Goddess Choice

by A Lonergan

  Cent ran to us and spoke quickly, “It’s time to go, we have lingered too long, there’s no telling if Apollo will send more of his henchmen or not.”

  Crawley gave me a sad smile and pulled me forward.

  Chapter 33

  Crawley

  I thought I had known grief. I had thought I had experienced it before to a great extent. I had imagined I knew what it was like to feel a deep, unrelenting pain.

  I had been wrong.

  I knew nothing of pain until I smelled Keenan’s blood. My beast had never roared so loud. We were one and the pain we felt was the worst it had ever been.

  Another wayward tear fell from my eye as I bent forward to lift my brother from the ground. I watched as the other dead were laid into a cart to be pulled back to their people and felt nothing. I knew I could have loaded his body onto the cart and caught up with Jessa but as I watched her mount Sibil, I knew I had nothing to say to her. Her wide, grey eyes followed my movements and I knew she wanted to speak but didn’t know what to say.

  I turned away from her and made my way to the front of the procession. I didn’t have anything to say and I didn’t want to hear anything about putting my brother on the cart. I would bear his weight like I knew he had carried mine emotionally, when I had been gone. Centaurus bowed his head to me and lead the way from the desolate town.

  I had wondered why the town had been so empty as we had marched through it to battle but as we made our way out it made sense. Apollo’s henchmen had either killed them or ran them out or both. I had seen the amusement that had flashed into his eyes when he watched Jessa come at him. I knew then that he was the one that had tried to break her. I knew Keenan had wanted him, I knew Cristoff had as well. He wanted revenge and I would have thought he would have wanted it over Keenan as well, but no blood thirsty feelings came forward from him.

  Nothing surprised me anymore when it came to Apollo. We had under estimated him once again. There was a part of me that was grateful it hadn’t been Jessa but the other part screamed at the thought. How selfish I was being.

  I waited at the portal for two hours before Shaskia had finally come through. Her face, her usually immaculate face, was swollen and puffy from crying. She hugged me tightly before taking his body. I hadn’t wanted to let him go but I knew it was time. We would celebrate his life and wish him safe passage through the underworld soon.

  My feet ached like they had never before and so did my body. As much work as I did, it was mostly in my beast form. My human side didn’t get as much action and it was weighing on me terribly. All I wanted to do was hibernate, especially with all the emotions still running through me. My shoulders slumped forward as I made my way back to the centaur’s village.

  Jessa was waiting for me on the outskirts of the housing when I finally made it back. Her face was worried but hopeful. I shook my head at her, not content with small talk or rather, any talk. More than anything I wanted to be alone. Prim peeked from the side of a house and I lost it. I marched my way to Jessa and grabbed her hand.

  “It’s time to go back to the cabin. I’m done here.” My voice sounded too rough but I didn’t apologize even though I knew I should have.

  She yanked her hand from mine. “I have to say good bye. I have to speak with them. Do you realize how much they did for us? If they hadn’t been there... I probably wouldn’t be standing here either.” She spun on her heel and was out of my sight within seconds.

  Chapter 34

  Jessa

  I saw the pain in Crawley’s eyes. I knew the torment and the demons that were coming forward and I knew there was nothing I could do to make them better. When I rounded a corner of the village I smacked into what seemed to be a brick wall.

  I tried to get my bearings but was having a hard time. I braved myself against a real wall and looked up to the huge blockade in my path. It was Centaurus. He gave me a sympathetic smile.

  My mouth went dry, trying to think of something to say though, his eyes held understanding and concern.

  “You lost a very dear friend, I don’t expect you to stay.” He said.

  “Great now you can read minds too.” I threw my hands in the air, in defeat.

  He laughed. “No, Sibil told me to come find you. They will be staying a few days but she told me that you two would not. The Cyclops understand and don’t wish to speak. They have their own dead to mourn and will be leaving shortly, I’m sure they will request your presence soon.”

  I nodded my head in thought. “Thank you so much. I know you lost many as well and you must mourn with your people.”

  He put his hand on my shoulder. “Yes but we saved many and have gained just as many allies. You saved them and you saved us. We may have lost some but we gained some as well. Thank you, Queen Jessa.” He bowed low then planted a kiss on my hand.

  “Can I speak with Prim?” I asked.

  He swept his hand to the side and there she was. Her golden locks piled high upon her head. She gave me a smile before bursting to tears then sweeping me into a giant hug.

  “I will miss you so much. Please, please, say you’ll visit.” She grasped my hands in hers.

  I let go of one of her hands and reached up to the pendant on my neck. “How can I say no? You saved my life. You made sure I was taken care of in battle and you have been the light at the end of my dark tunnel.”

  She squealed and pulled me into another hug before grasping her father’s hand and walking away.

  I searched high and low for Sibil but couldn’t find her and when I found Crawley, I knew my time was up. He was pacing back and forth outside of the village. When he saw me he threw me over his shoulder caveman style and ran in the direction of the portal. I didn’t mind, I knew he was anxious, as was I. We both needed rest and lots of food. After that I didn’t know what to expect next but I knew it wasn’t over. We had taken much from Apollo and he wouldn’t take it lightly.

  Yes, he had taken Keenan from us but he wasn’t done. He always had an end game and I had a feeling the end was coming very soon.

  Epilogue

  I watched Jessa with disappointment, I could hardly believe that she was fighting me so hard on her agency. I was mostly surprised with that fact that she knew a god was trying to control her. The only thing that I was trying to do was save her life and she had to spite me for it.

  Apollo wanted more than just her life. It wasn’t about killing her anymore. He wanted her. If he couldn't have me, he would have someone else. Someone just as powerful as me because of their humanity. That's what Jessa was. Her humanity was what fueled her power and Apollo was slowly starting to catch on. And his lust for power would kill her, or me. I was entirely sure yet.

  I had never understood the need for his games but he had always thought he was clever. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much I could do. I had cursed my family the moment my sweet mortal child was born. I should have known. I had cursed myself the moment I had let my weaknesses overtake me and it ended up being the best adventure of my existence. I had never known love till I had held my sweet baby in my arms. I had never known real sacrifice until it came to her.

  As much as I wanted Jessa to be able to choose for herself, it was too dangerous, she was too powerful and that was going to destroy her. For a brief moment, I let myself think of Ammon, the sweet mortal that had stolen my heart. We had run for many years, in hopes that one day Apollo would give up. I shouldn’t have been so naive. Grief clutched my heart tightly. I had never thought I was capable of love. I had never thought it was in The Fates plan for me. I had imagined that Apollo would have gotten tired, that he would have wanted to focus on something else eventually, after all these years. No such luck.

  He had never given up and he never would. Apollo was resilient like that, unfortunately. As much as I wanted to live out the rest of my existence in the Underworld with Ammon, it wasn’t allowed. Hades only allowed a few gods into his domain and those gods were heavily monitored. There were many times I had considered turning m
yself into a mortal and taking my own life.

  As much as I thought about it, I knew I could never go through with it. Jessa and all her ancestors had needed me and that fueled me more than my heartache.

  I clutched my shaking hands in front of me. I hadn’t wanted to give her the painful memories back. I hadn’t wanted to watch while she had been tortured but I had no choice. I had rules to abide by. I had my oath I had to stick to even though I found my loop holes when I could.

  I had been genuinely surprised when I had discovered that Crawley hadn’t found his place in the Underworld. I had searched high and low for him in Alaska. Damned Alaska. I was more than tired of that state. It was too cold for me to live in the wilderness unless I lived in the Valley. Even though I had created the Valley for my own protection, it had been too long since I had been

  there. It was populated now and I couldn’t risk exposure and weakness like that.

  I was a god, yes, but that didn’t mean I was invincible and it certainly meant I had enemies. I had had enemies since the day I drew my first breath and I knew I would have them until I drew my last. Jericho had been one of the many that wanted to see my head on a spike. Syrens had always been vicious, revenge driven characters. Though I wasn’t sure why he was driven on revenge for me. As far as I knew, I had never done anything to him, but I was a god and there was no telling. You could never be sure and I would never know, now that he was in the underworld.

  I watched Jessa through the window of the cabin and flicked my fingers forward. Jessa tripped and immediately fell into Crawley’s lap. Her face turned bright red as he brushed her hair behind her ear, affectionately. Finally he was showing her emotion again. It had been too long since Keenan.

  I folded my legs beneath me and wished I had popcorn. Controlling mortals had always been a fun past time, almost as much as watching them interact by themselves but I was tired. I was tired of watching their endless heated looks and a romance between them would have stopped whatever had been brewing with Keenan. Now the toying was to seal their fate, mostly. I had almost rejoiced when she rejected him and then rejoiced again when Apollo finally ended the game with him.

  Keenan had been too dangerous. I hadn’t trust him and Apollo’s ability to take over his body and his mind. I had watched him closely. He had been a ticking time bomb and Apollo had been waiting patiently, that’s what had me so nervous until Apollo took it into his own hands once again.

  It always came back to my twin brother and his tricks but it was my turn. It was my turn for the tricks. A smile stretched across my face as Jessa leaned into Crawley and cupped his face. Their looks were deliciously tender. It was almost too easy.

  Dedication

  There are so many people I have to thank for making this book possible. First being Amy, my amazing and wonderful personal assistant that constantly went above and beyond for me. This book wouldn’t have been finished without her. I know that for a fact. Amy, you are one of the best things that has ever happened to me, I owe you so much.

  Of course, my friends and team that constantly pushed me to keep going and not only to keep going- but supported me and helped me with marketing!

  My family that is always so excited for me to continue writing and pushing myself to be better.

  There are countless people I could name but this would be forever long if I did everything individually!

  I am so incredibly blessed!

  About the Author

  It's a small world and A. Lonergan is living it in Louisiana. She loves her son, reading, meeting new people and dreaming of new stories to tell.