Gabe cleared his throat. "Kyle and I will be heading off soon," he declared.
She nodded to him and smiled weakly. Lauren glanced in through the parlor window. Everyone seemed so happy in there. It was such a contrast to her churning emotions.
And then she turned and headed for the door. From behind her, she heard Gabe's heavy footsteps following her.
CHAPTER TEN
He'd messed up, Gabe told himself as he and Kyle rode away from the Munro Ranch a short while later. Kissing Lauren had been an exquisite delight. But, he had underestimated and badly misjudged the way she would react. He'd stepped over a line which she had clearly drawn that first day they'd been reunited.
He only had himself to blame. The temptation to kiss Lauren had been impossible to resist. Seeing her there, in the soft light on the porch with the sounds of the night drifting in the air, something had shifted inside Gabe. Temptation. And he had gone and made a fool of himself!
"Everything okay, Gabe?" Kyle asked. Gabe glanced across at his brother. They were riding side-by-side along the southbound trail which cut east of inspiration. It wouldn't take long for them to get home. Right now, Gabe looked forward to getting back to the Baxter ranch. He needed to think. Clear the fog from of his mind. Maybe tonight he'd destroyed any chance of winning Lauren's heart. It hadn't taken much. Just a foolish mistake, one he should have avoided.
Gabe straightened in the saddle. "Sure. What makes you ask that?"
Kyle shrugged. "I don't know. You just seem distracted."
Gabe tightened his grip on his reins and peered ahead into the darkness. There was enough silvery light by the crescent moon to see the trail. In any case, he knew this country like the back of his hand. "It's been quite an evening don't you agree?"
Gabe glanced at Kyle and saw his brother smile. "I guess this means we're all related by blood now to the Munro family," he observed.
"The Munro family and the Baxters are sure getting closer by the year," Gabe replied. "I don't think that's a bad thing. Two ranching families getting together seems like a recipe for happiness," Gabe added. "Don't you think?"
Even as he asked the question, Gabe wondered what kind of response he would get from his brother. As he might have expected, Kyle stiffened, becoming instantly tense. It seemed like any talk of the future drew the same reaction from him.
"I'm just glad for Victoria," Kyle said cautiously. "She always did want children."
Both brothers rode in silence for a minute. He was glad that Kyle could understand how important all of this would be for Victoria. Maybe there was hope yet that Kyle would come round to Gabe's way of thinking. The horses' hooves pounded on the hard trail. The rhythm of the sound reminded Gabe of the pounding of his heart as he'd held Lauren in his arms. Was this how it was going to be? That every little thing would remind him of what he might never have? Because, after this evening he was beginning to think that winning Lauren's heart might prove to be an impossibility.
When he Lauren had re-entered the parlor he'd seen the look on everyone's faces. Curiosity and expectation had been written on their faces. But, no one had said anything. Gabe had been relieved. And, judging by the expression on Lauren's face when she'd sat down next to Victoria on the sofa, she'd felt a similar relief. Gabe wondered if everyone was rooting for them to get back together again. Throughout the evening, during the meal, he'd seen the way everyone had been looking at him and Lauren. Did they just assume that the impossible may be easy, and that Gabe would win Lauren back? Because he knew a truth now which, before this evening, he hadn't been willing to face.
He'd already lost Lauren, before he'd even started.
Winning her back was proving to be harder than he could ever have imagined. Gabe lifted his heart and prayed silently. Lord, am I doing right? Or am I assuming something that isn't true? I know You want me to find a wife so that my family can stay together. So that we can be a godly family, the way You made us. But, Lord, I'm not sure I have what it takes to win Lauren back. Grant me the strength and wisdom to know what to do.
The horses pounded down into a shallow valley and alongside the river which ran east of town. They came to a turning point in the trail. There was a bridge across the river. To the west lay the town. Normally, making his way back from the Munro Ranch, Gabe would have chosen the trail south. As he and Kyle came to the split in the trail, Gabe noticed that Kyle slowed his horse. Finally, Kyle drew to complete standstill, forcing Gabe to do the same.
Gabe squinted at Kyle, seeking an explanation. "What are you doing?"
Kyle shifted uneasily in his saddle. "I'm heading into town," he revealed.
Gabe frowned. "It's late. What do you think you're going to do in town at this time of night?"
Kyle shrugged. "It's been a long day," he replied. "I'm not ready to go back home yet."
Gabe shifted his horse closer to Kyle's. "You're not planning on seeing Murray, are you?"
"There's nothing wrong with that," Kyle objected.
Gabe stiffened in the saddle, feeling the tension in shoulders. He'd believed that he'd done enough to warn Kyle off from spending any time with Murray.
"What did I tell you about him? He's no good."
"That's for me to decide, Gabe," Kyle retorted. "I can look after myself."
"Really," Gabe drawled. "That isn't what Josh was telling me."
By the light of the moon Gabe saw Kyle's eyes widen. Gabe could hardly believe that he and his brother were about to have an argument out here on the trail in the dark. "What's Josh been saying about me?" Kyle demanded.
Gabe leaned on the pommel of his saddle. "Only that you've got plenty of learning to do," he snapped.
Gabe heard Kyle drag in sharp breath. "What's that supposed to mean?" Kyle's voice shook with sudden emotion.
Gabe leaned forward. Maybe now was time for some hard truths, he told himself. "I'm glad I brought you to the Munro Ranch, Kyle," Gabe said. "I've learned a few things. One of them is that I didn't teach you well enough when it comes to working on the ranch."
Kyle's fingers tightened around the reins of his horse. "We gonna do this all over again? Are you accusing me of not pulling my weight? I've worked as hard as I can these past few days. And all I get is even more criticism." Kyle sighed heavily. "It's not fair, Gabe,"
"Who said life was anything about being fair?" Gabe asked sharply. "If our father was here you know what he would be saying to you. It's time to buckle up and take responsibility. That's what I'm trying to get you to do." Gabe fixed Kyle one stern look. "I'm your brother, and it's up to me to do my best for this family of ours. I've got some important decisions to make in the days to come," Gabe said.
Kyle's eyes narrowed. "Do any of those decisions involve Lauren?"
Gabe felt a jolt of shock race through his body. Immediately on the defensive, he wondered how Kyle could have guessed his intentions. Had they been that obvious? "This isn't about Lauren," Gabe stated. "She's not a part of our family."
"Not yet," Kyle said and lifted a brow.
For a moment, Gabe was almost lost for words. Kyle's rebellious spirit on full display. Gabe knew he had a decision to make. He still hadn't told Kyle about the contents of their mother's letter. Maybe it was time to tell him. Gabe quickly debated that while matching Kyle's steady gaze. He could see his brother was waiting for some kind of response.
The moment passed. Gabe told himself that the time still wasn't right. Apart from anything else, with Kyle's wanderlust still untamed, there was no saying how his younger brother would respond to the revelation that marriage was a necessity for all three of them, including Landon.
Ignoring Kyle's taunting last remark, Gabe continued. "You've got work to do tomorrow at the Munro ranch," he said.
"I'll be there. On time," Kyle snapped back.
Gabe felt his jaw tighten. He he looked at Kyle and saw the steady look of a determined Baxter. He decided to try one last time. "Can I get you to reconsider?"
Kyle shook his head slow
ly. "When are you ever going to trust me, Gabe?"
"I trust you Kyle," Gabe replied. "Just promise me you won't do anything foolish."
Clearly annoyed, Kyle sighed noisily and tugged on the reins of his horse. "I won't be late back." Kyle paused a moment. "And tomorrow? I'm going to the Munro spread on my own."
Then, Kyle rode quickly away down the trail heading toward town. Watching his brother disappear into the darkness, Gabe felt something heavy sink in the pit of his stomach. He'd failed twice this evening. Once with Lauren. And now with Kyle. The knowledge of his failure burned inside him. Not only had he ruined everything with Lauren, it seemed he had also deluded himself about any progress he had made in reforming his brother.
The joyful announcement of Victoria and Wyatt's baby seemed a long way off now. Tugging on the reins of his horse, Gabe drove his mount down the trail heading south. He couldn't wait to get back to the ranch. To the peace and tranquillity of his family home. It was time to think. But, most of all, it was time for him to be honest with himself about whether or not he and Lauren had any future.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
"What went on last night between you and Gabriel Baxter?" Zacharias asked the next day. Lauren and her father were riding into town on a buckboard. It was mid-morning and the sun was rising in the wide, blue Montana sky. Lauren dragged her attention away from the horses and out across the valley. She could see the trail leading off into the distance. It wouldn't take long for them to arrive in town. However, if a father decided he wanted to ask some awkward questions, this promised to be a very long ride indeed.
"What do you mean, pa?"
Zacharias turned his head, squinted at Lauren, and lifted a brow. "You can't fool me," her father said skeptically.
Lauren felt her cheeks flush with heat. For a moment, she fussed with her green bonnet and then settled her hands in her lap brushing some dust from her green gown. "I didn't think I could fool you," she replied. "I wouldn't even think of trying."
Zacharias gripped the reins of the buckboard tight in his hands. "So?"
Lauren shrugged, hoping that her nonchalant manner might well deflect her father's interest. She wondered what her father had seen last night to make him ask such a question. "There's nothing to tell, really," Lauren said.
"You two were out on that porch for a long time," Zacharias insisted.
Lauren scoffed noisily. "Can't two old friends just talk together for a while without getting tongues wagging?"
Zacharias sighed. "Who said tongues were wagging?"
Now it was Lauren's turn to sigh. "I saw the way everyone looked at us when we came back into the parlor."
Zacharias smiled wryly. "Grace and Victoria think it's pretty clear what's going on."
Panic flared inside Lauren. Had it been that obvious? She'd been able to compose herself before walking back into the house. Clearly she'd been fooling herself. However, even now as she thought about Gabe's kiss she felt remnants of sensation flicker into life.
The truth was it was impossible to forget that kiss. The memory of it had kept her awake for a large part of last night while she'd lain in bed. And now her father was trying to get the truth out of her. She didn't want to lie to her father. That had never been her way, and it never would be. He'd brought her up to tell the truth in all matters, and she always would do that, especially with her father. But how could she talk about Gabe without revealing what had happened between them out on the porch?
"I thought you didn't approve of him," Lauren said, her voice slightly defensive this time.
Zacharias' brows shot up in a line. "Who said I didn't like Gabriel Baxter?"
Lauren scoffed. "You told me plenty of times after what happened last year," she declared.
"Did I? I don't recall saying anything bad about Gabe," Zacharias retorted.
Almost unable to believe what her father had just said, Lauren widened her eyes incredulously. "You told me plenty of times that you thought it was disgraceful the way he didn't contact us on that last day."
Zacharias waved a dismissive hand. "That was nothing," he replied. "Gabe is a busy man. He and his brothers have a ranch to run. It was perfectly understandable that he couldn't come to the station to say goodbye."
That wasn't how Lauren remembered it. She recalled the day when she and her father had caught the train for Billings. She had told her father that Gabe was going to come to see them off. The fact that he was prepared to do that was suggestive that her friendship with him was more than just casual. Of course the wonderful days leading up to her departure had confirmed that impression in her own mind. However, before the train had left, any idea that she and Gabe had formed a truly meaningful relationship had evaporated when he hadn't shown up at the station to say goodbye. She'd convinced herself the goodbye would only be the beginning, and that she would return soon. To Gabe. She'd even convinced herself that there would be an exchange of letters and promises made. But, on that day, as the train had slid slowly from the station, all of her hopes had been dashed. Gabe hadn't turned up.
Lauren peered at her father. "I seem to recall you saying some pretty harsh words about him," she said.
Zacharias shrugged. "Forgiveness is important, Lauren," he said turning and looking earnestly at her. "How many times did your mother tell you that?"
It wasn't often the Zacharias mentioned her mother, Lauren told herself. However, he knew that when he did it would have a powerful effect, on her. This time was no exception. Lauren turned away from her father and gazed out across the beautiful landscape. In the distance, she saw forests, rivers and valleys. Off in the horizon mountains rose up. They were still snow peaked and beautiful. For a brief moment she allowed herself to think about how much her mother would have loved to look upon this beautiful scene.
Lauren knew that her father was right. Forgiveness was central to her faith. The faith both her parents had encouraged. She thought about the previous night with Gabe. Was that the truth about her and the handsome Baxter rancher? Was she withholding her forgiveness from him? If so, surely that wasn't the right thing for her to do. Even if, as she suspected, Gabe was determined to reawaken their friendship. Since arriving back at the Munro Ranch she'd done everything she could to keep him at bay. Everything she could think of to dissuade him from embarking upon what she saw as a futile exercise.
A courtship doomed to failure.
However, maybe she'd been too hasty. She still felt some of the delight she'd experienced while he had cradled her in his embrace the previous night. Was she going to turn her back on that because of a decision to neither forgive nor forget?
Lauren looked at her father. "Can I ask you a question?"
Zacharias turned and lifted a brow. "Of course you can."
Lauren swallowed nervously, realizing that the answer to her question might make things even more complicated. "Are you still serious about going to California?"
Zacharias thought for a long moment. Too long, as far as Lauren was concerned. She examined him and saw, for the first time, clear signs of doubt in his eyes. His mouth turned down and he tilted his head. "Before I came back here, I had every intention of going," he said slowly. "But, since I have come, and seen the way people live here, I'm beginning to understand why people settle here in Inspiration."
Lauren dragged in a deep breath. She'd suspected he might say something like that. But, hearing the words from his own mouth made the reality of what he was saying so much harder to take. "Are you telling me that you might consider settling here?"
Zacharias grunted. "Now that's a whole different story," he announced grandly. "All I can say is that I have been mightily impressed." He glanced at her. "Nothing more."
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