Tattoos & Tears (Complete Collection)

by Amiee Louise

  I push the iPad back to Ruby.

  “Where the fuck do they get this shit from? How the fuck do they know all that? My name, what I do, where I work? Oh, my God, Ruby.”

  I feel myself starting to panic. Ruby gets up from her stool and puts her hands on either side of my face.

  “Babe, please calm down. You know what the press are like. They’re all fucking scum bags who make up shit because they’ve got nothing better to do.”

  I let out a breath. “What am I going to do, Ruby? Everyone’s going to know. Look at the picture, for fuck’s sake. He must have known someone was there, he had to.”

  Ruby pulls me in for a hug. “Look, babe, call him. There’s no use thinking the worst when he’s not here to defend himself.”

  I look at her and put my hand to her forehead. “Are you feeling all right? That sounded very diplomatic for you, babe.”

  She laughs. “I’m feeling fine apart from this fucking morning sickness. I’m making an appointment later.”

  My face drops, and I nod. Before I can say anything else, my phone starts ringing again.

  “Babe, I am so fucking sorry,” Sam says before I even say hello. He sounds upset, and his voice is filled with panic.

  “We’re all over the front page, Sam. Fuck, how did they know some of that stuff? Did you know someone was photographing us?”

  I hear him gasp, and he sounds genuinely shocked at my accusation.

  “What the fuck? No, of course I didn’t. I swear! You have to believe me, babe. I’d never do anything to purposely jeopardise us, ever, you mean too much to me.”

  I pause and put my hand to my head. “What are we going to do, Sam? They know everything, my name, where I work, what I do. Who the fuck told them all that?”

  I feel myself start to panic and Ruby mouths ‘deep breaths’ from across the room. I take a deep breath and wander into my bedroom.

  “I’ll get Tate, our P.R guy, to sort it, issue a statement, do an interview. I don’t know. Please believe me, babe. I didn’t know anything about this. I’m more shocked about this than you are, trust me,” he says in a rush.

  “The first I knew about it was my mum calling me this morning. I wasn’t even out of bed.”

  He laughs. “I bet that was one hell of a wakeup call for you!”

  I laugh too, and I hear a knock on the flat door. I stand in the doorway of my bedroom as Ruby opens the door. Danny walks into the flat waving the newspaper around with a pile of newspapers and magazines under his arm.

  “Oh, my God, babes. You and the rock star, who knew!” he shrieks in a pitch that is way too high for this time of the morning and I roll my eyes.

  “Look, Sam, I have to go; my friend Danny is here.”

  I hear the smile in his voice when he says, “OK, babe, I’ll see you at lunch. I’ll come by the shop around twelve, depending on my schedule.”

  “OK, bye.”

  I hang up the phone and Danny spreads the newspapers and magazines over the coffee table in the living room.

  “You’re everywhere, darling, you’re a celebrity!” he says dramatically. “If you get invited to any celeb parties you have to take me with you, babe! It would be totes-amaze balls for my TV and modelling career.”

  I laugh. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dan, bloody hell.”

  He jabs his finger on the newspaper. “You, my lovely, are dating one of the most famous rockers in the world and I’m getting ahead of myself? Fucking hell, darling, you’re practically wanking him off in some of these pictures!”

  I take a closer look. The picture on the front page shows Sam and me in a clinch, I am looking up at him; we are both smiling, unaware that we are being photographed and my hand is clearly visible on his crotch. I flush with embarrassment and put my head in my hands.

  “Fucking bastards,” I shout at no one in particular and grit my teeth. I sit down on the sofa in the middle of Danny and Ruby. They both put their arms around me.

  “What am I going to do?”

  We spend the next half an hour dissecting the pictures and stories in the newspapers. Some say I am a publicity stunt, and some say I am a one-night wonder; it doesn’t help my nerves and the feeling of anger bubbling up inside me. I am so fucking angry—not at Sam, but at the person who took these pictures of us sharing an intimate moment together. I know I should expect it because he is a worldwide superstar and one-quarter of a famous rock band. It comes with the territory, but part of me hates that our private lives are out there for public consumption and for everyone to judge.

  I look at the clock and get up from the sofa. I leave Ruby and Danny gossiping on the sofa while I grab a shower and get dressed for work. Once I am showered and dressed, I go out into the living room, grabbing my jacket and my bag.

  “I’m off to work now, or I’ll be late, babe.”

  Ruby smiles. “OK, sweetie, are we meeting for lunch today?”

  I pull a face. “Sam’s taking me for lunch; we kind of need to chat about the whole newspaper situation. I’m sorry.”

  Her smile fades, and she nods. “I understand, babe, it’s totally fine. I’ll see you when I get back from work. I’ll pick up some wine, and we can have a proper girlie chat.”

  “Bye, babe. Bye, Danny.”

  Danny waves. “Don’t forget your sunglasses! Hugs, sweetie.”

  I smile to myself and leave for work. I drive the ten minutes to work, glad that I don’t have to endure the twenty-minute tube ride. I park the car next to Seb’s red BMW Z4 in the car park and go into the shop.

  “Mornin’, honey bunny,” Seb greets me.

  “Morning, pumpkin.”

  He has my coffee waiting and sits in his chair with his bulging, tattooed, muscled arms folded.

  “Someone’s quite the celebrity this morning, babe.”

  I shake my head. “Don’t you bloody start. I’ve had it from my mum, Ruby, and Danny this morning already. I came here to get away from it for a while.”

  He laughs. “I’m not judging, babe; you know I’d never do that. If you need to chat I’m here for you, even if it’s just to vent and get stuff off your chest.”

  “Thanks, honey, I really appreciate it.”

  I hug him and go to the back of the shop to stow my stuff away. I take off my coat, and I’m ready for the day ahead. I am about to go out into the shop when my phone starts ringing.

  “O-M-F-G, Peyton!” my older sister, Eden, screams down the phone. Great, that’s all I need. “Why didn’t you tell me about you and Bolt? He is a hottie!”

  I roll my eyes and imagine her dramatically fanning herself with her hand.

  “Hey, sis, I’m fine, thanks for asking, how are you?”

  She giggles. “Hey sis, how are you? Now spill, I want all the gory details about you and Bolt.”

  “There’s nothing to tell, honestly. Sam and I met when I tattooed him at the shop. He asked me out, we had dinner, and now we’re sort of dating. That’s all there is to it, no major drama, Eden.”

  She gasps. “Oh, my God!” she screams again, and I’m not sure I can handle her shrieking this early in the morning.

  “Can I be a bridesmaid?”

  I roll my eyes.

  “That’s exactly what Ruby said, and I’ll tell you exactly the same as I told her, don’t get ahead of yourself, babe. It's early days. I’m not sure I want to date someone whose private life is splashed all over the papers.”

  “Oh please! Stop playing the martyr, sis, it would be so great for your career; you could go and tattoo in America or somewhere exotic, get away from that God awful tattoo shop.”

  I wondered how long it would be before she started on me.

  “How many more times, Eden? I’m happy working here with Seb.”

  I hear her sigh audibly down the phone, which is definitely my cue to get off.

  “Look, I’m at work, and my appointment has just arrived, I’ll call you when I get chance,” I lie.

  “OK, sis, maybe we can meet up soon, we can
double date. Jonah and I, you and Sam.”

  “Yeah, maybe. Talk to you soon, babe.”

  “Bye, sis, love ya.”

  “You too, Eden, bye.”

  I hang up the phone and stomp out into the shop.

  “Is everything OK, babe?” Seb looks at me with concern.

  “Yeah, just my sister being a judgemental bitch as usual.”

  “That’s sisters for you, babe. Unfortunately, you can choose your friends but not your family, right?”

  I nod. “Yeah, that’s very true, babe,” I manage with a smile.

  “You’ve got two appointments this morning, none scheduled for this afternoon, so you can take the afternoon off if you want to. You deserve it.”

  He smiles warmly, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to have a rare afternoon to myself. I take a sip of my coffee and welcome the familiar caffeine hit as it slides down my throat. An hour later, my appointment arrives, and it is a relatively small tribal butterfly tattoo on a young woman’s shoulder blade.

  When the stencil is all set, and I’m ready with my inks to begin, she looks at me curiously.

  “Aren’t you the girl in the newspaper with Bolt from Rancid Vengeance?”

  I wondered how long before someone bought it up.

  “Yeah, that’s me.”

  She is lucky that she has her back to me.

  “Oh, my God, that is so cool. It must be awesome dating a rock star.”

  I roll my eyes.

  “Yeah,” I give her a one-word answer not wanting to elaborate and carry on tattooing her. An hour and plenty of idle chit-chat about Rancid Vengeance later, I am finished doing her tattoo. I put a layer of Vaseline on her tattoo and wrap it up, then take off my rubber gloves, put them in the bin, and go over to the reception desk where the till is. She pays me the money, and I give her an aftercare sheet. She takes it and smiles.

  “Thanks so much for doing my tattoo, Peyton, see you around.”

  She winks and leaves the shop. I roll my eyes at Seb, and he laughs. Half an hour later, I have wiped down my station and have it set up for my next client. I go to the back of the shop and check my phone. I have several missed calls and a text from Sam.

  Hey babe

  Meet me at that pizza place down the street from your shop at 12:30pm

  Looking forward to it

  S x

  I smile and instantly relax as I read his words. I go back out into the shop, and my next client has arrived. Two hours later, I am finished with my second and last client for the day. I wipe down my station for the final time today and get my stuff from the back of the shop. I pull on my jacket, grab my bag, and hug Seb.

  “Thank you so much for giving me the afternoon off, babe. I really appreciate it.”

  “Anytime, babe, you deserve the break. Now, go and do some girl shit!”

  I laugh at Seb’s dry sense of humour. I hug him, and he kisses me on the cheek.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, honey.”

  He winks, and I leave the shop. I breathe in the fresh air and walk towards the pizza restaurant. As I am walking down the street, I see a familiar face that I would rather avoid. My ex, Callum. He spots me straight away, and his face lights up. He is tall, his eyes are the same light brown, he is still lean, tanned and muscled, and his hair is a lighter blonde and longer than before, resembling a surfer boy. He smiles, and it makes my skin crawl.

  “Peyton.”

  I am tempted to walk right past him, but I don’t.

  “Hey, Callum, how are you?” I say tightly, and he nods.

  “Yeah, I’m great, thanks. How are you?”

  I nod and smile. “Yeah, I’m fantastic, thanks.”

  He looks me up and down.

  “Looking good as always, baby cakes.”

  I visibly shudder at his pet name for me, and I can’t believe he is standing in front of me acting as if he did nothing wrong.

  “I wish I could say the same for you. You’re a slimy bastard Cal, and you fucking cheated on me. You shagged that filthy slut behind my back, and you have the balls to stand in front of me as if nothing happened? Just when I thought you couldn’t sink any lower, I bump into you here of all places. I’m seeing someone new, and he is not you, he is nothing like you. You damaged something in me, Callum. I’m terrified to let him get close to me because of you.”

  I jab him in the chest, and he actually has the balls to look shocked at my outburst. Every time I see him, he makes me so angry and what he did comes to the forefront of my mind—it makes my blood boil.

  “I’m really fucking sorry, Peyton, I really am. I saw Ruby and your mum a while ago, I got the whole story. I hated myself when I heard, but if you think I was a filthy cheat and a liar spinning you a line, Sam fucking Newbolt or Bolt whatever they call him, he is a new breed of scumbag. I know because the girl I cheated on you with is his sister. There’s stories all over the internet and in the papers about you seeing him. Google images fucking loves you.”

  I scowl and feel like I have been punched in the chest. Inside, I feel like I want to cry, but I hold my own.

  “You actually have time to sit and Google me? Wow, you really need to get a life, Cal. How do I know you’re not lying about Sam’s sister?”

  He takes out his phone and shows me a picture. As soon as I see the picture, I feel bile rise up in my throat. The picture is of Callum and a beautiful, striking, dark-haired female who looks like she could be a model, which I’m assuming is Sam’s sister. She bears an uncanny resemblance to him, and Sam is in the centre of the picture smiling back at me. They all look so happy and carefree. I feel my whole world crashing around me as I take in the image before me—I feel like I have been slapped in the face. I take a deep calming breath to stop my guts vacating in the middle of the pavement.

  “It was taken when Savannah first took me to meet her parents; he’d just got home after a tour.”

  I feel the hot sting of tears behind my eyes, and I swallow back the lump in my throat, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. He goes to brush my arm, and I flinch away from him.

  “Don’t you dare fucking touch me, Callum Kennedy,” I manage to choke out.

  “Look, Peyton. I’m so fucking sorry I cheated. I never meant to hurt you, and I definitely didn’t mean for you to walk in that day.”

  I shake the image of him having sex with another girl from my mind. Wishing I could erase the image for good.

  “But you should know Sam is a player. He tells women exactly what they want to hear. I know because I’ve been out partying with him and I’ve seen it first-hand with my own eyes. You deserve to know what a prize prick he is.”

  I laugh bitterly. “Takes one to know one, Cal.”

  “I deserved that one totally.”

  I look up to the sky and compose myself.

  “I was fucking pregnant with your baby, Cal, and all the time you were cheating on me. Tell me one thing, where were you when I was having the miscarriage? Were you with her?”

  He hangs his head.

  “Are we really going to do this in the middle of the fucking street?”

  I look defiantly up at him. “If we have to, yeah.”

  He lets out a breath.

  “Yeah, yeah I was. Is that what you want to hear? I was fucking her; I was balls deep in her while you were losing our baby,” he says coldly, and I slap him so hard across the face, my hand stings.

  “I deserved that one, too. Look, yeah, I was a shitty boyfriend.”

  I can’t stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks, but I quickly brush them away.

  “I tried to fucking kill myself because of you, Cal.”

  My voice is shaky with tears, and he is stunned into silence.

  “I-I-I had no idea, Peyton.”

  I take a deep breath. He puts his hand to his mouth and shakes his head.

  “I didn’t know, I …”

  Somehow, I know he is going to say sorry again.

  “Don’t you dare sa
y you’re fucking sorry, Cal. I had lost our baby, I had lost you, and my whole world came crashing down around me. I had lost everything that I ever cared about.”

  He goes to walk towards me, and I take a step back.

  “Don’t, I have to go. I’m late for a lunch date.”

  I turn to leave, and he grabs my wrist, glancing down at the large, ugly white scars that mar my wrist.