm around Antonia, and laughed heartily as he sang ‘two out of three ain’t bad’.

  The four of them left the pizza parlor feeling much better, promise for a better future replacing the dread they’d each been carrying with them over the past few weeks. They were engaged in an absolute no-no on a Manhattan sidewalk, walking arm-in-arm, Nonna in the middle, four abreast and not giving a rat’s ass.

  “Natives Behaving Badly!” Toni exclaimed. “We’re worse than the tourists!” She smiled for the first time in days.

  Robert Plant Ain’t Got Nothin’ on Him

  Dr. Echeverria strode into the waiting room less than thirty minutes after they returned from their brief sojourn to the land of normalcy. He still had on his scrubs, mask slung behind his neck, cap and shoe coverings intact. His smile was broad as he extended his hand to Toni and began to share the good news.

  “Your girlfriend is going to be just fine. She’s in recovery now but it’s going to be perhaps another thirty or so minutes before they’ll let you go in and see her. She was under heavy sedation over a period of six hours so it will take some time before she regains her bearings.

  “The surgery went quite well – Katherine is strong and in excellent heath so I expect she’ll recover quickly. I’m going to be her primary doctor from now until after the second stage of reconstruction when I’ll insert the final implant, which, depending on the rate at which she heals, should be about two months from now.

  “She’ll be scheduled for an office visit once weekly at which time I will assess her progress and also add saline to her tissue expander until we’ve adequately stretched her chest muscles. Once that process is complete, she’ll come back in for the second stage of the reconstruction and I’ll give her the silicone implant that she selected. After that, she can opt to have a nipple fashioned out of her own skin and I will then tattoo an areola around its circumference, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves here.

  “You just take her home and take good care of her, bring her back to me once per week and I’ll make certain her progress remains on track. Any questions? Good. Call my office tomorrow and schedule Katherine’s appointment for one week hence. My staff knows exactly what to do so just give them Katherine’s name and they’ll set up a mutually acceptable appointment calendar for her.

  “I understand that you’ve elected to have one of my private duty nurses stay with Katherine overnight. Prudent. This is a good hospital but, especially with mastectomy patients, some special handling, kid-gloves if you will, is always appreciated by my patients. I always recommend that the expense be accepted as standard fare. This is no time to be frugal! Well, good luck and I’ll see you next week.”

  Dr. Echeverria, with the bulk of his curls having escaped from his cap to sit proudly on his shoulders, smiled handsomely as he waved to the rest of the family, in response to their thunderous round of applause. Although Kat’s parents had already left the hospital after the first phase of the surgical cycle, the Mangiarmi clan was pleased that the good doctor didn’t once ask for them; he accepted the legitimacy of Toni and crew without question. Like a rock star, Dr. Echeverria strolled back down the corridor from which he came.

  Toni remarked that surgeons must love what they do as both he and Dr. Eclatant were absolutely elated, an endorphin or serotonin surge, Toni guessed. Gene concurred, adding how invigorating and satisfying it must be to actually save lives. They spoke briefly about the possibility of acquiring a god-complex as a result but quickly dropped that potential criticism as their Kat had been well tended and they were mere minutes away from seeing her.

  Every ten minutes, Giovanni would find his way back to the receptionist to ask when they would be allowed to see Kat. He found her attractive and she blushed every time he approached her with his disarmingly handsome smile, full lips and perfect teeth so each time was given the courtesy of a check with the recovery room nurse to see if Kat had yet regained consciousness sufficient to warrant visitors. On his third such visit to the desk, she gave him the green-light and also slipped him a piece of paper on which she had written her name and cell phone number.

  ******

  True to form, Kat was wide awake and asking for Toni mere minutes after being wheeled in to the recovery room. She was parched after the lengthy operation, the effects of which persisted without any signs of abatement. She was fairly disoriented and feeling spacey but otherwise faring better than expected. Toni practically ran into the recovery room ahead of her escort who requested that she slow down and wait for her, an admonishment that fell on ears tuned only to the sound of Kat’s breathing, and looked around wildly for Kat’s gurney. Seeing Kat lying there brought tears to her eyes, but she sucked them back as she needed to appear strong. They made eye contact simultaneously, Toni sporting the widest smile that her face could accommodate and as she approached Kat, said:

  “You look mah-velous, simply mah-velous,” in her patented Fernando Lamas impression.

  She was so excited to see Kat’s eyes opened and the beginnings of a smile that she felt like shouting. Instead, she leaned in and kissed Kat’s cheeks and asked her if she was cognizant enough to know how she was feeling. Kat advised her that she wasn’t blotto enough to realize that Toni had the temerity to grace her with kisses, not one of which was on the lips to which Toni responded by applying Kat’s favorite salve on her poor, battered mouth and then planting a series of butterfly kisses gently on her for what seemed to the recovery nurse, an inordinately long period of time. Toni heard and felt Kat’s labored breathing, and believing it to be far shallower than normal, excused herself and walked directly over to the nurse to ask in a whispered tone if that was normal. They walked quickly back to Kat’s stall, the nurse encircling the privacy curtain around them.

  “When you have been under general anesthesia as
long as she was, it takes time for the lungs to reboot and start functioning normally again. I’m putting these massage devices on her calves to kick-start her circulation, which we won’t remove until tomorrow and we’re going to continue checking her lungs to ensure they come back up to full capacity by asking her to breath into this apparatus – the lungs shut down and your gag reflex takes a vacation while under general anesthesia which is why you can aspirate and choke on your own vomit if you’ve had anything to eat or drink too near the time of surgery.

  “Her intestines have similarly shut down, so be prepared for nurses to come into her room with regularity as they need to monitor all of her vitals to make certain she’s recovering within normal parameters. Plus, she’s been put through the ringer, which might affect her breathing.

  “Have you hired a private duty nurse? Good, because that helps to alleviate some of our burden as well as makes certain she’ll receive a trained professional’s full attention for the entire duration of her stay here.

  “Oh, so you’re aware, her surgeons will be stopping by tomorrow morning to assess her progress and advise Katherine when she’ll be able to go home.

  “And just so you know, you’ll have to leave when visiting hours are over, even if we aren’t able to get your friend settled into her room before then. Sorry, but those are the rules; I didn’t make them so please don’t look at me like I did. And, don’t expect any of the floor nurses to turn a blind eye to your presence. You’ll just have to trust that the nurse you hired will call you, text or maybe Skype with you so that you can have a visual on your friend’s progress.

  “Trust me. Katherine will be in no mood for company tonight. All she’ll want to do is sleep. General anesthesia can be exhausting to the system so once we drug her up and get her settled in, it would be best for her to get some rest so that her bodily functions can return to normal.” The recovery room nurse was called away by a patient in distress, a rather whiny older woman two curtains away. Toni took that opportunity to see if Kat’s status had improved.

  “Why was she speaking about me as if I weren’t right here? I’m not dead, am I?” Kat whispered, managing a partial smile. When her lips stuck to her teeth, she added:

  “I’m super thirsty – the worst case of cotton mouth ever. And Toni? I really am having a hard time breathing; it’s like there’s an elephant on my chest or something,” Kat croaked out.

  She had been intubated for hours. Her throat felt raw and dry. She was trying to be brave but clearly was in distress. Toni positioned the straw so that she could easily sip her water, cautioning her to drink slowly lest she vomit it back up, and once again left in search of the nurse.

  “Nurse, my friend needs some pain meds. She said she’s having difficulty breathing – like an elephant is on her chest, or something.” Toni said.

  “She refused the morphine drip when I first offered it – said she didn’t want to have nightmares and she also said no to Percocet because she didn’t want to fall asleep before seeing the entire family.

  “How about I give her one pill now, you go line up the family – one at a time! and then I’ll give her the second pill, which should alleviate most of her pain so that she can breathe easier but it will also make her drowsy. She shouldn’t wait to take her meds until the pain is unbearable because by then, it’ll be ineffective. Tell her that, okay? I’ve been trying to explain that to her but she’s very stubborn.

  “Yes, it’s normal for her breathing to be shallow because she’s had several chest muscles reconfigured to fit snugly around the tissue expander. Think of the worst case of muscle ache you’ve ever had, multiply it by one hundred and then add several lead weights to the equation and you’ll have a better idea of what she’s feeling right now.

  “Yes, I know from personal experience. I agree - too many of us know from personal experience. Well, maybe only if you’re a conspiracy theorist. Haha. Your friend is being brave but she’s definitely hurting. I’ll be right there with her pain killer. Hurry and get your family.” The nurse walked away quickly but returned before Toni had a chance to speak privately with Kat.

  “I’m going to line up the family – they’re all dying to see you so I won’t come back in until they’re all done. And, Kat? Ignore their puffy eyes. You know we’re just a bunch of emotional Italians and we love you more than bread and wine and we were worried sick so that’s the way it is, okay? Oh, and the private duty nurse said that she was having a bitch of a time finding a parking spot so I told her we’d pony up for a parking garage. Do you have a twenty on you because I left my money at home.” Toni tried to be light and jocular but she just sounded like someone trying desperately to keep the tone light while stifling her tears.

  “Come here, you.” Kat croaked, pursing her chapped lips, kissing Toni again, requesting yet another pass from the lip balm quickly followed by a hearty swig of water. She then bade Toni to run and get her family as she changed her mind about not wanting to be sedated so intended to take as many Percocet as they would allow. She wasn’t certain how quickly the opiates would take effect, rendering her barely conscious hence unable to share intelligible pleasantries.

  One by one, the Mangiarmi clan made a bedside appearance, sharing pleasantries, asking how she felt, recounting their travails at what it was like not knowing what was going on, reading the same paragraph over and over again in one of the stale dated magazines in the waiting room but still not remembering one word of what they had read, telling her how wonderful she looked for someone who just went through a six-hour surgical procedure, wishing her well, saying they would stop by and visit her at home as soon as Toni gave them the green-light to do so.

  Massimo Jr. shared with her the good news of his impending nuptials and rapidly approaching fatherhood to which Kat responded by telling him how happy she was to hear of his good fortune.

  “The wedding is being deferred because my fiancé refuses to waddle down the isle. She’s more embarrassed to have people think she’s fat than pregnant. Go figure.” Massimo Jr. and Kat shared a light laugh.

  “So then you’ll be back on your feet and well enough to attend, right? About six months from now, I’m guessing.”

  “I’m going to be just fine. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Save a dance for me, Massi?” She added, sexy even in a hospital gown.

  “You betcha,” he said, blushing.

  He kissed her cheek and wished her a speedy recovery. The penultimate person to come in was Antonia. She wanted to be at the end of the queue in part to give her emotions time to gain composure but also because she wanted her words to resonate with Kat.

  Kat hadn’t shed one tear but then she saw Antonia come around the curtain, that strong, stoic Mangiarmi matriarch, loving mother and the glue that held the family together, giving so much of herself that her personal construct was no longer distinguishable from the family she adored. Kat let out a wail and did her best to stifle a full-blown crying jag.

  “Bella, figlia mia,” she said as she leaned in to hold Kat’s head then gently kiss her on each cheek followed by once on her forehead.

  Antonia saw that Kat was looking groggy – in good spirits, but obviously going down for the count. The nurse advised them that her room was almost ready so they had maybe five minutes before the orderlies would begin the process of preparing her for transport to her room upstairs. Visiting hours were almost over anyway so they all planned to leave so that Toni could spend a few private minutes with her before herself getting the boot.

  “We have grown very close, you and I. You should know that I think of you as one of my daughters, which perhaps I need to explain as you may not be aware of exactly what that means to me. Those aren’t just empty words.

  “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. No amount of love would be too much to give to you. Anything you need, if I have it, it is yours. My heart is yours, my love is forever yours.” Antonia saw that, as dehydrated as Kat was, tears once again were forming in her eyes. She pulled out a ti
ssue and wiped them away.

  “Your parents were here, Katherine; I... met them,” Antonia had to stop speaking to compose herself. This was neither the time nor the place for a rant.

  “It’s okay, mia madre. I know how they are. It must have been horrible for you – for all of you. I’m so sorry you had to be subjected to them,” Kat said.

  “They’re still your parents. I respect that bond as unassailable, but after having met them, I..., I don’t know. I don’t understand how parents can maintain that level of emotional distance from their children. You are an only child. It’s not like they have an army of children demanding their time and attention.

  “I’ve said it before but I need to impress upon you that you will always be a member of our family, no matter what. No, no of course you and Toni will be together. I didn’t mean to imply that you two wouldn’t be. Just know that you are my third daughter and that will never change. I’m proud to know you and humbled to be loved by you.

  “I know that you have already been making arrangements to marry my daughter – yes, a mother has her ways of finding out about these things, but don’t worry, I won’t say anything to her. I know all about her pig-headedness – her father’s daughter. Testa dura, capisci?

  “Yes, of course you know her, and I think it’s wonderful that you find the stubborn aspect of her personality endearing, because sometimes...” Antonia paused to position her hand in her patented mid-rise bitch-slap pose, for which Kat once again smiled, doing her best to stifle a full-on laugh, as she recalled Giovanni’s pitch-perfect imitation of it.

  “Yes, she sometimes can be frustrating - no one’s perfect, but she’s a good woman. You’ll never be bored around her, that much I know. I never fully appreciated how deeply one woman could fall in love with another but now that I know you, it makes perfect sense. You are as perfect for her as she is for you – soul mates, I think it’s called.