Capturing Forever

by Erin Dutton

  “Why are you so ready to shove me off on someone else?”

  “Mom.” She’d used that same chastising tone on him numerous times. “You’re talented and passionate. A student who’s just as excited about the work as you are could really learn a lot from you. And maybe you’d get something out of it, too.”

  “I’ll consider it.”

  “Great. I’m going to finish my movie.”

  Casey went back to flipping through the pictures from last weekend. When she reached the series she’d taken of Jacqueline, she stopped. She’d said at the time that Jacqueline looked distant, but now she saw that it was more than that. She appeared almost sad. She tried to remember what they’d been talking about right before that moment. Jacqueline had handed over Casey’s bird book. The mood had been light and familiar—one of their more stress-free interactions. And when she turned around, Jacqueline had taken her breath away. She stared out over the water, not moving even when the wind swept a strand of hair across her face.

  She’d been taken by Jacqueline’s beauty and the simplicity of the moment. But looking at the photo now, she couldn’t recapture that feeling. The day had been colored by what happened after. She should have said no when Jacqueline asked to come in, especially since she still felt weak from that kiss at the park. But Jacqueline’s assertion that they should try something other than their usual communication pattern had caught her off guard.

  Then, she had a whole list of “should-haves” in regard to sleeping with her. She should have stopped it after the kiss, before the shower, after the shower—any one of those times, really. She’d been angry when Jacqueline said having sex was a mistake, but actually, the comment hadn’t been so out of character for her. Jacqueline panicked—and when she did, she tried to back out of a situation as quickly as possible. Casey had acted predictably as well. She knew what to say to cut Jacqueline the deepest, and when they argued, she’d never hesitated to inflict pain.

  Finding Jacqueline still in the living room afterward had been the surprise. The openness and naked honesty of that exchange was what had Casey reeling. Though Jacqueline had agreed to give her time to think, she’d made it clear that she both wanted to talk further and to maintain some kind of relationship. But Casey couldn’t have another conversation until she knew for certain what she wanted from Jacqueline.

  She was becoming more and more convinced that she wanted another chance at a relationship, but she worried that they would put the feelings of their family on the line along with their own. They both needed to have changed, or the outcome would likely be the same. And even if she could figure her own self out, she didn’t know if one brave stand in the living room was enough to convince her that Jacqueline had.

  Chapter Twenty

  Jacqueline poured a splash of rum into a glass, topped it with Coke, and dropped in a few ice cubes. As soon as she’d returned to her room, she’d grabbed the ice bucket and made a quick trip to the vending area down the hall. She didn’t usually indulge in anything from the minibar, but she didn’t feel like going to the hotel bar.

  She’d just finished making her drink when she heard a knock at the door. After she answered it, she wished she’d insisted she and Marti meet downstairs. She’d thought they needed a little privacy for this conversation. But Marti had shown up in her flight-attendant uniform, and Jacqueline was kind of a sucker for the high-waisted skirt and that scarf tied around her neck.

  “Hey, come on in.” She stepped back, then closed the door behind her. She lifted her glass. “Rum and Coke. Can I make you a drink?”

  “No, thanks.” Marti sat on the edge of the bed and crossed her legs. Jacqueline’s eyes followed as if they had no choice, and when she jerked them back to Marti’s face she found a look of satisfaction. “I didn’t think I’d be hearing from you again.” Marti patted the bed beside her.

  “I didn’t either.” Jacqueline chose the chair across the room instead. “I need to apologize for the last time we saw each other.”

  “You really don’t.” Marti’s gaze flickered as if searching Jacqueline’s expression. “It’s Casey, isn’t it?”

  “No. Yes. Kind of.” Ending a previously satisfying casual sexual relationship over a woman she had little chance at getting back with could go down as the stupidest thing she’d ever done.

  Marti uncrossed, then recrossed her legs. “I hope you’re not expecting me to be honorable and tell you that you should be with her.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Good. Because I’m not that woman. I know you guys were together for a while, but that was ages ago and it didn’t work out for a reason, right?”

  Jacqueline nodded.

  “This—what we have—it works for me. It’s easy, and we both know what it is. I’m not looking for more. But I don’t want to give it up either.”

  Though she thought she knew the answer, she let herself consider whether she could continue to sleep with Marti. They’d never had any expectation of commitment, and Marti said she didn’t want one now. Unfortunately, Jacqueline did. And not with Marti. “I think I have to.”

  “For her?”

  She shook her head. “For me.”

  “And when she doesn’t take you back, will you be calling me again?”

  “No. I respect you too much to do that.”

  Marti raised her brows. “And if I’m not looking for your respect?”

  Jacqueline stood and paced to the window. Shit, Marti didn’t play fair with that sexy little growl. She could try to lose herself in sex with Marti, but she’d be lying if she said she wouldn’t think about Casey. “This isn’t about you. It’s about what I need.”

  “We’ve never been monogamous. Why does anything have to change?”

  “Maybe you’re right. It is about her—a little bit, at least. Casey and I may not be together, but I’m realizing that nothing less is acceptable to me.” Before Marti could respond, Jacqueline’s phone vibrated against the nightstand. Jacqueline grabbed it and read the display. “I’m sorry. I need to call Sean. He says it’s important.”

  “Of course.”

  She dialed and stepped over by the window. Sean answered right away. “What’s up?” she asked.

  “Don’t freak out. Everyone’s okay.”

  A jolt of fear jumped into her throat. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m at the hospital with Mom—”

  “What happened? Is she okay?” The alarm grew, nearly taking her breath away.

  “Yes. It’s Poppa. He burned himself pretty bad, and Mom, too.” He spoke quickly and started to sound panicky himself.

  “Slow down. Tell me what happened.” She forced herself to stay silent while he explained that he and Casey had been at her father’s for dinner. Her father was trying to move a pot of boiling water from the stove to the sink when he spilled it, splashing his arms and chest.

  Before Jacqueline could ask why Sean and Casey had let him tend to boiling water, he said, “Mom said she only turned her back for a second before he grabbed the pot. She’s pretty upset. And when he got burned he dropped it, and water splashed on Mom’s legs. She’s got some burns, too. The doctor said hers are minor.”

  Jacqueline paced across the room. “Okay, I’m still in Atlanta. I’ll make a few calls and see if someone can cover my meeting tomorrow, and then—”

  “Don’t worry about it, Mama.” Sean sounded more confident. “I just wanted to let you know about Poppa. They’ll probably be released before you can get here anyway. I’ll take them home, and if they need someone with them tomorrow, I can skip class.”

  Numbly, Jacqueline mumbled a response that Sean seemed satisfied with, since he then said good-bye and hung up. Jacqueline lowered her phone and sank onto the edge of the bed.

  “Is everything okay?” Marti scooted closer and rubbed her back.

  “Yeah.” Sean hadn’t even hesitated. They didn’t need her. Her family expected to handle things without her. Casey had covered for her for years, and now apparen
tly Sean was taking responsibility, too. “I have to go.”

  “Now?” Marti reached for her hand, but Jacqueline jerked it away and stood. “I’d hoped at least for a chance to change your mind.”

  “I’m sorry. That’s not going to happen.”

  “You said everything was okay. Maybe you should stay for the night and drive in the morning.”

  “I have to go now.” She finally looked at Marti and felt badly for how she’d treated her. They’d said again and again that they didn’t expect anything from their relationship, but she could see from Marti’s disappointment that she’d thought they would at least continue as they were. “I really am sorry.”

  Marti seemed to understand her apology wasn’t about today’s departure. She shook her head stiffly. “I have no regrets. And hey, just because we’re not sleeping together doesn’t mean we can’t have dinner when you’re in town. I wasn’t just using you for your body, you know.”

  Jacqueline laughed. “Of course. I’ll keep in touch.”

  “Okay. You have some packing to do. I’ll get out of your way.”

  After she’d seen Marti out, Jacqueline hastily got ready and headed for her car. Thankfully, she’d taken only a couple sips from her drink and could make the trip with a clear head. She’d call Owen while she drove and explain that she’d be unavailable for her meetings tomorrow.

  *

  Jacqueline pulled into her father’s driveway just after midnight. She hadn’t gone to her condo first, instead driving straight from the hotel. The house was dark, so she tried to be as quiet as possible as she let herself in the front door. The groan of the hinges and the slide of the deadbolt as she locked it behind her echoed through the silence.

  She turned toward the living room and found Sean stretched out on the couch across the darkened room. She slipped out of her shoes before she walked farther in. Sean stirred and lifted his head.

  “Hey, sorry if I woke you,” she whispered.

  “That’s okay. Poppa’s couch sucks anyway.” He sat up and made room for her next to him, his legs bridging the space from the couch to the coffee table.

  “Why aren’t you in the guest room?”

  “Mom’s in there. I told her to go home, but she insisted on staying with Poppa.”

  Jacqueline nodded. Casey wouldn’t leave her father’s care all on Sean. But she apparently didn’t need Jacqueline either. She hadn’t even called her.

  “I told her I talked to you.” Apparently, Sean could read her better than she thought. “But I didn’t think you’d come home early.”

  She bit her lip, stifling comments born of hurt feelings. Maybe she should be happy that her family helped each other so readily and that Sean took his responsibility to their family seriously. But a part of her wanted them to need her. Sean yawned and pushed back into the couch as if trying to get comfortable again.

  “Okay. Let’s get some sleep.” She stood and tapped him on the foot.

  “You’re staying?”

  “I’m here. No sense driving back to my condo now. I want to check on them tonight and again in the morning.”

  He pulled the other blanket off the back of the couch and tossed it to her. She dropped it on the recliner, where she’d catch a couple hours of sleep. Sean rolled over and faced the back of the couch, demonstrating an ability to fall back into sleep that Jacqueline hadn’t had since she was a worry-free teenager.

  As she stood there listening to his snores, she replayed the last several hours. She’d driven home as quickly as she could, hearing her father’s and Casey’s warnings in her head as she traversed over Monteagle Mountain faster than was probably safe at that time of night. She knew they were fine. Sean had told her as much on the phone. Neither would even be admitted to the hospital. But still she worried all the way home that something had gone wrong since she last spoke to him. She struggled sometimes, knowing that someday she would go off on a trip and her father wouldn’t be there to tell her to be safe. Hearing Sean tell her that her father was at the hospital had reminded her that she wasn’t ready for that day. But it would come whether she was ready or not. And she’d be left with only the memories of how she spent this time—right now. She’d made some poor decisions in that regard lately, and she wasn’t quite sure how she would fix the situation, but she was determined to try. For now, she needed to see him—to see them—and to know they were okay.

  She eased open the door to her father’s room first, relieved when she saw him. She’d take a closer look at his burns tomorrow, but Sean had said most of the water had missed him and splashed on the floor. He’d been left with some blisters and reddened skin. Casey and Sean had taken him to the hospital to be safe.

  She paused outside the guest room—her childhood bedroom. She didn’t hear any noise from within and shouldn’t risk waking Casey. But she pushed the door open a crack anyway. Casey lay sprawled out across the bed. She’d stripped the bed of all but the sheet, and even it was folded and rumpled, as if she’d been restless. Her right leg stuck out, but a bandage obscured her calf. Jacqueline’s chest clenched at the thought of even minor burns marring the skin beneath. Casey began to roll over, but when her left leg lay against her right, she whimpered and flipped onto her back.

  A bottle of pills, probably for pain, sat on the nightstand next to the lamp. Jacqueline didn’t want to disturb her, but she didn’t seem to be getting restful sleep anyway. She headed back to the kitchen for a glass of water.

  *

  “Sweetie.”

  Casey felt Jacqueline’s hand on her forehead, heard her soft whisper. She fought her way through the fog and opened her eyes. She thought she’d been dreaming, but Jacqueline sat on the edge of the bed next to her.

  “Jacqueline?”

  “I’m here. You looked like you were having trouble sleeping. Is it time for another one of those?” She nodded toward the pills.

  “Probably. I need some—”

  “Water.” Jacqueline lifted a glass Casey hadn’t noticed she’d been holding. She set it on the nightstand and picked up the painkillers. Casey sat up while Jacqueline shook a pill into her palm. “More?”

  “No. Just one. I’m trying not to overdo it.”

  “The bottle says two.”

  “One.”

  “Stubborn.” Jacqueline gave her the water.

  “Yes.” Casey smiled, then tossed back her medicine. “What are you doing here, anyway? Sean said he told you we were okay.”

  “My family is here.” Jacqueline shrugged. “Besides, I was thinking I’ve never slept in Dad’s recliner, and he always seems to really enjoy it.”

  “Jacq—”

  “Don’t bother. I’m staying.”

  Casey could spend half the night arguing with her or just accept that they would have a full house and get some rest. She took Jacqueline’s hand and tried to pull her into bed. “Come on. You can sleep with me.”

  Jacqueline resisted. “Casey—”

  “You’re not sleeping in that recliner all night. Please, don’t argue with me. I’m too exhausted, and from the looks of you, so are you. It’s not like either of us has the energy for anything but sleep.”

  Jacqueline nodded and stood. She took the glass from Casey and set it back on the nightstand, then circled to the other side of the bed, straightening the sheet as she went.

  Casey scooted back down, being careful as she adjusted her injured leg under the covers. As soon as the painkillers kicked in, she’d be comfortable enough to drift off again. She lay on her back, in deference to her leg, and rolled her head to the side, coming face-to-face with Jacqueline as she stretched out next to her.

  “Are you okay?” Jacqueline glanced toward Casey’s legs.

  “I’m fine.”

  “God, if anything happened to you.” Jacqueline’s voice sounded as if she’d forced the words through broken glass. She closed her eyes and Casey touched her cheek, wanting them open again—needing to see what those beautiful eyes gave away. When they did, she
found a depth of pain that surprised her.

  “Hey, I’m fine. It’s a minor burn.” She stroked her thumb along Jacqueline’s cheekbone and curled her fingers against her jaw.

  Jacqueline covered her hand and held it in place. “I know I said I’d give you space to think and we would talk later, but tonight—getting that call from Sean—only made me realize what I probably should have already known. I can’t do any of this without you in my life.”

  A traitorous bubble of hope clogged Casey’s throat. She shouldn’t do this now. She’d had a stressful day and would likely react too emotionally to anything Jacqueline said. She pulled her hand back, depending on mere inches of mattress to be a good-enough barrier between them. “Can we talk in the morning?”

  “Yes. But I need you to know something. Dad’s problems aren’t going away. He’ll probably get worse in the coming years. You’re as much his family as Sean and I are. So that means we’re going to be working together to take care of him, at the very least.”

  “I agree. We’ll figure it out in the morning.” She rolled over, facing away from Jacqueline. Her speech was starting to sound like one of those “let’s just be friends” moments. And Casey wasn’t sure if she was more afraid it would be or that it wouldn’t. Before tonight, she might have welcomed smoothing their tension back into a friendly place. But waking to find Jacqueline in her room had thrown her. Sean had assured her that he’d relayed their minor injuries and told Jacqueline she didn’t need to come home. But she had. She’d chosen them.

  Casey closed her eyes and shut out her own analysis of what that might mean for the two of them. She’d said they would talk tomorrow. Tonight, she’d fall asleep to the sound of Jacqueline’s breathing and the wonderfully radiant heat of another person next to her in bed.

  She still hovered at the edge of consciousness when she felt a light touch at her waist.

  “Casey?”

  For some reason, Casey didn’t respond. And when Jacqueline spoke again, she suspected Jacqueline thought she was asleep.