Goddess Choice

by A Lonergan

  I watched my veins in my wrist, curiously, wondering what kind of power was being held there. I looked in the nightstand, next to the bed and pulled a sewing kit from the bottom of it.

  I fingered a needle, gently, curiously. I pricked my finger with it and watched the red blood swell on the tip. It created a swollen orb before I rubbed it away with my thumb.

  A knock on the door, startled me and pulled me out of my thoughts. I put my hand on my chest as I tried to get my breathing back to normal.

  I was in the process of opening my mouth to tell them to come in when I was sucked from reality.

  A cackle in the distance had me cringing. Jericho. No. No. No. No. He was back. He was back for more. My body shook in fear. He had to be here to kill me. Everything had been quiet for days. My body was weak from lack of food and the little amount of water I had been allowed wasn’t enough. I was tired and I couldn’t feel most of my body. My arms were still shackled over my head and I could hardly wiggle my fingers.

  Light flooded the room around me, my body shrunk back against the wall as I blinked rapidly. The sudden intrusion stung.

  “Hello, doll. You’re looking a little pale this evening.”

  I had learned early on that he didn’t need any replies. It didn’t matter what I said, or how I felt. He paced in front of me while he cracked his knuckles. The popping echoed off of the stone walls and bounced around my head.

  It was ritualistic. He did the same thing before he came at me but the look in his eyes said something was different today. He was different and it wasn’t in a good way either. He stopped his pacing and slowly accessed me.

  Normal.

  But instead of closing his eyes and keeping up the chit-chat, he pulled something from the underneath his shirt. It was a thick roll of leather. My eyes widened when he unrolled it.

  Knives of all different sizes were tucked inside. He pulled out a long, thin one that shone in the dim light.

  His strides were long and slow as he made his way toward me. I could see the difference now. It was pleasure. Whatever he was about to do gave him immense pleasure. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he ripped my shirt from my body.

  Goosebumps arose on my stomach as the air blasted against it.

  “See, I can’t figure this out.” He traced my gold scar with the tip of the blade. “I also can’t imagine how much the witches would pay for this. Flesh that is gold.” He chuckled. “They would go insane. Can you imagine the power?”

  I kept my mouth closed, too afraid of what was coming. He hadn’t done anything like this all the other times he had come to visit. Ana had even accompanied him on most of his visits. I was surprised she wasn’t here for this one.

  “Where’s Ana?” My voice was small; weak.

  His eyes went dark. “I see you’ve grown quite fond of her, have you?” He spun the knife in his hand. “This is going to be our little secret.” He patted my cheek almost affectionately. Deception to get me to trust him.

  He traced my scar once more before I felt him pierce the skin around in.

  “Tsk, tsk.” I bit down hard, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of my screams. “They call you gods but you all bleed the same.” He pulled the knife from my abdomen and flicked his wrist. Before I knew what was happening, blood was flowing down his hand. “You call yourself a god but you bleed just like me.”

  He took his bleeding palm and wiped it under my breasts.

  “I’m sure Apollo would love to know how you bleed just like I do. Where’s your gods blood now? Where is your god now?”

  Tears spilled from my eyes as he continued his assault. The pain was so unbearable, I couldn’t tell where I ended and where I began.

  Red covered everything as Jericho worked tirelessly on my stomach. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he stood up and swore. He threw the knife across the room and it clanked as it hit the stone wall. He held something up in front of my eyes but I couldn’t focus on it, I couldn’t bring myself to see what was happening or what had happened.

  “Do you see this?” he screamed.

  I nodded my head even though I couldn’t.

  “It’s not gold! Where is the gold Artemis? I know you’re here, I can feel you! You just can’t help it can you. You always have to meddle!” Jericho spun in a circle, completely crazed. My vision was blurring in and out but I knew I needed to stay conscious. Nothing good came from me being unconscious.

  Jericho came back to me once he was done with his rambling. He had a different knife this time. He didn’t go back to my stomach and I didn’t know if I was relieved or terrified of what he had planned next.

  He pressed the tip into my collar bone. “Every time I come here to do this and I get no results, you get more blood spilled. I don’t need you if I can’t get anything from you.”

  “What about Apollo?” My voice broke when I spoke the god’s name.

  “What about him? Once I show him your torn flesh from your body, that isn’t gold, he won’t want you either.” He laughed then pushed the knife deeper. It didn’t matter, I couldn’t feel it. I couldn’t feel anything and I could hardly think straight. What did my life matter now? I was either going to die in here or out there.

  Crawley was dead, Keenan and Shaskia were safe. That was all that mattered. It didn’t matter if I made it out alive, I was just a human.

  Something warm slid across my chest and my stomach. I closed my eyes at the glorious feeling. It felt like heaven, if heaven even existed.

  “Jessa, don’t be afraid. I will take care of you, I will take care of this. You won’t remember the pain that you are feeling and you will heal, you will heal fast. Faster than you have ever healed.” Artemis’ voice sang softly in my mind.

  I let her words soothe me because I had nothing else. I didn’t think about the consequences of her taking the pain. I just nodded my head in agreement. I knew I wouldn’t survive the pain if she didn’t take it from me. Nothing else mattered but the numbing sensation covering my body.

  “I won’t be here next time he comes but you will soon forget the pain after he is finished, then you won’t remember anything at all of these experiments of his.”

  Jericho screamed for Artemis again and I wondered why she didn’t finish him off. He didn’t seem afraid of the consequences of toying with the gods. He didn’t seem to care if he angered them.

  I blinked my eyes open, slowly. It was painful. Big green eyes were staring back at me. Confusion flooded my mind. Crawley? Crawley was alive? The thoughts passed quickly as my mind processed the new memories I had acquired and where they belonged in my mind.

  “Hey there sugar, you alright?” His southern drawl drew me in again. It was like a magnet.

  I sat up quickly, avoiding a head on collision and realized it was a lot darker in the room than it had been when I imagined I had lost consciousness.

  “How long have I been out?” My tongue didn’t want to corporate and the words were strange coming from my lips.

  “Probably 6 hours.” He crinkled his eyebrows in thought.

  “6 hours?!” There was no way. Memories and visions had never lasted that long and it had seemed so brief too.

  “Yes ma’am.” He smiled at me brightly, as if I hadn’t been passed out on the floor for half the day. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

  I didn’t understand the way his mind was working. He had never really care before, had he? He had always teased me and been brooding. This couldn’t be the same person.

  I touched the scars crisscrossing along my chest and sadness enveloped me. It had been a feat to escape and now I was finding myself back there in my thoughts. I couldn’t escape what had happened, even if I wanted to. I had thought the scaring on my ankles and wrists were bad but it didn’t compare to the pain I had endured at Jericho’s hands.

  He had been ruthless and had enjoyed every second of my pain and torment.

  Crawley gave me an encouraging look. The only thing I could do was take his palm a
nd press it against the scars on my chest.

  “What happened to you?”

  I pulled my sweater back in place as he removed his hand from my skin.

  “Apollo will never stop until I prove that I’m more goddess than mortal. He will never give up.”

  His eyes went dark and I could hear a growl rumbling up his throat. It was always frightening. But it was a good reminder that there had been a reason I had gotten close to Keenan. He was safer but dangerous in different ways. Crawley’s beast was never far from the surface and it did good to have a reminder that he wasn’t all man.

  That one little slip could be my life.

  As the thoughts exited my mind, Keenan popped his head in the door. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like I’m underwater.” It was true. My head was foggy and my hearing wasn’t as sharp.

  He didn’t say anything and disappeared once more. Crawley’s hands at some point had picked mine up and his thumb traced circles on my palm. My heart and mind were in knots.

  Chapter 12

  Crawley

  My beast was going to lose it if I kept finding things out like this. He was getting antsy enough as it was; it had been a few days since I had shifted and I knew he was itching to get out. Itching to protect Jessa. I still couldn’t figure out why he was so protective over her.

  I threaded my fingers through hers, it felt natural. It felt better than natural. Her eyes flicked up at me from under her lashes.

  “There are things I need to do.” Her voice was a whisper.

  “Like what?” I leaned in close to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She shuddered before she leaned into me. I could almost hear beast purring. Good grief.

  “I don’t know if you know about Apollo’s prison but I spent a lot of time there. At this point, I’m not even sure any of my memories of the time frame are accurate.” She held up our joined hands and turned them over. The gold around her wrist shone in the light. “I escaped.”

  Impressed was an understatement. “Alone?”

  She shook her head, making her light brown hair swish around her shoulders. “Yes and no. I escaped, causing these.” She pulled her pants away from her ankles. Gold encircled both ankles and both wrists. “I don’t know how I did it but I pulled my hands and feet from the cuffs that shackled me to the wall.” She closed her eyes while she grimaced. “It pulled the skin away from my body. I could have bled out but I didn’t. This happened instead.”

  It was like I could feel her pain. My body ached for her, all the while rage coursed through my body. I was angry at myself, first for not being able to protect her. I was angry at Keenan for not doing a better job at it and I was mad at Apollo because if it wasn’t for him she wouldn’t have had to go through any of the pain she endured and something inside of me told me that she wasn’t done yet. She pushed herself from the carpet next to me and peeled her sweater away from her stomach. I didn’t understand. I had been there when the gold had filled her wound on the mountain, it wasn’t anything new.

  Then I saw it. The additional scarring around the large gold marking. Deep rivets had been taken from her abdomen and as much as her body had tried to correct what had been done to her, there was no way around the damage, it was too extensive.

  “Who did this to you?” My voice sounded inhuman and I knew my eyes were changing. I could feel the fur bristling under my skin, waiting.

  Jessa sat down in front of me and crossed her ankles. “Jericho. He’s a Syren in Apollo’s prison. Ana is working with him.”

  I couldn’t stop my beast now. He ripped from my skin with such ferocity that Jessa let out a scream. I inhaled her fear, deeply. It was a sickly-sweet scent. Beast rumbled at he made his way toward her. I was powerless and couldn’t stop him from his pursuit. She scooted across the floor until her back hit the side of the bed. She let out an oomph before she put her hands out in front of me. Like that would stop beast. She already knew what he was capable of.

  I leaned in close and sniffed her neck. Delicious. She smelled like honey and brown sugar. My favorite. A rumbled racked up my large form. Then I did something that surprised myself. My long tongue flicked out and traveled up the side of her neck right to her cheek. She let out a shriek then giggled.

  I was so surprised by it, I took a step back and cocked my head to get a better look at her. Her eyes were dancing with joy for the first time, in what I assumed, was a long time.

  When Keenan burst through the door, I knew it was because he had heard her shriek. He took one look at me and frowned, until he saw her face. She was smiling and gods, it was a beautiful sight. Not even Keenan could ruin it. Her eyes were sparkling and for the first time in forever, she looked like a weight had been taken from her shoulders.

  I swelled with pride. I had been the one to do that. I had been the one to take the pain away for just a little while.

  “Want to explain why a huge ass bear is taking up most of the room?” Keenan folded his arms over his chest. The gesture reminded me of our father.

  I shrugged my large shoulders and Jessa rolled her eyes, though there was some mischief there when she looked back at me.

  “Crawley is a big oaf.” She giggled again and it was like all the fear and tension we had felt was gone. Keenan didn’t seem to mind that answer and left the room. With joy radiating from Jessa’s face, I knew beast would let me have control back.

  My body shrank until I was sitting bare assed on the floor in front of her. Her face went bright pink as she averted her eyes then opted for covering them with her hands.

  “Clothes would be nice, Crawley.” There was still laughter in her voice.

  “Yes ma’am!” I leapt from the floor and went right to Keenan’s room. His clothes were a bit snug but until we took the time to take me on a shopping spree, I would be living in Keenan’s world.

  When I was done dressing, and went back to Jessa’s room, Keenan had taken my place and was helping her pick up my shredded clothes. She had a soft, crooked smile still on her lips as they spoke quietly. Keenan reached out and tugged on a strand of her hair, playfully. She blushed and took a step back when she noticed me standing in the doorway.

  I shoved my hands in my pockets and leaned against the doorframe, feeling awkward for interrupting such an intimate moment but he had interrupted ours, so I didn’t feel that guilty.

  I loved seeing her smile and that was all that mattered. Keenan made himself at home on her bed and it made my hackles rise. I knew where his thoughts would be going, especially after the kiss they had shared. I hadn’t been stupid; ease dropping was kind of my thing. Beast loved it more than I did, so technically I could have always blamed it on him.

  Jessa gave him a curious look before turning back to me. “I would imagine you would want to know the rest.” Her face fell and I no longer cared about what had happened in Apollo’s prison or after. I just wanted her happy.

  I said the first thing that came to mind and instantly regretted it. “So, that kiss, huh, huh.” I raised my eyebrows at them encouragingly but it made me feel like shite.

  “Uhhh,” Jessa’s mouth gaped open like a fish as she looked to Keenan. He was bright red, though I couldn’t tell if it was because of rage or embarrassment. Knowing Keenan, it was probably both. He had always hated it when I had eased dropped when we were children. My brother laughed nervously before rubbing his jaw.

  “You told him?” Keenan’s voice was harsh as he looked at Jessa.

  “What? No!” Her eyebrows knitted together as she glared at me.

  Okay, bad idea.

  “Then how did he find out?” My hackles rose at the way he was speaking to her.

  “You must be an idiot.” Laughter laced my words. “I could practically taste the arousal coming from your office.”

  Jessa’s eyes got big before she darted around me, right out the door.

  “Way to go, asshole.” Keenan threw himself back onto the bed and rubbed his eyes. “It wasn’t like that. She’s still hu
ng up on you.”

  I wasn’t sure I had heard him right. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same girl?”

  He rolled his eyes. “She’s been pining for you since what happened with Ana in the valley. I knew I had a chance once you were gone but I felt guilty for wanting that place. Now that you were back, I didn’t feel so guilty anymore.”

  “And why is that?” I scoffed.

  “All is fair in love and war.” He slipped from the room as the words slipped from his lips.

  Chapter 13

  Jessa

  Mortified.

  Mortified was the only way I could explain the way I felt. I had known he would have figured it out but I didn’t think he was going to call us out like that. I stared at the punching bag with determination. I knew they wouldn’t follow me down here and that was exactly what I wanted.

  I didn’t need any interruptions. I imagined Apollo’s face on the bag and let out all the pent-up frustration that had been building. My breathing was coming out in harsh puffs and I knew I needed to hone it all in or I would wipe myself out. Sweat poured down my back as I repeatedly pounded on the bag. I let out a kick and a cry of frustration. I had lost so much muscle and weight. I didn’t know how long it would take me to gain it back but it was just another thing. Another thing that had been taken from me.

  Tears poured from my eyes while sweat poured down my face. I didn’t even know why I was crying. Soon sobs were wracking my body and I couldn’t see the bag in front of me. I kicked out and missed the bag all together. I landed hard on my side, the air leaving my lungs like something fierce.

  “Argh!” I kicked out and soon I was kicking and punching nothing but air, letting out all of my anger in a tantrum on the floor.

  Rough hands pulled me from the floor and gently rocked me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tease y’all.” Crawley sighed loudly. “I don’t want you to think I’m a jerk or something because I wasn’t intending to be like that. It was mostly a joke. I know you care about Keenan.”