Pushing Over 40

by S M Mala

  ‘Hello Judy,’ Maya said, watching Shona knock back her wine and frowning.

  ‘Where are you?’ Judy asked anxiously.

  ‘At lunch with Shona. Why?’

  ‘I need to see you.’

  ‘I don’t know what time I’ll be back.’

  ‘It’s urgent,’ pleaded Judy.

  ‘Okay,’ Maya said, looking at Shona narrow her eyes waving a hand across her face.

  ‘Not Judy! Don’t invite her here,’ Shona hissed. ‘She’s bloody mental!’

  ‘Come round to mine for six if you can.’

  ‘It’s a bloody Saturday night and I’m supposed to be going out!’ wailed the woman down the other end of the phone.

  ‘You either come round then and delay your socialising or post what you want to say on the website. It’s pretty simple,’ she said, knowing the words were harsh.

  ‘Oh bloody hell then!’ she replied and hung up.

  ‘The waifs and strays you’ve picked up since you started that website,’ Shona laughed.

  ‘I know but Judy’s funny,’ smiled Maya, wondering what could be so urgent then closed her phone. ‘Anyway, how was your holiday?’

  ‘I went away and you’ve been up to god knows what. I told you to keep out of mischief but it seems you couldn’t keep out of men’s underwear.’

  ‘Never a truer word spoken,’ Maya said and sipped her drink. ‘Things come in threes that’s what they say. Tony, then Adam, I wonder what’s next?’

  ‘I really dread to think,’ Shona said, shaking her head in despair.

  The door was being knocked hard and Maya ran quickly towards it to stop the noise.

  ‘Hold on a minute!’ she shouted opening the door as Judy marched in. ‘Nice to see you too!’

  Maya followed her into the living room.

  ‘Bloody hell,’ Judy said, looking stressed. ‘I need your help.’

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Here,’ she said, handing her a twenty pound note.

  ‘What’s that for?’

  ‘I need you to go and buy a pregnancy test for me,’ said Judy, looking stressed out.

  ‘Why can’t you buy one yourself?’

  ‘I hate buying them,’ she said, sitting on the sofa. ‘Go on, quickly.’

  ‘Where am I going to get one at this time?’

  ‘Bloody hell Maya! Go to the fucking supermarket!’

  Maya ran out of the flat and down the road to the large supermarket on the corner and went straight down to the correct aisle, picking up as many tests as she could for the money, minus a half price bottle of Cava for her inconvenience, and headed to the check out.

  She stopped on seeing Dee and the kids and hid behind the counter until they were gone before rushing towards the self-service section.

  There she quickly scanned the items and waited impatiently for it to be finished.

  ‘Auntie Mimi!’ Eadie called out and Maya stopped and waved before picking up a free magazine and wrapping it around the contents in her bag before her niece ran and gave her a hug.

  ‘Hello there,’ she said, giving her a big kiss.

  She saw Jack walk up to her slowly and kissed him on the cheek as Dee followed pushing the trolley.

  ‘Where’ve you been hiding?’ Dee asked, kissing Maya on the cheek. ‘You better come to lunch a week on Sunday. I’d ask you tomorrow but we’re going out.’

  ‘I’ve had a few problems. Then the website’s been taking my time.’

  ‘You have to come, please, if only for a couple of hours,’ Dee said tiredly. ‘You haven’t spent much time with the kids and it has been noticed. What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing,’ she said, forcing a bright smile.

  ‘Even Tony said you hadn’t been in touch,’ sighed Dee and pulled a face before trying to look into her carrier bag which she put behind her back only to be met with a suspicious glance.

  ‘Why would I be in touch with him?’ Maya replied, smiling at the grumpy kids

  ‘Wasn’t he helping you with the website?’ pried Dee.

  ‘He didn’t help much,’ she mumbled and turned to the kids. ‘Shall I make some chocolate brownies if I’m turning up next week?’

  ‘You won’t come,’ dismissed Eadie now giving her the cold shoulder. ‘Even Uncle Adam sees us more than you.’

  ‘That’s because he’s a good man,’ said Maya laughing at the thought of what she got up to with Adam. ‘I have to go. I’ve got a friend waiting for me so I better take these.’

  ‘What have you got in there?’ asked Jack, poking at the bag.

  ‘The future,’ Maya said and rushed out of the supermarket and ran all the way home.

  ‘I’m dying,’ Maya said, panting as she got back in to find Judy drinking wine, with her feet up as she watched television. ‘If you’re pregnant you can’t be drinking!’

  ‘Did you get them,’ she said, opening the bag and seeing inside. ‘What the fuck is that?’

  Judy held out the supermarket brand.

  ‘They all work. Why couldn’t you do this at home?’ she asked as Judy ran to the bathroom and shut the door.

  All Maya could hear was her swearing and five minutes later she came out of the toilet looking dazed.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Maya asked.

  ‘False alarm,’ she sighed before heading towards her glass of wine. ‘The witch started, thank fucking Christ!’

  ‘Hold on a minute? I thought you wanted to get pregnant!

  ‘I do,’ said Judy, dazed as she sat down.

  ‘I don’t understand what’s going on,’ said Maya, sitting down next to Judy who was literally necking back the wine without swallowing.

  ‘I might have been pregnant with another man’s child. A black man’s child when my husband is actually white and ginger,’ replied Judy, stunned by her own comment.

  ‘Oh fuck!’ said Maya and sat back on the sofa. ‘Judy, I told you to be careful.’

  ‘I was careful but you know how it is, in the heat of the moment you don’t think straight, do you?’

  ‘That was a close shave! You have to be serious about this and knock lover boy on the head. Imagine what your man will say if he finds out!’ Maya was still trying to catch her breath from running down the road. ‘Don’t fuck up your life for a bunk up believe me it’s not worth it.’

  ‘Thing is, this bloke, he makes me feel sexy… and my man? Well he sticks it in like he’s having a poke around all because I want to have a child. He used to be passionate but because everything is based on ovulation and temperature, it’s so clinical. We don’t even kiss while we’re doing it for fuck’s sake!’

  ‘How comes life is never easy, aye?’

  A week later, after spending most of the morning baking, she turned up at the house promptly at noon with her freshly made chocolate brownies.

  ‘Hello,’ she said brightly to a shocked Dee. ‘I’m here and would you like some help?’

  ‘You decided to turn up,’ Harry said, drinking a bottle of beer. ‘And you look human. Alright you can let her in.’

  ‘That’s a bit early to be knocking it back,’ Maya said and kissed her brother on the cheek.

  ‘You’re a bad sister and a really bad aunt for neglecting us for so long. What’ve you been up to?’ he said, looking at her straight in the eye.

  ‘You know me, shagging around to get impregnated, same old, same old,’ she said, handing over a container and walked into the living room shocked to see Adam smiling at her while sipping a bottle of beer. ‘And talk about shagging, how the hell are you?’

  ‘Never better,’ he said and looked across the room so her eyes would follow his.

  Penelope was standing in the garden talking to Eadie.

  ‘Ah! You’re back together then?’ she smiled, feeling happy to see Adam but a little peed off that he’d brought his woman along. ‘She’s the forgiving type.’

  ‘Sort of,’ he said, standing up and leaning to give her a kiss then whispered. ‘Thank god we fucked when we di
d. I still think about it and get a massive-.’

  ‘Penelope!’ Maya smiled, watching the pretty Spanish woman walk into the living room and narrow her eyes at the pair of them. ‘I’m really pleased to see you again.’

  ‘Hello Maya,’ Penelope replied and flashed Adam a dirty look before kissing Maya on the cheek.

  ‘Everything okay with you two?’ Maya asked, looking at Adam sheepishly, while Penelope had a forced grin.

  ‘We’re taking things slowly,’ she said and walked out of the living room.

  ‘What’s that about?’ hissed Maya. ‘You didn’t say anything, did you? She was acting a little odd… for her.’

  ‘No fuck way! I’m not telling anyone about that,’ he whispered. ‘She doesn’t trust me with anyone.’

  ‘And she has good bloody reason not to.’ Maya looked out at the table and saw it was fully loaded with places. ‘Have I forgotten someone’s birthday?’

  ‘How the hell would I know?’ answered Adam and smiled at her the same way he did when they were in bed.

  ‘Stop it,’ she said seriously. ‘When am I getting my money back?’ His grin now faded. ‘I see.’

  ‘I’ll sort it out,’ he said and stepped closer before stroking her arm gently, giving her goose pimples. ‘I can’t forget what happened.’

  ‘Like you said,’ she quietly replied. ‘It was a one off.’

  Maya then walked straight out into the garden and noticed Eadie was ignoring her.

  ‘Hell Eadie,’ Maya said to her niece.

  ‘So you came?’ she sniffed.

  ‘You told me off and I realised I haven’t been putting my most precious girl first,’ she said seriously and sat down on the bench. ‘I made chocolate brownies for dessert.’

  ‘I don’t like them anymore.’

  ‘Oh well that’s a shame as Uncle Adam can eat them.’

  ‘I don’t know why he brought her,’ Eadie said, looking at Penelope. ‘He doesn’t even like her that much.’

  ‘Don’t go sticking your nose into anyone’s business,’ Maya hissed and saw Adam blankly stare out into the garden while Penelope looked like she was giving him an ear bashing. ‘Your uncle is a little strange.’

  ‘That’s what he says about you. If you two married it would be perfect.’

  ‘It would be a miracle,’ Maya laughed and hugged Eadie. ‘I missed you but I’ve had a few problems and they’re all sorted now.’

  ‘What problems?’

  ‘You know, life’s little ups and downs,’ she turned to Adam and smiled then glared at Tony’s house.

  ‘Have you still got a boyfriend?’ Eadie whispered. ‘I didn’t tell anyone and then I didn’t think anyone would believe me if I did.’

  ‘Nice!’

  ‘So have you?’

  ‘No I haven’t got a boyfriend. It didn’t work out but…’ she grinned over at Adam. ‘I got something surprising out of it and rather nice.’

  The table was packed with friends and neighbours, making everything a little squashed. Harry was on good form and Maya noticed Adam was occasionally looking over at her and smiling. It was relief to be able to walk away and get some space in the garden from the constant nattering.

  She sat on the bench and rested her glass of water on the table feeling a little bit more tired than usual and sighed, stuffed from the meal. There was a slight commotion in the living room but Maya ignored it and stared out into the garden before looking across at Tony’s home then feeling really pissed off with the user and abuser.

  ‘Look who’s here,’ Dee announced and Maya turned to see it was Tony and his eldest daughter, Alice.

  Her heart sank.

  ‘Hi,’ Maya said and smiled at Alice unable to look at her father.

  ‘Tony, come and help me with some drinks. Alice you stay here and chat with Maya,’ Dee cheerfully said and dragged him back into the house.

  Maya noticed he flicked a glance in her direction.

  ‘Hi again, ‘Alice cheerfully said. ‘I haven’t seen you for ages.’ She sat opposite Maya who sipped her drink and smiled. ‘You’ve got the right idea sitting outside, it’s mayhem in there!’

  ‘I know. It usually is but the big boys seem to have fun.’

  They both glanced at Harry and Adam playing with the kids. Maya saw a pissed off Penelope glaring at Adam.

  ‘Is that Adam’s girlfriend?’ Alice asked and Maya immediately knew she fancied him.

  ‘It is but they’re going through a rough patch at the moment,’ Maya replied and turned around. ‘How’s Eve?’

  ‘In love or something, the last time I heard,’ sighed Alice. ‘She’s in love with being in love whereas I know it’s all crap.’

  ‘It’s not if you find the right person,’ said Maya, dreading seeing Tony face to face after a month. ‘Then you think they’re the right person but they’re not.’

  ‘You’ve not come round to see Dad recently. I thought he was helping you with the website.’

  ‘He was but I don’t need his help anymore,’ Maya sighed and smiled at Alice. ‘No boyfriend for you then?’

  ‘I don’t like boys,’ she said and looked out into the garden.

  ‘A bit like me. I’m off men at the moment.’

  ‘No I prefer girls,’ she confidently replied.

  ‘You’re probably on to a winner there, Alice, as they hopefully don’t treat you as shit as blokes do,’ smiled Maya, stunned by the revelation but trying to act cool. ‘Don’t go telling Adam you’re gay by the way or he’ll think he can turn you.’

  ‘I’m bisexual,’ she replied. Maya suddenly didn’t know what to say. ‘So I’m open to anything.’

  ‘There you go,’ said Dee, handing Alice a glass of wine and smiling.

  ‘Where’s dad?’

  ‘He’s chatting to someone inside,’ said a very cheerful Dee as she walked back in.

  ‘She fancies my father,’ laughed Alice and looked at Maya. ‘I’m sorry I hope you don’t mind me saying that?’

  ‘Not at all,’ replied Maya, feeling uncomfortable. ‘Your dad probably has loads of admirers.’

  ‘He has a fair few. He didn’t date anyone for a year after mum died then we told him he had to find someone to make him happy. I didn’t expect him to literally shag her out of his system.’

  ‘So he took to sowing his wild oats easily?’ she asked, knowing what he’d told her about still finding his feet.

  Maya realised he’d found another part of his anatomy.

  ‘Man, he was like a bunny on heat. We were really upset at first but he had to get through the loss some way or another and sex is what he does.’

  ‘Do you think he has got over the loss?’

  ‘I doubt it! He’s still screwing about.’

  ‘It must be strange seeing your dad with different women,’ Maya said, sighing deeply and feeling the most massive bash to her ego ever, knowing he’d played her for a mug.

  ‘The most recent one is an art editor from ‘Tatler’. She’s pretty trendy for dad but they get on really well,’ said Alice as Maya’s heart sunk a bit and she gulped.

  ‘As long as he’s happy, that’s the most important thing. I’m sorry Alice, I have to go. Sunday nights I work on the website before I have to do the paying job in the week day.’

  She got up and kissed Alice on the cheek then stepped around the guests so she wouldn’t run into Tony, who was in the living room talking to Harry.

  ‘Say bye to everyone for me,’ Maya said to Dee.

  ‘Why are you going so soon?’ she asked, grabbing her arm.

  ‘I feel a bit tired. And I’m due on so you know how it is.’

  ‘I know how it is, don’t you worry. Thanks for coming,’ Dee said, kissing her on the cheek.

  ‘Thanks for inviting me,’ she replied and heard Tony laugh before walking out of the front door and heading home.

  As she walked, Maya felt a little sick and knew wolfing down her own brownies made her queasy. But she was really pissed off with the line Tony
had strung. Then Maya felt her arm being pulled back a minute later.

  It was the man in question.

  ‘Are you avoiding me?’ he asked, looking flustered.

  ‘I’ve got to go,’ she replied, feeling her heart thunder and unable to look at him mainly through the shame of her own ego.

  ‘I’m really sorry about what happened when I-.’

  ‘Don’t worry about it,’ Maya said and quickly walked away.

  ‘Maya,’ he said, catching her up. ‘It was unforgivable the way I behaved.’

  ‘You wanted me to sell the website and thought a quick fuck on my sofa might sway me.’

  She held her breath trying not to cry at the sentence.

  ‘Stop,’ he said. ‘Look at me!’

  ‘Don’t cause a scene, this is your road,’ she said, diverting her eyes.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I never meant to hurt you.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ she looked into his eyes and could see he was etched with worry. ‘Alice says you’ve got a new girlfriend.’

  Tony stepped back and looked a little bit shocked by the comment.

  ‘I’ve been seeing someone for a few weeks,’ he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

  ‘Good. Life moves on, so they say.’

  ‘It does,’ he nodded and looked away. ‘How’s the baby making thing going?’

  ‘I don’t want to discuss this with you,’ Maya said, summoning her last bit of pride and standing tall. ‘It’s none of your business.’

  ‘Okay,’ he sighed. ‘I miss you.’

  ‘No you don’t, you never did. You strung me along not only for a screw but because you wanted knowledge about my website. God, do you know how that makes me feel!’

  She turned and walked down the road holding her head up high before crying when she went round the corner. There was a beep of the horn and she saw Penelope driving and Adam looking at her, shaking his head in dismay.

  Now

  She smiled as she read Natalie’s entry on the website.

  ‘Everyone!

  I’m pregnant at long last!

  I didn’t want to say anything as I was waiting for the nuchal scan and the results of the CVS. I had to make doubly sure.

  Thank you to everyone for the words of encouragement and support and especially for Maya who told me not to give up and helped me a great deal. I hope all is well with you and I’m another addition to the ‘Pushing over 40’ knocked up club.