Goddess Choice

by A Lonergan

  I shook my head against his shoulder. “No, it’s not like that, I mean…” I rubbed my palms against my eyelids. “There was something there but there wasn’t. There was always something missing. Always something that wasn’t enough and I think the thing that was missing was time. I think if we had had more time, it would have turned into that for me, eventually but,” I paused again, not sure how to proceed.

  “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. You don’t owe me anything.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I’ve been gone, you don’t owe me anything.”

  I cuddled up closer to him, needing that human interaction. His hands rubbed circles on my lower back while his lips trailed along my forehead.

  “He wasn’t-” A sound at the other side of the room made me stop.

  Clapping. Familiar clapping.

  “Oh, look how cute! Playing right into Artemis’ plan.” Apollo’s voice boomed around us. Crawley’s arms tightened around me while I kept my face buried in his shirt. I was tired of the games. I was tired of him and I was tired of it all. I couldn’t handle any of it anymore.

  “Nothing? Nothing to say at all?” Apollo’s voice got closer but I refused to acknowledge him. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. His footsteps were silent but I could feel him getting closer. Crawley tightened his hold on me some more.

  “Artemis would love this. This was her plan from the beginning, after all. Big strong Crawley to make big strong demigod children. Who else would defeat me?”

  This time I finally looked up from Crawley’s shoulder. Apollo was crouched down in front of us with a strange look in his eye. It almost reminded me of Crawley’s jealous look.

  “So, what is it this time? Just here to show me that you can go anywhere? That you can’t be kept from this place like we thought? Just want to torment us some more?” I wasn’t quite sure where all the back bone came from but I knew it was going to get me killed. “Just kill me. I’m more human than god, so why waste your time? Why waste your precious time on a little ole human?” I pushed myself from Crawley’s lap, much against his wishes. He tried to pull me back to him, like he could stop whatever Apollo planned to do to me. Like he could stop any of this from happening.

  I faced Apollo head on and looked him in the eye. “Kill me.”

  My back was against the wall with his hand around my neck, faster than I could blink. I couldn’t stop the smile from stretching across my face. I kept it there even as he started to squeeze the life out of me.

  His eyes lit up. His nostrils flared and the room spun. I noticed Crawley advancing on Apollo before spots took over my vision. Then it was like reality snapped back. Apollo’s grip relaxed and I fell from the wall. My body crumpled underneath me and I tried to keep my head up and steady. I blinked a few times before the room came into focus.

  Apollo was staring at me with an odd look on his face and Crawley was frozen, half shifted in the air behind him. But that wasn’t the weirdest thing about it. Apollo had his head cocked and was smiling.

  He inhaled deeply and smiled again. “No fear. None.” He shook his head at me in confusion.

  “What did you do to Crawley?” The words felt like fire as my voice croaked out.

  He turned away from me slightly but didn’t take his eyes off of me. “I just about killed you and all you’re worried about is a measly animal.” He scoffed. “Nothing permanent. I couldn’t trust him to not maul me, when I’m done here he will resume his useless life.”

  I kept my mouth closed even though a retort was on the tip of my tongue.

  Who was he to decide whose life was important or not? Crawley’s life was important to me.

  “Just when things were starting to get interesting, you disappoint me but I guess that’s what humanity is.” He rolled his eyes.

  “Just because you are jealous of what a human did to you years ago, doesn’t mean you can continue to take this out on others.” I pulled myself from the floor and let my anger push me into Apollo’s amused face. Then the words began to set in and anger replaced the amusement.

  “Having no fear will get you hurt, young one.” Promises of punishment shone in his eyes.

  A part of me almost wanted it, wanted back into the prison I had been thrown into. But I knew I needed to plan it out, I needed to plan out my revenge perfectly or it would never work. “I will let you in on a little secret, I’m not jealous. I’ve had an exceptionally long time to get over my feelings and find new pleasures. For instance,” He began to circle me. “Pushing the human race to be better. Pushing measly humans to be something more, to prove themselves that their existence is worth it. To prove that they deserve a place on this realm.”

  “What does that have to do with me? I’m but one measly human.” I growled at him.

  “Yes, but you are so much more than that. You are another category all together. I test your line, test who you are and then one day, I will offer you the best thing that you could ever desire.”

  There were no words. I didn’t know the man circling me and I didn’t know where to start on trying to comprehend his admission.

  “You know nothing of my desire.” My eyes instinctively jumped to Crawley and I immediately regretted it.

  He smirked. “Oh, no?” He took a step back with a wicked smile and ran his finger up the length of Crawley’s frozen arm. I could hear his beast rumbling in his chest. His eyes followed me and I felt a strange tightness in my chest. I felt a pull to him that I had never felt before. My feet moved on their own accord and the breath was stolen from my lungs. I was by Crawley’s side in seconds and he was being lowered to the floor. I watched as he shifted back and pulled the tattered shirt from his body, remnants of his partial shift.

  His pupils dilated as he made his way closer to my side. I instinctively inhaled his warm masculine scent. A deep rumbled vibrated from his chest as his hand rubbed down the length of my arm. I couldn’t fathom what was unfolding but nothing else mattered.

  Everything else started to fade away to nothing but Crawley. His substantial hands grasped my wrists before he yanked me to him. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. All I could do was watch as his lips captured mine and his body engulfed me. My hands found themselves in the hair at the nape of his neck and everything else happened quicker than I wanted to admit.

  My back was pressed against the wall while his fingers toyed with the edge of my shirt. My breathing was ragged until a sound made me pause.

  Another sound interrupted my mindless thoughts. A door opening, but I couldn’t pull myself out of Crawley’s grasp and he wasn’t stopping. As hard as I tried I couldn’t open my eyes or pull myself away, no matter how divine it felt. Something wasn’t right. I couldn’t remember what had possessed me to let him touch me this way, much less what had happened before.

  Apollo.

  The thought broke whatever spell I had been under. I gasped as I fell out of Crawley’s arms. My back thumped against the wall but the only thing I was worried about was Keenan standing in the doorway with his jaw hanging open.

  Crawley was just as confused as I was, though, his face and body language certainly said he liked it.

  “Ya know, I didn’t think you would act out so soon, brother.” Keenan leaned against the doorway and took a swig from his water bottle. “I always knew you were competitive but this… This is something new entirely. I’m almost impressed.”

  “This isn’t what it looks like, I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what came over us. But you did say, all is fair in love and war.” Crawley was smirking now.

  I spoke before his words registered. “It was Apollo, he was here but my memories are all muddled. I can’t piece together what happened before… before this...” I waved my hands wildly between Crawley and I. Then Crawley’s words stuck. “Wait, what did you say?”

  Crawley wouldn’t meet my eyes. I looked to Keenan for answers. “Want to explain?”

  He looked to the ceiling and avoided my eyes as well.

  �
�It’s not enough that the gods use us in their games but now you two have your own? I just can’t believe it.” I folded my arms over my chest and tried to keep myself from laughing like a lunatic. I absolutely couldn’t believe it. These idiots thought they could play me too. Like I didn’t have enough on my plate already.

  “Let’s get this thing straight.” I pointed between them both. “I’m not a play thing. I’m not a toy. I’m a person, with feelings that are valid. Yes, there seems to be something growing between this damn love triangle but that doesn’t mean I won’t put my foot down. I’ve about had enough with all of this!” I considered stomping my foot but thought better of it. I was already throwing a fit over two gorgeous men fighting over me.

  There’s something wrong with you. I couldn’t stop the thought from forming. I let out a squeak of laughter as both men frowned at me.

  “We didn’t say your feelings weren’t valid.” Crawley tucked his hands behind his back.

  “And this isn’t a love triangle.” Keenan said behind clenched teeth.

  I laughed then and I couldn’t stop. I was right when I had called them idiots.

  “You’re dumb if you think this isn’t a love triangle.” I let out a sigh of frustration.

  “Does that mean you love us?” Keenan was smirking now and I wanted to punch him. He was about to experience my frustration and not in a way that would make him excited.

  I didn’t answer and took my anger out on the punching bag beside him. I had too many things to mull over and couldn’t let them distract me further. Apollo had pulled us into another game and there was nothing I could do to remember what happened. Just that he was here and gone in a split second and his magic was much more potent than I wanted to admit.

  His magic wouldn’t be as much of a surprise anymore but I could lead on that I knew nothing. The element of surprise was the only thing I had left in this game of wits.

  Chapter 14

  Crawley

  Jessa was relentless. She refused to talk to us and refused to admit that we even existed. It had been days and all she did was retreat down into the gym. I would catch her staring at me while she ate but that was it and even then, she shared more looks with Keenan. I could hardly stand it so when it finally became too much, I cornered her on the stairs after one of her grueling workouts. She had a sheen of sweat on her forehead and was muttering to herself as she took two stairs at a time.

  I threw my arm out in front of her and plastered on a fake smile. “Oh hey! How crazy to run into you here, of all places!” I let my body slide into the wall so I could get closer to her.

  She narrowed her eyes at me in response.

  “You come here often?” I was hoping the cheesy approach would get her to come back to me.

  “Nope, sure don’t.” she replied as she rolled her eyes. It was something and that gave my heart some relief.

  “Then I guess it’s my lucky night!” I winked at her, one hundred percent confident. It felt good.

  “What do you want, Crawley?”

  “Awh, the shutdown already?” I pouted to help get my point across.

  “You couldn’t have picked the worst time,” She rubbed her palm across her eyes in agitation. “I’m tired, sore and bent on revenge.”

  I mocked surprise at her words. “Revenge against whom?” I chewed on my bottom lip. “If it’s Keenan we speak of, I have a few suggestions.” I waggled my eyebrows at her.

  Jessa snorted as she cocked her head to the side. “Oh yeah?”

  “Oh yeah,” I leaned in close to fake whisper in her ear when Keenan started to come down the stairs. The look of hatred that flashed across his face was enough for me to do a victory dance. I hadn’t even planned on making him jealous and yet here I was. I winked at him as he passed but I was too focused on smirking at him that I missed Jessa carefully slipping under my arm, up the stairs and quietly into her room.

  “Too worried about the competition to even notice the prize slipping through your fingers…” Keenan shot me a snarky look as he came back into view with a slice of cold pizza, now headed back up to his room.

  I raked my fingers through my hair, annoyed that he was right. Since when was my own brother a competition? Since when had Jessa become a prize to possess? Since when had I lost my head to a woman? I slumped my shoulders and threw my head back.

  I had some serious recon to do. I had been such an ass.

  I trudged up the stairs, straight to Jessa’s room and rasped on the door. She didn’t reply.

  “I have some apologies to make.”

  The door creaked open and Jessa stood there with her hair a wet tangle around her shoulders, staring at me curiously. “I’m listening.” She leaned against the door frame, causing her tank top to hike up over her stomach. I swallowed hard and tried to concentrate on the task at hand.

  “I don’t know what’s come over me. Usually I wouldn’t act this way, especially because my brother is involved and I know what he went through with Chloe.” I pulled my hand down my face and refused to look her in the eye. “I want both of you to be happy and Hades, if it’s going to be with someone else, I would rather it be him. He deserves to be happy.”

  Jessa started to giggle and I felt my frown go deeper. “You really think I’m waiting on someone approval or permission?”

  “Uhhh, is this a trick question?”

  She started to laugh harder. “I need to get out of here.” She tried to close the door in my face but I caught it before it clicked closed. She grabbed a big bag from under the bed and started shoving stuff into it.

  “Did I say something wrong?” I was so confused. I thought I was being the bigger person.

  “Apollo is screwing with everything! Everything. He was the one that staged that kiss so that we would be too distracted by you two idiots fighting over me to worry about anything else. You haven’t even been able to break through the love haze he has on your brain.” She tapped her finger on my temple for emphasis. “Why do you think I’ve been training so hard?”

  “Umm, to get away from us and this love quarrel?”

  Jessa grabbed my face and forced me to look into her steely eyes. “This isn’t a love quarrel. This is a love triangle orchestrated by the gods. Can’t you see that? We could hardly stand each other before you fell into that crater in the earth! Now you can’t live without me and I can’t live without you? It makes no sense!”

  I tried to make sense out of everything she was saying but I couldn’t. There was a truth to her words but I couldn’t get the haze from my thoughts.

  “I need the snarky bastard to come back to me. Not this love-sick puppy.” Then she did the one thing I didn’t expect. She pulled her arm back and punched me right in the kisser. I blinked hard and could have sworn I was seeing stars.

  “Well, shite, Jessa!” Then I could feel it, it was like something snapped. Like a rubber band popping back in my brain.

  The confidence was back. She was still hot as Hades and I knew I needed to go punch Keenan or throttle him or something manly, because we had been love sick for far too long. I needed my partner in crime back and the only way I was going to snap him out of this was to bring him a little pain.

  I put on my best assertive smile and winked at Jessa before yanking the door open.

  “That’s the look I’ve been waiting for!” Jessa poked her head out the door way and slapped my butt. Not only had she gotten rid of the haze on her mind but she had also found a new aggressivenes and I would have been lying if I said it wasn’t hot.

  I kicked Keenan’s door open to find him sprawled out across his bed watching the ceiling fan spin. “What have the gods done to you, brother?”

  Keenan sneered at me. “Come back to rub your victories in my face?” He got off the bed to push me from his room but I was faster than that. I had him in a choke hold on the ground within seconds. He struggled and tried to use my weight against me but it made no difference. My military training kicked in and there was no turning back. I could
feel the old Crawley fitting back into the suit he had left. My beast purred at the back of my mind, content with me regaining all of my consciousness. Though, I knew he didn’t mind the fight over Jessa. My beast had a soft spot for her. I wasn’t sure if I had a soft spot for her myself, but exploring that wasn’t an option at the moment.

  He struggled against me for a few moments until I knew I had kept enough oxygen from his brain and then I released him. He took a few deep breaths then shoved his elbow back at my face. Typical Keenan move. I ducked and darting, avoiding his attacks.

  “When was the last time you went hunting?”

  Keenan didn’t say anything.

  I knew it had been long enough because I hadn’t seen his bow since I had gotten back. Before Jessa had come around, it was practically attached to him.

  “I know Apollo has been a part of your mind since Chloe but he’s been meddling more often with it. It’s time we did a little recon. It’s time that you go back to the Valley.” My voice hardened on the last sentence.

  “I don’t belong there anymore.” He slumped his shoulders.

  “And why not? Because of a woman?” I replied, angrily.

  “She’s not just any woman and you know that just as well as I do!” He shouted in my face.

  “We can’t fall prey to them, brother.” I clasped my hand on his shoulder as I spoke. “I don’t know what snapped me out of it but we haven’t been ourselves. They have been pining us against each other. It’s all a show to them, entertainment. You know how the gods are more than anyone! You studied them with the Elders and now this!”

  Something changed with my words. He blinked and I was staring at my old brother again. He wrinkled his brow and stared at me before getting up from the floor. “We were supposed to be protecting her and look at us… She’s the one that is saving us.” Keenan grasped the back of his neck and left the room.